mikecb's journey

Hi gang,

I don't know if I'll post to a thread here often or not, but I thought I'd start one and see if the mood overtakes me.

As I mentioned in my "intro" post, my Wife is pretty vanilla, and I'm a total perv. I made the mistake of falling in love before I really understood my kinky side. Silly me!

We've been together 20+ years and our sex life is basically non-existent. We love each other, but sex has fallen by the wayside. She has lost her libido, while mine rages as ever, and my kinky side goes completely unsatisfied.

Ugh.. lol. She just woke up, and it's time for breakfast. More later...

 

Ahh, where was I? lol.

Ahh, so I've been interested in chastity first and foremost, but that led to more of an interest in BDSM. I met some online friends via a chastity IRC channel years ago, which led to my Wife and I going to our first BDSM play party. My Wife as intrigued. She was most interested in the dress-up aspects, I think. She loves to go shopping for Domme clothes in the goth shops, although she has little interest in BDSM play at home. Instead, we went to a few play parties, and my online friends flogged me while she watched. We all tried to teach her a little bit, but it remains something that just doesn't capture her imagination.

Meanwhile, Chastity play has remained something I've wanted to do. Like the protagonist in my "Progressive" story, I long to be a belted sex slave to a Domme. It's been a fantasy that's been with me for as long as I can remember.

So, I've dabbled in a few chastity devices. I bought a cb2k and cb3k. I could pull out of either trivially. I got a frenum and PA over the years, both of which migrated. I got discouraged and sort of gave up on it for a while. I tried to put thoughts of a kinky lifestyle and chastity out of my head, since it wasn't working out and just causing frustration both personally, and between my wife and I. Well, that didn't work either.

A few months ago, I resolved I was going to renew my efforts toward a chastity-belted lifestyle. More later. I'm home from work this week, working on some remodeling projects, and break time is over! hehe.

 

OK, we made some good progress on the shower stall replacement project. I can goof off and complete this. lol.

Anyway, I've wanted to be belted for SO long, I felt I HAD to do something, or I'd go crazy. So I set out a five year plan. I'm kinda anal about planning (sometimes), and somehow, this really got me motivated. The plan is really rather simple. First, each year I will TRY to do something reasonable to achieve the ability to be belted 24/7. This year, it's another attempt at a PA. Next year would probably be the same, though at the moment my PA is healing quite nicely (4 weeks old now). Down the road, if that doesn't work, I'd probably try ordering a Neosteel. Even the threads about hypnosis caught my eye as an option. I'm very active at the gym, so a Neosteel would have its problems. My Lori tube, or hypnosis strike me as the most viable options.

Once I get the ability to wear a device 24/7, my plan is to do so. I'll be under my own control, of course, but I want to break myself in to a device for full time wear. Once I can wear a device 24/7, I plan to do so for the duration of my 5 year "grand experiement", granting myself releases as I go, of course. If at the end of 5 years, I'm sick of it, well, at least I'll have done something about my fantasies, rather than just dreamed.

Meanwhile, as I wait for a device that works, I've decided to do two things. First, no matter what device I wear, I'll end up setting to pee. So, I decided, I'll just start doing that now. It's just a constant daily reminder of my goals. Second, I won't masturbate daily, as has been my fashion for most of my life. Instead, I'll regulate my orgasms by one game or another. It may be random, or something else, but I just won't have free access to orgasms any more.

Just those few little "resolutions" have scratched the "kinky" itch for me, even though my wife isn't participating in it at all. In fact, I haven't even talked to her about it. I doubt it would interest her.

I've also got some "endurance" chastity games planned. A three month stint this year, four months next year, then five, then six. My final year would be a full year of chastity, if I don't have a keyholder at that point.

If I should get to the point of 24/7 wear again, I'll address the issue of keyholding with my wife again. The first time we tried, she felt pressured and ended up just sticking the keys on a hook by the front door. Not exactly my fantasy. Still, even if I can't get her to be the FemDom I'd love her to be, having her hold the keys to restrict my orgasms would be better than nothing. I might hope to just tell her to hold the keys for a certain time, and if I whine or complain, then just give them back and we won't "play". If she takes to it, who knows?!? If she doesn't, I'd probably just build myself a timed keysafe.

