Me, myself and her

Oh my god, incredibly so. Aside from less pressure in my abdomen there’s zero relief, and even that’s fleeting. My wife edged me three times this morning just because she wants to make sure I don’t get too comfortable and I can already feel it building back up.
I’m beginning to understand why dogs hump anything they can.

 

And just like that, I got a text that she’s decided she’s going to delay my real orgasm two weeks. I asked her if she realized that’s going to mean I’ll have gone over 200 days without one. Her reply: “Really? That’s a long time. That’s definitely my decision then. Have a wonderful day babe, I love you”.

 

It has been quite some time since I've updated my journal, or even been on the site. A combination of an incredibly busy life as well as chastity going from a new and exciting adventure to the way we live our lives has left me less obsessed with it, for lack of a better term. My wife is still enjoying it, as am I (most of the time), it's just less "holy shit I'm in a cage" and more "oh look, I'm locked up. Just like the day before". I know I make it sound boring but it's definitely not. I'd have to assume it's simply a healthy progression to a new lifestyle. As I'm updating 3 months in one go I'm going to just put in the highlights. Obviously I may get some details or dialogue slightly wrong given the timeframe but I'll stay as accurate as I can.

New Year, Same Situation

It was a week before my seven weeks were up, which was exciting not only because the denial was really getting to me but also because there was the possibility of a real orgasm at the end. At this point it was over 200 days since I had one and I really, really wanted it. Badly. The kids were out and my wife had gone upstairs to put away laundry and called me up to give her a hand. I entered the bedroom to find her folding clothes completely naked with a giant grin on her face. I immediately went over to kiss her and she pushed me away and said "I wanted help with the laundry. What did you think I called you up here for?" So we folded and put it all away, her naked and grinning the entire time. She can be such a tease.

Once we were finished she laid on the bed and said "that was so exhausting. You should take your clothes off and relax with me". I did and we cuddled and kissed for a bit which eventually led to my face between her legs and her orgasming a few times. She then unlocked me and got into her favorite chair so she could have some more with me inside her until I hit the edge and went back down on her until I was calm enough to continue, back and forth a few times. This went on for what I'd wager was about an hour (it certainly could have been less, but in my mind it felt like an eternity) when she was close to another of her countless orgasms and told me "ruin inside me, I want to cum filled up".

I've become very aware of the conditioning I'm experiencing. I can generally last for a good amount of time but the moment she tells me to ruin or go to the edge, it's almost instantaneous. She's figured it out as well and will demand it when she wants it. "Hit the edge" is a phrase I'm hearing more and more in our encounters.

Anyway, her wish was my command. The ruin was exactly what I expected. An exciting buildup to an otherwise anti-climatic finish. Hers on the other hand was intense and although frustrating for me, wonderful to watch. In that moment I realized that in order to reap the benefits of denying my orgasms she had also given up something she enjoys. It really puts into perspective how much she gains and how much fun she's having in this whole dynamic that she would willingly go without something that so obviously increases her pleasure in favor of the perks that come with chastity.

Afterwards she sat back and basked and I in turn sat back on the edge of the bed. I don't know if it was out of mercy or she was simply overwhelmed by our sexcapades but there was no request for me to clean her up which I was grateful for as I watched how much of me was dripping out of her onto the towel on the floor. A few quiet minutes had passed and she got up and pushed me back on the bed and knelt between my legs. She started kissing and licking me then looked up and said "since I ended your denial a little early I'll give you a chance to orgasm early too. If you can". I was pretty sure this was a setup. Although I was still very much aroused I was fairly empty from the ruin and the long encounter had left me a little sore and somewhat numb but I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity. Then she did something that confirmed she was planning on making it difficult if not impossible. She took one of my balls in her mouth, stretched it as far from my body as she could, and began sucking almost violently. Then she grasped my penis as tightly as she could and stroked me hard and fast. I was sticky and dry and the pleasure was far outweighed by the discomfort.

This went on for a good five minutes and needless to say no matter how much I tried, there was no way I was going to orgasm. It took all I had not to beg her to stop and honestly I worried if I did she would double down and get even more into what she was doing. She finally let up and said "I guess you didn't want an orgasm" and came up and cuddled next to me and kissed me. It's amazing to watch her go from kinky sadist to loving wife in seconds. It's always been something we've been able to do easily in our relationship; pushing boundaries but always going back to "us".

The following weekend we decided to have a lazy Saturday. Chores were all done on Friday and we both needed a day of as little as possible. Unfortunately due to our respective careers we are both early risers so I was up at around 5am. I made some coffee, brought it to bed and we put on the TV and laid in bed relaxing. I must've relaxed a little too well because I ended up falling asleep again which is a rare occurence. I was woken up to her pulling the cage off of me and before I could get my bearings she had me in her mouth and started giving me a slow, sensual blowjob. It felt incredible and she took her time letting me enjoy every moment, such a vast departure from the week prior. Eventually I was getting close to the end of my journey and because she still hadn't spun after the prior weeks ruined orgasm I figured I wasn't technically in denial so I took a risk and asked her "edge or ruin?" Much to my surprise she replied "orgasm. You can let it go".

Let me tell you, the feeling of a real live orgasm after 200+ days of not having one is nothing short of extraordinary. My entire body lit up and I distinctly remember three explosions of cum in quick succession and the feeling of her swallowing each time. I had to grab the pillow and hold it to my face in order to keep myself from letting everyone else in the house know what I was experiencing. She continued kissing and licking me gently until I had gone soft and said "thank you, I missed that taste". I told her it was literally my pleasure and we both laughed. Some time passed and she grabbed my phone and spun out of my view asking me if I want the result or if she should spin again. I decided to take the first spin and was pleasantly informed that it was for only 4 weeks. It's a strange world I live in where I describe a month of denial as pleasant but it is what it is. As an added bonus we had a weekend getaway booked that coincided with the end of the 4 weeks.

Vacation

Four weeks had passed. We unfortunately didn't get a lot of time to ourselves. Sick kids, busy jobs and some family drama left us exhausted and stressed most days so our weekend had become not just a fun adventure but a mental health necessity. We had booked a nice little bed and breakfast that had an incredible amount of things to do within walking distance. Once we were checked in and unpacked we walked around for a while, had one of the best dinners in recent memory and finally got back to turn in for the night.

We got into bed and she said "I need an orgasm. I want you to kneel between my legs, touch me and watch while you stay caged". She almost always wants me inside her so it's very rare that I remain locked up which made it a more frustrating experience than I usually have. She had her orgasms while I strained and dripped, stopping in between each one to rub me in between her legs so I could feel how wet she was. She finally had her fill and pulled my head between her legs and told me to lick her clean. She fell asleep almost immediately after and I spent some time waiting for my cage to stop being so damn tight.

