Me, myself and her

It has come up here and there. My wife has a love/hate relationship with full orgasms. She enjoys them but limiting them has definitely shined a spotlight on the effects of the post-orgasm drop which she does not enjoy. The most recent time it was discussed I had made some kind of comment about going down to the two a year and what’s next, none? She said it would be easy for her to do that but feels if I don’t have something to look forward to then there’s no payoff to my struggle. That’s why the consequences of having an accident now are to lose out on one of my limited opportunities; she’s not actively taking away orgasms but if I end up not getting them it’s ultimately my own fault. Smart woman.

 

Thank you and happy birthday @curiousandrede17 (I just noticed the award on your post). Best of luck to you as well and I really hope the health issues improve.

 

Our weekend away was wonderful. No kids, no work and no worries. We stayed at a place in the middle of nowhere, close to 30 minutes away from anything. No television or bustling streets to distract us. It was just my wife and I and a whole lot of nothing to do and explore. We spent most of our time taking walks, playing games and doing puzzles and when we weren’t doing things with one another we were just relaxing and existing together. We both needed it badly and enjoyed every moment. But we aren’t on this site to hear about cozy weekend getaways so I’ll get to the chastity side of things. She stayed true to her word and I was locked up every minute that she wasn’t actively using me. If I was released because my wife wanted access to my penis I was locked up the moment she decided she was done. I didn’t really expect anything different but I admit I was a little hopeful.

Day One

The first night we had some great spontaneous sex. We were just reading on the couch when she suddenly was on top of me and kissing me. Clothes were pulled off and tossed around the room and then she planted herself on my face. It was primal. After a few orgasms she unlocked me, tossed a towel on the couch and laid back legs spread. The one upside to being caged continuously for so long is that when I finally do get an opportunity to get hard it feels so amazing. My wife was insatiable and wanted more and more, harder and deeper. I kept up the pace for as long as I could before having to grab her hips and stay fully inside her just pushing instead of thrusting. She had cum so many times at this point I felt like she had to be done soon but she just kept going. She looked up at me at one point and saw the anguish on my face. My muscles were sore from holding back and my penis felt like it was going to rip open from all the pressure. She smacked my chest rather hard and yelled “don’t you dare fucking cum!” and continued grinding against me.

By some miracle I was able to keep it together until she was through. It got increasingly difficult as once she realized how much I was struggling her arousal only increased and she came harder and harder. Finally she had enough and pushed against my chest until I was out of her and fell back exhausted, placing my head between her legs. “Clean my pussy.” While I was licking her she said “you did good husband. I really thought you were going to lose it. When I’m clean I want you to set a reminder on your phone for tomorrow morning at nine. You’re going to ruin so you can go even longer tomorrow night.” We both slept like champs that night, her moreso than me of course.

Day Two

The next morning while cleaning up from breakfast the reminder alarm on my phone sounded. I had set it without a label so it took a minute to remember what it was for. Obviously she didn’t recall right away either as it took a bit before she said “was that the ruin reminder?” She told me to go upstairs, take off my pajamas and stand at the edge of the bed. I was expecting another ruin on her foot but she had other plans. She walked in with a big smile on her face, sat on the bed facing me and produced a small ramekin and teaspoon from her robe pocket. “You’re going to cum in this and use the spoon to clean it up today.” I protested and said there’s no way I’d be able to do that myself. Licking it off of her was one thing, but spoon feeding myself was another. She responded “I’ll give you some incentive. After you cum I’ll get it ready, hand you the spoon and count to ten. If you do it before I’m done counting then that one spoonful will be all you need to do. If I get to ten I’ll feed it to you but you will have to finish it all, no matter how many spoonfuls it takes.” She handed me a vibrator and said “get started.”

I’m embarrassed to say it didn’t take long, a few minutes max. I was so built up from the night before that it almost felt like the cum was just sitting there waiting at the door and while I tried to not let it happen (I guess I was hoping she’d change her mind at some point?) I inevitably reached the point of ruin and stopped, then after a few seconds I could feel everything dripping out. My mind immediately shifted to what was next. I stood there and kept my eyes closed as I felt her push against the head of my penis through the cage most likely to squeeze the last few drops out. Then I heard the spoon scraping against the edge of the bowl and she said “just so you know there’s a lot in here. Probably three spoonfuls, maybe a little more. Time to choose. Hold out your hand.” She handed me to spoon and I kept my eyes shut so I couldn’t see the contents. The moment she let go she started. One. Two. I can recall weighing my options, trying to convince myself to do it. Three. Four. Five. This is going to suck. Six. Seven. Finally on eight I mustered the courage to do it.

