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The increased respect effect.

Discussion in 'The Pedestal' started by Mascara^Snake, Jan 1, 2016.

  1. I've been reading more and more from male members in long term chastity about their feelings of incresed respect for women.
    Just in the odd post here and there, it seems to crop up.
    It's something I've noticed during my own adventures with a partner who was locked long term.
    Anyway I'm not going to ramble on. I just thought it would be interesting to have an actual thread dedicated to the topic so that we might help others to recognise and understand those feelings better.
    Here is that thread.

    Oh and Happy New Year xxx
     
  2. i can definitely relate to this.... once the first week is over...there is a definite period of increasing desire to please and greater tolerance! Maybe just small things to start with..but when added together make up a sea change in general attitude. Gone is the usual...leave things lying around... they are put away.. gone is the being asked ++ to do things...i volunteer... gone are the outbursts of occasional anger... life takes on a different "femme" perspective that is far more tolerant and inclusive! Obviously giving pleasure takes a significant turn for the better for partner...she comes virtually daily...whilst i dont...but the longer i am locked the more pleasure i get ...bizarre i know unless you've experienced it! The overall feeling of "sub" that inevitably comes with long term lock ups spills out into everyday life..and yes i am sure that my attitude to women in general has become far more respectful and polite..not that i was ever rude...i just have that extra edge now...
    All in all...a new me!
    cj:)
     
  3. Definitely yes, respect through a fuller appreciation of women and their actions which provide the glue to society. As an example, we just received some beautiful flowers from relations and my wife is currently away helping out in the family. I thought she would have arranged and photographed them and sent the photo to the relations with a thank you, and so I did the same and received a nice appreciative reply from the lady involved. It's very hard to analyse but I think the effects of chastity can also be "felt" in the outside world. In my work I interact a lot with younger women and I've noticed that they are happy to seek my advice on a range of things, some surprisingly personal. I even received a couple of thank you notes at Christmas!
     
  4. i guess that would be for someone looking on from the outside to judge, but i would really hope that there isn't any difference, as that would mean i wasn't behaving as good as possible before - which i do hope i did...
     
    tomf_22033 likes this.
  5. Although I have never been disrespectful or rude to women, at times I may have been confrontational and opinionated without taking the ladies side of things into consideration. Upon being chaste for a period of time, usually after about 10 days, I find myself to soften my opinions and to look at both sides of issues that may be presented.
    I also tend to appreciate how all women present themselves while out in the public world, and I watch their body language and mannerisms. How their make-up is applied, their hair styles, and overall appearance.
    One of the things I find is that I tend to flirt more and be more involved in their conversation. Does anyone else find this to be true? Just wondering?
    I find I truly want to understand the wants and needs of not just my wife but, women in general. It has been a very interesting journey in chastity. Well that's enough of my ramblings and thank you Ms. Amanda for posing the thought.
     
    danijean001 and Mascara^Snake like this.
  6. Well, as you're aware Miss Amanda, I am one of those men that's experienced an incredible and transformational new found respect for women since my chastity lockup. Before chastity, I was very chauvinistic in nature. Although I was never outright crude to women in public, my personal view of them was that of being inferior to men, as being inherently incapable of similar accomplishments. I now know that to be untrue, however, it took male chastity to make me come to that realization. There is just something about the chaste male state that makes you more receptive to all the wonderful female traits and contributions that women make to our society. If you recall, I recently described a time when my wife took me women's clothes shopping with her at some high-end clothing boutiques. There, I saw numerous beautiful women and experienced something I can't recall ever experiencing before. I took notice of all their wonderful traits. There stood before me one of the sexiest and most beautiful blonde women I had ever seen wearing a gorgeous low cut dress and strappy gladiator sandals and looking absolutely fabulous. Before male chastity, the first thing I would have done when confronted with such a lovely woman would be to sexually degrade her in my mind, imagining her naked and engaging in all kinds of sexual acts. With male chastity however, and despite how sexually attracted I was to this woman, even much more so while chaste, I did not engage in such a thought process; instead, I began to admire her beauty and sexual appeal, taking notice of her hair, makeup, how intelligent she sounded, etc. I thought about what she might have done for a living and where she was planning to wear the outfit she was trying on. I couldn't believe what had happened, I was experiencing an undeniably profound respect for this woman. It was truly an awakening that made me realize that a transformation was taking place within me and I began to pay close attention at my interaction with women in society thereafter. I've never recalled saying "yes ma'am" or holding as many doors open for women so many times in my entire life since my journey with male chastity began. I used to sexually degrade women who chose to wear something sexy, but now I realize that the problem has always been with me, I was the one who didn't like the power that women's sexuality had over me and found it intimidating. A woman has the right to wear whatever she chooses and it's my responsibility to remain respectful. When I'm chaste now, I can't help but pay attention and remain respectful of women, it's completely beyond my control. It's ironic to think that the hornier I am, the more polite, patient, and respectful I am of women. The role male chastity has had and continues to have in my new found dense of respect for women is not easy to understand, but it's caused me to spend many hours in self reflection, attempting to understand how the two are related. One theory that I've gravitated to includes the following: the sexual attraction that men feel towards women evolved as a method of facilitating the social interaction between the two sexes; therefore, when men diminish the sexual attraction they feel towards women by way of frequent sex or more often through masturbation, it causes them to take women for granted and fail to take notice of their beauty, intelligence, and many wonderful characteristics. Since masturbation is no longer an option for relieving that sexual desire, I'm forced to channel my sexual desire into an ever increasing admiration of women. I was attacked by other men on CM for hypothesizing this, but it's my opinion and based on my personal experience with male chastity.
     