Anyway, that's the plan, unless her absent libido finds it's way home. I wish I had that problem! lol.

Well, enough for now. Perhaps I'll write about the end of my 3 month "stint" in a future blog. It was certainly an orgasm (or two, or three) to remember.

 

Well, when you've wanted something for most of 45 years, taking 5 years to try and build up to experiencing and enjoying it doesn't seem so hard.

Part if it is also just a practical matter. I know I want to give an "honest effort" to chastity through piercings. They take time to heal. If one fails, it takes time to heal before trying again. Given that I have not had a single piercing (aside from my ear) "take" on the first try, it seems prudent to assume that it'll take a few more tries with my PA.

Still, there is some hope already! I'm over 4 weeks with this PA, and it's healing marvelously. Honestly, it feels as well healed as my nipples already. They took TWO YEARS to heal! I'm SO psyched about it! I'll need to stretch from 12ga to 10ga, because that's the size of the pin in my Lori tube. I'm going to (struggle to) be patient, and wait at least another month before stretching to 10ga. I don't want to blow it because I rushed the healing process.

 

TMI ahead!

Having wrapped up a bathroom remodeling project at about 12:20AM, with my Wife off safely to bed, I could think of nothing better to do than grab the enormous butt-plug I'd been daydreaming about for a week or more, lube it up, and try once again to put it where no man has gone before.

Now, I had tried and failed with this plug many times in the past. It's not huge. It's about 1 1/2" in diameter. That doesn't sound huge. To make it sound huge, I just measured the circumference = 5 1/4". That seems enormous to my inexperienced "south entrance". It's also about 5" long. I have a much narrower plug that is about that long. I know it's not the length, it's the girth that I haven't been able to manage! I'll also add that it's made of a very pliable material, that will compress and stretch up near the top, but the last 3/4" (just before it tapers back down) is much more solid and unforgiving. It's at that juncture that I've failed in the past.

I slathered it generously with vaseline, and worked it in. At around the 1/2 to 3/4 mark, it pressed against my prostate deliciously. Let me add that given my interest in Chastity and long term denial, that it has been about 3 weeks since my last "satisfaction" in this regard. Rubbing the prostate causes this singular sensation where it feels like I'm about to climax, while I am otherwise flacid (and frankly, rather distracted by this thing tearing my anus in two!). If that sucker had a vibration feature, I'm sure I could have achieved that "prostate milking" I've heard so much about, without so much as touching the family jewels.

I pushed and shoved, but at around the same place as before, with about 3/4" to go, I could just go no further. I began to experience that sensation of trying to pass the result of 3 long days of constipation. It was near impossible to fight the protective response of pulling it back out.

I kneel there, squatting on the bathroom floor, sweating and puffing, as I pushed. No joy. I had to back off a bit due to the discomfort. Interestingly, about the time it REALLY felt like it was hurting, I got hard as a baseball bat. Gawwd, I'm such a pain slut. lol.

I tried and tried for 15 minutes or so. In and out, twisting and contorting. I tried shallow breathing, deep breathing, everything. I found that breathing high in my chest helped, as did really lowering my shoulders toward the floor as I knelt. Still, it wasn't going anywhere. It felt farther than I'd ever gone before, though, so I had some hope. I also chuckled as I thought about my wife waking up, and finding me on my knees, chest to the floor, looking like I was praying to Mecca, while simultaneously grimacing and shoving an enormous black rubber butt plug up my ass!

