So I asked my mistress wife today (long term committed relationships)…

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by branded_hubby, May 1, 2021.

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  1. branded_hubby
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    branded_hubby Junior Member

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    When we met, do you think I was giving off some subconscious or subliminal sub vibe, and were hitting me with a subliminal or subconscious Domme vibe? Is that a part of the reason we clicked and ended up together?

    When we met, neither of us knew anything about terms like domme, sub, and femdom. But something clicked and we ended up together - and I was a pretty big slut at the time. Monogomy was not a game I was particularly good at playing. She had a good job, and I frankly was a few years away from finding any real success...so my money certainly wasn’t a selling point.

    Fast forward to today - She knows that her true nature is a Domme, and I know my true nature is a submissive. I’m locked 24/7, always in service to her, and as she said - the game of Femdom is long gone, this is our life together. It just seems that with so many people struggling for partners in a femdom lifestyle, that odds of ours developing out of random happenstance would be very small indeed.

    Anyway, her answer to the question that she’s not 100 percent sure. It’s a compelling thought; and may well be true. It’s just very hard to know at this point (like almost 30 years later). So I thought I’d ask others about there experiences.
     
  2. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    I guess it's true to some extent, and that being together over such a long time, each of you has brought out some of the true nature of the other.
     
  3. Guest 3320
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    Guest 3320 New member

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    We just hinted at stuff early on, such as have you heard of chastity? and then the other was like yeah i have! and then we started off on this fun and winding path, I think yes you are right that people do have a true nature and its chance meetings with the right person that bring that out in people
     
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  4. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    Just a few personal thoughts (more about general relationships). I think that you sometimes meet someone and you have that initial "spark". Then you get together in a long term relationship. Of course no one stands still and you continue to develop as an individual and a couple. Along come children and the dynamic changes again, sometimes it either makes or breaks a relationship. Most just evolve and adapt to the new circumstances and enjoy this part of your life. Then the children go their way and it's just the 2 of you again. So you "rediscover" each other (or get divorced). Clearly you are both different people from when you first met. For us this is where chastity came in and we started to play. Mrs Chaste has a natural "matriarchal" tendency, not extreme but it's there. Like many men I have an inner 12 year old that needs "controlling" so this all dovetails together nicely. In our everyday life Mrs Chaste is generally "in charge" (with a smile). I don't know if either of us recognised either of these traits in each other when we first met, I don't think I did. It was clear Mrs Chaste liked to nurture which I liked. We have evolved to a mild FLR, apart from the chastity which is full on 24/7 and as close to 365 as we can get. If I wanted out it would spoil what we have and would certainly end our "lifestyle game". I wonder if we did give off "signals" to each other without knowing! Who knows! It's all worked out for the best in the end! Oh yes, and communication with each other is key!
     
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  5. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    Nice. This is very similar to our situation. Thanks for describing it so clearly.
     
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  6. Thomas Gangman
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    Thomas Gangman Long term member

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    I think we all evolve over time and end up where we feel the most comfortable. When we were younger and before we met, I had a thing for older married woman and enjoyed giving them the passion and numerous orgasms their husband didn't give them. My wife was a slut, she liked to fuck and enjoyed multiple partners at the same time, was bi, and loved being bad. She was into interracial sex before it became popular and was considered a size queen. We met and while we shared a girl or 2 together, the rest of her activities stopped. We married and started swinging and enjoyed the controlled variety of others.

    We decided to have kids and stopped all external activities and ended up with twins. Less than a year later we started swinging again and realized there was two much drama with the group and struck out on our own. She had a close GF before marriage and invited her and her husband to join us from time to time. We swapped partners for long weekends when the kids were with grandparents and when they decided to stop for starting a family, we decided to find a few friends to play with. My wife did keep up her friendship with her GF during the break with mine and her husband knowledge and 30 years later they are still playing together.

    At the age of 30 we tried swinging again and found the people to be petty and the experience unfulfilling. By chance we ran into 2 young guys (19) at the health club who helped us build an weight regimen. They were attending the local college and were former football player who gave up sports to concentrate on school. Both were over 6'5", all muscle, one withe the other black, and we found out later pretty well hung. About a month after meeting them, my wife was back at her size queen slut days except now I got to join in or watch her in action. A few times she even went away with them for long weekends and needed help showering and being put to bed on her return home. There were a couple of these trips where statistics of the debauchery were written on her back in marked and was shockingly impressive.

    This lasted about 3 years and stopped when the guys moved west except for once when she met them for a week vacation in the Caribbean. I was rewarded numerous times sharing her girl friend with her, so I did all right too. As our kids were now having a social life of their own, we spent more time together and while she did miss her slutty side, decided to focus all her attention on me and occasionally her GF.

    Now the kids headed off to school and she wanted to try new things. We went to the city and attended a BDSM club and found it interesting. One of her clients was a pro -Domme who invited us over and gave us some lessons. I was good as a mater and her a sub and we started to switch thing around. Eventually, the roles changed and I was the sub and her the Domme and after the kids graduated and moved to the west coast, built a dungeon in our basement. We even went back for more lessons and introduced her GF and her husband as well. Then we were introduced to chastity and been in the lifestyle blending BDSM into our routine. There are now 3 other couples in our inner circle and we are hoping for a rejoin this coming Memorial Day weekend, first time all together in a year.

    We have enjoyed our path together and have grown closer over the years. Our close friends are just like us and while the ladies get to share each other there is no swinging. Us guys are actually fine with that, we have trouble now a days satisfying one lady never mind more. If I have a regret, I would loved to be kept in my cage while my wife gets it on with another guy or guys. She has no interests in other men, ladies are okay, but while she enjoys my cock from time to time she doesn't want to bother with other guys.
     
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  7. slvdanielle
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    slvdanielle Long term member

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    your ass us beautiful are there plans for your other cheek? you are very lucky
    slvdanielle
     
  8. madams-sissysub
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    I have been in to kinks and bdsm since my early teens, and so had my madam. But nether of us were forward about it when we first met, it was only after a few months we started sharing and found out about each other.
     
  9. HusbandX
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    HusbandX Long term member

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    I know the same things today that I knew yesterday.

    I just know them differently.

    And I know less than I thought.
     
  10. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    For us, the seeds of what we were to become were there before we married. It just took a long time to get where we are. She denied her side because society expected a dutiful wife and I denied my side because society expects alpha males.

    It takes a while to overcome societal expectations and be brave enough to live as you are in your deeply guarded secret thoughts.
     
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  11. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    So true! We lived with and up to those expectations for our kids until they were out of the house. It's just in the last 4 1/2 years that we've reverted to what we both really wanted all along. She (my beautiful wife of 39 years/Kh of 4 1/2 years has wanted to take charge all along. I didn't realize it, but I wanted to let her take control as well. We're finally getting to that point, and we both love it!
     
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