It was terrible. I’ve never enjoyed the whole clean up thing but this was a new level of unenjoyable. Licking it off her pussy or even other parts of her body gives me the taste of her which cuts the taste of me. This was all me and the spoon added humiliation into the mix. She giggled as she saw my face and said “see, that wasn’t so bad.” I told her it was and I don’t think I’d be able to do it myself again regardless of how many more spoonfuls I’d get. Her simple reply was “you’re assuming you’ll ever get the one spoonful option again.”

The rest of the day was great, way better than how it started. We lounged, walked some trails and went out to dinner. That night she reaped the rewards of the mornings ruin. She had me for as long as she wanted and at the tempo she wanted. I was surprised she was able to orgasm as many times as she did given the prior nights amount. Towards the end she made sure I hit the edge a few times as I’ve learned watching my struggle to hold back usually heightens her arousal. She finished up and then used her vibrator to cum and squirt on my face a few times. Then we polished off the bottle of wine and fell asleep listening to the rain.

Day Three

Our final day we had breakfast, played some cards, packed and cleaned up the place. We jumped in the shower together and she took off my cage so I could get really clean after the last few days events. We washed each other and kissed under the water (one of my favorite things we do together). Before we got out she said “let’s make sure you’re totally clean”, poured some soap in her hand and slowly stroked me. “Get to the edge.” I did. Over and over. By the time she was done I was throbbing and sore. She looked at my penis and said “wow it’s turning colors. That looks almost painful.” I told her not almost, just painful to which she replied “no pain no gain. I’ve got to get back to training your stamina.”

We kissed, rinsed and dried off, deciding to spend our last couple hours sipping coffee in our robes. She told me to keep the cage off for a bit until things settled down as it didn’t look like I’d be able to fit back in anytime soon. While we were busy doing absolutely nothing she sat on my lap straddling me and coyly said “I think you need to thank me for everything I’ve done for you this weekend.” I thanked her for the wonderful weekend and all the time we spent together. “And?” she asked. I asked her what I was forgetting. “I let you lick my pussy. I let you fuck me. I let you watch me orgasm over and over.” She had a big smile on her face as she said it. I played along and thanked her for all those things one by one. As I did she pulled open my robe and slowly mounted me, moaning louder and louder with every word out of my mouth. Then she said “Can you handle this after all the edging?” I told her I was determined to, there was no way I was going to lose my birthday orgasm. “I bet. But I was thinking if it’s all about me why should you get an orgasm on your birthday?” She’s still slowly riding me as we’re having this conversation and I can tell it’s exciting her. I told her that was what she chose; my birthday and our anniversary. Her pace quickened. “I really like you pining for me. I think you should wait to orgasm on our anniversary.” I laughed at the comment and she continued. “Oh baby, I’m serious. I think twice a year is too many orgasms for you. Once is perfect.” My heart raced, my stomach dropped and I asked her how serious she was. She got close to my ear, slowly grinding me and whispered in a soft and seductive tone “I want you to stay full of desire for me so I want you to wait until July to orgasm, one full year. After that you only get one orgasm every year. It might always be our anniversary or it might be Christmas or some random Tuesday but only one.” With that she bounced up and down on me fast and hard, looked me in the eyes and said “now I want you to watch me orgasm. Watch me enjoy it while you hold yours in.” She barely finished the sentence before she had one of the biggest (and wettest) orgasms I’ve seen recently. It either lasted for almost a minute or it was one right after the other. I don’t know and she said later neither did she.

As I drove us home I decided to bring up the once a year thing. It seemed such a spur of the moment decision for her and I thought maybe discussing it when she wasn’t in the middle of having sex would give me an honest answer, perhaps even a retraction. We all say and do things when we’re really aroused so it could have just been her libido getting the better of her. I was blunt, she was as well.

“Are you really going to keep me to one orgasm a year?”
“Yes.”
“Will I at least get to ruin unlocked occasionally?”
“No.”
“So I only get one full orgasm a year now and that’s the only time I’ll get to cum with an erection?”
“Yes.”
“And if I have an accident?”
“I hate that word. It’s not an accident. You’re cumming when you’re not allowed to, not peeing your pants.”
“OK, so if I cum when I’m not allowed to?”
“Then it’ll be two years.”
“You’d be fine with that?”
“I would”
“So, and don’t read into this, it’s just curiosity, why leave it at one a year? Why not just take them away completely?”
“Because you need something to look forward to and I still enjoy seeing you orgasm. Very much so in fact and there are times I really miss watching you experience that so I want to have that possibility. That being said I may want you to orgasm but I’ve learned I don’t NEED you to, I only need you to make me orgasm.”

There was a strictness to her tone but it was always playful. The conversation then turned to favorite moments from the weekend, future plans and general life stuff. Typical travel chat. Funny how that happens, the shift from one part of our relationship to another.