  7. @ChasteHubby2015@ChasteHubby2015 it's partly your posting that was inspiration for this thread.
    I'm sorry that you felt attacked by others for expressing your feelings and I'm glad that didn't prevent you from posting again.
     
    ChasteHubby2015 likes this.
  8. Thank you! I appreciate your support Miss Amanda and if I may say, I'm so unbelievably honored that my experience helped inspire your post. It really has been an amazing transformation for me and even my female coworkers have taken notice of the change, but none of them are aware that it's because I'm kept chaste. I used to find it very difficult to respect, take seriously, or take orders from a woman who turned me on. Now the complete opposite has occurred, no matter how turned on I am now by a woman, the high level of respect I have for her remains the same. I look forward to our continued exploration and intellectual discussion of this extraordinary phenomenon. It's been truly life changing for me.
     
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  9. I've always highly considered women, and that partly explain why I struggle to find a girlfriend, I worry too much about not being "good enough" for them. Being locked up by a woman obviously didn't change my opinion of women. In fact, I feel like it is a normal continuity to my deep respect of women.

    When @ChasteHubby2015@ChasteHubby2015 said his female coworkers noticed a change, it made me think about my interactions with my female coworkers. And I think chastity made me slightly change the way I interact with them. I always knew it was essential having a woman point of view on any projects, but chastity and the fact that I was my domme's sub made me trust them a lot more.

    I'm glad chastity is able to change men's opinion towards women, who knows it may be the solution to our still very sexist society lol !
     
    Mascara^Snake likes this.
  10. It's kind of sad to me that it took chastity for some to have a change of their opinion with women. Don't get me wrong as I am glad that it did change your opinion and respect for them.

    I grew up in an all boy family with a very strict mother who taught us to respect everybody. That everyone mattered. I'm glad she did because she is so right. It was definitely an eye opener having raised 2 beautiful daughters and watching how they grew through the years. Something I wasn't exposed to only having brothers.

    I am very attracted to women, always have been. All women are sexy in their own way, bright too! Always treated them with the utmost respect. In my field of work, you better have respect and value their thoughts and opinions or you would be out of business. Do I check women out every once and a while? You bet. I am a man after all and women are beautiful. Does that mean anything is going to come of it? Absolutely not. Am I disrespecting my wife when I do? Not a chance. In fact, my wife will point them out to me. She loves to get me going whenever she can. She will say stuff to me like..."She sure is sexy. Too bad you can't do anything about it." Goes to show how very comfortable our relationship has become.

    I got involved into chastity because of respect for my wife and desperate need to fix our relationship. With sexual intercourse being uncomfortable for my wife, I knew she was only doing her "wifely duty", a term I hate, to appease me every so often. Because of it, she was holding back in all other areas of our lives. I was also holding back. I knew that if I could find a way to take that sexual pressure off her that things could be so much better between us. That we both could be true to ourselves and each other. Took a little convincing her in the beginning but now it will never go back. Sexual freedom for her without any pressure was just what the doctor ordered for her and our relationship. It's been amazing watching her/our transformation.
     
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  11. It's amazing how similar our situations are, as my wife also finds sexual intercourse pleasure, but too much of it very physically discomforting (more than once a week), so male chastity was very welcomed on her end. It's not that I wasn't taught to respect women or had content towards them or treated them rudely, it's just that when I was frequently masturbating, I started to view women as purely sexual beings - they were first and foremost my next masturbatory fantasy focal point. Also, because I frequently masturbated, I was never full of an adequate amount of sexual desire, so I took women for granted. It was like diminishing the value of a gourmet meal because you snacked on candy all day and you're feeling full. When I now interact with women, the tightness of the device makes erections so uncomfortable that any sexual fantasizing is severely reprimanded, forcing me to channel my sexual desire into admiration. In addition, because I know that I can't physically masturbate away my strong sexual desires for the beautiful women I see, I don't waste my time trying to fantasize and instead focus on the interaction we have. My wife also doesn't mind me checking out other women, she doesn't think it's disrespectful to them or her, but she does think getting erections for and masturbating to those women is disrespectful to them and her and now that it's impossible for me to do so, she is actually even more comfortable with me admiring them, knowing full well that it's all I'm allowed to do.
     
