Sheep

What that the thoughtless harmed only themselves.

 

Lol yup spot on.

It's never they ask ' what would you find pleasing mistress, is there any way I can prove myself worthy?'

 

Most men who message Me have a ''List of things to do before I die''
Im not interested,not even a tiny little bit in their lists.
Im not '' Secret Diary of a Call Girl''

 

Ive met men who admitted they trained a sub to ''do them''

 

I’m sure a gentleman wouldn’t be happy covering Your boots with spit and germs, Madame, but kissing the floor under Your feet instead, as a signal of respect and submission.

 

I’m submissive to MY Wife, and I’ve been submissive to partners before, and if they’ve wished it to others in certain circumstances, like at play parties, where they’ve been in charge of protecting my hard limits, however, I keep seeing people who say they’re submissive to ALL women and I wonder how weird their lives are..... or if they spent any time thinking about that at all. Seems to be more of a porn movie wish than a possible reality

 

Apparently they think all dommes are automatically sex workers whom you can pay to do your fantasy stuff..

 

This is a complicated issue for some of us who are poor and clumsy at connecting with women. A therapist once suggested that my crossdressing kink is related to being shy with women, but wanting to be close to them. I most certainly had a crossdressing kink long before I knew what kinks were or that other people felt the same way, let alone saw someone do it. I'm very lucky that I met my wife fairly early and was able to share these things with her. Over 20 years, we've "played" in different circumstances, and liked some of the things we've seen and not others. Sometimes we play with almost a manic frenzy, and other times, things have to go on the back burner for long stretches of times. 99.9% of the time we spend together isn't "sex" or part of a lifestyle, but I feel more connected when we are at least dabbling.

We've been fortunate to occasionally play with dominant women, some of them very experienced. Some of them similar to stereotypes, others not. Some times they have indulged request, and sometimes they have opened our minds. Sometimes I've endured things that I didn't think I would.

My Wife has been pretty damn clear that I will never get to enjoy another woman sexually besides participating in some kinky play (these are some of the only times I am actually locked up).

My emotional IQ women is not great, and I wish it were better, and better senses of how to connect with them. Sorry for the ramble.

 

How does she get involved in you crossdressing lifestyle or "play"? Congratulations on being brave enough to tell your therapist about what is going on. Most people would be to scared.

 

Kink friendly therapists can be really important. We have had a lot of different therapists, on and off for longer than we have been married. Most were at least tolerant and open minded enough to listen, but were vanilla themselves. Our current therapist is very open and suggests all kinds of things.

I wouldn't call my CD kink a lifestyle, it's sometimes, release, fun thing to do. Over an extended period of time, we've probably done most things people could imagine (shopped, dressed, rare public appearance, done things at clubs, etc.). I've dressed in front of female dominants.

 

L-u-c-y: really interesting question and one that I've spent some time thinking about. Obviously boot / shoe licking would qualify as 'fetishistic' behaviour. As I understand it, a fetish is where the object or practice being obsessed about or worshipped becomes the (sole) focus of sexual arousal - replacing that the actual sex act or the other partner involved.
Foot fetish (rather than shoes or boots - the covering for the feet) appears to be reasonably common. In history, slaves and captured soldiers were sometimes required to 'kiss the foot' of the conquering King as a sign of submission and an obvious act of abasement. According to the Bible Jesus washed the feet of poor people: to show that he did not feel himself to be higher or more important than them. To this day in the Catholic Church, Cardinals kiss the Pope's ring (!) as a sign of his authority and dominion over them. And I guess most of you know the origin of the term 'lip service' back in the Middle Ages ?
High-heeled stilettos and thigh-high, lace-up boots - usually black and shiny - are common tropes in FemDom books and films. I'm not exactly sure why, but the heels do make women taller, the heels clack and hips swing suggestively. I also think laces and buckles are redolent of bondage.
If FemDom is all about women being in control and men giving up power and being submissive then it would make sense for the man to want to be 'beneath' the women, to prostrate himself, with his face to the floor, before her. Kissing the foot, sucking her toes or licking her boots is just another symbol of his humiliation and submission.
Does it serve any purpose or make any sense ? Probably not: unless it is something your Mistress commands because that's what she wants.
The same could be said about any sexual practice other than PIV for the purpose of procreation. What's the point of anal, or oral of even masturbation cum to that ? However that only holds true if sex is purely and solely for procreation. As soon as it becomes recreational then the whole game changes and anything goes as long as it is 'safe, sane and consensual'.
I've been a member here for years and, it goes without saying, I'm a huge fan of male chastity and find it an enormous turn-on. However I also realise it has to be one of the most perverse if not perverted of all sexual kinks:
"So let's get this right: you get turned-on and sexually excited by locking your cock up in a cage and giving the key someone else, deliberately depriving yourself of the ability to orgasm or even get an erection ?" What's that all about ?
Of course I know all about delayed gratification (believe me, I know !). I also know it's about power-exchange and surrendering control: both powerful and exciting things. It's also about willingly giving your partner something incredibly important and valuable - the key to your cage, cock, and whole sex life.
And it don't get much fucking sexier than that !

