ON BEING SUBMISSIVE

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Xileh, Mar 10, 2020.

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  1. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    #1 Xileh, Mar 10, 2020
    I have only recently realized that I am a true service submissive.

    And, I have struggled with that realization.

    Am I really that weak?

    In my life, I am a leader. I am the go to guy. I propose big projects. I solve problems. I motivate others. I build teams, acquire consensus, I build and create. I succeed when many others fail. Quality is all important to me. I take pride in honesty.

    I have been accused of being a “soft” leader. Too empathetic. Yet, I can motivate people by helping them understand it is something they want, rather than what I want. It only seems soft. It is amazing what can be accomplished when people want to achieve.

    I thrive on relationships. I am most comfortable when I know the boundaries of a relationship.

    In the context of the relationship with my wife, I am choosing to follow rather than lead. I want to serve and please. When she chooses to lead, it feels as if the boundaries are defined. There is clarity.

    With clarity, I have learned patience. Rather than trying to direct her in developing her already present dominance, I have helped her to develop and recognize her own strength. With her emerging confidence, she is accepting her sexuality and expecting more. And, her confidence is expanding beyond our relationship. It is amazing to witness.

    My realization, is that I am not a weak male for admitting I am submissive. I feel I have discovered a new layer of my personality that is now allowing me to emerge stronger and be more complete.

    I accept myself in my new role. I am a better man.
     
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  2. SheMastersMyDomain
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    SheMastersMyDomain In continuous chastity since 1/1/19

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    #2 SheMastersMyDomain, Mar 10, 2020
    Thanks for such a wonderful post. I can identify with much of it. I too am going through realizations and feelings of submissiveness. We are exploring the boundaries of that. It feels wonderful and fulfilling to be able to understand and accept this about ourselves.
     
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  3. John
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    #3 John, Mar 10, 2020
    Don't think it's about weakness more about getting balance when having responsible professionally it's nice not to lead privately just let go. Let her make the rules set the limits.
     
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    PeturKitty 58 Long term member

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    #4 PeturKitty 58, Mar 10, 2020
    I think being submissive has little to do with being weak. I'm also sure your wife doesn't look at you that way either. It took a lot of courage to share your desire to be her submissive. It also shows how much you deeply love her by not pushing and allowing her dominance to develop on its own. Good luck and best wishes to you both.
     
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    #5 Kylara, Mar 10, 2020
    No, you are not weak, I feel a lot the same as you, I am a submissive servant but my waife want an obediant and strong lover.
    A man that she can rely on, that work and protect her but that also is her lover for her pleasure,
    that takes care of her child, that is a mastercook and the one who entertrain her.

    In fact submissive, obediand but not weak. A Knight that makes her a queen and have a easier life in all case.
    So, no all sub are not weak, being a sub is far more complex.

    On an other point I would say that being a sub helps me to get rid of my male toxicity, competition to other males and so; no I don't care anymore if my neighbourg has a bigger car, if another man have sex with my wife but I care if she lack respect for her and if my daughter has school problems.

    And she what my wife like and need.
     
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    #6 Guest 0388, Mar 10, 2020
    I think it takes a hell of a lot of strength to be vulnerable and to refrain from one of the most primal urges we have as men. Mindless masturbation, obsession with self-gratification, and not directing all of your sexual energy to your significant other is weakness.
     
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    #7 locked_top, Mar 11, 2020
    great thread
     
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    #8 Jail Bird, Mar 11, 2020
    I feel the same way. Great thread.

    I'm also a go to guy. Lead others, and run my own company. I do all that in lace panties that my wife lays out for me and a chastity belt she locks on me 24/7 to remind me of my submissive self. I could not be happier. I only wish I would have started this many years ago!
    It just feels so natural to be a submissive to my wife. :)
     
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    #9 LockedN8, Mar 11, 2020
    Accepting my sexual submissiveness has actually made me stronger and more confident. If submissiveness is the right role for you then I'm sure you will feel the same.
     
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    #10 Mojoman, Mar 11, 2020
    I too have struggled to accept myself as a submissive man. We are brought up to be strong and assertive and to "be a man". I am also happy to have that role outside of my relationship, in my business and social life.... no problem. However, I know how I like to be once out of sight of our society pressures and that is submissive and obedient to my partner. I once felt weak and "unmanly" because of this, but I am now very happy with who I am.

    I am now in the process of getting my partner to understand and accept this. It isn't easy for her to overcome her upbringing and her expectations of how I should be, but we are making progress on this. Many women would simply reject this idea as being weird, so I do feel very lucky to be with someone who is open-minded and I realise that not all submissive men are so fortunate.

    We have found ways for me to be submissive without her having to be all that dominant, perhaps by her being just a bit more assertive than she is used to. I don't feel weak or unmanly at all.
     
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    #11 Guest 0938, Mar 12, 2020
    Great post and great opening and awakening.

    i have never considered being a service submissive a weakness, on the contrary. It makes me happy and brings out my best self
     
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  12. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    #12 Xileh, Mar 12, 2020
    Now that I have adjusted to my service, I no longer consider myself weak.