Finally I decided that perhaps I didn't have lube in all the right places. There was certainly no shortage of it down there. Perhaps it was just not spread where it was needed. I slowly rotated the plug a full 360.. turning a bit, backing up, turning some more... and working it in and out about an inch as I did so. Having done that, I began to push again. And push.... and push... it was moving.... it was 1/2" ... 1/4" .... my gawd, wasn't it in yet?!?.. I could no longer feel the wide part, but it hadn't gone past to the narrow part. My ass was screaming, and I struggled to keep my body from doing the natural thing, and push it out. With eyes watering, but a feeling of stubborn determination, I gave it one more push with my fingertips. I felt an explosion of sensation (not entirely pleasant!), and pop, it went the rest of the way in. It seated itself in the narrow section at the bottom. It was firmly in my butt, and oddly, completely comfortable.

I knelt there breathing for a moment, wondering if it would hurt to stand. I also had a nervous thought about trying to get it back out! I'd read enough emergency room horror stories to know it's happened before! Gingerly, I knelt upright, wondering if I'd feel discomfort. I got a pleasant sensation as the plug rubbed my prostate, but otherwise nothing.

I debated for all of about 1/2 second, and decided to leave it in as I went to bed. I figured I'd be up to pee at some point, and I could remove it. I washed up and went to bed. As I lay there, I reached around and tried to see how much I could slide it in and out. Nothing. It was really wedged on the lower notch. No prostate massage with this thing, once it's in place! I drifted off to a slightly aroused but satisfied sleep.

Around 3 hours later, I woke to natures call. I didn't really have to go very much, but I figured it would be wise to remove the plug. My tush is pretty inexperienced, and I didn't want to overdo. I sat over the toilet (in case the removal was somewhat "power assisted" by the contents of my bowels). I began to tug. Oh my gawwd. It felt totally stuck! I twisted it a little. It also felt kinda dry. The vaseline must have been drying up. Well, I knew this thing had to come out. There wasn't much I could do about it. I tugged... and tugged. Oh my friggin gawwd! It felt like I was passing a Volkswagon! I pulled some more, and let go. Pop, it went back in. Holy shit.

I sat on the toilet, head in clean hand, thinking "This was brilliant!". I caught my breath, summoned my courage, and tried again. I pulled... and pulled.... it hurt.. but I pulled.... Finally, it got over the edge, and POP, shoved itself outward. The feeling was extreme. It may have been pleasant, if it didn't feel like the majority of my body cavity was coming out my ass! I stopped with the plug removed, but held against my anus... partly to feel the comforting pressure that told me my anus was actually CLOSED again, and not gaping open like a raggedly ripped flesh wound! I sat and caught my breath, and then tossed the plug in the sink.

My ass felt swollen, and was. I gingerly wiped with some toilet paper. While everything was still covered with a thick layer of vaseline, my south entrance was definitely swollen and annoyed. It was a weird feeling, to have a swollen asshole! Everything seemed clean as could be, and I didn't see any blood (thankfully!). I washed the plug, and my hands thoroughly, and shuffled gingerly back to bed.

In summary, it was painful, scary, and extremely erotic feeling. I have no doubt where that plug will be in a few days, when everything feels back to normal!

 

I've been intrigued by the discussion of hypnosis and chastity, so I went over to the warpmymind site, and had a look around. The next thing I knew, I was downloading some MP3s and a PDF about hypnosis. I find it fascinating.

I've downloaded some induction MP3s and even written a script for self-hypnosis which I've recorded, to play after the inductions. I've tried it 3 times now, and have not yet induced a trance (at least not enough of one). That's not uncommon, according to what I've read. It takes practice, apparently.

I'm going to keep whacking at it, so to speak. The notion of being able to "program" my body for chastity games is just too hot to pass up!

 

TMI ahead.....

OK, I warned you. So, I played with my butt-plug again last night. The report is good, actually. I had only managed to insert this thing once before, last week. I waited a few days until I didn't feel bruised, and tried again last night. It went in after only about 5 minutes of struggling, as opposed to about 20 the last time! It went so well, that I actually popped it out, and back in last night. It didn't feel like I'd torn myself a new one this time! Woo hoo!

