Metod 3 Months?

1) You build up to it. It takes time to settle into being caged and it takes time to find the right cage, the right hygiene regime, etc.
2) We did 3 months without ejaculating at all, and another time went 4 months without the key being used.
3) Yes, you get achy balls but it passes, and you won't die.

When we did 4 months continuously locked we both wished we had gone longer, so that is what we are doing.

After 3 months without ejaculating (no ruined, no milkings, etc) I did feel highly motivated and focused on productive things. Again, we both wish we had not stopped.

 

I understand and agree with the CONCEPT of three months to start with. However, I feel there is practically zero ability for that to happen. It just takes too long to adapt the body for three months of continuous wear.

Others may have succeeded, but I doubt it.

I say break in slowly. Even though three months sounds erotic.

 

I agree to, it takes time for your body adapt and for you to find the right sizes and type of device for you.

 

Agreed. Both for the body, and the mind to adapt. We started with a few days, my wife kind of on board with trying at all.

Then we did a week, built up to a month (all of this with removal for teasing and cleaning).

It takes time to dial it in and get a routine wearing it. The body has to adapt to being wrapped intimately with hardware.

It has taken my wife some time to figure this out, too. And what she wants to do with it. We've been going month by month for the past 3 months (4 total) and are at a new convergence point.

My wife, through dialog with @JaySaysYes over the last day has become FULLY on board with going for a long-term lockup. She is literally giddy like a little girl with a bag of candy.

And we are ready. I could physically do it, great cage, fits great, been through many different situations and have a routine.

Mentally I believe I could do it, and it sounds kinky as hell and exciting. Especially since my wife is on board and has the day to day experience over the past months as a foundation.

Ironically, her new enthusiasm and focus also scares me. I told her last night that up until now I knew I still had control and that she hadn't fully taken charge. And she agreed. But like so many things in life, once you open the gates, the flood starts. I think my wife has her mind set on something like 3 months with no unlocking and no orgasms. She wants to master her control and teasing of me.

It really has been a journey of a bunch of parts coming together. Do take it slow and build to it...could go fast, might take some time.

I'm on day 32 since my last orgasm. Now discussing what to do next and my crazed man brain being horny as hell is in a far better head space to commit to something like this than if I had an orgasm first. I think my wife is ready to launch in and start tonight.

I asked if the prior 32 days count, and it sounds like they don't since I'd been unlocked several times.

I can't believe we've made it to this point and she is as or more excited about it than I am.

 

We’re in our fourth year of chastity and my longest lockups are 55 days and a bunch of 20+ day lockups. We tried all different length lockups, dice games etc, we finally just went with my Wife deciding when she wants to use the penis, she unlocks me, and when she wants to give me a ruin, she gives me one. We found over the couple of years that we wanted to try 2023 as a once a month full orgasm year. And other than that, it’s all whatever the Queen desires, and honestly if she says the one cum per month is changing for some reason, I’d obey at this point too.
I don’t know if I could do 90 days no unlocks at all except for cleaning. I’m locked 24/7 and have been for the last two years, but even having experience now, I doubt I could handle it!
Those who have done it, that’s impressive

 

So we are about a month into the three. This is after about six months for “fitting” with the longest time between releases of about a week. There is comfort and adapting that i have learned to not rush. So far, i have not had any issues with the longer wear but my nuts do swell, particularly if I sit a lot at work. I learned to squeeze between the testicles to work some fluid back into circulation. That was game changer for me. So far, we both enjoy this a lot—her more than me but that was the plan.

Pay a lot attention to contact dermatitis. About one in five will have a nickel allergy. While medical grade ss is supposed to not leach nickel, enough leached out for me to develop a burning rash. I now have a ti cage for that reason. Dyes and resins in plastic cages are also common allergens. If you feel a funny burn after a week, you need to check the skin. This is a different burn than say a pinch or a gap issue. The reactions develop with time.

Wash thoroughly. Your body will flush seminal fluid and it will smell like a used condom. Urine can collect under the shaft and on top of the balls. That is a warm moist spot that gets ripe fast.

good luck and have fun!

 

Many people on this forum haven't read the Secret to a Happy Marriage carefully. The "Initial Lockup" recommended is after the break-In period which involves getting the right fit and used to wearing the cage 24x7 for a time without chafing, etc. The author is NOT suggesting going for 90+ days right away... that's not practical.

Once I had reached a place where I could go 30 days without ejaculation, we started experimenting with shorter lockups. That started to induce a hormonal drop and I struggled with the temptation to masturbate. I caved and gave myself a caged orgasm with a vibe. We decided then I needed a 90 day lockup without any ejaculation.