We woke up early (of course) and hung out in the room waiting for breakfast to be served while sipping on coffee. We started talking about what we each wanted to do that day and in the middle of the conversation she grabbed the key and began pulling off my pants. She continued talking to me without missing a beat and pulled out the long silicone sounds she evidently packed and laying them out methodically then pulling off the cage. Finally I decided to break off the conversation and ask what she was doing. She replied "It's been four weeks, I'm going to ruin you. But since it hasn't been that long I want to make sure it's not too enjoyable". With that she inserted the first one going in and out with it while slowly stroking me.

After a bit she moved on to the next one continuing in the same manner and once she had finished with that the final one went in and was left fully inserted instructing me "tell me when you're ready to cum and I'll pull it out while you ruin". When the moment came she slowly pulled it out of me and everything emptied behind it. I've had plenty of ruined orgasms and this one was definitely the least pleasurable. Every other, despite not having the stimulation or explosiveness of an actual orgasm, at least gave me the slight feeling of ejaculation. This time I didn't even have that. In fact if it weren't for the puddle on the towel on my stomach I wouldn't have even known I came at all. When she asked what it felt like and I told her she was pleased as that was what she was going for. I was told I could stay unlocked for the weekend as my wife decided she wanted me ready to go whenever she got the urge and didn't want to have to bother with the key.

She kissed me and said "I'm going to spin and then how about we get a shower?". Phone in hand she spun and as usual I could not see the result and was asked if I wanted the first one or for her to go again. I chose to take what we got (it worked out well for me last time) and she read the screen; "key holders choice". The first and only other time this has come up she decided to override it with another spin as she did not want to choose the length of denial. I expected the same this time but was mistaken. She mulled it over for a minute and said "I feel like 4 weeks was too short of a time for you to be denied so... three months. Three months of denial sounds like the right amount of time". I had always wondered if she wasn't allowing me to orgasm because it's what she wanted or because a wheel told her to. With this I had a concrete answer. She could have chosen a day, a week, even a month but instead she went with three months. I told her that would be my longest denial ever as 11 weeks was the previous one. She said she didn't realize but that made her even more certain that she made a good choice since I would go longer than I ever have simply because she decided I would.

We showered together, had breakfast and then explored the town. Throughout the day we would stop back at the room and she would either edge me or tell me to give her an orgasm, sometimes both. This continued the next day as well but eventually we had to leave. It was a long drive back and she fell asleep as I drove us home. It's one of those little moments that I love, seeing her cuddled up in the car while I'm getting us to where we're going. We got back safely, unpacked, got the kids and returned to real life. That night we had sex one last time before she locked me back up. She told me one of her favorite things about chastity is that when she wants to be done we stop. There was no way we could have spent four days having sex multiple times each day before because she would end up being too sore making sure I was satisfied and I would eventually have needed some time to regain my libido. Now she can get what she wants when and how she wants it and never has to go longer than she feels like so it's incredibly freeing.

With that I'm all caught up. My wife has personally decided to deny me until the end of June and while I'm dreading the slow buildup of frustration that I know is coming I'm excited for all the enjoyment I will get to watch her experience. We're slowly approaching our first full year of chastity and even though there was nothing lacking in our relationship prior it most certainly has added something wonderful to what I had thought couldn't get any better.

 

What She Wants, She Wants

I’m consistently fascinated by my wife. She plays so many different roles in our and our families lives and is able to seamlessly switch whenever the need arises or it tickles her fancy. She can go from nurturing mother to strict disciplinarian (sometimes simultaneously when more than one kid is involved), serious adult to silly schoolgirl, loving wife to selfish keyholder and submissive to dominant woman. I’d like to think I’m just as fluid as she is with my roles but I’m not sure I am or I do it nearly as well.

As an example of the latter, last night we were getting ready for bed and she was in just her panties. I walked up behind her and grabbed her telling her I love her ass. She giggled and then I said “speaking of, it’s been a while. If you’re going to end the year having more orgasms than me I think it’s only fair you also end the year having something in your ass more than me”. I was half joking, half communicating my desire in the moment.

She turned around and started to say something but stopped. I pressed and she said “god, I’m going to regret telling you this. I will never unlock you and say please fuck my ass. It won’t ever happen”. Another pause. “That being said, when I leave you unlocked I’m aware of, and expecting, you to take what you want. If that happens to be my ass then it’s my own fault for leaving you unlocked”. The blush on her face and her body language told me she was turned on in the moment. We don’t do anal often but when we do she thoroughly enjoys it. Some of her most powerful orgasms have been had while bent over the bed. I guess being caged I haven’t pursued it as much this past year as I used to but now I have a huge incentive to up my game. Of course a few minutes later while in bed she had to add “I wonder how tough it would be to be in my ass and have to hit the edge and not be allowed to cum. Hmmm. That would probably be torture”. Big smile on her face followed by a nice long kiss. “Goodnight my love”.

Then this morning while having our customary coffee she pulled open my robe and grabbed my cage. I immediately swelled and she examined me, saying “I think my mind is made up. Even a little erection is too much when I have you caged. What do you think?” Before I could even answer she said “doesn’t matter. Tonight I want you to find out what you need to do to get the ball rolling on shortening it. It should only be allowed to get hard when I decide it can which definitely isn’t when I have it locked up”.

She went from expressing her submissive desires to deciding to suppress my sexual functioning even more in the span of hours. Her mercurial nature makes my head spin but it’s one of the endless things I adore about her. Luckily the post I made on the other forum and all the helpful replies have put me at ease on losing 30% of space (I’m a numbers guy so of course I did the math like an idiot), although admittedly I’m still a bit nervous about it. It’s not quite a year yet since this has become a full time thing and the thought losing more “pleasure”, even if it is the frustrating kind, is somewhat nerve wracking. Then again, when my wife decided on 24/7 I wasn’t sure how I’d handle that either and look at me now so I’m fairly confident I’ll be fine. In the end it really doesn’t matter, as she would say. She has the keys and that part of my body is no longer under my control. All I can do is wait for the adjusted cage and plot on her sexy ass.

 

I was definitely a bit distracted for the first few hours of my day. The change in demeanor and tone when she switches to her keyholder persona is jarringly hot. That’s probably the reason for the quick journal entry; I needed to get it out so I could be productive.

 

The cage has been downsized, from 1.75in to 1.25in. A half an inch is such a minuscule amount in the grand scheme of things, but when it comes to restricting my penis it may as well be 100 feet.

I got it a little while ago and my wife was out of town when it arrived. As soon as I texted her it came she told me to send a photo. “Holy shit that’s small. Will you even fit in there?” I replied “do I have a choice?” and immediately got “nope lol” in return.

I expected to get to wait until she was back home before I had to put it on but my phone rang about 15 minutes later. I was told to lock up right then and obliged. It took a bit of effort, both due to the size and the arousal from the commanding tone in her voice, but she engaged me in some mundane conversation which was enough of a distraction to allow me to stuff everything in.

