Teaching the kids

Good for her

 

I also believe that for women, equality should be seen as the minimum.

However, as well as teaching them confidence, may I suggest your wife needs to teach them about the male ego, and how to gradually overcome it, to the point where the male willingly accepts submission to, and the loving care of, his superior female.

 

Yes, definite pros and cons here. Excellent that your daughters will grow into confident young women. But there are still many men out there with less enlightened views and they need to be warned about that, too.

I'm sure your wife has that in hand, of course.

 

Generally I think it's better that people choose who gets to be the boss in a relationship.

 

My kids are a bit older (young adults)
It was pretty clear to them growing up who was boss.

 

Why is she putting false ideas into their heads? She should be teaching them that everyone is equal. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses and it all evens out in the end. The only boss one has is the one they work for and tells them what to do in return for their paycheck.

 

In my experience, kids grow up and do what they want to do, despite the best efforts of their parents to force them down one route or another. Has it occurred to your wife that one or both of your daughters may turn out to prefer a submissive lifestyle? Would that be regarded as being wrong?

 

same here!

 

Why does mostly everyone on this site feel there is a need to be a "BOSS" in a relationship????????

My wife and I have been married over 40 year and we were equal the whole time. I did what I was best at and so did she. It is a great relationship. Neither of us has ever felt inferior. I can see giving up control every now and then during sex but beyond that what is the sense?

 

It really helps my marriage when i submit to my Wife. It took me too msny years to figure that out and to let go of male ego

That said, we are equal in major life and financial decisions, in parenting, and when we are in therapy sessions together

 

I would have the same reaction to kids being taught that the husband is the boss.

 

Many people on this site seem to feel that females are inherently superior. My feelings about this are complicated.

It turns me on sexually for my wife to be in charge, which is a role that she sometimes takes on. But as far as one gender being superior ... no. I react to that idea the same as when I hear a man putting a women down as inferior. It just ain't so.

My whole internal sexual life revolves around a woman taking charge of me. Yes, please make me your Boy Toy. But at the same time I truly believe that we're equal. There are things in our lives where I take the lead and other things where she takes the lead. This works for us.

 

The details of any relationship should be negotiated between the individuals involved in it. Telling a child that women are the bosses of the home does not lead them towards becoming dominant. It leads them on the path of selfishness. If it is their innate right, then they can do whatever they want with that authority and the man is the one in the wrong if he complains. If it is willingly ceded by a partner, then the partner in charge is liable to be more cognizant of their need to do what is best for the relationship and that if things go wrong, it is likely because of their abuse.

 

A lot of the discussion about Female Led Relationships has to do with what a FLR is. It's clear to me that it's for each couple to decide for themselves.

Are females inherently superior? I don't think so but I guess a lot of the people here do.

Some women are sexually dominant and that turns me on enormously but I don't extend that to their being superior human beings.

 

After raising two great daughters, I have learned:

- Give them one on one time without screen distractions. Read a book together. Read another book.
- They learn more through observance rather than direct teaching, and they are very observant.
- Having a good dad, in all respects, sets the stage for choosing their own partner in the future. Time together matters.
- Observing a relationship between parents that value equal respect, effort, and tangible love, is what they will seek as a model for their own relationship.

Work on the basics, it is what is meaningful and lasting.

 

I totally agree. I would never ever tell my kids that a certain gender/"race"/country/whatever is superior as this is NOT true and also against human rights.
I agree that a relationship where the woman is taking the lead is great because men (including me) are looking at their own interests if not locked up ;-) but I would never call the female the boss.
Boss = someone who is able to tell you what you should do and who gives you money to follow his order.
I would never ever allow this in a relationship.
Therefore: <word> superiority = BS.
with word = white, male, female, whatever

I agree that the world would be a much better place if women get more chances to lead, not because of female superiority but of male stupidity. Two different things.

Piet

 

Well said.

 

We tried to not implied child in our kink, also my daughet has a feminist education and thinks she has rights that she holds for god.
I have also been educated from my wife to feminism and now I get in FLR and I am ok with it, I am now Ok and accepting gynarchy withour protesting in any way.

 

While I do not yet have a formal FLR, there are existing aspects of it in my marriage. We always discuss issues and generally come to consensus. However, if we have a difference of opinion I will most often defer to her as I have great respect for her judgment. She has always had a more dominant personality than I. She is decisive and has a clear vision of how she wants her life to be. I feel fortunate to have had the chance to join the ride. She also respects me, cherishes me, and has always supported my work. I do the majority of the housework and I love to cook. I also schlep the kids to there appointments and to school.

I was a comparative religion major in college and grad school and took many courses related to feminism and feminist theology. I think I was naturally drawn to this area of study and am sure it has influenced my relationship with my wife.

I have yet to discuss FLR and chastity with her. I think she will be receptive. I am trying this on my own first.

 

I am not a supporter of the idea of a superior gender. Neither is my wife. We raised our children to be tolerant of others, and that just because one day you have the tiger by the tail, the next day the bear might eat you. We also taught them that if they ever were in a serious relationship, being a team on things is key. Chastity is a private game for us, nothing more. Everyone to their own tastes, but raising daughters to be proponents of what sounds like misandry is what put women behind men for centuries. Just my view. YMMV.

 

I would like to add my 2 cents to the conversation. It is often accepted that women are the boss in the home. It is their safe place, their domain to raise the kids, teach them values and obedience. Men go out to gather, hunt and defend in the olden days and in more recent history to earn, protect and provide. Unfortunately nowadays it's more murky with both parents working and kids more raised by the babysitter, TV, video games and computer. In a healthy home one needs to be in control, not both rivaling to take the lead. Both parents need to be united in judgement towards the children and not have a different opinion over matters affecting the children. Correcting children is done in a loving environment not to build a wall between parent and child but to correct behavior and than assure that he/she is loved and forgiven. If spanking is part of the norm than this is implied in the same way. I believe children are smart in picking up dynamics between parents and will pick up subtle behaviors even if we do not point them out. Girls will often look for a spouce having Dad's characteristics and boys more vaguely tend to look more for the motherly instilled values. Behavior and endured abuse at home often feels as the safe norm when looking for a partner. So parents instill love, confidence and values in your children. I have seen several FLR households over the years and almost all were hidden from the children and yet the girls often copied Mom (or looked for Dad) when it came to choose a partner. Only in one occasion did I observe a truly open household where 2 daughters in their later teens and one 8 year old boy were present when mostly the 8 year old got punished, but in rear occasion were present in the onset of a husband punishment. The Mom on one occasion told my fiance at that time that she had her son spanked by the oldest daughter. How else does she learn how to keep her future boyfriend in line. It would be wrong for me to step in at that time... she stated. She also was the one training my fiance in a FLR status and as training she showed her how to apply a spanking with me as the object of instruction. Unfortunately we broke up after 2.5 years but for me some groundwork in a relationship was made.

 

Yeah agreed. There needs to be balance in order to be a good team/marriage.

 

Now this either sounds like fiction or if it's real, just plain appalling.