Hey guys. New member here, this has probably been asked a thousand times. Sorry if it has. Me and my partner are fairly new to chastity. Shes loving having me locked up at the moment. She’s not naturally dominant, I was wondering as time goes on is she likely to adopt some dominant traits? Is there anything I can do to lead her that way? Obviously don’t want to make her do anything she doesn’t want to. Sam
Start doing alot more for her. Offer to get her drinks and things. Massage her feet after a long stressful day. Offer back rubs. Start thanking her or saying how much you enjoy doing these things afterwards. Anything else you can think of to make her days easier. Unfortunately it's a very long and slow progress. Tho I'm sure you will find yourself being bossed about before you know it. Enjoy the ride.
Thank you for your reply, already doing as mentioned above. She loves a foot massage and I have a thing for feet so that works well. I’ll carry on and see where it leads
Time will tell. Be patient. Developing her dominant traits depends a lot on you. Are you genuine about serving her, or are you just looking for kink? Are you letting her lead? Really lead? Do you compliment her on the things she does, or tell her about the things she can do better? Are you doing what you said you would do, or do you whine and complain? Do you rush her to fit into your fantasy, or let her proceed at her own pace? Are you helping her build her self confidence, or do you criticize her for not doing more? I think you get the idea. If you want this life, it is worth doing it right. When both partners embrace and enjoy it, it can be very satisfying and rewarding.
I just mentioned something similar to this in another thread. I as most people have a different dynamic in our marriage. She has always been a top and I a bottom. When chastity was enforced it seemed natural. Then when we decided to live a FLR she did seek out guidance and i only helped as she requested. I found and gave her some literature by Melisa Rudder. She read it all i think. LOL but it gave her a lot of direction on which way she wanted our marriage to go. The more we lived that lifestyle the more empowered she became. She had me pierced then circumsized. I have my chores i keep up with and she adds to them as she sees fit. I have not masterbated in years and not cum in 146 days. I am better for it which in turn has made me better for her. As i say our marriage is not the same as any others and every ones is different. Offering books may help as well as asking her what her expectations are. Not being pushy is key i think though. If she decides she is a Queen and you are the sub remember your position and stick to it. I know i do. I don't care for the consequences.
I agree a lot with what Trapped and Landladvein wrote. I experienced a few things: - give her as much room and time as possible: Her feminine nature will blossom and you will directly benefit from it. But it may take time and it needs to be genuine from you and from her. - be open, have no expectations. The outcome will most likely be different from what you have been thinking about in the first place, - once she embarks on her journey, you may share the research you have made for her to choose what she feels inclined to, without imposing yours. … this is at least what we experience and led to the dominant version of my Lady Partner!
Is she good with money matters? Once she holds the purse strings, you better lick her good and proper for every dime… Financial surrender is the next total devotion a man can sacrifice …besides his penis. I co-named my wife for properties, bank accounts, insurance beneficiary, pension funds and vehicles. I only wholly own a motorcycle as she doesnt have a license. If she decides to call it a day, i will have nothing other than the cage over the penis. i have to look for signs of displeasure, disapproval and her state of mind before asking her for any extra budget besides what that has been apportionated usually. I stay home, she brings back the bacon. She decides our holiday destination, kitchen budget, new paint colours of the house, renewal of my gym membership and .. that my cock should never erect again. i better lick her good and proper tonite.
long before i decided to assume a dominant role i asked myself where do i see myself in the next 5, 10, 20 and 40 years. then i asked myself if pigs could fly how would i change that for the better and what was i willing to do to make it happen. i realized what seem to be expected of me and i was willing to settle for was no where close to where i really wanted to be. i worked hard on myself first a then changed my home and finally our lifestyle. what i can tell you is if my puck had waited on me hand and foot trying to serve me to the best of his ability i would have never assumed the dominate role. i might have placated his fantasy to continue being pampered. that would be the easiest path but the least rewarding and never reaching my full potential. being challenged often helps us do our best. catering to our weaknesses rarely produces strength of character.
I have been trying to lead my wife into it for a few years. I paint her nails, massage her feet, back and scalp. Wax her underarms and legs. But since she now works from home, I have learned to ask her how her day went and really listen and reply. I think communication is key. She is enjoying her place in this process and is taking more advantage of it every day. Never thought that the most intimate time of my life would be at 64 years old.