It felt like starting from scratch again. It was tight, restrictive and I could feel it rubbing against me ever so slightly. She asked if it was painful or uncomfortable and I told her no, but it would take some time to adjust. She then added that if I didn’t like it to make sure to tell her. I asked “Why? Would you actually let me have a bigger cage again if I didn’t?” She said “you never know. But probably not. The whole point is for you to not have any room. That’s why I wanted it smaller”.

We chatted a bit before she had to go and told me to send her a photo of me locked up, then to spend some time thinking about all the ways I’m going to make her cum while I don’t so I get nice and aroused, then to send her a picture of what that looks like.

I can still swell a little in this since it’s an open bar design but I sure as hell can no longer get the feeling of the minuscule erection I used to have. There’s a little bit of growth behind my ring still but there’s never been anything satisfying about that. I sent her the requested photos and told her the same, and got one back saying “that’s wonderful”. I followed up with a sarcastic “I’m glad my torment is pleasurable for you” and got “you’re welcome” in return.

We haven’t been intimate much since I’ve had it due to her cycle and both of our schedules but it’s given my penis time to adjust living in its new home since generally sex means I’m out of the cage and in her. The first few morning erection attempts were uncomfortable but I slowly got used to them again. It’s also a really odd to feel like I’m getting hard without actually getting hard even a bit. I guess I never realized how much room that half inch afforded me.

There are two upsides. First of all peeing is a lot less of a hassle since I’m pretty much lined up at all times. There have been slight adjustments needed on occasion but it’s rare. The second, and most important, is my wife loves it. My erections are now completely at her whim. My balls are more easily accessible as there’s less cage in the way so she can use them more effectively to mess with me which is one of her favorite things to do. And my frenulum is always in the right spot for both her finger and tongue so she can tease and edge me while locked without having to fumble with aligning things.

One thing I’ve noticed is I’m leaking a whole lot more. I don’t know if it’s the compression, the cage is “stimulating” me more, the two months I’ve gone without ejaculation or any combination of things but it’s been a constant dribble and there are times I can actually feel it coming out. I’ve leaked a lot before but this is on a whole new level.

It’s crazy to think we were just starting out with this a year ago. We were both unsure of what to do or where it would go and she had all those feelings of guilt and uncertainty. Now here I am, effectively 24/7 and in a smaller cage because she has decided that’s how she wants it to be. It makes me wonder where it could go in another year, or five. Time will tell and I’ll have little to no day in it.

 

Oops I Did it Again

I fucked up for a second time in less than a year. 10 weeks into a 12 week stretch. I was so close to making it to the end of my longest period of denial. So damn close.

We were having an incredible time, not rushing or even sticking to one thing. My wife kept insisting I hit the edge over and over every time she was getting ready to orgasm. I think I ended up hitting it about 15/20 times. The final straw was in her favorite chair. I was doing so good. My penis felt like it was going to split open from all the engorgement due to getting right to the edge so many times but I had everything under control. She was dripping wet and felt so good and was on her way to yet another orgasm. The command came. “Hit the edge”. I got there and suddenly her pussy gripped me so tightly and I could feel every contraction. I pushed in all the way and didn’t move (my usual move to prevent going over) but she was still cumming and grabbed my chest hair, pulling it hard and almost growling at me “don’t you dare stop fucking me and don’t you dare cum”.

With that she proceeded to lose control and rode me HARD. I held back as long as I could but after a few seconds I knew the battle was lost so I held her hips tight to keep her as still as I could and ruined my orgasm inside her.

She moaned so loud I’m certain all the neighbors heard her. After about a minute of her taking it all in she remarked “I can’t believe you came. I still need to squirt so I guess you’ll be swallowing both our cum now”. With that my face was pushed between her legs and kept there until she was satisfied and empty.

Once we were laying down relaxing I told her I felt terrible for my lack of control. She said she actually took it as a compliment; I desire and enjoy her so much that sometimes I can’t contain myself no matter how hard I try. I have a lot of self control and she loves it when it fails me, at least in that respect. Of course she added that there would be consequences but she wasn’t sure exactly what they’d be, aside from the fact that my ruin opportunity on Father’s Day weekend was no longer on the table. Orgasm denial until our anniversary in about two months.

The plus side is that the wait will end with the treasured full orgasm. It was agreed upon once we started this whole journey; for our first anniversary we want to be able to enjoy each other fully so while the cage may or may not still be present while we’re away denial will take a break, at least on the actual day.

She tried to give me some consolation by reminding me at the end it’s a certainty I’ll get this orgasm. Then she added, very matter of fact with a bit of seductive tone to her voice “when you do I want you to make sure you enjoy it like it could be your last for a very, very long time. Maybe even longer.”

The comment took me by surprise and I asked her if she’d really take orgasms away from me. She replied “I’m considering it. At least the real ones. In the beginning I thought I’d feel terrible denying you the experience. Now I actually think not letting you cum is a gift. You get to feel that build up and excitement of getting to the edge over and over again every time we have sex but when you orgasm you only get to do it once and it’s over. So when you think about it, me taking one thing away is replacing it with a lot more of something else.”

I can’t exactly argue with her logic but damn the prospect is scary. Denial, at least to me, is extremely hot in the moments we’re sexually involved but the other 99% of life it can be really tough. Even when I think about it and do get turned on I can’t do anything about it. I just have to sit with it.

She looked at me, still hard, and gently touched me. Then she asked if I ever get an erection when I take the cage off to shave every week. Most times I don’t but sometimes when I’ll think of something arousing or touch it just the right way when washing and I’ll get a reaction. I told her it’s never rock hard like when I’m with her, but there’s the occasional pop up.

Her follow up was if I’m ever tempted to actually stroke myself, which I answered honestly that of course I am. I’m constantly aroused and sometimes the voice in my head says “go ahead, she’ll never know” but I’m a man of my word so I resist any urges I might have.

She must’ve been feeling her power in the moment. “You couldn’t control yourself today so what makes you think you can always control yourself when you’re free and alone in the shower? I don’t like the idea of you getting hard without my permission and I definitely don’t like the idea of you being able to masturbate, even accidentally or just for a second. From now on just shave your balls, the cage stays on unless I take it off so you can fuck me. That’s when you can shave the rest.” I asked her if those were the consequences for my accident, she said “no, I’m going to have to take some time to think about what they will be. This is just how I want to do things now.”

Father’s Day came and went. It was a great time but true to her word I was not allowed to cum. In fact she kept asking me if I wanted to while we were having sex just so she could tell me “too bad, but you can go to the edge” right before each of her orgasms. She’s starting to show more of a sadistic streak and very obviously getting off on it. It’s making me wonder after our conversation if I’m being conditioned to see edging as a substitute for orgasm. I don’t think she’s that calculated (she’s generally not a big planner) so maybe it’s coincidental but the thought is there.

