How much control does your KH actually have?

I have always believed that for the enforcement of male chastity to truly become submission to female led authority, it has to ultimately reach a point where the man genuinely dislikes it, at least at times, and yet the woman remains steadfast in her discipline. You know you've reached the pinnacle of enforced male chastity and female rule when she wants it more than he does. It needs to go beyond what he imagined or is comfortable with and centered around what she wants, not him.

 

My wife is enjoying her total control I think. I can't mention anything about my frustration or or discuss my chastity. She is enjoying this. Im super frustrated and horny now but I can't do anything except snuggle behind her and rub my cage on her voluptuous buns.

 

Since I hold my own key, I have all the power (said in hemans voice)

 

Our journey started with my suggestion to keep myself locked, as a symbolic expression of my fidelity towards my lady, and as a prevention against masturbation.
We started out with me holding on to the key, with the freedom to unlock myself for sleep and whenever I deem necessary. She was in the beginning rather indifferent about this, and all I needed to do before unlocking (and after re-locking) was to keep her notified and that was all about it.
Fast forward, we have since a couple of days ago progressed and deviated from the original goal of fidelity. She now holds the key and I no longer unlock myself for sleep. Permission has to be granted for me to be unlocked when necessary. As of now, she holds control over my sexual pleasures and uses her exclusive discretion to deny me the pleasure of any form of stimulation or release.
She has gone from being mildly indifferent about this, to being my presently happy, well informed and enthusiastic key-holder she is. This journey of ours is constantly evolving, and she’s certainly enjoying her power and control over my penis, and is definitely way ahead of me in every aspect of this new lifestyle we are in.
I now have to keep my attitude towards her in check, and to comply with the rules and conditions of my enforced chastity/fidelity. This will be the case for as long as I still hold the wish to ever be allowed any sexual pleasure or release.

 

I'd class my Mistress as being someone who's really into chastity play but mostly for bedroom purposes. We do have a D/s dynamic but it comes and goes and usually isn't very intense unless we're feeling like playing soon.

For me, wearing the device is a reminder of who I am within the relationship and for her I believe wearing the key around her neck has a similar effect.

We became interested in each other due to a common interest in chastity play and it's something that comes and goes within our relationship so she hasn't pressed me on it if I've ever felt like it was too much.

I believe she wants my motivation for chastity to be because I enjoy it, not purely for her.

Overall she has more power in the relationship even when there isn't intense D/s involved at the surface. It's just kind of how our relationship has developed. But I can always say if I'm not happy with how things are going.

 

We've dabbled in chastity before but it was introduced to be more of a lifestyle the past 3 weeks. Just this morning my wife asked me how often did I masturbate and I told her like twice a week when she wasn't home. I'm not in chastity 24/7 but she made a rule today that I'm to be locked everytime she goes out and leaves me behind.

 

My wife has more and more control over time.

And when she doesn't choose to exercise it, things do seem to go wrong in a hurry.

We're both still learning how our relationship works best, but I'm realizing myself that things work best for us when I am attentive, 100% respectful and obedient, and at least a solid week into a lock-up.

She enjoys real sex, and I keep finding new ways to excite her and give her the best sex of her life, including PIV, without me having to have an orgasm. I'm a bit mentally messed up at the moment from some recent frustrations of my own, and now that my head is finally back in the right place, I'm honestly a bit scared to have an orgasm and go back to square one again. Things are honestly perfect in our relationship when I'm denied, and I seem to really suck as a human being (or at least as a husband) when I'm not.

The last time we made love, I begged her to let me NOT orgasm, and I wasn't playing. And even though she really likes me cumming hard, she also really likes the better version of me.

I have no desire to "set records" or "be locked" or "do permanent chastity" or any of that other stuff that gets talked about a lot around here. I really just want to be a much better husband, and the sad (very sad) truth is that I may actually need to be kept in chastity without orgasms to accomplish that. It's really pathetic. But it works.

 

How much power does my keyholder have? As much as she's willing to take. If she was a different person, I might not be willing to do that, but given who she is, I'm totally thrilled with the situation.

 

My KH has complete control over my cage and many other aspects of my life
We have a set of rules I have to follow in every day life as well as others that change depending on the situation and who we are with

 

in a he says she hears i can not help but believe if she has half a brain she hears. "i want you to serve me by pretending to be in a flr. i want you to be convincing so i can imagine to experience my fantasy 24/7/365. now there will be open channels of communication so i can direct you on how to better serve me in the future..... oh... remember now, i have the final say in all aspects of our fantasy world. anytime you might actually believe your in control and do things i do not want done i can stop this lifestyle right in it's tracks. "
then he wonders why she does not enthusiastically assume the dominate role but he is hopeful if he keeps working on her she will surrender over time.

 

That’s an excellent, succinct description of my own sentiments, and it’s what makes the whole idea exciting to me. There isn’t really any D or s if everything we do is just as I like it.

 

Six years old but up to date.