 

Sure, that's a workable strategy (says the man whose sub wife is his KH). I know plenty of others who have gone down the same path.

But it's not a stable equilibrium. Either the sub decides that they are not getting what they signed up for. Or they decide that they like being in charge and the power dynamic inverts for real.

As the saying goes, be careful what you wish for! Because a guy with a chastity fetish can find themselves locked up for real!

 

Next time they ask, they can help us paint and move. And there is some electrical stuff to be done. If they really like to be dominated, we can always whip them.

 

We'll pay them with whippings

 

It gets extra creepy when the list is "Things to do just before I die"!!!! #38: Scream horribly and flail arms about wildly while wrestling a bear.

 

I’m not sure they are dominants mind, @L-u-c-y because that would involve some attempted mastery on their part of the interaction with you. I think it’s more likely they are immature neurotics who enthusiastically ask what you want from them with a sincere desire to please but unimaginatively assume that it must align with their own kinks and then they get an unwelcome surprise.

 

My wife has come to dominate me in a very organic way that only lately has evolved into orgasmic domination. Over time I have assumed cooking, laundry, and most household chores. I do this out of devotion to her. It is not sexual. She makes most of our economic decisions as well.

In the bedroom I have always put her pleasure first. My chastity device, orgasm denial and occasional pegging have only recently become a part of our life and has flowed from what was already FLR that I submitted to out of love, not out of fetish. Sometimes when I read posts from men on this sight, I feel their sexual fetish supersedes their devotion to their lady.

 

This reminds me of experiment they did with monkeys a few decades ago.

There was a comfortably large & entertaining enclosure for ~10 monkeys.
They were fed well, could play well, and overall seemed to enjoy the space provided.

There was one spot however that was the experimental point.
A ladder led to a bowl of food that if one of the monkeys climbed and ate from, would shock the other monkeys.
It took no time at all for the group members to recognize the cause & effect - so adapted their behavior to intercept any monkey attempting to climb the ladder.

Then, one monkey was rotated out and another sent in - this monkey learned soon enough to avoid the ladder.

Eventually, all the original monkeys had been replaced & the electric shocks had been deactivated - but the monkey behavior of not allowing anyone to climb the ladder continued.

The monkeys continued a behavior even though there was no need or benefit.

 

If I cut all of the things out of my life that had no obvious need or benefit, that would be a lot of things. I am immature, sometimes. I am definitely neurotic. Some of my trials have involved a lot of errors. The last thing I want is to be viewed as creepy, or expose somebody to a kink they want no part of.

Buuuut, with the patience of my Wife and a few other important people, my shame is held in check that I’ve tried connected a few times over things I thought I never would.

Kudos to all the subs out there that instinctually know what to do. That’s not me, but I’ve been fortunate to learn some things from some very open minded women.

 

You are spot on miss Lucy. It is a generic copycat line and I would not post it. It lacks emotion and commitment. I would only kiss the feet/boots of a mistress if I was ordered to do so as punishment. it is not a desire but maybe I'm not a true sub, I only submit out of reverence for the females in my life, they are beautiful goddesses and I wish to treat them as they deserve. I think there are things they would enjoy /appreciate much more than having boots licked

 

We started as a way to stop me looking at porn. lol it's not a dom thing for her at all. Then I started to wear it when it was her time of month. now I wear it when she ask she loves teasing. Usually at 1 week at a time I got the idea from watching a cuckold porn video but I bought it up when she caught me looking at porn, she hates it. That's us it's used more as a sex toy we really only have sex once a week before so it makes it's more fun also our sex life has gotten better since we started using it.
I joined this site to meet people who enjoy this thing that I enjoy so i can come up with ideas, also it's a turn on knowing that now people know.