Self Locking: How do you know when it is time?

Discussion in 'Online chastity and self locking' started by Unlucky, Aug 25, 2018.

  1. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Active Member

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    Without someone to tell you when you've earned it or they want you to do it, how do you know when you've earned it? If it is simply a matter of deciding that after enough time that you've earned it, how is that any different than just wanting it but just delaying it? Can you earn it on your own?

    I know a lot of people put it in the hands of chance and/or strangers, but that doesn't seem particularly meaningful to me.

    If I could set measurable goals, that would be nice, but I can't think of any. I don't need to lose weight. I have nothing in particular to save up for. What else is there?
     
  2. OscartheTurtle
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    Then simply set a date goal. 2 weeks, a month. And go.
     
  3. Living Curious
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    Living Curious Well-Known Member

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    Saying an orgasm should be earned might imply that chastity is all about the eventual orgasm, and orgasm is the pinnacle of sex. You could also consider that chastity can be simply about keeping the penis separate from sex, and enjoying/learning to enjoy sex without involving the penis, or perhaps without involving the unlocked penis. It's a matter of perspective and not fixating on penile orgasm can be very, very rewarding.
     
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  4. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Active Member

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    "Every thing hath ende" (Chaucer. Troilus and Criseyde. 3.615)

    I'm self locking at the moment. There is a limit to how much I can explore on my own in the realm of sex, especially non-penile focused.

    If I were fixated on penile orgasms, I wouldn't be locking myself.
     
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  5. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Well-Known Member

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    Here are a couple of pictorial suggestions for when it's the right time to self-unlock...

    050.every.chastity.lockup.period.jpg
    chastity.plan.jpg
     
  6. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Active Member

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    I try to avoid making life decisions based on things someone would likely find on Tumblr.

    Barring some brilliant idea, I'll just try to wait for a meaningful experience with a woman. That could be a while, but I'll survive.
     
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  7. freakyfreaks1989
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    freakyfreaks1989 New Member

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    You could always put your key in one of those kitchen safes that are meant to lock up food for a set amount of time. That way, you kind of force yourself to stay locked. I think the maximum is 10 days.
     
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  8. Joey love
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    Joey love Active Member

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    Why not just make a meaningful experience with a woman your goal.
     
  9. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Well-Known Member

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    Longer each time.
     
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  10. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    As something to tr for yourself. See how long you can go before it goes off on its own.
    Then try and beat that
    If you allow yourself sufficient stimulation of what ever kind works for you
    then you can induce some leakage just pre-cum or chastity tears as is often called
    this if you do it regularly before you feel the NEED can relieve the need to cum and just leave the more manageable / desireable.... desire to cum. Which helps prevent accidents without the drop or the loss of control. albeit self-control in your case.

    Milking will/can produce the same effect but seems to me at times to require a lot more effort.
     
  11. Breathe
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    Breathe Wife, Owner, Dom/me, and KH of _and_smile

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    Surely there are ways in which you know you can improve.

    What might those be?
     
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  12. Joey love
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    Joey love Active Member

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    I decided to give myself a 5lb weight loss goal
    Unfortunately I like being locked up so I keep hitting the ice cream- -1lb this month
    Could be in for a long stretch
     
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  13. DenialIsTheNewOrgasm
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    As a fellow self-locker, I think that is a very good question!

    I normally try to beat my previous record. So far, I always took off the cage once it really hurt eg red, sore skin, pain. That usually happens after 10 days of continuous wear but hope it gets better.

    Another problem I have is that once I cum, I'm not anymore interested in chastity play and cum 3-4 times in a row for a few day
     
  14. Joey love
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    Joey love Active Member

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    I do agree with you as far as always trying to beat previous record locked but barring any health issues I want to get back in a little quicker. Maybe just a 24hr window to do as I please. I still have 3lbs to lose before I cross that bridge
     
  15. MrMartini
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    MrMartini New Member

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    Being newly locked I find the topic timely. When I locked myself 2 days ago my only focus was to be locked. Never gave a thought to how long. Honestly, I don’t know if I want to think about removing it right now. But when I do, I want to tie it to a goal.
     
  16. Joey love
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    Joey love Active Member

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    The original goal for this lockdown was 15 days- passing the previous record, I got to that day and set a new goal of losing a few pounds. I’ve actually started to take that goal a bit more seriously. When we get there we’ll see.
    The nice (or bad) thing is there’s no rules to your timeline.
     
  17. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Active Member

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    There are lots of ways I could improve as a person, but few measurable. For example, I'm a pessimist. I could and should work on that, but there aren't really any milestones on the road to self delusion.
     
  18. Breathe
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    Breathe Wife, Owner, Dom/me, and KH of _and_smile

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    You might be surprised, with a little effort. ;) Pet was rather pessimistic when we met. Of course, it's a part of his personality and I wouldn't change that for anything as it creates a distinct sense of humor. Looking at certain parts of life with a different lens, however, can make all the difference in being able to feel the (healthy) effects of positivity.

    Perhaps you could satiate your need for data by measuring the steps you take while finding silver linings of life - whatever that might mean to you. You can still be a realist while improving your outlook.
     
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