    It was just my first reaction to the realization.

    I can’t speak to other forms of submissiveness, but I find being a service submissive is very hard work. It requires a lot of planning and expenditure of effort to do well.

    I have learned to listen, to absolutely not interrupt, to anticipate, to plan, to be humble, seek input, and to accept critique. When a man can do those things successfully, he I think he is stronger than most.

    I find it interesting that these are also qualities found in successful leaders.

    I now like to think that I am a stronger person, and a better man - at least according to my definition. I am most certainly a better partner. I think that is what counts.
     
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  13. asastype
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    asastype Service sub to Mistress AMA

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    #13 asastype, Mar 12, 2020
    Great thread, everyone.

    I strongly identify as a service submissive and work to make my Keyholder Wife's life easy in any way i can. Cleaning, serving and doing nearly all the chores gets me feeling very subbie and frees up Her time to focus on things She wants to do.

    Recently, She's started loaning me out to detail a Friend's car, which we all love. Mistress gets to demonstrate Her dominance, Her Friend gets a cleaned car every month, and i get my submission stoked.

    Keep up the good work!

    asa
     
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  14. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    #14 Xileh, Mar 13, 2020
    Yes, I detail her friend’s car. It takes me about eight hours to complete the engine, interior, clay, and polish, and ceramic coat the exterior. Her friend cried the first time she saw it.
     
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  15. BR_Saiph
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    BR_Saiph Self-published author

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    #15 BR_Saiph, Mar 17, 2020
    Wonderful post! ( And I love the other one about you detailing her friends car!)
    Once you can let go and trust her to lead and keep you safe, the fun really begins ( listen to me eh, like I don't struggle at times!)
     
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  16. madams-sissysub
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    #16 madams-sissysub, Mar 22, 2020
    Totally agree, I always knew I was submissive, accepting it and being open about it was such a release!
     
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  17. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    #17 Xileh, Mar 23, 2020
    It has been interesting. As I have begun to accept my submissiveness, She is also beginning to accept her dominance. In her career, she was occasionally called out for being too strong. So she bottled it up. Now, she is beginning to accept her strength just as I am accepting my submissiveness. It is like we are both filling in the last piece of the puzzle. And, as you mentioned, it IS a release.
     
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    Cincy Long term member

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    #18 Cincy, Mar 25, 2020
    My wife is not real dominant but she has accepted the fact that I am her submissive and she enjoys that role for me.
     
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  19. Melissa34D
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    #19 Melissa34D, Mar 26, 2020
    My submissive started wearing a steel cock cage a week ago. I ordered it for him and when it came I told him he'd wear it regularly unless I decided otherwise but that I would let him out once a week to cum. The first time I ordered him to put the cockring on himself which he obediently did because he knew any opposition would mean the strap. After it was on I had him lay on the bed and I put his wrists and ankles in restraints so that his legs were spread. Getting the cage on was easy. I got him a little hard and then put KY on his cock. It slid into the cage and I locked it. He has worn it since. He found it a little difficult sleeping with it at first but that worked out. I have him in diapers and plastic panties at night and sometimes doing the day. When not he has worn nylon panties, brief style. I took him to my girlfriend's the second day in because she wanted to see what it looked like. When I take him out he is either on a leash attached to his collar or I have him in a harness with reins. That day I had him on the leash. I also put him in handcuffs sometimes when we go out. I did that day to impress my girlfriend. When we got to her house I unlocked the cuffs and took the waist chain off so he could undo his pants. He was wearing thin white pants that you could see through so you could see his panties. Anyway, he took the pants off and then I told him to pull the panties down and show her his cock. She was handling his cock in the steel and noticed that he was getting hard. She asked him what it felt like and he admitted that even though he had only been in the cage two days he found himself getting hard and straining against the steel. She liked the idea and told me she was going to make her own boy-toy seat wearing a cage.
     
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  20. Mojoman
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    Mojoman Long term member

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    #20 Mojoman, Mar 26, 2020
    @Melissa34D Are you sure that you're not getting reality and fantasy confused?
     
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  21. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    #21 Xileh, Mar 26, 2020
    Your last post said he was wearing one in 2018. Perhaps this would be more appropriate in the fiction forum.
     
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    #22 Guest 8028, Mar 27, 2020
    That’s the case here as well!
     
  23. WWD
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    #23 WWD, May 6, 2020
    Great post! The comments have been enlightening as well. I would say I was a traditional alpha male, maybe still am to a degree until this past September. I submitted to my wife and we have been in a FLR since. My wife is not overtly dominant but she loves the attention I lavish on her and has enjoyed me picking up more of the household chores. I feel no less masculine because of it and look at my role as being one of lightening her load/easing her burden as much as I can.
     
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    #24 njcuckold, May 6, 2020
    I really like the term "service submissive ". Its a perfect description of me.
     
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    #25 MissyB, May 7, 2020
    This is an interesting thread and take on submissiveness. I can see how each of you feel about it, share some things, but differ in others. I think at one time i wanted to be more of a sexual submissive, and still might be at times, but I think I'm better suited to be one of the service variety. Thanks for sharing.
     
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