I’ve also spent the better part of a month dealing with the loss of my weekly shaving privileges. It’s been easy enough to deal with hygiene-wise but I do miss the brief freedom it allowed. If she was sick, had her period or the stars didn’t align I always could get some time out. Now there’s a very real possibility I could stay locked for two or three weeks (or more) consecutively. Not something I’m used to outside of our one and only Locktober experience.

It’s interesting that just when I get settled into this and accept that this is how my life is now something new crops up that changes the game. A new rule, new experience or just a new thought on the subject. It definitely keeps things fresh but I can’t help but wonder where the journey leads. No matter where we end up I’m glad to be traveling this road with such an amazing woman

 

As the days inch closer to our anniversary I’m starting to feel some conflicting emotions. I know I’ll have at least one real orgasm during our trip and as it’s been almost 5 months I’m very excited about the prospect, but her statement of “enjoy it like it’s the last one for a very long time” has me both worried and oddly hopeful.

As anyone who’s followed this journal will know, my wife has definitely embraced the denial aspect of chastity. What once was something she did because it was part of the rules of the game we were playing is now something she personally enjoys. She cums harder when denying me, gets turned on when she starts talking about it and sees so many benefits both to her and me that she views it as though denial is a gift she’s allowing me to experience instead of the forfeit of pleasure.

I was on the fence with the latter. Physically it’s tough, sometimes excruciatingly so. Watching and feeling her orgasm causes a mix of satisfaction and jealousy. I love seeing her in the throes of such pleasure and the way she basks in the experience afterwards. I also remember when that was my experience as well and I could lay back exhausted and relieved instead of aching and desperate. Mentally, focusing on her, and her on herself as well, makes me feel wonderful. I feel like a husband truly taking care of my wife’s needs and there’s a deeper connection when we’re intimate. I’m not thinking about myself nearly as much and she doesn’t lose me to the “zone” I get in when I’m close to orgasm and need to get to the finish line. I’m with her fully until she’s done and even afterwards. The other side of that coin is that she’s constantly on my mind so there’s no escape from the frustration. Most times it’s just background noise in my day but sometimes it wells up to the point where it’s maddening.

The other piece is I like numbers, measurements, statistics. So of course I count the days since, the days until and have calculated how many orgasms and ruined orgasms I may have remaining in my life and it’s not a lot. Assuming we both stay healthy enough to enjoy each other for another 30 years and this situation doesn’t change, I’ll have as many orgasms for the rest of my life as she has in a little less than a month and ruined orgasms about 5 times more than that. That’s assuming things don’t change and nothing unfortunate happens to me. What if in a couple weeks that gets cut down by half or more? What if I have my last orgasm ever? Granted it’s always a possibility in life. You could get done having a blowjob that was so amazing your heart gives out. The difference is of course you don’t see that coming. I (and some of you on this site) are keenly aware that there’s a countdown going as to how many more times we’ll probably experience an orgasm.

The finality of it’s a scary prospect so the worry makes sense to me. The hopefulness is what I’ve been analyzing and then I thought about life before chastity. Unhindered morning erections. Feeling myself explode in her mouth, her pussy, sometimes even her ass. The rush of an orgasm and the sweet exhaustion afterwards. Not having to sit to pee. These are all the things I’ve “lost”. What have I gained though? Way more sex. The aforementioned connection to my wife. No uncomfortable interactions when I’m in the mood and she’s not. A deeper understanding of her needs and even my own. More flirting from her, oftentimes teasing me about being caged or denied. A feeling of being part of something secret and special that we both share. Then I realized that given the choice I’d stay where I am now instead of going back.

With that I had my answer. I’m both scared and hopeful because I should be. Either way it goes there’s things that make sense to miss and others to look forward to. She’s right when she says it’s a gift. There are sacrifices to be certain but nothing is taken away that isn’t replaced with something else. It’s like remodeling a house. Things change and there will be parts that you’ll wish didn’t have to go and ones you’re glad are gone, but when it’s done it’s still your home no matter what was changed. I know it won’t be easy if things get more restrictive. It’s not easy now. I’ll still have my moments of complaining and desperation, but at least for the moment there’s a feeling of contentment that this is the best thing for her, for me and for us. Now all I can do is wait to see if anything more is lost and then remember to look forward to whatever takes its place.

 

We were chatting about our upcoming anniversary trip and how excited we are for it and my wife said “I bet you’re extra excited, you get to orgasm. If I let you. You might need to beg for it after your little accident last month.” I’m fairly certain she’s just teasing me since it is our first wedding anniversary but I played along and reminded her that she said I should make sure to enjoy it because it may be the last for a long time. She said “I guess I did, so maybe you will. We’ll see.”

I took the opportunity to ask what exactly she meant by that last one for a while hoping for some advanced notice. She replied “I’m not much of a planner, you know that. You’ll probably have to wait until our anniversary to find out because I probably won’t have decided until then.” Of course I followed up asking if there are particular things she’s trying to decide between and actually got an answer. I’m not sure if knowing is better or not as now I’m both able to prepare myself (as much as one can) but now I’m also admittedly nervous about what might be my new situation soon.

Basically she’s debating between the following:

-Things stay the same, meaning I’ll get 2 or 3 full orgasms a year.
-She’ll make me go a year or two (or more) before allowing one again.
-She will only allow ruined orgasms from now on. I will get one more full orgasm and it will be the last.
-Most or all future orgasms (ruined or not) will be caged. Only she will get an orgasm when I’m hard, at least the majority of the time.
-The scorched earth choice. I will no longer be allowed to cum in any fashion. She herself said while it’s one of the things she’s thought about it’s really not realistic as she thinks a lot of the power she wields is that I still have something to look forward to (thank god for that). Plus she enjoys it when I cum.

I’ve got a couple weeks to wrap my mind around those possibilities. I’m fairly certain she’s going to go with one of the first two but she’s surprised me often enough so, to use her words, we’ll see.

 

Out of the Frying Pan…

Our first anniversary was wonderful. We spent almost an entire week away together, just the two of us. Food, shopping and various adventures in and around the town we stayed in. It was lovely and a honestly perfect way to celebrate our first year of marriage. I appreciate how we can spend so much time together and not want to be apart even for a moment but can also do our own thing when it’s needed or wanted without either one of us feeling slighted.

She decided to treat me and once we settled into our room she took off the cage, telling me I could keep it off throughout our trip. After going almost a month caged the instant erection felt amazing. I’ve never missed something so simple so much. Plus going to the bathroom was easy the whole trip.