As I think back while typing this out I really can’t be too surprised by what transpired. My wife knows how to play this game now. She sees how denial magnifies everything for me and as I stated earlier, we all do and say things when we’re really aroused. As I am in a constant state of arousal she knows there isn’t much that I’ll say no to or argue about. It’s no coincidence that she decided to drop the “once a year” news while we were in the middle of not just having sex, but unexpected and extraordinarily hot sex. Her arousal gave her the motivation to say it and mine kept me so focused on what was going on that I couldn’t argue. I just accepted it so I wouldn’t ruin the moment. By the time my mind had caught up to my body it was too late.

While I’ll survive the downgrade to one my biggest worry is making it an entire year without any accidents (she may hate the word but it fits as far as I’m concerned). My wife isn’t exactly concerned about where I’m at when she’s on her way to, or in the midst of, an orgasm and she doesn’t let up just because I’m struggling. In fact it seems to only fuel her excitement. Last weekend there were a couple of moments that I got dangerously close to losing it and there’s so many variables that affect my stamina. How long since I’ve been out, what my wife says, what she’s wearing, what position I’m in and so on. So while my wife tells me I need to be able to control myself the truth is I only have so much control over it and she knows it, which might be the point. To give me the opportunity for something that is near impossible to obtain but in the end she’s able to say it wasn’t her fault, I did it to myself. I don’t even know that she’d skip the orgasm for me especially now that there’s only one. It may just be part of the game we’re playing; keep me so fearful of cumming that if I do I don’t enjoy it and we’re both certain it was unintentional. In all honesty though I don’t know. I know the woman so well but when it comes to this I really have a hard time reading her or anticipating what she may do or say. I certainly didn’t think I’d come back from our getaway having my orgasms cut in half.

It seems every time I add to this journal there’s a new rule or experience that takes me by surprise. It’s both a good and bad thing. I spend a lot of time venting about how hard it is, how much I struggle, etc. because I don’t have anyone in my real life that I can share this with so this is the only place I can unpack my thoughts. The reality is though that the drawbacks are minimal compared to the benefits. We’re closer, more playful and a lot more physical than before. My wife often jokes when she’s telling me stories of problems or arguments other couples we know are having that “I want to just tell her to lock him up”. Granted we didn’t have any issues prior, and I doubt it would solve anything major, but I get where she’s coming from. For all its frustration and torture, this lifestyle can be pretty amazing.

 

Housewarming Gift

Perception is reality to most people. If we feel a certain way about something it really doesn’t matter if those feelings make sense, they’re valid because that’s what we believe. In the case of my wife it would seem that this new stricter version of herself is a direct result of how her perception of things has changed.

We had ended up in a discussion about how different things have become within the past six months and she told me she has finally realized why it happened. She had said in the past she wanted and needed to be a better keyholder but had a hard time with the mental part of it. Then she had a bit of an epiphany if you could call it that.

She likened our situation to us hypothetically having two different houses and had felt as though she was staying at mine. She was comfortable and could do things freely but it’s furnished the way I want, the bills are in my name, etc. In the end she’s a guest. That’s how she realized she was thinking about chastity. She could do what she wanted but always felt as though she was living in my world. So she decided to move me into her theoretical house. She’s picking out the couch. I can sit on it and hopefully I think it’s comfortable but as long as she does that’s all that matters. It her house. I’m the guest.

It was a lot more detailed of a conversation than that but that’s the Cliffs Notes. While it was a strange analogy it got her feelings across easily and I understood exactly what she meant. I had discovered chastity and even though we started together and I’ve given up my say in anything pertaining to it she’s always had this part of her that felt like it was my thing or our thing, not just her thing. I introduced it so therefore I own some part of it. So she took stock some time ago and realized (decided?) that it was in fact her thing now and I was just going to be along for the ride. We ended our conversation with her saying “and you’ll find out just how much I believe you’re now living in my house tomorrow.” It was playfully ominous.

The following morning I waited for whatever she had meant to be said or done and nothing. We went to work, came home, played house and still nothing. I asked her at some point when I’d find out what she meant and she just replied “when I’m ready. Don’t ask again.” Finally that evening when the house was empty she beckoned me upstairs. We kissed, we touched and it led to my being unlocked with a long and very hot session of sex. She of course orgasmed over and over and before the final one she said “I want you to fuck me like you’re about to cum” so I slammed into her hard and deep for as long as I dared and was eventually told to go to the edge which caused her to have her incredible finale. Once she recovered she told me to sit in the chair, threw on a robe and told me to stay there until she returned.