    Batman likes this.
  12. Yes, I used to find it difficult to take the women I work with seriously because I kept sexually objectifying them in my mind. It was especially hard as a young 29/30 year old and hot blooded man to take orders from my direct boss - a younger 26 year old very beautiful woman that dressed sexy in the office and who wasn't very well experienced or knowledgable in my field. I used to hold discontent towards her, thinking she's only there because of her looks and that the only thing she's good for is...all kinds of chauvanistic thoughts I am not proud of. In fact, she and I would often have confrontations because of my disobedience or insubordination. After male chastity, I have never said no to her, it's been "yes ma'am" this and "yes ma'am" that. I now genuinely respect her and admire all the other qualities she has that I never took notice before, such as her tremendous business sense and attention to detail. She has definitely taken notice and is very happy with my behavior now. The fact is, I was the one with the problem, I had trouble answering to a younger woman that turned me on, but male chastity changed all that. Before, I would masturbate to her images, but how in the world was I supposed to respect a woman in the office and take orders from her if I spent every night sexually fantasizing and masturbating to her images? Now that I can't so much as achieve an erection for her, all that sexual desire I have for her has turned into admiration of her and demonstrated through my subordination and obedience. The combination of my locked up state, long periods of denial, and inability to experience a painless erection, have all forced me to view and admire and other women in the office and in society in general in ways I never thought imaginable.
     
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  13. I am totally confused which is good, I love being locked and denied and I want an orgasm now.

    What is not confusing is how I try to treat my partner.

    It comes down to this...if she is willing to do this thing for me 24/7/365 then it only fair right and proper that I should do all that I can do for her, to both show her how much I appreciate her efforts and by way of a thank you.

    Admittedly there is a selfish element.. the more I do for her the less she has to do, the less tired she will be the more likely she will want to take advantage of all the things I can do for her in the bedroom too. Whether she does or not does not matter I'll be here locked horny and grateful whenever she wants.

    Do I treat a partner better now than before I was first denied and then locked.

    You can bet that I do with all certainty.
    Not that I treat any of them badly before .
    I just deliberately now make an effort now to learn how, both in and out of the bedroom.
    .
    .
     
    ChasteHubby2015 likes this.
  14. When locked up it only takes a day or two after my last orgasm that I have this building desire to make my mistress happy. She generally doesn't really have to ask me to do anything at this point. It truly makes me a better husband and do more for her. When I was constantly masturbating I found that I was much more selfish. I would purchase more things for myself and not want to spend much time with my wife, playing video games, in the garage a lot etc... My cock being locked up was the best thing for both of us, I'd never go back. I think I'm generally a more amiable person too.
     
    Administrator likes this.
  15. This has been my finding. "generally more amiable" very possibly noticeable by more than just your wife.
     
  16. I have had a similar response since starting using chastity. My Wife and I were always close and I always knew she was sexy. Somehow though my response and attitude towards her have now convinced her that she truly is sexy. This means she acts even more sexy and it just gets better and better. This is part of the reason that we have become incredibly close and our friends and colleagues are noticing.

    As for other women I do still look at them and admire their bodies. There were a few of my work colleagues I had who I would fantasize about but that never changed how I treated them on a day to day basis. There are a few who know I find them sexually attractive, like many women they can be quite astute at these sorts of things. They do however trust me implicitly and we are still close friends because they know how much I love my Wife. Incidentally my Wife also knows and has in the past teased me about it quite effectively.

    For me one major change in the way I look at other women is I definitely pay far more attention to the way they wear clothes, how they stand, move and present themselves. I find many women to be far more aware of the way they look than almost all men do, they certainly spend much more time and care on themselves. I find it incredible how often you see a couple together, the woman looking wonderful and the guy looking scruffy, like he just doesn't care.

    I think I might have been one of the men that @ChasteHubby2015@ChasteHubby2015 talked about when he said he had been attacked for his views on how he has changed. We had quite a long and interesting discussion about our differing views and I apologized then, and do so again now, unreservedly. I find him to be an honest and interesting member of the forum. I think he realised he was projecting his own chastity induced changes on all men and it wasn't necessarily true that all men have such a dramatic change in attitude, but that doesn't mean he hasn't made a positive change to himself through the use of chastity.
     