As an added bonus I was allowed not just the one, but two full orgasms during our trip. Once in her mouth and once during sex so we could orgasm together since she knows they’re equally enjoyable for different reasons. Both were incredible. The oral was a selfish one that allowed me to just focus on myself and what I was feeling and really appreciate the orgasm after 5/6 months without, the other was a very intimate and loving affair which brought us both into an emotional bliss.

My wife of course was not limited to just the two so there were many times we would just pop back to our room to unload or freshen up and she’d want a quick one or three. By the end of the trip she said I had worn her out and she was hypersensitive and a bit swollen followed by a “you done good husband”. Definitely gave my ego a boost.

I finally learned her choice going forward as well. I will only be allowed two full orgasms a year max; my birthday (in about 8 months) and our anniversary, neither guaranteed. She will still use our wheel to decide timeframes for ruined orgasms but the real deal will only happen as she has decided. She explained her choice by saying “I love you and don’t want to deny you or me that experience entirely, but the way I see it most days you should be wanting me and getting hard when I want it without needing down time. So I’ll let you enjoy your penis twice a year, the rest of the time it’s for me to enjoy.”

As we were packing to go the cage was put back on. After so many days of being free it felt heavy and restrictive but I got used to it again after some time. My wife asked for my phone so she could spin and before she did she told me “since you had an accident two weeks early I’m adding two weeks to whatever comes up.” It was spun without me being able to see the screen and she asked if I wanted to keep it or if she should spin again. I really, really hate that choice and she knows it. I opted to keep it and she turned the phone. 14 weeks. She proudly exclaimed “that means 16 weeks. Four full months of complete denial for you.” Just for fun she spun it again to see what it would’ve been had I not taken the first one and… 14 weeks again. “I guess the universe thinks four months of denial is what you deserve. Who am I to argue?”

Of course she added in a jab about whether or not I could control myself and not have any accidents since it’s happened twice already. I shot back that it’s not entirely my fault; I’m supposed to stop (or tell her to stop depending on what’s happening) when I’m getting that close but she often pushes the envelope, continuing well past my ability to hold out. She chuckled and said “I know, sometimes I get lost in myself or I want to see how far I can push you but I’ll try to be aware about doing that this time. I want you to be able to fully experience four months without being able to cum. I want to see you endure it.”

With that we headed home starting a second year of marriage and a slight change to our newish lifestyle, mostly the knowledge that as it stands now my orgasms are finite. I still don’t think I’m fully used to living like this. Generally we’re a very normal couple in traditional roles, but in the bedroom my wife enjoys complete control of my penis and all it’s functions. It still surprises me on occasion. I’ll go to the bathroom or get undressed for a shower and see myself locked tightly in a cage and something will come over me. Sometimes it’s arousal, sometimes fear and sometimes it’s a sense helplessness. I often wonder if she randomly thinks about it considering she doesn’t have the constant reminder I do.

…and Into the Fire

A day later we we reminiscing about our trip and she commented she noticed how much I enjoyed finally getting hard, adding that feeling me inside her after so long was also amazing and caused a very intense orgasm. I reminded her she’ll get to relive that feeling soon (she has a minor procedure scheduled that will cause her about three weeks of restrictions around intercourse). Then I started thinking out loud and joked “You’ll be getting your period soon, then that procedure, then after you’re cleared a few weeks later will be Locktober. Assuming you want to do that again this year I may as well stay locked until November”.

She laughed along with me and said “right? I might as well”. I should have left it at that, chuckled a bit more and moved on to the next topic. Instead my propensity for snarky comments got the better of me and I smugly shot back “I’d think you’d probably have a tougher time with that than me. I can’t imagine you’d be able to go that long without my penis inside you”. As soon as I saw her face I knew I fucked up. “Oh really? You’ll still have your hands and mouth so I’d still get my pleasure and orgasms. You’d get, well, nothing”. She started to look away then her head snapped back. “You know what smart ass? You asked for it so you’ve got it. That cage stays on until November.”

My stomach instantly dropped and I’m sure I had a shocked and confused look on my face. I asked her what she meant hoping that either she was messing with me or I missed something.

“I mean you are staying in your cage and not getting unlocked until November. You’re right, I’ll miss your penis but you’re going to miss it a whole lot more.” I said “like not out of the cage at all?” She replied “at all. The key won’t touch the lock.”

I had nothing. My mind raced as I counted the time. A little over three months. My wife must’ve seen the concern on my face and kissed me saying “Oh, you’ll be fine baby. Just think about how amazing getting hard again will feel once it’s over.”

I’m not sure how much I should be worried right now. There’s definitely a part of me that’s skeptical she’ll keep to it as she legitimately does love me inside her and is extremely vocal about that. Then again, her stubbornness is matched only by my own and all the aforementioned reasons not to need me unlocked for a good chunk of the next few months makes it much easier on her to do than it would be under normal circumstances. She’s also keenly aware that cleaning is easy in my cage so, emergencies aside, there is no legitimate reason to take it off if she doesn’t want to.

If she does keep to it I’m not sure how I’ll handle it. I’ve been spoiled by being let out pretty much any time we are physical and even though I don’t get to cum I still get to feel stimulation from her. Watching her orgasm when I know I can’t is torturous; watching her both feel pleasure and orgasm when I can’t enjoy either will be on a whole new level. Especially for such a long duration.

As I’m posting this it’s been about two weeks since her declaration. Life and biology has kept things pretty subdued in the bedroom and we’ve only had one opportunity for some fun which consisted of her using my mouth, hands and vibrator to get what she wanted. True to her word my cage stayed locked. I’m still not completely convinced that she’ll keep it that way for months as she struggled a bit to find her “groove”, but I guess we’ll see. If she does at least I’ll get to experience something new. Silver linings right?

 

It’s really starting to look like she’s serious about keeping me locked up until November. There have been quite a few comments and full blown discussions about it and they all point to it being an almost certainty.

First was a morning we were watching the news. There was a piece on football trading camps and she quipped “it’s kind of like I’m sending you to a training camp for the next few months so you can further develop your skills and talents.” She giggled at that, clearly amused by her own analogy.

There have been other off hand comments about November, me unable to have an erection for a long time and lots of use of the word “months”. Everything really came to a peak this past weekend however and it felt like the final nail in the coffin.

We were spending a day at the lake together, swimming, talking and enjoying some quality time. At this point I have been caged for about 3 weeks straight and due to life and female issues we had only had one intimate experience during that time and I had remained locked. While in the water we were chatting and kissing and she jumped up and straddled me, laying back to float. Then she started pumping her hips and saying how bad I must want her to unlock me and fuck her right then and there in the water. I started to agree, feeling a bit hopeful, and she cut me off and said “but you can’t, you’re in a cage for a very long time and it’ll be too cold to swim when I let you out”. Then she came back up and reached down, pulling me out of my trunks, and started using her finger on that magic spot through the cage. “How does that feel? Hopefully good because this will be the bulk of your pleasure for a while. Now tell me when you get to the edge”.

