Hello, can you give me some advice on how to stop contradicting my girlfriend's statements? Sometimes I get the first impulse to disagree with one of her comments or decisions. This bothers me and I definitely want to stop doing it. It also bothers her a lot and she gets annoyed. I would say that the longer I'm locked up, the better I get with it, but it happens from time to time that this first impulse comes over me. In some situations, she just makes me out to be stupid and absolutely inferior (she is also smarter and more successful than me) and I can't help but argue with her, even though she is always in the right to do so. Is there a trick I can use to prevent this?
Get into the habit of reciting these three questions before you feel the need to say something: Does this need to be said? Does this need to be said by me? Does this need to be said by me now?
I can guarantee you that it’s always no for all of these question but the impulse to „fight“ back comes up in a mili second… but yes maybe I can make this clear for myself when I start to say something
Do you have difficulty organising tasks? Sometime a little forgetful or make poor decisions with your priorities? Low attention span? Quick to argue/disagree? Struggle listening to others? You may have ADHD.
yes some points are valid could be possible. That’s why my gf/mistress is so helpful and makes my life better.
I struggle with this as well. My mind goes don't say it and my mouth says it. I just ask myself in my head repeatedly if it really needs said and what good will it do.
Early on in the chastity thing, when my wife would get frustrated with me not listening, with me interrupting, etc., I explained that punishment was 100% in her control. She could add a week on for each bit of disrespect, for example. Or whatever punishment she wanted to use. In general, though, the chastity largely cured my disrespect on its own. I became a better listener, and went from being asshole-husband to supporting-deferential-partner in a year or so. It's just natural now that when she's talking, I'm listening, and when she makes a decision, that I am grateful for whatever it is.
Maybe you need to acknowledge what you already said. My biggest mistake was not acknowledging that I was inferior to my wife. Yes, chastity helped me get to that understanding, but in the end, it was me that made the decision to submit and be submissive to my wife. When I decided to dedicate my life to be in service to her, accept her leadership, her words as law and let her take control, life became more fruitful and our marriage happier. I actually grew as a person. Our sex life thrived. I can’t say one bad thing that has happened at all come to think of it. Maybe that’s just me.
A sissy said to me one day he ponces around the house in drag but not with her full approval and his wife might say " gawd your a faggot" and his response is, yes I know. He agrees with her and does not fight it.
Yes, yes, yes, what did you fucking say? Does that answer your question? Urrr! Sorry... What were we talking about?
Got to practice engaging a filter in your head and thinking about your agreed position in a FLR, then re-phrase what you were thinking in a more respectful way. My wife likes to use a riding crop on my bottom, no specific reason other than she enjoys it. However, if she feels I've been talking to her in a disrespectful way she make a point of having me apologise for each transgression and promise to do better as she works my bottom over.
I tend to express my opinion quite often as well and for us that is fine. We have a rule for it though: I can disagree once. Should I have not convinced her then and her decision still stand every other word on the topic is on my own risk. In rare occasions I might take the risk if it is about some rather important and I am sure of myself and still might be able to convince her (she is fair) - should she get annoyed though it would not fare well. To put it short: Get her comfortable to exact punishment if she gets "annoyed" by you. Important: "Punishment" in this case meaning somre real punishment that you will not like for sure and not some fake "roleplay" punishments. If the two of you are not into coporeal punishmets that is no problems as there are a LOT of alternatives: - Do you like "the simpsons?" Do it like Bart Simpson and write 50 pages in neat lines " I shall not annoy my wife." (or some other text of her choice). At page ten you will realize why this is is a punishment if it is done in a quiet room without TV, music, smartphone or anything else to distract you. - That is a too moronic punishment ? Well, it should be !^^ But if you like to use your intelect somewhat more, why not wite an 10 page, machine written essay about why you are not supposed to annoy her ? - I do not know where you are from, but if the last example was too intelectual maybe you are more into enviroment protection ? Do something for your green footprint and go shopping for the next weeks by foot or bike instead of using your car. - All of that too harsh ? Well...why shouldn't she give you a reward instead ? After all it was only good intentions from your side... But what could she do for you ? She has surely some interest that you do not care to participate in ? Well - let her show you why she loves this activity so much ! But when to do it when her timetable is that full ? Oh yes - there is a free timeslot at her schedule ! Oh no....that is exactly when you have cards with your best friends for a NFL game ? Do not be sad - I am sure they will enjoy the game even without you. There are a LOT of things she could do to make you realize she is annoyed with you (and make you wish she would not be) even without corporeal punishments...
I used to do this all the time. My wife hated it and told me so. The charity cage and her ownership of the key cured me of this bad habit!
Always remember... If you don't say it now, you could still say it later. But if you do say it now, you can never take it back.
It’s hard, but it can be done, just remember that her voice means silence, every to you hear it, it means you keep quiet!
Focus on listening to her and not interjecting your opinion, even if you disagree. It's hard to do, but keep practicing it. Bad habits are hard to break. Acknowledging the issue to your wife and asking her to help you break the habit is a great way to move forward. A few strategies that my wife is currently employing with me to help me be a better listener: 1) Silent days - a full day where I am not to speak to her unless she gives me permission or asks me a direct question. If she talks to me, I must just listen and obey without comment. This is hard to do but overtime I am getting better. 2) Often times she has me kneel when she talks with me. This puts me in an inferior position and gets me into a submissive mindset, which in turn keeps me 100% focused on what she is saying and puts me in a receptive mindset versus a mindset of wanting to disagree with her. If I am not kneeling and I mis-speak, sometimes she will stop me, point to the floor for me to kneel, and the continue the conversation with me on my knees. Another approach she uses, which has the same effect is to hold my cock when she talks to me. Sometimes she will just walk up to me and grab my cock and tell me something or order me to do something, and then she'll walk away. 3) A quick easy punishment when she does not like my tone or does not like the way I talk to her. Usually it is 15 minutes of kneeling in the corner or 15 minutes of pacifier time. She bought a baby pacifier and if I mis-speak she will order me to sit with the pacifier for 15 minutes. If we are out in public she will say something like, "You just earned pacifier time when we get home." That shuts me up instantly. The advantage with the pacifier is she can keep talking to me and I am forced to remain silent. As others have said, the most important thing if for you to make a conscious effort to change and to accept her authority. Sometimes its best to remain silent if you have a different opinion, and if she does stop you and issue a punishment, you need to accept it without argument and without hesitation, no matter what you think,
There are some thoughtful, actual good advice replies in here. You keep suprising me boys. Goddess Jade.