A few minutes later she was back with a bag of frozen peas, a bowl, a spoon and a small bag. My stomach dropped as I saw the items. It didn’t take a genius to know what she had in store, the bag being the only mystery. She placed the peas between my legs and waited quietly and patiently, occasionally checking me to see if they had done their job. As soon as I was ready she pushed the cage back on me, locked it and said in a soft and sexy voice “now that you’re locked back up I can ruin you. While I do I want you to think about how only minutes ago you were hard and you had to go back in this cage to cum because I don’t allow you to cum when you’re hard anymore. I’m going to ruin you until you’ve emptied everything out into this bowl and then I’m going to feed it to you one spoonful at a time until you’ve finished it all. And…” she picked up the bag and held it up “…you’re going to see how serious I’m taking this now.”

She started by gently running her fingers over me, teasing the spaces between the bars and then asked me a question. “When I told you to fuck me like you were going to cum how come you didn’t?” I was taken aback and said I did, I went hard and fast and she obviously loved it. She said “I know and I did love it, so much, but that wasn’t you fucking me like you’re about to cum. When you’re about to orgasm I lose you. You zone out into your own pleasure and afterwards I lose you again when you have your drop. You didn’t fuck me like you were going to cum because you couldn’t and I love it. That was a big turning point for me when I realized I get to have all your attention from start to finish. I don’t lose you, you’re totally focused on me. By taking away your pleasure all you have to focus on is mine and that is why this is going to happen every time. You’re going to cum caged so you don’t enjoy an erection, it’s going to be ruined so you don’t enjoy cumming and you’re going to clean up so you don’t enjoy the relief. The only purpose is to allow you to fuck me as long as I want and for me to always have your full attention.” She was still playing with me and both her touch and how she was talking to me was arousing me to almost maddening levels. “Today I’m ruining you for another reason though. I want you empty so you’re not rock hard when I take this cage off you. It’ll be easier for me to put this on.” With that she pulled a new cage out of the bag and sat it on the arm of the chair. It was another Jailbird, the same as I was locked in but with one major difference. It was shorter. Quite a bit. There were no second set of bars, just the part that the head of my penis rests in. No space for the shaft. I stared at it in disbelief. She stopped touching me and picked it up, turning it in her hand as she examined it. “So because I took ownership of this I wanted you in something that I picked out and not something we picked out. I didn’t want to be swayed by your opinion. I thought about what I wanted and it was a cage you can clean without ever having to take it off but also one small enough that it really limits your ability to get hard. I want your erections to be a special treat only I can give to you. So a few months ago I ordered this. The girth is the same but I picked the length.” She paused and looked at me and asked what I thought. All I could mutter was “it’s so small.” She smiled and said “I know, that’s the point. What will be in it belongs to me and I think this will make sure you and I never forget that. Now I want you to think about how after you clean up your cum this is going on you. Maybe that will make this ruin even more unenjoyable.”

She put the cage back on the arm, went and got the vibrator, wedged the bowl between my legs and began the process. She managed three ruined orgasm before I was empty and unable to produce anymore. As has been the case all I could think about is what’s going to happen afterwards and how helpless I was stop or delay filling up that bowl. She couldn’t help but make sure I knew just how much I had cum saying “my god babe, that was a lot. I hope you’re hungry.” She scooped up the first one, said “open” and pushed it in my mouth. It was terrible. The second one she told me to look at her and slowly lifted the spoon, playfully tipped it over so the contents spilled back in the bowl and repeated a couple times before it ended up in my mouth. Even more terrible. Then the bowl was set aside and I was unlocked again. She slowly removed the cage and then rested the new one on the head of my semi-flaccid penis. “Are you ready? This will probably be tight.” It was a rhetorical question as she immediately pushed it all the way on and started to set the screw. I could feel how bunched up I was inside of it and even though I knew it was only a matter of maybe a .25 or .50 inch difference it felt like it was way more than that. Once it was locked she sat back and admired her work. “Oh wow. That looks so much smaller but it still looks good. It’s perfect. It doesn’t make you look like you don’t have a penis, it makes it look like I contained a wild animal and that is so fucking hot. Take a look.” I looked down and saw just the head of my penis, nothing more. It looked just like it felt; tight and completely restricted. I could already feel the difference and it felt like I wasn’t caged before; this was what being caged was like and I probably wouldn’t forget it.

She used her tongue and finger to play with me and get me physically aroused again, poking and prodding me and reveling in the fact that even as I swelled I was still malleable. It was truly stopping even the hint of erection. Then to my surprise she grabbed the bowl again and said “time to finish your snack.” I replied that I thought I had finished it and she said “oh no, I told you it was a lot. You’re only like halfway done. Now open up.” Two more spoonfuls later the bowl was finally empty. She leaned over, kissed me ever so passionately and said “welcome to my house my love.”