Once I did and she stopped she straddled me again, rubbing against me and telling me how badly she wants me. I asked her if she really thought she could go for three months without and she said “it’s going to be hard, and I’m sure there will be times I get weak but I’m committed to it”. Her face showed a look of amusement and then I could tell she was contemplating something. I waited for her to speak.

“I think maybe it’s time for me to give dildos another try.” This shocked me as she’s never been a fan and prefers the real thing. So I asked why. “I was just imagining you at the edge of the bed fucking me with one wishing it was you inside me. Then rolling over and you can watch it as you slide into my ass. Just imagine how it would feel pushing it in and out of me when your actual penis is stuffed in a cage not able to be used.” This caused her to shudder and kiss me rather deeply.

She does not look at any chastity stuff online. When she has a question it’s my job to research it. So there is zero chance she read about someone doing this. This was all her imagination which is crazy to me.

The day continued and on the way home I asked her if she was serious about the dildo. She said she was and didn’t want my help finding one; she would research a good one and pick the size she wanted so I wouldn’t know what it looked like, when it would arrive or be used.

So here is where I stand at the moment.
-Completely locked until at least November. By completely I mean this cage isn’t coming off for even a minute.
-Not allowed to cum at all until around the same time.
-No full orgasm until possibly next spring.
-To top it all off it’s looking like she may be having me fuck her with a dildo on occasion.

Who is this woman? I still remember her feeling bad about not letting me orgasm for two weeks. I’ve thought about how chastity changes a relationship and even the person who is caged, but never really how much it can change the keyholder. She is a very feminine, quiet, sweet and caring woman who would do absolutely anything for me. But with this one thing she’s becoming more and more assertive and self serving. It’s frightening and hot.

Off I go to spend our last couple days together until she’s off her feet for a bit. Hopefully she doesn’t throw anything else at me anytime soon or my head may just come off from all the spinning.

 

I still struggle with days, I just happen to have a lot of them one after another. Lol

 

This will probably be my last journal post for a few weeks as my focus will be on helping her recover and get back to her old self, hopefully in a better place than she was prior. She had her procedure and has been sleeping most of the time. She’s not in a whole lot of pain but the anesthesia kicked her ass. I’ve taken care of everything around the house and have some free time so I figured I’d post an update while I can.

We had our last sexual encounter before the aforementioned procedure a couple days ago. It was extremely intense and eye opening for the both of us for very different reasons. Despite my remaining caged she made sure I was just as naked as she was, as she said she likes to see my body even if it’s not being used fully and she knows it adds to the frustration. She was very vocal about what she wanted; having me go down on her, using my fingertips to “tickle” her chest, legs and feet, licking her ass, using my fingers inside her and kissing her thighs while she used her vibrator. She had 13 orgasms (I counted) all with different combinations of the above stimulation. Her final one was her usual crescendo; a squirting orgasm in my mouth while she sat in her chair. She took a moment to remind me that it’s only fair after all the years of letting me cum in her mouth that I now get to do the same.

Once she came back down to earth we laid in bed and talked. She asked if it bothered me that she completely ignored my penis. While it didn’t “bother” me I felt the absence of attention but felt it needed to be about her and honestly until she was done I was so focused on her I didn’t really think about myself very much. Afterwards though I really ached to be unlocked and touched. She explained that it was a purposeful choice as she didn’t want to get in her own head about needing me inside her to orgasm so she didn’t want to think about my penis at all, caged or not. I told her it was despite any desperation I felt it was very arousing to see her so self involved.

She agreed “Oh, I was. I was very self involved. It was wonderful. I love feeling you inside me but not having to think about you at all, just focusing on myself and what I want, was so relaxing. Even my orgasms were relaxing. They felt… soft.”

She shuddered a bit and smiled. “You know, I was really worried I’d have to give in and unlock you before November. I definitely needed this, to cum without you in me at all the entire time. Now I’m totally confident I’ll be able to make it for that long and you can be confident you’re going to have to.”

I had already assumed my fate was sealed and had no idea she was still wrestling with it. It does make sense in hindsight though; orgasms are as much mental as they are physical for her and if she goes in with particular expectations I can see that being a roadblock. Even though she can cum without intercourse it was usually what “jump started” the process so it became a part of her routine. She had to prove to herself that even though she may want me inside her when she orgasms she didn’t require it. While this “revelation” doesn’t bode well for me and could potentially have lasting effects on the dynamic I’m very excited for her.

I made a conscious decision when I gave her the keys that her pleasure comes first regardless of my own desires. Not because I don’t want that pleasure, think I’m not deserving or inferior to her but because she is my favorite person and the benefits we’ve both seen far outweigh the sacrifices I make. A lot of people say “I’d do anything for you” and I get to prove it’s not just lip service, at least in this particular situation. Despite the cage it makes me feel like a man. Her man. And even though sometimes I hate it, I always love her.

 

I’m about to hit 40 days of being continuously locked and it is a much different experience than what I’m used to. I have always had a love/hate relationship with attempted erections. They’re incredibly frustrating, occasionally painful and always remind me that I’m locked and who holds the key. The knowledge that I would soon have one unrestricted, probably within a week or two at most, always took the edge off when it got to be too intense. When I’d start to feel completely overwhelmed I knew even if I couldn’t cum I’d at least be able to get hard and be touched by my wife.

I haven’t known that feeling for over a month, and won’t again for at least another two. I’m beginning to forget what it’s like to not have the cage on. She checks in with me often. Am I able to keep things clean? Am I in any pain or discomfort? Am I handling it well both mentally and physically? I’m sometimes tempted to lie and say I need to be unlocked for one reason or another but I can’t bring myself to. Trust is a big, if not the biggest, part of our relationship and this dynamic and the guilt I’d feel would be more uncomfortable than the cage so I’m honest. And I stay locked.

While I appreciate her concern for my wellbeing I’m also reminded how much fun she’s having keeping me locked. For example last weekend we had some quiet time. We were in the bedroom putting away laundry and she suddenly said “strip”. I didn’t think I heard her right and asked what she said. “I said strip. Get completely naked. I want to check and make sure everything’s ok”. I did so and she sat on the bed as I remained standing, slowly examining my cage and its contents. She rubbed my skin, licked me and kissed me. “Everything seems nice and clean. Good job. Now let’s check if it’s still working.” She pulled her vibrator out of the drawer and pressed it against the cage. “Get to the edge.” I did after a couple of minutes and she stopped for about 10 seconds and then started. “Again.” This continued until I was edged five times and was dripping intensely. She mopped up the precum with her finger and then sucked it off slowly with her eyes locked on mine. It was so damn sexy.

