Not letting my husband see me naked

M has already done this. She changes in the closet with the door closed, comes out in a robe, and has me turn the light off before she takes it off. She is not super strict. I sometimes bring her an “important message” while she is in the shower and she enjoys my creative blinding of the rules and the demonstration that I find her sexy.

 

Whatever two people agree on for acceptable behavior is always fine, and I can see it bringing back the thrill of nudity.

For us it would be silly. One, she sleeps naked. So either she would have to tell me to look away or one of us would have to exit the room when going to bed or getting out of it. This would be work and a hassle for her.

Two, she doesn’t make nudity a sexual thing, so it rarely is one. For example she just gets naked and gets in bed. There is no seductive stripping, in fact I can’t remember if I’ve ever even taken off her clothes, she does that herself. She turned nudity into a far more casual and non sexual state, and although her image turns me on, it isn’t sexual until she is making it so.

Three, whatever amount of frustration I do get from being able to look but not fuck...um hello it’s chastity, so it is a bonus for her. It’s like teasing but without any effort whatsoever.

All that being said there are aspects of removing the eye candy like creating a thrill from getting to undress her when she allows it. I do kind of miss that, I haven’t pealed off her undies to reveal that glorious site like ...ever. I suppose it’s like lingerie, the packaging hides the mystery.

As far as groping, my wife adores it. She loves the attention, the cuddling, the non threatening kisses, and making out. It goes nowhere unless she takes it further and can say that I honestly pester her less, because before there was always a chance I could manipulate my way into her participating. Locked, I have a pretty firm grip on when it’s not going to happen and ease up when I think it’s time. Most of the time she just says how good it feels as I kiss her neck and back and she drifts off to sleep feeling content and loved.

 

I missed the part where the direct and honest communication happened. You informed him clearly and specifically that his leering/touching bothered you, but he kept it up so you withdrew? I'm trying to understand, and this point makes all the difference in the world.

 

Strange, I never had that particular problem. On the contrary, my wife loved the attention I gave her body. It was almost a standing order to find her the nicest and most tantallizing outfits whether in latex, leather or normal material. She was so pleased one day when I presented her a boots/pants unit (that is boots and hose as one piece. I have never seen that for sale since) in very soft black leather that I was allowed, read obliged, to polish it whilst she wore till it shone. I was rewarded with an extra week chastity.

 

My wife does not allow me to see her naked as well. Nor does she allow me intercourse. In fact, she more or less ties the two acts together. Since I am chaste and she deems it no longer "proper" for her to have intercourse with me, she similarly sees it as improper that I would see her naked.

This does not mean, on the other hand, that I am denied all forms of intimate contact with you. I am free to massage, cuddle, hug, caress, etc. She particularly likes it when I massage her breasts. And for her vagina, I am not allowed to touch it in any sort of masculine way (such as sticking ANYTHING into it). When the mood suits her, I am allowed to lick her and kiss her "down there". Such a treat, I'll tell you.

 

Agreed. And missing from OP.

 

She was saying that the action described in the OP is clear communication.

Why do some guys seem to think that visual access to her body is something they can negotiate?

 

he agreed to Her being in charge. his only option is to accept any fate She decides is appropriate.

 

If behavior change was the point, then clear AND DIRECT communication is the first step. I'm just pointing out that this step appears to be missing from the original description of events. I'm not accusing, not blaming, not harassing, not getting upset. Just wondering if a step was left out of the description.

Some guys may. I don't. One-way communication of how she feels and what she expects is not negotiation. It's information he can use to change his behavior. Not sure how negotiation came out of my question.

She can decide anything she likes, and he seems to have agreed to accept her decision. Clear and direct communication transfers her decision clearly and directly (effectively and efficiently) so that he can accept it and change his behavior.

The only thing I'm wondering about is how her decision was communicated. Did she just tell him to knock it off? Seems like that approach might work.

 

It came from this:

Maybe I'm misinterpreting, but it seems like you are reserving judgment about whether or not she overstepped her authority until you hear if she gave him a chance to change his behavior prior to refusing him her nudity. I'm just saying that even in a vanilla relationship, she has the right to hide her body for any reason and without explanation.

 

I fully understand what a FLR is, I don't agree with it as I feel that a relationship should be joint. Thats just me. I also understand that there are an infinite number of variations in relationships that work. I just know that when my wife went through a stage where I felt she was out of control and not communicating well I changed up our relationship and that brought her to the table and we were able reestablish communication. If she is doing this unilaterally and he finds it unacceptable, then they need to sit down and discuss.