 

SPA day - Aka Pro Domme Visit

So, today my Wife and I did something different. We visited a Pro Domme friend of ours, and commissioned her services to give me a "SPA Day". My wife likes massages and seaweed wraps. I like floggings and CBT. To each his own! ;-p

My wife came along and was peripherally involved in the scene. Since she knows me (and my pain thresholds) very well from 20 years of martial arts, she was ready to help out the Domme, if she was concerned I wasn't safewording or anything. I tend to have a high pain threshold, and have never safeworded... until today, that is. I actually did say (OK, pretty much SCREAMED) "Yellow" today, for the first time. lol. That fourth nipple clamp on one side hurt enough. Smacking the whole schebang with a slapper a few times was monumentally painful. Yoiks!

Anyway I get ahead of myself. We arrived, and a little D/s was in order. I partially stripped and was ordered around a bit (moving furniture for the scene, etc). We sorted out honorifics for my Wife (Mistress), and the Domme (Maam). We went over the basic guidelines of the scene. I left most of it to the Domme's creativity. I wanted flogging, CBT, bondage, and like blindfolds. I did tell her my PA is less than 2 months old, so it shouldn't be tugged on too much. I didn't care if I had bruises or welts. Other than that, I left it to her judgment. I think she appreciated having a lot of leeway to be creative.

I have to give my Wife credit. She really doesn't "get" any of this, but understands and even supports my need. She was there. She even wore a corset for the occasion. As we negotiated the scene, my wife drew the line at cutting, but said that if a whip drew blood, that was no big deal. I felt strangely proud of her for saying that. Later, as the scene commenced, the Domme ordered me to kiss her feet. My Wife yelled from the sidelines "That wasn't very convincing! Where was the tongue?!?" Odd the things that can make you love and appreciate your Wife all the more. lol.

I was ordered to strip the rest of the way. Then, after a careful "inspection", I was blindfolded and led over to a cross, and attached. What followed was two hours of endorphine inciting bliss. My ass, back, and legs are covered with welts. My cock and balls are somewhat swollen and tender, and my nipples are still throbbing from all the clips.

I tend to get giddy when flogged, which the Domme also enjoyed. When she'd smack me enough to make me yelp or lurch in my chains, I'd inevitably giggle afterward. By the end of the CBT scene, I let off with a few outright screams (new for me!), and then couldn't help but laugh. The Domme thanked me later, saying it made her wet. lol. I aim to please, I guess! I heard my wife laughing off to the side, shouting "Ooh, good one!" on occasion. She's nothing, if not supportive!

All too soon (but still 2 hours later), the Domme took me down, and had me kneel before my wife and cuddle my head in her lap. After a drink of water, we removed my blindfold. I was so high on endorphines that the room was spinning. We chit-chatted for a while, and caught up with each other on mundane things. After about another 15 minutes, we packed up and were on our way. At $150/hr, "Spa day" was really no more expensive than a couples massage, which we've done before. Somehow, though, this one left me a lot more relaxed.

 

The little stretch that couldn't

Well, I ran out of patience, and tried to stretch my PA from 12ga to 10ga. The piercing is over 2 months old, and has healed marvelously. It's been totally trouble free. It seemed like I'd just be able to pop a bigger ring in.... but I couldn't.

I don't have any piercing tapers or anything. Given the general softness of the tissues involved, I was hoping I could just slick up the 10ga ring with some antibiotic ointment (doubling as a lubricant) and shove it on in. Well, try as I might, it just wasn't having it. I pushed it in from the exit side, under my penis. The jewelry went most of the way in, but I sensed it was at the urethra side of the piercing, and just wouldn't go that last little bit.

As I shoved and shoved, I got a little weepy blood coming out. Nothing significant. Just enough to tell me the piercing wasn't enjoying this. I decided to try to lube it more, so I put the 12ga back in with a bunch of ointment on it. With just a little fiddling, it got to about the same place, and resisted. I pushed, and felt a little "pop" as it went by. I actually wonder if there is scar tissue there from my first PA, and it's hardened right next to this wound.