 

@MaggotNub it definitely is a “be careful what you wish for” situation. While I’m incredibly happy that my wife has found her way in all of this there’s also some obvious difficulties for me that come with it. I liken it to use sharing a bottle of wine; the more she pours for herself the less that’s left for me. Most of the time, probably due to the fact that I’m in a state of almost constant arousal, it’s bearable and even enjoyable. But when it’s tough it’s maddening.
I’m sure you and your wife will grow into your own unique dynamic as time goes on. One of the most interesting things about this lifestyle is that it’s seemingly so different for everyone. None of us do it the same way. I am far from experienced as we’ve been doing this for less than two years but I have learned that by letting her do her own thing at her own pace, along with a lot of open and honest communication, has allowed my wife to find her way with a whole lot of confidence. She’s doing what she wants because she wants to and she can. Your wife will grow into exactly the kind of keyholder she wants to be. Most likely not like mine or anyone else’s, but she’ll be yours and you’ll probably love it and hate it.
Best of luck to you both.

 

Normally I don’t post an entry so quickly but due to the recent big (or little) change to my situation I need to unpack some of what’s stuck in my head. I’ve been locked in my new smaller cage for more than a week now. There are actually a few upsides to it. Unbelievably it’s easier to clean while wearing. I assume that since there’s less cage it’s easier to reach all the interior spots and since I can manipulate the skin of my penis I can get everything spotless with minimal effort. Drying is easier as well.

Mornings have been a little easier also. I’m still waking up early but I think it’s more out of habit now. There’s not that painful sting anymore. Morning attempts are still uncomfortable pressure-wise but I don’t think it’s waking me up anymore, instead I’m waking up to it. Probably because there isn’t much to it now.

As for the downsides, the first is obvious. It’s a smaller cage. The ability to swell is almost minimal and there is zero chance of an actual erection, even a sad attempt like I used to get in the other cage. I can feel the pressure when one attempts to start but it doesn’t go any further than that. There are times I’ll look at myself when I get that feeling just to get a visual of what’s going on and it’s always, for lack of a better term, disappointing. It feels like my penis is no longer mine. It won’t exist and will have no function until my wife unlocks it.

Because of the extraordinarily snug fit there are some torturous side effects as well. First is the unintentional stimulation. I will rub against my pants almost constantly which leads to an endless cycle of try to get hard, can’t, leak, and on and on. As this continues the torment gets worse as the leaking works as a lubricant which allows the very tip of my penis to squeeze out a little between the bars increasing the stimulation from rubbing, causing more leaking, then more squeezing. I’ll end up with the tip ballooning a bit outside the cage until it’s effectively wedged into place and starts to hurt. It’s like I’m getting punished for daring to try to get an erection. This stops the arousal and eventually everything goes back to normal. Then the whole process will start again and around we go. I brought this up to my wife and she reiterated what she said prior. “If there’s any medical danger then of course I’ll take it off. If it’s just uncomfortable or hurts then you’ll have to deal with it.” Needless to say the cage has remained on. I never thought I’d be at a point where pain or discomfort, especially in that area of my body, were ok with my wife but she has said she realizes that caging it will inevitably lead to a little of both and it’s a necessary evil in order to keep things the way she wants.

In all honesty I could have never imagined things would progress to this, especially her making the decision on her own. I’ve always been the defacto researcher for our sex life, chastity included. She’d mention something and ask me to look it up or order it. She doesn’t go on any forums or websites. I found out she knew the measurements for the original cage by coming across the receipt we had tossed in the drawer and forgotten about. When she decided to downsize she knew just where to look and exactly what to order. She didn’t need my help, nor did she want it. This was her decision.

Yesterday I sent her a text about how frustrating it is to feel almost nothing and she replied only with a happy face. I followed up asking if this is really how I’m supposed to live my life from now on and her reply was “Yep. Better get used to it love.” For some reason that innocuous sentence stuck with me and after thinking about it a while I realized why and what has really shifted recently. My wife loves me, cares about me and respects me just as much as I do her. She just decided she’s not going to let that stop her anymore.

 

I told her she can do as she pleases from the start because that’s how it needed to be for this to work, but never imagined the hole I was digging with those words. Things have changed a lot over time. A whole lot.
As for the cage, it’s the Mini Jailbird. You can see some photos on the Mature Metal website.

 

On a Positive Note


The vast majority of my entries are either just factual (at least as much as possible given how memory works; I’m sure quotes are not perfectly accurate for example) or me talking about how difficult this journey has been. That’s what I primarily use this journal for. To get things off my chest as a sort of coping mechanism. Therapy without the shrink. That’s not the entire story of our life however so I decided to write something more focused on the positive side of things.

