This is a long winded note, I hope it helps to give you context. My wife and loving dominant partner of 43 years were probably always in a FLR, we just didn't know it and struggled with power exchanges constantly. We formally recognized our FLR about 3 years ago and I surrendered to her. In February of this year I started practicing honor system chastity and told her. (Suggesting hardware is a non starter for her at this time.) I have been "mentally" locked up and we haven't had sex since mid August. I've had several learnings while abstinent and she sees and feels the benefits of male chastity. Last night she told me she loves everything about where we are, she loves being in a wife led marriage and has started feeling more empowered to be the dominant partner. She loves what I do domestically for us. (Cooking, cleaning, chores, grocery shopping, etc. I've discovered I have a service kink that has come out stronger while abstinent.) Here's the however part: She said lately she's feeling a bit smothered by all the attention I give her. She didn't want hurt my feelings, but she needed to tell me how she feels. Being retired doesn't help as we spend a lot more time together. Like George Costanza in Seinfeld, I'm the "master of my domain". I like the energy, my thought clarity, and doing whatever I can to please my wife while abstinent, maybe too much. Finally the question: - how do you balance your desire to please with the needs and wants of your partner while locked? Do you go overboard with attention or Dommes do you at times feel smothered? I'm a bit embarrassed even asking given how long we've been together. But we changed our dynamic in the last 3 years, it's evolving and this is newer territory for me. Looking for perspective from this wonderful group. Thanks!
Do you have hobbies or sports or other things you do for yourself? I try to get a few hours a day away that way which makes the always-together dynamic less smothering.
You could always try and make it part of the kink by having her give you an attention time out. Exactly how and what that entails is something the two of you could work out. Whether you’re tasked with things to do away from her, confined to certain rooms or a room of the house for X amount of time so she can have time to herself, maybe it’s quiet time for you, no speaking to her unless summoned etc. There are many many options the two you could consider and set up the parameters that work for both of you. And of course, for you, this becomes kinky as it’s her rules that you must obey. This chastity thing can turn so many boring and mundane things into erotic things that drive your submission and lust for your Wife. Great fun!
Simple, I anticipate nothing. She loves control, I only do what I’m told (that includes standing orders). Unless I feel like being a brat (which she loves), but there are consequences.
A women needs a man Like a bicycle needs a fish - bono WE shouldn't underestimate just how annoying men are. We're a lot less interesting to look at no matter how much we work out, we smell worse and never mature fully due to our egos. I would buy an hawaiian shirt and a medallion if you haven't already. Women fear that and parking... but she will respect you.
you have to do what She tell you. my Mistress is out a lot in the daytime but sometimes when She comes home i do what She say is smother Her so i stop doing it and get on with my work in the house and only go to Her when She says it ok to.