Anyway, I put in the 12ga, and swished it back and forth with more antibiotic ointment, then removed it. I slicked up the 10ga, and tried again. Still no joy. I did the whole procedure one more time, and STILL could not get the damn 10ga past the point of resistance. In fact, the hole on the underside of my penis was getting red and swollen, and the last time, it was even difficult to get into the entry hole. I decided that meant it was time to call it quits.

With some fussing I got the 12ga back in. I put the bead back on, and gave the whole abused mess a good saltwater soak. Given that I made it bleed, I suspect I should wait at least a month before I try again. Crap! My chastity device has a 10ga and 8ga pin. I need to do the stretch before I can use it with the PA. Grumble, grumble.

 

Woo hoo! I got my stretch done!

On my second attempt (a week after the first), I managed to insert my 10ga CBR into my PA. I'm having some minor fussiness, but I think I can get through it with some saltwater soaking.

This is really exciting to me, since I bought my Lori #6 with both 10ga and 8ga pins. Theoretically, I can use the tube now, once I'm healed. I can't WAIT to test it! I've had the tube for nearly two years, but have not been able to test it with a piercing. Without it, it's just too easy to pull out.

Anyway, progress, progress!

On a related note, I've been concerned all along that it's gonna be one hell of a chore to get the piercing lined up with the hole on the tube, and get the pin installed. Does anyone have experience with that which they can share?

 

Just a quick update. My PA stretch is doing OK, though not great. I've had some keloid issues in the time since I upgraded to the 10ga jewelry. I think I'm on the road to recovery, however. Still anxious for it to heal, and continue with a stretch to 8ga. My Lori tube is sitting there tempting me daily!

 

Well, I was running errands today, and scooted by the piercing shop, so I ducked in and picked up the 8ga Titanium ring they were holding for me. I swore to myself that I wouldn't try it for at least a month AFTER I stopped having any keloids or symptoms from my stretch to 10ga.

Well, that commitment lasted about until I got in the front door. Actually, I didn't want to try the ring, Instead, I figured I would test the stretch with the 8ga post from my chastity device. It's like a curved barbell instead of a full ring. I figured it would be a LOT easier to manipulate, since I just wanted to test getting an 8ga piece of jewelry through the piercing. Trying to spin a ring around is a nuisance.

Well, I tested first with the 10ga post. It worked fine, as expected. About midway through the piercing, I felt a narrower constriction. I felt a little "pop" as I pushed past it, but it was not unpleasant. I switched to the 8ga post, and it went in to about that constriction and stopped. It wasn't going anywhere. I pushed and fiddled for a while, and decided to give it a rest. No point in hurting it. The first stretch is only about 3-4 weeks old, and still fussy, so I don't want to push it.

Well, having the posts out for the Lori tube was more temptation than I could handle. I got out the tube, and looked to see how hard it would be to put it on. I hadn't tested it with my piercing yet. The trick is getting the penis in the tube, with the hole for the piercing directly over the hole in the bottom of the tube, so the post goes through the tube, and into the piercing. The post then pokes out the urethral opening in the front. The post is then secured down to the tube with a lock, effectively preventing removal of the tube.

I imagined getting the tube on and locked might be somewhat difficult. First, the penis has to be jammed into a constricting tube, and then lined up perfectly with the hole under the piercing on the underside of the shaft. The process is further complicated by the fact that such rough handling often "induces swelling", if you know what I mean. I had to take several breaks to think about trigonometry and old nuns until the swelling went down, so I could keep trying. ;-p

Well, after 30 minutes of wrestling, I DID get it on. Unfortunately, the placement of my PA (which is quite far back) means that the chastity tube doesn't fit right. There's not enough room in the end of it for my glans, in order for the hole to line up. I basically had to squeeze the front of my glans through the bars on the end of the tube, which is not suitable for wearing for any duration. I >may< be able to work some magic with a drill and tap and die to move the hole for the pin. I'll have to see. I'm a little disappointed that it's not going to "just work", but that seems to be the way this little project goes.