The 90 day lockup went fine but it seemed to last forever. My wife teased me frequently (approx 5x / week) without removing the cage and no PIV. The important point was to take my little guy out of the equation and give him no direct stimulation. She teased other erogenous zones which became my source of pleasure. I came to crave her touch.

I was released for hygiene cleanings, but later it was for grooming only. I learned to clean my cage with q-tips, squirt bottles filled with water & a few drops of anti-bacterial hand soap, and a hand held shower wand.

The biggest benefits of the initial lockup were:

1. She learned she didn't need to feel guilty for keeping me denied. She teased me repeatedly until I was TFD (totally effing desperate) and then held me until I calmed down or allowed me to pleasure her.
2. We were physically intimate constantly without the pressure of my orgasm. I learned how she enjoyed being touched the most and began to focus on those things instead of my own release. Her teasing of me often was the foreplay for her orgasms. She found her own rhythm and frequency for orgasms apart from mine. Physical intimacy became something neither of us could do without and we set aside 30 minutes every morning before getting out of bed for cuddling and play.
3. The temptation to masturbate diminished significantly but not entirely. I became much more focused on deriving physical pleasure from her touch, teasing and cuddling. I think this us what they call re-wiring your brain. I still occasionally want to play with myself. But I quickly start to think about how much more pleasurable her magic touch is than my own, and the focus of my desire returns to her. Zero erections apart from her touch are now my goal for life.
4. This was a big step in learning what a healthy release schedule is for me. But it took us beyond the 90 days to figure that out. She enjoys not having to deal with my semen very often. She doesn't like the sticky mess. Once every couple of weeks is probably too often for her. Every two weeks is too often for me because I start to experience hormonal drop and become too focused on my own orgasms. We talked and she decided a month should be my shortest lock-up. My "lizard" (middle) brain struggles with that but my rational brain (frontal lobe) agrees with her.

It was tough, no doubt. But neither of us wished for it to go longer. Nor do we see a need to. But that's a personal thing for everybody and you need to figure that out for yourselves. A lot seems to be dependent on your dynamic and the amount of other physical intimacy and teasing you enjoy. As a couple, the desire for PIV has to be figured out too. 90 days without PIV gives you time to see if you really need it. At that point, you can then decide if you need to experiment with desensitization, condoms, strap-ons, etc.

The other thing you need to figure out is how denial periods, teasing, etc affects your hormonal balance. One 90 day lockup won't fully answer that question. Frequent teasing, putting the cage back on right after a release, limiting erections altogether, etc may eliminate or minimize hormonal drop significantly after an orgasm.

Believe me, the journey is worth it! My wife and I are enjoying our marriage like never before. Seriously. Even a hint that we might go backwards in our relationship sends us into a panic and makes us stop, investigate, and fix whatever is broken. We are never going back!

 

Totally nailed it!

 

Wow, indeed...perfect! Thank you. I was just about to start a thread about this. My wife and I are embarking on an extended lock-up (60 days + the 33 I've done so far) and she has questions about what works best. More teasing, less teasing, what will I be feeling and needing, etc. What activities, etc, work best.

She has an account on this site now and I will refer her to this thread and @littleguy3 's post here. She has an account so she can read posts and things I send her, but doesn't expect to be particularly active posting (yet another site to follow and thing to do).

 

@knightly Careful...

 

Yeah, tell me about it. I am so conflicted. We had a long conversation this morning about the long lock-up, goals, and how to get there. I suggested you, @IB-Chaste, @littleguy3 and others have a good perspective and wive's have good perspectives and experience and may be able to help. I alternate between excited and scared of the unknown. I believe physically I can do it, we've been working u to this all told for over a year and a quarter. And with chastity for over 4 months now.

But the emotional part, the dynamic between us. What can we anticipate as challenges and hurdles to work through? And what are some of the best ways to work through it?

Our communication is good, and improving. We both have places where we can get stuck in a loop. She tends to be more conservative and I tend to go off the deep end. So where she may be resistant to teasing or pushing harder, I want to feel the energy and push.

@JaySaysYes, you mentioned before going through 2 weeks of really feeling down and challenged. How did you work through that?

 

Mainly, I was very kind to myself.

I went for long walks in nature, meditated by the river, hugged some trees, did gardening (without gloves), read books outdoors.

It's the same for feelings of depression associated with going cold turkey from addictions, in my experience (I used to be a heavy smoker but quit cold turkey some years ago).

 

This HAS to be one of the best summaries ever written about the transforming powers of chastity training.

Thank you for an inspired piece.

Laz

 

YES! Those are healthy ways to produce dopamine that will help with the withdrawal and urges!

 

Agree with others, what a great summary that offers a very clear view that many can't (or haven't figured out) how to express. All of these last posts here have been great and inspire me to continue to work through this...because it's not a sprint, it's a journey. And equally important, one's journey can be difficult at times, but the unified message to those that have persevered all have ine thing in common...it's totally worth it!