 

Just so it's clear, this is literally the FLR forum. So not agreeing to it for yourself is obviously a personal decision. Presumably OP's husband has agreed to flr in principle at some point.

Even a normal vanilla relationship, where there is no power exchange, don't you think that a person has the right to not be seen nude, if they choose? Why should this be a point of negotiation? I understand personal limits, but normally limits involve what someone else can do to you. For me, I don't want any sexual situations involving other men. Some people don't like butt stuff. The only hard limit I have on her behavior is that she remain faithful. I can't imagine that I would argue that because I didn't agree to it ahead of time that she has to let me see her naked. Where does it end? How often is enough? Do you require to see her nude every day, or is less often okay? How about some light groping? I'm trying to understand the limits you want to place on her body.

 

I assume you meant to add “unless he changes his mind”? In saying that, I realise that may bring the relationship to an end, but he may decide that is the lesser of two evils, right? It’s this “only option” thing that I challenge. I don’t see any contradiction between my point and female leadership. After all, if he decides that this is the mark of bad female leadership, he should make that clear by way of communication and act accordingly in my view. There will be better female leaders he may wish to enter into a relationship with.

 

Every couple is different, but my wife thought me early on that glaring at her when nude is a rule breaker . We sleep in the nude every night . So I get to see my woman in the nude . Until I was trained not to glare . I got a few very long paddlings and was made sure I knew why I was getting paddled .

 

You are. I asked a question: Did she communicate clearly and directly with him?

I haven't addressed authority in any way.

Nothing in my question contests her right to be nude, not be nude, ask him to leave, whatever. That's entirely up to her. It has no bearing on my question.

Why is this so volatile? There's no attack happening here. Deep breaths, everyone!

 

Me and my wife/Miss both love this. She says though she loves the attention from me and knowing that it's teasing me. From now in though when she's had enough and what she wants I'll be sent out to finish my chores

 

I did not see any problem with the original post. A woman is allowed to modulate intimate interactions with others, including her husband or significant other.

It seems to me that the push back is getting at the crux of the general position that a man can take what he wants, and this challenges that in a major way.

I just see this as a way that @MsTara asserts control over her husband.

 

So i commented on this after i read the original post then went back and read some of the other comments and tbh I'm quite disappointed by some of them. To me this is one of 2 places where i can talk freely about my "fetishes" (the other obviously being at home with my wife) what we do as a couple is up to us @MsTara didn't ask a question nor did she ask for permission from anyone she was just clearly telling us a part of their lives. If you don't agree with it you really don't need to comment.
Well done to @MsTara and your husband i hope you both keep trying new things and sharing your experiences with us. My wife loves reading these kind of posts and says "it's always good to hear new ways on how to tease and deny you"

 

IMHO - it appears that male entitlement is so ingrained that many here do actually believe they have a right to see their wives in the nude. Let's try flipping this around...…..does a woman have a right to privacy?

 

Sometimes those make the best threads.

In all seriousness thank you for sharing your story. This is what I enjoy most about CM, hearing what other people are doing. It's not like I can start up a conversation with a buddy over a beer. I can just see how that would go. "Does your wife stop at simply locking up your penis and denying you orgasms? Or does she take it farther?"

 

I agree with the basic thrust of this, namely, “form your own view, and act accordingly”. My point above (and it is not directed at this couple or particular aspect of their relationship-I have no reason to doubt they are happy together) is that one can arrive at one’s own view by changing one’s mind.

Particularly in the context of CM, which I take to be a place where the excesses of male sexuality are tamed, it seems to me to be important to remind males that they can change their mind, especially where to do so contradicts what their sexual instincts might be urging them to do.

 

This entire thread suffers from too much quibbling over someone else's relationship. It is like when parents judge someone else's parenting. Just stop. I don't think that is what CM should be about.

I think it is interesting she has used her female dominance to shape how she wants her husband to behave. Good for her. And I don't think her chaste husband was all that bad. He just needed her guidance, and she gave it.

My wife doesn't let me see her naked, but she does want me to grope and touch her often. Lucky me.

 

Thank you so much for answering my question, @MsTara! That really helps to clarify the situation for me.

Fantastic! And congratulations to you both. It's always great to learn about how people work things out in real life. It's not easy. I appreciate you sharing your experiences.