Anyway, having puttered with that for a while, I removed the CB, cleaned everything up, and put my 10ga jewelry back in. It popped right in, like a dream. MUCH easier than the wrestling match it took to install it just a few weeks ago.

When I first started this process, I hated the aesthetic of the PA. It's grown on me, however. When I first go the PA, 12ga looked just right. 10ga looked scary, and 8ga looked like a piece of re-bar. Now, 8ga is looking pretty cool. I still think 0ga looks ridiculously huge, but I could imagine 6ga.. hmm.... I feel I'm being slowly corrupted.

Oh, funny thing. I was picking up my 8ga jewelry. Dawn, the shop owner, was rooting around her drawer looking for it. She had one set aside with my name on it. Well, she reaches in and pulls out this ENORMOUS curved barbell. It must have been like 000ga or something. The plopped it on the counter and said "How 'bout this one?" I quickly replied "I said eight GAUGE not eight POUNDS!" We both had a good chuckle.

 

Yanno, I remember when 8ga jewelry looked like re-bar. Now it looks like "good start". I tried to stretch my PA to 8ga a few times in the last week without success. I contacted my piercer. She recommended waiting a few more weeks, since I recently had keloid issues. She offered to taper stretch if I want to rush it, but suggested that I keep massaging the healing keloid sites, "and maybe after a few weeks of that start using some weights. The extra weight will help the stretch and you'd probably enjoy that process..."

Yes, I think I would. lol.

Perhaps I should stop by the shop and see if she has some stainless steel weights.

 

6ga - wow!

So, my PA piercing is very comfortably healed at 8ga. I thought this was quite an accomplishment. Unfortunately, my chastity tube doesn't fit, due to the location of the piercing. Since the first piercing rejected, Dawn redid the piercing much farther back. I like the placement, but it doesn't work with the chastity device. The tube has bars on the end, and I have to "jam my junk" too far in, in order to line up the hole in the bottom of the tube with the whole on the bottom of my brain, err, I mean, penis. The result is, there's no room for the glans.

Now, I'm a fundamentally cheap guy. I can't bear to reorder another chastity tube. They're expensive. I'm thinking of taking a Welding class in the spring. I'm handy with tools. I just need a bit of training. I'd like to just make one, once I learn how to weld Stainless Steel. As a bonus, I might have to buy an arc welder. How cool is that?!?

So, looking on the bright side, I figure I might as well keep stretching the PA, while I wait out my opportunity to learn welding. The stretch from 12ga to 10ga was fairly easy. 10ga to 8ga was more difficult. I had to suspend weights from my jewelry to help stretch for a few days, and then the jewelry went in fairly easily. Well, I ordered a 6ga ring a few weeks ago. I started dangling weights again today. This evening, I went and picked the jewelry up. Oh my!

Wow. It's thick. I stared at it for a bit, wondering "How the heck am I EVER gonna fit THAT thing in?!?" Then I noticed I was getting hard.

OK, I'm a pain slut. But we knew that.

 

MW, no, I haven't contacted Miss Lori. My current PA piercing is my second go-around. I ordered the tube when my >first< PA was healing well... of course, within seconds of placing the order, the damn thing migrated out on me!

It was two years before I got the PA redone. At this late date, I don't feel justified in approaching her about reworking it as a "warranty" kind of thing. Heck, with the location of the first piercing, it might well have fit.

As it happens, I'm handy with tools, and am planning to take a welding class in January. If I do, I'll probably be able to fashion my own tube afterward.

Charlotte, alas, I'm cut, so my experience probably isn't very applicable to you. I DO wonder if it would be possible to use a sterile "probe" of some kind, inserted in the urethra and out the bottom, in order to line things up more easily, rather than trying "bottom-up". I may dabble with that, when I finally have a tube that fits me. Given what a biatch it would be to put this tube on, I dread having to take it off very often.

Oh wait, did I say that?!? ;-p

 

yanno, I've been meaning to get back to the hypno stuff, but life's just been "full" lately. lol.