  17. Yes the T shirt and jeans thing. it seems to be coming more and more acceptable.
    I hate it.
     
  18. Me too. My Wife and I are changing my wardrobe to smarten me up. The cross dressing has developed into something we do for fun rather than a lifestyle but my man clothes are going through a transition as much as my body and mind are. I still wear jeans but the baggy hoodies have gone and I am much more likely to wear a shirt now. The biggest thing to go (pun intended) has been my gut. This year I have gone from a UK size 38 trouser down to a 34 and the way things are going I might hit 32. That is a significant change, the last time I was a 34 was twenty years ago, and 32, well, who knows!?
     
    Mascara^Snake likes this.
  19. I suspect you feel a lot better for it ?@Jasmic68
     
  20. The difference is staggering. I am more alive than I have been for a long time. I eat better, sleep better and just generally feel better.

    Our modern lives seem to be designed to destroy us in the most crazy and fastest ways possible. We have spent millions of years moving a lot and eating a little. Now we eat a lot and move a little. And what we do eat is not close to being healthy. Fluffy white bread, the wrong fats, cheap sugar replacements and far too much salt.

    People don't need faddy diets. They need to stop eating processed food and learn to cook. Or at least learn to control what they put in their mouths.

    Footnote - having just said I am more alive than ever, I am having today off after staying up until the early hours of the morning watching the olympics, seeing Laura Trott and Jason Kenny win golds in the velodrome. What a night for British sport!
     
  21. I don't remember seeing this thread back in January. @Mascara^Snake@Mascara^Snake thank you for bring it back.
    I think respect is something you are brought up with.
    When I was growing up I was almost constantly reminded to respect people, my teachers my elders ect.
    I have always had respect for women.

    I don't think chastity made me any more respectful towards females, What it did do was make me think more about ways to make @Mistress Jules@Mistress Jules happy.
    Whilst locked and selfishly wondering when I would get release I would wonder what Mistress Jules was doing at that moment.

    I would think more about how she juggles her job and home life.
    When she comes home from work I am sure chastity wold be the last thing she wold want to think about.
    So maybe that gave me more respect for her and who she is as a person rather than Mistress/ KH
     
    Mascara^Snake and Mistress Jules like this.
  22. I am not sure if it's increased respect, but recently asked mistress Amante if I acted any different while caged for a week or two, or after I cum. I am pretty accommodating naturally so was curious. She said I text, talk, and try to be around her more when locked. She says I make her feel really wanted and constantly turn her on with what I text and say while locked. I never really realized I ebbed away from it enough to notice but she did.
     
  23. I think it's about men realising or perhaps discovering their natural state, embracing for maybe the first time the wonderful complex power - physical, spiritual, emotional - of the Feminine Divine and being healthily receptive to her intelligence, wisdom and intuition. Semen retention or orgasm control is really an important part of who we are meant to be. We are not supposed to waste our ejaculations any more than we are supposed to be disrespectful in word or deed towards women.

    I don't personally wear a chastity device. Once upon a time we may have referred to it as an 'honour system' but over the years it simply became our lifestyle, loosely based on ancient Taoist philosophies. It may be 2 weeks, it may be 5 weeks, I never ask, she instinctively knows when an orgasm for me is best for us. I have learned to respect and trust unconditionally her instincts and intellect. She has moved in and out of my life several times over the years (currently in), has had other lovers (mostly at the same time as myself) although, such is our love for each other, she has always supervised my orgasms regardless of where our relationship stands or who else she is seeing. She enjoys and encourages the respect and devotion I show her through being faithful and chaste and plans to continue helping me find the willpower to please her. For me, that's really the meaning of life.

    It was insightful of Ms. Amanda to start this thread. It's an important issue and I'm glad it seems to have been revived here. I've learned a lot from reading everybody's thoughts so far.
     
    Joan.t and Mascara^Snake like this.
  24. This is really similar for us. It takes Greg a couple days once locked up to really settle back into his humble, loving skin. I love the way he listens and attends to Me and My girlfriends. Chastity has definitely made him more compassionate for Women as a whole, our struggles and achievements and just plainly our presence in everyday life. It's really beautiful ☺️
     
  25. Well it's been a year since I last posted on this, and I can safely say, she prefers the locked up me, over the unlocked and just finished me.

    Orgasms are now a treat when she feels I've earned them. They are pretty much for my enjoyment only, she prefers the toys and mouth versions. So when it does happen it's because she is being giving, and the loss of my desire to please her is something she accepts as part of giving me the treat.

    That being said, she doesn't give out near as many treats as she used to, given that she loses certain aspects of my personality in the exchange.
     
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