Afterwards she put a towel on the bed and took off her clothes, laid down with her legs spread and told me to lick her slowly but reminded me to stay on the outside. “My turn. Outercourse only” she quipped which made us both chuckle. Once she had her fill of my tongue she told me to kneel between her legs with my cage right near her pussy run my fingers up her thighs while she used her vibrator on herself. “If I can’t cum on your cock I’m going to cum on your cage” she said.

She set the vibrator too low and orgasmed a few times, little trembling ones that seemed almost relaxing. I could see and feel her pussy getting wetter and wetter and it was sweet torture. I wanted out so bad and I’m sure my face showed it. She looked at me and smiled while turning up the vibrator and then proceeded to orgasm and squirt all over my cage. It was hot and humiliating. It’s not the first time I’ve been locked up while she squirted but it was the first time she’s done it like that. Something about soaking my caged penis in her cum was such a power play on her part.

She squirted on me two more times before proclaiming she was done and pushing me back with the vibrator. She laid there motionless while i looked down at myself dripping wet with her. I patted her and myself dry, cleaned up the towel (which thankfully had been folded over a few times or else would have soaked through) and then I cuddled up next to her. I remember thinking it’s lucky my cage is steel as I may have cracked anything less with how strong my attempt at getting hard felt. She laid her head on my chest and said “outercourse isn’t half bad” which predictably got us both giggling like children. Definitely our new favorite word.

Next week we have our follow up with the doc and expect her restrictions to be removed which means I’ll have a fresh new torture to endure; watching her get fucked with my “stand in” which is what she’s decided to call her new dildo. It’s not replacing me but it’ll do the job when I can’t. I’m not sure how that’s going to play out exactly. When she had brought up that it had been delivered I asked if I’d just be using it with my hand or if she expected me to “wear” it with a harness. She said initially she thought a harness would be too weird for her but also considered it would free up my hands to be able to touch her how she’s accustomed to. I pressed her about if just the dildo was delivered or something more and was told I’d have to wait and see, so while I know my stand in is in the house somewhere safely tucked away I do not know if it came with any accessories. I’m not entirely sure how I feel about the dildo situation, much less if there’s a harness involved, as it’s never really been part of our sex life. We messed around here and there and it was definitely hot watching her get penetrated but I knew I would be doing it next. She was always indifferent, preferring the real thing, so just the fact that she initiated getting one is concerning. Not that I think I’ll ever be replaced as the skin to skin intimacy is important to us, but if she can enjoy a substitute on occasion I’ll probably be locked longer and more often. So this total lockdown could be the first of many.

Back to that and where I started before I got sidetracked with my story; it’s way more challenging than I thought. Much respect to the guys who do long term continual locking. I figured since I spend 95% of my time caged that the other 5% wouldn’t be an issue and I was wrong. While it can be physically rough at times the mental side is so much harder. Looking at myself and knowing that I won’t be using my penis for anything for months is a lot to wrap my head around. Cleaning in the shower methodically is a slap in the face. I’m spending all that extra time making sure everything is hygienic just so I can stay locked up. Add to that the fact that I’m aware my wife would love to unlock me, touch me and use me but she won’t simply because she has the power to keep me caged and she’s not going to give in. She’s going to make me suffer for my snarky comment. It’s scarily impressive.

I remember my first days on this site reading the stories, seeing “be careful what you wish for” posted again and again, thinking to myself I could never imagine my wife going any further than occasional kinky play. I would have been fine with that and never pushed for more, but when I gave her the key we agreed for it to work I needed to give her complete control no matter what that looked like. So I did and it’s been quite the ride so far. Every time I think we’ve reached the top of the hill my wife finds a way to say we have a little further to travel. So onward I go, even if I don’t know where.

 

There certainly is. It’s such an intriguing thing to see. Normally she’s sweet and kind, a very traditional wife who enjoys taking care of her husband. But around chastity it’s like a switch is flipped. She gets this sultry, commanding but still compassionate tone to her voice and becomes a selfish keyholder. Then once everything is done the switch gets flipped again and she’s back to being my wife. It really is something to behold.

 

My wife is officially cleared starting this weekend. We had her follow up and everything looks good, the doc just wanted her to stick to her restrictions for a couple more days to be 100% safe.

On the ride home I told her how excited I am that she’s reaching the end of her journey. She assumed I was talking about her being able to fully have sex again but I corrected her that my excitement was that her quality of life should drastically improve going forward. She smiled at me, squeezed my hand and said “well thank you, me too”. Then after a pause she added “I’m also excited that you’ll get to fuck me soon. Well, technically your stand-in will but you’ll still be doing the work”.

This made me grimace. As I said prior, this is new to me and I’m not sure how I’m going to handle it both mentally and physically. Add to that the fact that I haven’t been allowed to have an erection in long time, with an even longer time still to go, and there’s an odd mix of worry and jealousy on my part. Jealous of a dildo. It’s almost comical.

She responded instantly to my reaction and asked “you’re not looking forward to it?” I replied “not completely. It’s bad enough being locked up but I feel like that’s going to be its own special hell.” My wife instantly smiled “that’s the point. That’s why I’m not going to fuck myself with it, you will. You’ll watch yourself put it in and out of me and I bet you’ll almost be able to feel it. I’ll get fucked and you’ll get tortured. Win win.”

I’ll admit she turned me on in that moment. It’s the change in tone, the confident cockiness and the unapologetic selfishness. It’s interesting because I turn her on when I do something similar; she calls it my “sexy arrogance”.

When all is said and done I’m sure if this is something she enjoys I’ll vicariously enjoy it as well. It’s the waiting and wondering that is the real problem I think and soon both will be over. The kids are all out for a few hours tomorrow evening and we’re both home so I’m fairly certain I’ll be called upon to take care of all her needs then. Time will tell.

 

It was definitely a new and frustratingly erotic experience. We’ve used a dildo probably two or three times in the seven years we’ve been together and never for more than a couple minutes each time, with her inevitably telling me to stop and give her the real thing. Not this time.

We had gone out to dinner and were watching tv in bed, enjoying the quiet of an empty house. My wife had complained about a tight muscle in her calf and asked me to rub it for a bit to try and work it out which I happily did. Long strokes from ankle to knee. After a while I started to notice when going up to the knee her hips would raise ever so slightly so little by little my upstrokes went just a bit higher as did her hips. After a while of this she finally spoke. “Take off my clothes and yours, grab both vibrators and warm up my new toy in the sink. It’s in the top drawer under my bras.”

This was the first time I met my stand in. I opened the drawer and found it along with a harness. I turned and looked at her, she said “leave the harness. I got it just in case but I don’t want to use it. At least not now.” The dildo wasn’t what I expected but I’m not really sure what my expectations were. It was shorter than me at about 6’ and only around half the girth. I ran it under some warm water, brought it in the room and laid it on a towel next to the rest of the stuff and kissed her.