 

The biggest thing I think we're both trying to wrap our heads around is what our dynamic should be. Littleguy's post was perfect this morning, There's a theme around intense teasing (and denial). Sexual frustration vs mental frustration.

I think she's concerned that giving me too much teasing is counter-productive to her goals. And my concern is that not enough teasing just deadens things for me and is frustrating.

@JaySaysYes had me thinking this morning that there are several aspects to consider around withdrawl and how to get through the down times. I can think of three main issues:

1) Relationship intimacy - having a healthy balance of oxytocin and connection
2) Stirring and maintaining masculine sexual energy
3) Self-soothing to get rid of stress, handle difficult situations, etc.

Definitely want lots of #1, #2 is the one she can play with and push, tease, deny and then put to work in the yard. #3 we need to be careful..to not slip into that pattern and feed the demon.

One trigger from not having play time and teasing is residual fear of abandonment. Maybe this is a good time to push through resolving that.

We've committed to check in regularly, be open and honest, take it a day at a time, but keep pushing.

We're planning to start tonight, I'm trying to wrap my head around it . I think I'll ask to wear the Watchful Mistress cage as it;s more enclosed than the Jail Bird and feels really comfortable, especially for outdoor work (less rubbing). But sucks for direct touch for any <hopeful> teasing. Which @littleguy3 suggests should be minimized/avoided anyhow. Deep breath, this feels like it is NOT going to be easy. I didn't mean to hijack the thread, hopefully this is relevant and helpful to others.

 

My beautiful wife and I have been dabbled with male chastity for the last two years with several one to three week lockups (life interruptions) and not planning on going to to a 24/7 lock down, but we have been discussing going further. I have been wearing an MCN Contender w/ a special 2GA PA hook and security screws. It is not removable without bolt cutters and total destruction. As of this morning I have been locked down for 15 days and decided to send her the link to the happy marriage article. She read it and walked over, grabbed my cage and said” thanks for the great ideas”. No idea where this is going, but it appears to be interesting to my beautiful wife!

 

From my experience, a lot of 1 and a little of 2 take care of 3.

 

3 months is indeed possible, once you have the right fit and gotten used to the device - like littleguy3 said, it's not right away.

But once you can wear it 3 weeks without problems, I think 3 months is not only possible, but strongly encouraged. It does all those things littleguy3 said, and I think it's very important for the two of you to know long lockups are possible, even if she ends up preferring shorter ones. The fact both of you now know you can go for that long just makes it much more fun. If the two of you never try that long, then you'll never know if it's right for you.

I do think it's important for each Keyholder to experiment with different lengths of lockups to determine what works best for the relationship.

 

Spot on.

 

So here is an update on yesterdays activities. After my beautiful read the article and we had a brief tease and discussion, about three hours later, she told me to get ready for a session with her big black cock (the Hung dildo). So after being teased, caned, strapped with the Lochgelly tawse, and throughly fucked with her big black cock, and licking her to three beautiful orgasms, she told me to clean up everything. After clean up and a shower, I walked into the living room wearing nothing but the cage and she motioned me to sit down in front of her. She then explained that the article had given her the permission that she needed to move forward with keeping me in male chastity, that it was not punishment for anything, that it was needed to improve my behavior, and that this kink was not unusual. So moving forward, I will be caged 24/7 unless she decides to allow erection or ejaculation by whatever means she chooses. Providing cunnilingus as requested and submitting to training sessions with her cane and big black cock are required. She stated we will continue with 24/7 lockdown and no erection or ejaculation for a minimum of thirty days (already at 16 days). I agreed and said thank you! Later as we got into bed, she told that she had considered allowing me to ejaculate before bed, but that considering how aroused I had been this afternoon, she felt it would be counterproductive for the male chastity process, so she kissed me and said good night. After many questions and a few bumps in the chastity road, this article may have paved the road to the future, although my cage cock is not agreeing that his is a good idea at the moment! And off we go!

 

Plenty of good answer up there but be sure of one thing, 3 month is a lot to beggin with. if you can handle it is fine but not sure you really can in a row.

It takes time to adapt to the cage and to control yourself, to be tamed and this depends on the motivation of your KH/wife. Bit I also read that 90 days was the limit to be fully chaste and tamed.

What I can say you is that the first week is hard, after it is the 15th day that is hard then it is fine for longer period. my record is 70 days in a row, it was not easy. broken by my KH who is not a lot into cage.

Good luck and use a diary, it helps a lot.

 

I guess I will never know, my wife won't deny me, and won't let me jut pleasure her, but she makes the rules

 

3 months is monumental for an initial lockup. Sounds exciting before you start. Try 3 weeks. You’ll both like it better.