 

When my Wife (KH) and I started MC, it was for me. But as time went by (4 years now), it has changed and so has my Wife's attitude towards MC. She played along with it and my kink. But, now she has full control over our sex life. She is more relaxed knowing that I take care of almost everything in the house...Cooking, cleaning, laundry is all taken care of by me. I have been orgasm free for almost a year now and besides leaking when teased, that is my only release.
My Wife is loving our MC lifestyle and has told me many times that she wishes she would have known about it sooner in our relationship. (Like the day after we got married).
At first I would get teased a few times a week and would get a orgasm several times a month. But now I might get teased 6-8 times a month, no orgasms. She will allow me a hard on once a month, just to let me stretch it out, but then it's back into lock down. So I would say she has full control and she loves it...

 

My madam has all the control!

 

My Mistress and I have a long distance relationship and we interact online. We message each other every day throughout the day and that helps as communication is important in a LDR. We use the plastic numbered locks. I can technically at anytime remove the chastity cage but she would know. And that would be a betrayal of trust as I would be going against our agreement that she decides when I can unlock. I think if I did that then our relationship would likely be over as the trust would have been broken. Do I enjoy being in chastity as a kink? I do, sometimes. But there are also times when I really want out. But I have accepted that she is in control and she decides when I can unlock.

 

My Goddess wife has full control. Since we decided permanent chastity would be the best thing for me, over five years ago. Our relationship has changed to a complete FLM. I have absolutely no control of my sexual identity. My penis and balls belong to her 100%. And now that she has enforced indefinite masturbation and orgasm denial for over two years I will probably never know what pleasurable sexual release is ever again. I’ve come to love being controlled this way, because it proves to my Goddess that my pleasure doesn’t matter. And I exist only to please her sexual and pamper and take care of her needs, and to make her life as enjoyable and easy as possible.

 

A keyholder or any dominant in general has as much control as both agree to grant her / him.

In our case it is actually quite a lot.
We are living in a FLR and she has he last word in everything except kids and money in regards to investments, pension plants and things like this. She can do almost everything (within my rather wide limits) as she wants. Sounds great ? It is, but with her loving to push boundries it also can be quite taxing at times. And looking more at day to day life noone in his right mind would like her canceling an event he was looking forward to for some time just because she has other plans.It is a rare things as she would not do so out of spite and of course also wants you to be happy, but it can happen...

Harsh ? Well... yes and no. If there are problems we would talk everything through and of course I could pull the trigger and sto everything with a safeword in seconds should therere be a massive problem.That never happened so far and is not something to be done lightly as she alsowould be beside herself should she notice that something went out of its way that much I had to use the 'safeword'.

That said I do not think it does not matter that much how much control you hand over aslong as you are a good fit and she loves you, because that is the best protection you can ever get for a happy, fulfilling relationship.

 

All that is given to them

 

Most of you know that Mrs Edge has me permanently locked. A couple of years ago I told her that there might come a time when I'm having a hard time handling it, and that she would need to be strong enough to realize it's just a phase and to tell me "No."

She said "Don't worry, I won't have a problem with that at all."

 

24/7 dynamic with us. I'm always in the cage. When she's home, what she says goes no matter what (at least in most cases) she has safe search on my phone and she checks my history for naughty sites to help with my pron addiction. I was exposed to it way too young and its been impossible for me to get rid of without her help. Social media is blocked on my phone along with any social media websites. Youtube being an exception. Pretty much all of this was something i had brought to the table. Chastity was something i knew i needed in a relationship. the blocking of social media is really because i would spend too much time on my phone and not give her the attention she needed and deserved so i asked her to make a passcode for screen time and she let me set the settings then show her all i did. We've slowly added to it over time and now it is 1000% impossible for me to find any porn on my phone and i just use my laptop for social media (like this site right here). She's grown to love the power she has and sh's even said that, having done this now, she doesn't know if she could truly be herself in a relationship that wasn't like this. We're both really happy with it and we're coming up on 2.5 years of it

 

Good for you! I think it's a healthy thing to take pride in your personal integrity towards your partner. It feels good, doesn't it?

 

My wife had a huge amount of control. We started our relationship as an FLR almost immediately, so there was no ‘other’ way for us to relate, and she was very firm about what was appropriate behavior - which eventually became written rules.

She was also the breadwinner, and she explicitly discouraged me from working and we integrated our finances. Obviously it wasn’t impossible for me to leave, but it would have been a huge deal for me.

There also wasn’t a way for me to be ‘secretly’ doing anything she wasn’t aware off - she’d have easily been able to tell both because she was in control of how I spent my time, and because she was very sensitive to my emotional state, and she took a lot of pleasure in applying discipline when I was being resistant or inattentive.

So in short, my wife had very real control over me, although it wasn’t a result of chastity.

 

@Tamed Male You keep using past tense in speaking about your wife. What happened, if you don't mind me asking?

 

She died of cancer.

 

My wife has full control over both of our sexualities. She is also in control of the finances so pretty much everything that matters to both of us.