Stuck ! Female Lead Relationship

I never said it was painless or easy. In some cases it certainly can be. Doesn't change all relationships or on a voluntary basis in the end.

 

Ok on a certain abstract level you’re correct but in practice it’s not like that.

 

Oh and I was still editing the post when you replied, and the last bit I added is particularly significant

 

The argument you’re making is a bit like the assertion that there’s no such thing as addiction because ultimately anyone can quit heroin/smoking/gambling etc. Yeah they can, but often they don’t, because they’re wedded to their habit and the mindset that goes with it. It’s also a bit reminiscent of Louis CK’s claim that the women in front of whom he wanked had consented. On one level they had, but on another they felt pressured. For many if not all people into BDSM the central issue is the eroticisation of unfreedom.

 

A choice is still being made however. As in most things in life there's always a choice. People quit smoking and drugs everyday. Giving up your consent is a choice. Both people in any relationship regardless of the dynamic deserve to be happy and have a say. If the illusion of having no control is what makes you happy fine. Doesn't change a voluntary choice was made consent given to not exist supposedly. We all have free will and choices. To believe otherwise is foolish and borderline a victim type mentality.

 

Agree! But at a certain level submissive sexuality might be understood as a sectioned off space for expressing this “victim mentality” with full consciousness - so actually safer than denying that aspect of oneself and risking it surfacing unbidden in other areas of life.

 

I didn't read all the posts here but you started out saying she owns you. She controls your entire schedule. She calls you the full time house bitch. Well that sounds like a level 3 or 4 FLR. That's more than most men get who want a FLR with their wife. Most women are turned off by the idea. Consider yourself lucky. Anyway, just my opinion.

 

I didn’t realise there was a recognised taxonomy, can you provide the reference?

 

www.aboutflr.com is one

There are many articles about FLR levels. I assume that is what you are talking about

And like I said. It's just my opinion.

 

So, are you referring to the 7 point taxonomy posited by Dosia (2023) “7 Categories of behavior [sic] and Core Make-Up”?

 

I have no idea what your talking about. Anyway, I don't really care to analyze it. I just stated my opinion on something. I don't know or care to know what taxonomy means. You must be a college professor or something.

 

You need to realize that if your Wife hasn’t transformed into the super strict Domme already, chances are it’s not going to happen and you’ll need to adjust to your actual reality in being her chaste subby. I too crave for more dominance from my Wife, and we’ve talked about it over our last four years of chastity and me switching from the more dominant one to being submissive to her. She knows the basic needs and wants I have in living this way, and I would love for her to suddenly become my fantasy idea of a Domme, but I know where she is comfortable, and she does a great job and has taken over our sex lives completely. But I’m the one who had to be realistic about this and if it ever becomes boring and stale, we’ll talk and move on from there, whether that means giving up the cage and going back to our regular sex lives which still had some kink, so be it.
Her dominance has grown significantly over these four years, but she’s never going to suddenly parade around in thigh high leather boots and carry a whip and beat me cuz I left a dish on the counter, or anything from some porn clips of what a pro domme is shown as being. I know this and accept it and we’re still having fun.
To me, if you’ve decided to be her sub, you’re gonna have to roll with how she chooses to be in charge. And if it just doesn’t really fulfill your expectations, and you can’t continue, maybe it’s time to go back to “normal” marriage life

 

Oh sorry! It just means a set of categories arranged in an order. Quicker than using all those little words.

 

Also I suppose I sort of assumed you must be a sociologist or anthropologist or something cos you were able to assess the OP’s account and place it within a structured ranking that’s presumably research based…

 

screw you. Your an idiot. troll. No one is impressed. Muppet uses the best words

 

it often seems like muppet enjoys irritating people with his confrontational manner but name calling does not improve others opinion of you or your position.

 

I didn’t think the word was overly obscure, seemed to neatly describe the idea of levels of FLR that you mentioned and was new to me. So I asked for the reference and you gave it… now you and I both know something new. That’s good, isn’t it?

 

Nah you'd be a snowflake to get offended at screw you and calling out someone as a troll isn't offensive either, it's just a perceived short term behaviour. The dialectics and outwitting for the sake of online humiliation isn't that offensive either just incredibly tiresome, intellectual competitiveness in a manner I thought this forum was a break from. It's not just muppet, a couple of other males creating a bit of a toxic atmosphere with all this "fooled you with my superior sarcasm" drivel. Not wanting to feud with anyone just food for thought. You honestly sound like you're still in first year at uni. You could try being genuine??

 

Personally, I have no idea what y'all are talking about. And I'm not a simpleton.

went over my head. I write like that when I'm writing a technical article and need to provide references. It seems over the top for a chastity thread, but hey, at least we know where you got your point from. I did chuckle when I read the reference though, and thought

Was a witty rejoinder. But FLRsub's followup response:

Was probably unnecessary. Fortunately, Muppet didn't seem offended:

Moral of the exchange: There isn't one. Just interesting reading.

 

Well the goal of a troll is to get a bite. I have, FLRsub has. So if the alleged trolls get that warm glow of satisfaction then they are as described, and have overpowered us mere mortals. While the OP, who I have encouraged others to help, is halfway up a chimney chute, naked other than a cage and a collar.

 

It’s not that at all! I just was totally flummoxed by the mention of “level 3 and level 4 FLR” as if this was something a general reader ought to be familiar with, so I enquired about it. Had no idea my use of a word that @FLRsub didnt know would cause an uproar. I’m always coming across words I don’t know, so I google them. Taxonomy is a really useful word cos like I say, it says in 4 syllables something which otherwise takes a whole lot of words to express.

 

I support you. People shouldn't use long words that other people don't understand. It's not fair at all. Well done for sticking up for yourself against the evil Muppet, who is clearly a know-it-all woman pretending to be a man.

 

Having now googled “level 3 FLR” I came across
“Female Led Relationship Meaning and Levels Explained” by Ryan Hart [2023]. He offers only 3 levels. So it seems from an admittedly cursory literature search that there isn’t a universally established taxonomy (can I use that word now we all know what it means?). Honestly guys, I’m just trying to educate myself cos up til now I thought of FLRs as just privately negotiated seat-of-pants kinky arrangements between individual perverts and had no idea there was a burgeoning systematic commentary upon the phenomenon.

 

I clearly cannot be a woman because I am not verified as such. As a card-carrying verificationist you should know better!