Right off the bat I’ll say that the physical relationship between my wife and I is so much different than it used to be. It’s not that there was anything wrong with it prior. My wife has always considered me attentive in the bedroom and I’ve always been proud of that. I did my best to ensure she enjoyed herself as much, if not more, than me. We were intimate fairly often and I don’t think either of us left feeling dissatisfied. The difference now is there isn’t any pressure or disappointment. She is free to flirt or tease without ulterior motives and even want me one minute and then change her mind the next. Instead of worrying about giving me the wrong idea she does whatever comes to mind in the moment and it reminds me of dating her before sex was on the table. Every touch and look was exciting and it is again. There’s that hopeful desperation that you usually only get to enjoy as a young inexperienced person or in the very beginning of a new relationship.

The “it’s our secret” part is fun too. The veiled comments, the looks and even when something inane is mentioned but we can make it into an innuendo only we understand is great. Seeing our friends looking at us like we’re crazy when my wife will make a comment to me, or vice versa, is amusing as is laughing about it later.

I also enjoy the challenge of it. Always have. That’s not to say it’s been easy, far from it, but when I realize how long I’ve gone without there’s a sense of accomplishment mixed in with all the frustration. Even today looking at my counter and knowing it’s been over six months since I’ve had an orgasm, while I feel a longing for one I’m also oddly proud that I’ve managed to go so long without that experience.

One benefit my wife likes to remind me of whenever I voice my desire for an erection or an orgasm is how good it will feel. “Think about how good that orgasm will feel after a year” or “I bet it feels amazing to get hard after so long.” She’s absolutely right. I’ve never appreciated an erection as much as I do now and while this will be my first full year without an orgasm, my last one after just about six months was amazing. I savored every second of the experience and while I sadly can’t remember how it felt I do remember how much I enjoyed it. The next one should be even better and will probably feel like orgasming for the first time again.

There’s sexual satisfaction, or at least excitement, for me as well. I’ve always been able to switch and although I definitely leaned more towards the dominant role I did enjoy being dominated on occasion. I’m in charge of most of my world and the freedom of not being the boss for a while was nice. Due to the nature of this lifestyle I experience that feeling more often than not and the fact that I have such a dominant personality magnifies those moments when my wife tells me no or makes me do something and I have no choice but to acquiesce. It’s a turn on for both of us.

Finally I enjoy my wife’s excitement and drive around chastity and all it brings. She was in her glory pulling out the newest cage. There was a smug satisfaction when she was spooning the bowl after my ruin. She cums so incredibly hard when she knows I’m at the edge and can go no further because only she can experience an orgasm. She is happy in my denial. If I imagine this as weights on a scale there’s no amount of negatives for me that would outweigh the positives for her.

Despite all of the things I don’t enjoy about chastity and all the freedoms I’ve been forced to give up there are so many things I’ve gained either personally or vicariously through my wife. In a perfect world we’d still get to enjoy all of those benefits without the need for denial, rules or even a cage but those things cannot co-exist. If I really analyze and take stock of one life versus the other I think I’m happier with myself and my marriage living this way and I know my wife is. To quote Theodore Roosevelt “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty…” Chastity hits on all three of those notes (sometimes simultaneously) and despite my complaints I think that this is something that is totally worth doing.

 

It’s funny you should mention this as it was a topic of conversation a couple nights ago. She was wondering why, if women can have multiple orgasms and have arguably the only body part devoted purely to pleasure (the clitoris), have men always been the ones who sex revolves around. Not that she feels men aren’t deserving of pleasure but it doesn’t make sense to her that our sexual satisfaction should trump a women’s. She ended by saying the world would make more sense if more men were caged but since she doesn’t have that power she’s going to “do what I can for my own pussy and keep my husband locked.”

 

Crime and Punishment


Like all relationships my marriage is not perfect. We have our disagreements, get angry at each other and sometimes don’t communicate well. Taking the time to talk and express our frustrations will always set things right though. We’ve always been very good at that. Our chastity relationship isn’t as simple because quite frankly it’s not a partnership like our marriage is. My feelings and needs matter as much as hers in our marriage but in the end only hers matter when it comes to chastity. That makes it difficult to deal with issues because there shouldn’t be any disagreements to begin with. She’s technically never in the wrong.

We’ve noticed over the past couple of years that it seems most couples who have made this a serious part of their lives have some sort of punishment routine. Spanking, caning, tasks, etc. Maybe it's prevalent due to there being defined rules and clarity around who’s in charge? It makes sense. If I break a law I’m not going to sit down with the officer, talk about it nicely and then once we've vented everything is better. I’m going to get fined or get arrested. Clear rules and defined consequences for breaking them.

My wife has never been keen on punishing me. It’s been discussed, usually when we talk about different things I’ve read on here or other forums. She’s not much for browsing chastity sites herself but she does enjoy hearing about and discussing what I've come across from time to time, sometimes even asking if I've read anything interesting. Her reasons for avoiding any discipline are understandable. It’s a difficult thing to do in the moment for one. She can’t just stop and punish me when I’m out of line as that’s not really feasible, especially with kids running around. She doesn’t want to be punished herself either (like keeping me locked for a long duration), and wouldn’t want it to be anything potentially sexual because then it’s no longer a punishment and I will just want to repeat what I did wrong instead of correct it. Finally, she doesn’t want to have to stop whatever she’s doing just to spend time to correct my behavior. It would just feel like a chore for her.

Because of all that it’s never been part of her repertoire despite the fact that she’s often mentioned the need to figure out some way to correct me. While I’m usually pretty good at staying in my role there are times I will push too hard, get annoyed when she says no or make advances when she’s obviously not in the mood. She put it very simply recently: “I’ve finally gotten to the point where I don’t feel guilty about being selfish or saying no so every time you question me or get irritated it aggravates the hell out of me. It makes it difficult being the keyholder and that is the exact opposite of how it should feel. It should be the easiest part of my life.” She's not wrong.

All this came to a head last week. Work was stressful and I was extra sexually frustrated so I came on really strong. I wanted... something. Anything. My wife was not in the mood and just wanted to relax after her own busy day but despite saying so I persisted. She finally had enough and sternly said “I said no. That’s the end of it” which finally got me to stop and apologize. But the damage had been done and unbeknownst to me she spent the next few hours stewing and and then mulling over her options. Later that night everything was seemingly back to normal, we were having fun and being flirty when she said to me “come upstairs”. I was excited walking up the steps with her and when we got into the bedroom she undressed me and told me to sit on the bed. My hopes were as high as they could be.

Her tone suddenly got intensely serious and that excitement I felt vanished. I was now worried. “You pissed me off today. If that cage is going to continue to be part of our life, and it will, I’ve got to do something about it. I’ve been considering something and now I’m done considering, I’m doing.” She told me she got an idea from something I had told her I read about on this very website and pulled out one of her dildos. It’s similar in length and girth to me which strangely enough is why she doesn’t really like it, saying it shines a light on the fact that it’s not me and messes with her head too much to enjoy it. She put some lube on it, held it by the base on the chair in the room pointing straight up and said “I want you to come here and sit on this.” I suddenly knew exactly what story she was referring to and I protested. I didn't want to do it and besides it was bit. Too big. She replied “I’ve had you in my ass lots of times and you’re bigger than this. Not by much, but still bigger, so if I can do it so can you. Let’s go” Her tone and demeanor told me she was in no mood to fuck around so I very slowly and reluctantly walked over and began to do as she said. Once I had managed to get the tip in she let go and sat on the bed across from me. “All the way down. Take as much time as you need. I'll wait.” I needed a lot of time. It was longer and thicker than anything she had ever used on me before.

I struggled and had to go slowly. I remember her lowering her head a couple times checking on my progress, how much space remained between my ass and the seat. I remember feeling like that was the most humiliating part for some reason. Once my ass was planted firmly on the chair and it was entirely inside me she said "you’re going to sit here and not move. No phone, no TV and no talking. When I decide you can get up I’ll let you know and then you can clean everything up.” She asked how I felt. I told her definitely not good and she asked “not good you don’t like it or not good you’re going to need a doctor?” I said I really didn’t like it and she said “good, you're not supposed to. Put your hands on the armrests and don’t move.” Then she got up, turned off all the lights but one and walked out, locking the door behind her.

I remember looking at the clock. I remember the inescapable discomfort, the humiliation. I remember how unbelievably big it felt. Every time I shifted it just felt worse. It was unlike anything I had experienced before and I was stuck alone in a silent room with only my thoughts to distract me, and they weren’t much help. Time went slowly and I kept checking the clock wondering how long she was going to make me sit there like that. After about 15 minutes she returned but before I had a chance to get excited she said “you’re not done yet”, grabbed a sweater and went back downstairs. Eventually after about 30 minutes she popped her head in and said “your punishment’s over” and left again. I started to slowly stand up and remove the thing I’d been sitting on for a half an hour. I was sore and it was a little difficult to walk. I went in the bathroom, cleaned everything up, got dressed and went downstairs, ignoring my wife’s satisfied grin as I struggled to sit down next to her.

“How was it?” she asked. I told her it was terrible and I was glad it was over. Her response was not what I was hoping for. “It’s only over for today. You’re going to do that once a month.” I’m sure my face went red as I can remember feeling the heat and I don’t think I said anything even though I wanted to. “So while you were up there I did a little thinking. One time won't change anything. You need consistent consequences and I need it to be easy. For me, not you. And this was incredibly easy. You’ll pick a day every month and tell me what it is. When that day comes you’ll remind me in the morning. At some point, whenever I decide it’s time, you’ll sit in the chair again. Same dildo, same rules. You’ll put on the lube and you’ll handle the cleanup. The only things I’ll do is tell you when it’s time, watch you sit and tell you when it’s over. Other than that I’ll just go do what I want. Watch TV, go to the store, read a book. You’ll start over at 15 minutes every month but it will be longer depending on how much you’ve irritated me. If you’ve been good 15 minutes and you’re done. If you’ve been a jerk, well, I’d say get comfy but I don’t think you’d be able to.” She giggled at her own joke. I did not.

I couldn’t believe she was seriously going to make this a regular occurrence. It was beyond anything she’s ever done. I tried my best to change her mind but she wasn’t budging. “Look, I told you how difficult you make things sometimes. I can’t be the keyholder and then have you push back against my choices. That’s not how this works. I’ve been trying to think of a way to punish you when you don’t listen to me for a while now but everything I thought of was way too involved for me or too sexual to be a real punishment. Then you told me about that stool thing and I thought, that’s almost zero effort for me and I can’t think of anything worse than having something in my ass without getting any sexual gratification from it.” I gave it one last try to change her mind. I asked her if there was anything I could do. Her reply was “what you can do is tell me what day in March you want your next punishment.” I picked a day and she said "you've got it, put it in you calendar and remind me when it's here."

Later that night in bed she clarified a few things. First of she will never tell me how long I’ll be sitting there, I’ll just have to wait until she tells me it’s over. She feels that I should have an idea of whether it’s going to be a short or a long time before I even start and if I don’t then I haven’t learned anything. Second that there will never be any sexual component to it. She will never touch me or ask me to touch her before, during or after. This is strictly a punishment. The final thing she said was actually kind of sweet given the circumstances. “I want to be clear that this is only about chastity. If we have issues in our marriage we will handle them like husband and wife. I promise I will never use this to punish you for forgetting the trash or not making the bed. That part of our life will always be separate.” She gave me a kiss and fell asleep fairly quickly. It took me a while longer

It’s now almost a week later and things have been fairly normal. I stopped feeling sore after about two or three days. My wife noticed, I assume either from my walk or ability to sit easily, and she teased me about I should enjoy not having as sore ass while I can. Other than that quip she's been gracious about the entire thing and hasn't brought it up. I’ve been much more careful in my interactions and taking the time to read her cues, trying my best to keep the next round to that 15 minutes and no more. I don’t think I’m suddenly going to change because of this, as much as I wish that were the case. It's going to take time and work. Obviously my wife doesn’t either or she wouldn’t have decided to make it a monthly thing. I know she could change her mind but I don’t think she will. It’s too easy for her. It doesn’t cost her any time or effort and certainly has an impact on me.

The thing I find most surprising about the whole ordeal isn’t what she chose to do or even the experience. It was that I willingly did it despite the fact that I really, really didn’t want to. This was the first time in our chastity life something was done that wasn’t for someone's pleasure. It didn’t excite her and it certainly didn’t excite me. It wasn't about sex or anything fun, it was purely discipline. That's why I think I was compelled to listen. I had done something that went against the dynamic I promised her I would follow and I had to pay for it. Something had to be done for things to improve. I think deep down I knew that and that is why I accepted it.

What have I learned? Number one my wife is absolutely not fucking around anymore. Number two is that I can be more oppositional than I thought I was. Some of my time in that chair was spent thinking about how I got there and there were a lot of examples I came up with. Too many. Finally, and maybe the most important lesson, when my wife asks “have you read anything interesting on those forums of yours?” I probably shouldn't tell her anything that could give her any ideas.

 

It’s definitely a fine line and somehow she found it. The way she went about the whole thing made it uncomfortable at best and there were moments when it was nearly unbearable. She’s also stated that there will be absolutely nothing sexual before, during or after. Her goal is to keep the experience free of anything exciting or pleasurable in my mind so I never find myself enjoying any part of it. Strictly a punishment, nothing more. It’s working as intended so far as two weeks out from the next one I’m already dreading it.

 

Excellent advice but I think I have a long time before that’s even a possibility since it’s not nearly often enough to get used to it. Plus I probably won’t have to tell her, I’m sure she’ll be able to tell by my face. I think it’d be hard to fake that kind of reaction.

 

I agree completely. Her confidence these days is extraordinarily sexy to me. She’s very driven and when she decides she’s going to master something she eventually will, it’s just a matter of time.

For some reason it only shows for me if I click the 3 bars on the top right, choose “shop” then “chastity devices”. It’s the same as the micro except for a second ring at its base which adds the 1/4 inch.
I think its easier for me to clean because there isn’t much area of the cage to cover and since it’s so small there aren’t any places hard to get to with a finger or swab. Even though I’m pretty squished in there I can pull my skin against my groin to expose everything. I initially thought it would be harder, or impossible, but it’s not. Even my wife had assumed I’d need to take it off occasionally to clean but of course only told me that after I told her it was possible, so I missed that opportunity