My Queen and I typically have a weekly romp. With about a 50/50 split between PIV with orgasm, or me masturbating for her. The past few weeks it has been masturbation for me. This week however was PIV and a full on intense orgasm. Afterwards I felt like crap, almost depressed. I was wondering what the hell was wrong, as I’d just had a mind blowing time. Later I began to wonder if this was the drop I’d been hearing about? I hadn’t went that long without PIV before.
Yup, that's it exactly. Now you know why, once people go down this path, everyone seems to prefer long gaps between full Os.
4 to 5 weeks is a good time between Piv. That has been what works for us. We know it will be a couple of days of drop but it is worth it. If you only go a week that means 2 of the seven days are spent getting back to a submissive state of mind. That is why it's better to wait a little longer.
Yup...you definitely need much longer times between orgasms. A month in between is a good start, if your Queen is OK with that. Of course, this is all about Her needs and wants. But I think if you focus your attentions on Her orgasms in between your own, making sure that you do everything possible to make Her orgasm the best ever, She may come to the realization that She doesn't need to feel you inside Her as much as She thought. As I like to say, I am my Lovely Wife's Orgasm Assistant. After a long enough period of just focusing on Her needs and not being allowed to have any orgasms, I have reached the point that I "feel" and enjoy Her orgasm as if it's my own. But afterward, I'm still horny as heck and hot for Her. It's hard to explain and probably even harder for some to believe, but that's where we are in our relationship. The benefit for me is that I get the emotional release of an orgasm without the dreaded "drop". The benefit for Wifey is that She does not have to worry about anything but concentrating on Her pleasure. I'm not suggesting that you aspire to where we are in our relationship. You have to do what works for you and your Queen. Well...mostly your Queen. But there there are all sorts of levels of play in this lifestyle and what's important is that you find what works best for your relationship. Good Luck, ~subrick
I think my wife and I are kind of like you guys where we usually play about once a week, sometimes it’s every two weeks just depending. My wife loves my submissive behavior from being locked but she also likes me to have full orgasms. Being cummed on really turns her on and she has never cared to try to give me ruined O’s to keep my mood, I think in her mind I keep an acceptable attitude after given an O. I definitely have my high and low points of feeling submissive but I find that has less to do with having an orgasm versus just what’s going on in day to day life. I did feel in the beginning I was definitely back and forth mood wise after I came but that might more be a result of coming from years of masturbating multiple times a day to being allowed typically one orgasm a week or longer. After a while I just got used to how she wanted things and on average I don’t feel like I suffer from subdrop anymore. I do lose a little of my subbiness after I cum but if I lock up right after playtime usually in the next day or two that low level erotic high is back from being under her spell. I feel like subdrop is definitely a real thing but I also think the idea of it is blown out of proportion by a lot of men and some of us use it as a convenient excuse. In the end I feel like once you get acclimated to what your partner wants you just adapt and for the most part how you feel psychologically is mostly dependent on you.
It certainly sounds like it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-coital_tristesse It's a lot more common than one might think.
That's exactly how it was with us. Weekly just wasn't working at all because too much of that time was spent getting back to the right state. Monthly was pretty good, not only was the drop less severe, but two days out of a month is no big deal. Extending it to a few months, with several ruined orgasms in between, has been perfect. Well, perfect for me. I know hubby would like to cum more often, but he agrees that this is better overall.
I'm like the OP - she actively wants me to come and, hey, who am I to disrespect her wishes? ... She also enjoys me losing my mind & horny as hell for her too (go figure) so perhaps trying 3x weekends with a ruin with a full saved for pay-day weekend could be an idea? - I'll suggest it (next time she initiates the discussion of course)
Some guys have significantly stronger hormone swings than others. I for one get more irritable and bossy and tempered for about 3 days after an orgasm. Sub drop (in my mind) is a different term used for after intense scenes, when subspace is a thing. That's why aftercare is so important after things like impact play or a mentally challenging BDSM scene. The change in attitude and temperament after an orgasm is not sub drop, but a chemical change that men go through. Women often see dramatic changes in hormones, men experience the same thing. It's just that CHASTE men allow us to see the full amplitude of that change when it occurs, because after about 2 weeks they've reached a baseline static phase in their chemistry. The good news for women and chaste subs is that the hormone chaos seems to be a little easier after a long time without release. I believe it has something to do with the male sub being in a proper mental state and even the hormone disruption tends to not disturb their mental frame of mind about submission and their place in life. Most of us in long periods of chaste lockup imposed by dominants tend to be a little more accepting of the docile attitude required by a strict dominant. Just my pet theory, I can't back that up.