She pushed my head between her legs and I licked her slowly, being careful when finally putting my tongue inside her since she’s not had anything penetrating her for almost a month. Her reaction was intense, reminding me of my own when I’ve gone a while without feeling something I enjoy. After some time she reached over and grabbed a vibrator and handed it to me, pulling me close so I was kneeling between her legs with my cage pressed against her pussy. I turned it on and got ready to press it against her when she corrected me. “That one’s for you. I want you to keep edging yourself while I make myself cum.” She picked up the other one and began so I did as well. Each time I had to stop she’d wait a few seconds and tell me to go again, occasionally orgasming beforehand. Her third orgasm exploded in a gush all over my cage, one of the biggest squirts I’ve seen from her.

Then the moment finally came. “Grab the dildo and fuck me. Go easy, it’s been a while.” I slid it into her slowly and could actually feel my own penis aching to take its place. It was probably the biggest tease I’ve experienced watching her accept this thing that was doing what I’m not allowed to. She turned her vibrator on again and I could see her trying to reconcile what she was experiencing. Then her face flushed, eyes widened and she orgasmed. Hard. She told me to take it out and lick her. A couple minutes later she told me to fuck her again. Another orgasm. Then another. And another. She then grabbed my hand and pulled the dildo out herself. It was wet and slick from her and I remember thinking “I wish that was me”.

She held it up and studied it as if she was analyzing what had just happened. Then she said “this was a sorry substitute for your penis. Exactly what I wanted. I didn’t want the same size because that would have been too weird and I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy it. I didn’t want bigger because I probably would have ruptured something. This was perfectly… adequate. Something to tide me over when I’m not getting the real thing.” Then she looked at me and slowly sucked her cum off of it, smiling as she did knowing where my mind went.

I was told to go back to the vibrators, me edging myself while watching her get to continue past that point and orgasm. Once she was satisfied she told me to come closer and edged me one last time with her finger, proudly remarking how slick I was from all that was leaking out of me. She withdrew her finger and sucked it clean, then looked at puddle on her stomach where the rest of me had dripped. “That’s yours to clean. Get it all.”

I was all over the place. I don’t think I’ve ever been so humiliated, frustrated and turned on. I have a perfectly good penis which I know she loves and she not only substituted it with a piece of silicone, she did so with one that she actually described as sorry and adequate. Knowing that made me realize it wasn’t about getting something that I’m unable to give her but instead about denying me the pleasure I would get from doing so. My wife gave up a little of what she wanted to make sure I was getting none of what I wanted.

I laid down with her, my cage once again soaked in her cum, locked and edged not knowing which I wanted more; ejaculation or erection. My stomach and balls ached and my penis was trying desperately to escape its prison. I could feel a soreness inside from all the cum that had welled up and then been forced to retreat from the multiple times I had gone to the edge without release. I looked over at my wife and a childish thought came to mind. This isn’t fair. I’m laying here sore and aching while she is feeling satisfied and euphoric. But that’s what we sign up for in this life, isn’t it? Scales that are tipped in favor of our keyholders. We service and suffer while they reap the rewards. It is completely unfair and designed to be so. But just because I know that it doesn’t make it any easier when I get stuck in a moment of pure frustration.

She must’ve sensed my thoughts because she rolled to face me, kissed me and thanked me for all of the wonderful orgasms. “The ones I had while you were fucking me were so much harder than the gentle ones I get just from oral or the vibrator. Not nearly as great as when it’s you inside of me, but still pretty nice especially after not having that for a while.” I said “so the dildo is a success then?” She replied “definitely. It’ll never replace you but when I decide to leave you locked up it’s a nice backup.” For some reason this brought me back from my negative thinking and I felt pride instead. My wife was taken care of and felt completely satisfied. I had done my job well and she appreciated it.

I started picking everything up that had been scattered around the room and she wiped down the vibrators with some cleaning cloths but handed me the dildo. “This is yours to clean off. Lots of soap and water. 30 seconds so you know it’s clean.” I instantly knew the reason when I saw the smirk. When I returned my suspicions were confirmed. “When I first got it and washed it I realized you basically have to stroke it to clean it. I figured it’d be fun for you to stroke a fake penis since yours is locked up for a long time.”

She fell asleep soon after completely exhausted. I laid there for a bit just watching her sleep, admiring her skin and the curves of her body. The air (and me) still smelled like her and I don’t remember falling asleep. We woke up this morning and life returned to normal. I made coffee, she made breakfast and we enjoyed the peace before the kids finally woke up. Now that I’ve had time to process what happened I’m back to feeling good about this arrangement. I’m still frustrated as hell and wishing I could take this cage off if only for a minute, but I can do it. November will be here before I know it and until then if I’m honest I’m actually happy knowing my wife doesn’t have to suffer along with me. I’ll still be jealous of her and that damn dildo without a doubt but in the end I take a lot of pride in taking care of the woman I love and if that means she gets fucked by a dildo when she decides to keep me locked up, then that’s what I’ll do. And I’ll love every minute of it that I’m not hating it.

 

Today is the final day before Locktober begins and I’ve already been both denied and locked for 60 days and change. I haven’t been out of my cage once in all that time and I really, really miss having an erection. Sure, my stubborn penis still makes an attempt but due to the size of my cage the best it can do is swell a bit through the bars.

I’ve seen the debate on here about orgasm denial versus erection denial and after two months of both I’d definitely say erection denial is harder (pun intended). Not cumming is tough to be sure but there’s still pleasure to be had. It’s still being used. Not being allowed an erection is making my penis feel inconsequential. She will still use a finger or vibrator to edge me but neither is the same. The finger thing is contained to one little spot and while it feels good it’s missing all of that stretched out goodness, and the vibrator doesn’t even feel good. It really doesn’t feel like anything honestly. It’s more like everything is being tricked into welling up. I don’t feel any notable pleasure or satisfaction from it, I just feel the cum slowly building up inside me until it’s time to orgasm or stop, and it’s always time to stop. It feels forced.

My wife hasn’t really seemed to mind my constant incarceration although to be fair our sex life has taken a hit the past couple of months. Surgery, female issues and incredibly bad luck at getting some time to ourselves have kept us out of the bedroom most days except to sleep. I certainly miss our more consistent romps but we’ve had our share of slumps over the years and this one will pass as well.

On the positive side my wife is completely back to normal and we’ve been having a lot of fun together despite the lack of physical interaction. Playful banter, turning errands into fun excursions and just enjoying whatever we’re doing because we’re doing it together. The sex with her is phenomenal but I’d rather have the “us” over that any day if I have to choose between them.

I feel like I’ve had plenty of practice going into my second Locktober. It probably won’t be anything different than what I’ve been doing these past couple months but it will feel different just because of the month. Sort of like Christmas; you can give someone a gift any day of the year but because it’s that particular day it adds a little something extra even if it isn’t tangible.