I tried it for a while. I downloaded a few different standard inductions, and then added my own chastity related post hypnotic trigger to the end. I put it all on an iPod, and played it every night at bed time, and a few times during the day, for a few weeks.

The net was I'd get deeply relaxed during the induction and fall asleep. I don't recall that I ever entered anything I'd consider a trance, and triggers I set for myself didn't really work.

So, I kinda lost interest and set it aside for a bit. I've been focusing on this recent problem where I quack like a duck every time I see a banana. enisdance: :happy0011:

Actually, with what few kinky cycles I've had available to me, I've been trying to stretch my PA. I have 6ga jewelry, but damn, that thing looks more like a donut than a ring! I've been dangling weights from my 8ga jewelry trying to stretch the piercing, but the 6ga jewelry won't even START to go in the hole. I guess I'll get some heavier weights or something. I guess the good news in all of this is that suspending a weight from the PA is completely comfortable. That makes me feel confident that when I start using the PA to secure a chastity device, that it won't pose a problem.

On another, somewhat stream-of-consciousness note, I'm beginning another self-imposed endurance chastity marathon. My longest stretch to date was 3 1/2 months. I've decided I'm shooting for 5 months, which puts me around my 46th birthday in May. Long term chastity puts me in an amazing and different head space. I'd like to experience it again. In the mean time, if I actually get into my welding class in January, I may be able to sort out the issues with my Lori tube, or just make a replacement. I'm hoping to have a reliable and working chastity tube in my hands as my SECOND birthday gift. My hands will certainly be delivering the FIRST! hehe.

I mentioned some time ago (though honestly, I haven't even reread my OWN journal) that I have a five year vision for my chastity passions. Part of that is about doing whatever it takes to have a working device by the end of five years. If I ever DO manage, another thing is to make one more attempt with my Wife as KH. She shows very little interest. In fact, these endurance chastity stints are an indication of how little libido she has these days. They haven't posed any problem with our romantic life. We're a very loving and devoted couple. She just has no interest in sex. I imagine that any arrangement about chastity that we may come to will simply involve her holding keys for a negotiated amount of time, but probably not much else. Still, if that's what I can get, that's what I'll take.

I don't think I've written this here, but the final stage of my five year plan involves one full year in chastity. It would begin the day before my 49th birthday, and end when I'm 50. I may end up the only 49 year old on the planet who can not WAIT for his 50th birthday! ;-p. I figure at the end of that stint, I will either be totally "done" with chastity as a kink, or I'll still be totally committed and enjoying it. Either way, after 5 years of "training" and buildup, I'll end up either "in" or "out", and not just dreaming about it any more.

Wish me luck!
mikecb

 

[quote name='Kris'_Master']

I think what i'm trying to say is give your wife time, let her research the subject, if she would like any advice theres a whole host of us on the site that would be happy to discuss any worries or concerns she may have around becoming your domme.

I was once in the same place your wife is, showing little or no interest in sex, I guess though that as long as the relationship is loving and stable which from reading your blog i'm sure it is then thats the main thing.[/QUOTE]

Kris'_Master,

Thanks for the post. Unfortunately, her utter lack of libido leads her to having very little interest in learning much about Domme/sub relationships. I've given her things to read, etc. They all sit, unread. The most progress we made was when we attended some BDSM play parties. She seems to appreciate other people in these relationships, but really doesn't know what to do with herself, and is disinclined to learn. She does LOVE the play parties, though, because she loves to get all dressed up. lol. She'll get all dressed up, and have a few moments that feel promising, and then it all just fades away again.

Unfortunately, my wife has a very ugly family / emotional history, and this is just an area I'm not going to push very hard. When I finally have a working device, I'll ask her to hold the keys again, but it will probably be in a very "top from the bottom" way. If she then gets a spark of interest and wishes to assert more control, I'll encourage her in any way I can.

In any event, I remain grateful that she is at least understanding and loving enough to come to play parties, and let me have my "spa days" with a Pro Domme. Many women would not even do that! :CMrocks: