How do you handle real life interruptions?

Please Miss it up to You what happen to him. but a lot of folks on here all wud do difrent things i spect.

 

We use numbered plastic padlocks. You can control by video call that the numbering is correct and you allow him to jerk off, and then he put the cage back on with a new numbered padlocks.
So you always have control of giving or denying him an orgasm from a distance.

 

I guess it depends on how long you are away. I'd say keep him locked. I want my only source of pleasure to come directly from her involvement. You might just need to get creative with teasing him while away.

 

We get annoyed with the interruption to our life style. For the scenario you've described, it's business as usual. She doesn't want to or can't play with me so it stays locked until she can.

The things that interrupt us are the work visits to secure sites that have a security screen both in and out and a zero tolerance for body jewellery.

A

 

We don't stop for that. For me, honestly I'd rather stay locked. For one thing to avoid having to go through another break-in period.

 

First and foremost: Do as you think it is best as there is no answer that can suit everyone !


In general we do a lot on honour basis as I am unlocked quite often for sports etc. Apart from this I am usually locked though - even when we are apart.

Due to our jobs it it usually me traveling on a regular basis (about a week per month).While I am unlocked during the flights I will lock once arrived and reseal the key. No need for proof unless she would ask for it.
Unlock again once I leave for airport.

Apart from this we had only one unlock due to personal problems that had been necessary at the time though.

That's how it works for us.

 

As already stated ultimately it is what best suits you . I'm thinking...if your only going to be away for lets say a week, he stays locked up. I would like to think I would be able to go a week waiting for my KH to come home. I do like the idea of using a numbered plastic seal ( either on the cage or securing the key somehow) while you are apart, with periodic checking in through the time away. That way hubby remains secure but can easily remove the cage if required. If you are apart for more than a week, I think give hubby the choice, he can wait or have an orgasm before you leave... but that orgasm will come at a cost. A cost that will make him hesitant to choose an orgasm. But also a reward if he waits... maybe some long distance teasing over video calls... what we used to call phone sex... before there was smart phones.

 

Life will ALWAYS get in the way. If we stopped for each event, we would never get started.

Chances are, he would prefer to be locked, it is a constant reminder of you, and that you care about him. I feel a little lost when unlocked. Really lost if we are not together.

You can still keep the dynamic alive, and him frustrated, while you are traveling. Verbal or textual reminders and sexy comments are very powerful. Have a private session yourself, and make him listen.

Let your imagination play with the idea and surprise him. You will both enjoy it.

 

My wife and I took a different approach to this. In this case I was the one traveling so I was unlocked. Since she still wanted to control what I did when I was alone we decided to sext each other each night and she would allow me to touch myself and allow me an orgasm. The funny thing about doing via text is it’s easier to say some naughtier things to each other plus the anticipation of waiting for your partner’s text. We’ve enjoyed this so much sometimes I’ll write short sex fantasies to my wife while I’m at work and she’s at home and she’ll read them and use her vibrator.
So this way you can still control the situation and have a lot of fun with each other. Pack away a discreet bullet vibrator and plan on a time with your hubby when you’re alone in your hotel room or wherever you’re staying in order to have intimate time together while you’re both apart. We also just bought app controlled vibrators too. I bought my wife a small vibrator that sits over her clit and is held in place in the underwear with a strong but small magnet, it’s made by we/vibe. I can operate it from anywhere in the world as long as she has her phone on her. Vice versa I have lovense plug with the same capabilities she uses on me at home or out and about. Anyway, these are just some creative ways we’ve found to have fun when we have to be apart from each other and trying to utilize limited time because of kids etc…

 

But… if none of what I mentioned were possible to do in the traveling situation and I was left at home by my wife I would prefer to remain locked until my she came home. Having the cage on when the the person who holds your key isn’t around is very sentimental.

 

I stay locked and I am totally fine with it now. In the past I might go a bit crazy but now it's normal.

 

Personally, if you were leaving for a family crisis or emergency I wouldn’t push yourself to give him an orgasm before hand. If it was planned then perhaps it’s a consideration.

I wouldn’t be unlocked if my wife was leaving for a period of time. It’s just not how we roll. I don’t actually think he’d really appreciate that himself, it’s never nice to be unlocked and abandoned. The cage does give a sense of connection and you’ve both committed to it already.

The only problem I foresee is upon your return. I assume you would be a little tired, still a little stressed and preoccupied in expanding on events rather than anything sexual. Where as, if he has been locked away and ‘neglected’ for that time he may be preoccupied with other feelings…

You could make a ‘game’ of it for yourself. Have him earn a reward based on the observations you’ve made while he was alone. How often he contacted you, showed support, how much he did at home etc. Base the level of reward on his actions.
You wouldn’t have to tell him of it at all. Just merely tell him something like:
“I can tell you’ve missed me. It’s really nice that you’ve finally [insert completed laborious task he’s been putting off] while I was away. Wait until I get you in the bedroom”.
Or:
“I don’t know what you’re expecting, I’ve been away 10 days and you didn’t ask me how I was. You’ve barely even earned a handjob.” I mean honestly, if he didn’t ask how you were he probably doesn’t deserve that, but you know what I mean.

 

I’m not clear on his reaction to being left locked and unattended. I just know our household.. she unlocks me when she wants it unlocked…period.

At our home, the little things that happen, and even the big things, don’t have a part in that decision. Sickness, busyness, money issues, family issues, they just aren’t part of my decision…it’s not my decision. If she wants to take a break from me wearing it, she’ll unlock me. For the most part, the locking portion doesn’t change.

A few years ago her mother passed. To say our dynamic wasn’t on her mind is an understatement. Could I have whined about being unlocked until she was ready to participate? Yes, and she probably wouldn’t have cared one way or another. I didn’t want that on her plate along with what she was dealing with so stayed locked with very little attention if any.

When sick, sometimes I feel like what am I wearing this for, I’m certainly not going to fiddle with myself right now! Why don’t I just have her take it off me? Well because me being sick had nothing to do with her wanting me unlocked. I’m locked unless she unlocks me, that’s it, and coming to grips with that is part of our relationship, our agreed upon roles, and to no small part of me showing her an amount of respect.

Im locked when it’s fun, I’m locked when I’m sick, I’m locked when we are sad, I’m locked at all times…except when she wants me unlocked.

 

@MsPamela : I don't think there is a right or wrong way to do this, but if the question is...

Q: Let's say I have to leave town for a week or two in order to deal with a family crisis.

We would put the chastity aside until we were together again. Our relationship as husband & Wife comes before all this and as a husband or Wife there are more important duties to handle. Now I could see this playing out differently under this circumstance...

If she was my Mistress before we started seeing one another, there would be a totally different vibe between us. Given male chastity was introduced well into our relationship, it really isn't something that defines us. It is just something that helps the relationship.

 

If it were me, I'd prefer to stay locked, so count me as another vote for locking, and I wouldn't need an orgasm to tide me over either. If you're able to sext him while you're away, all well and good, but don't worry if you can't. I don't think this would count as being "locked and forgotten" because you're not there.

 

For me, I believe it's only "lock and forget" if you're there and able to give attention but don't. If you're going to be away, and you know you're going to be too busy to be sexting or anything like that, then as long as you both know that in advance, I don't see any problem. It's not like he's going to be hoping to hear from you and getting disappointed when you don't call, because he knows he won't be hearing from you. But if he remains locked, he knows he's still in your control and it helps reinforce that being locked is "normal". Obviously, this is entirely up to you and what you're comfortable with, but if it were me, I'd rather stay locked.

 

In our relationship we have to live apart for days and weeks at a time. I am never unlocked during these time. My mistress would see this as a sign to go back to masturbating, let's face it, to women who are not her. She owns my penis and it shouldn't be doing anything when she is not present. What I get out of it is the constant reminder that I am owned by her and in that we are still spiritually connected although physically apart. I have the opportunity to peacefully and calmly add to my consecutive days in chastity. To what end, I don't even know but for some strange reason we have decided that my normal state is locked. It may be boring or frustrating especially during weeks apart but it won't kill me and besides I agreed and asked to live this way.

 

With respect, I think you're overthinking this.

If you both like chastity then continue with it. With a cage on all sexual energy is still focused on the one with the key. The cage reminds him of you, he'll remember to phone, want to know you're coping.

Think of it as a wedding band. You're mine.

A

 

Iv'e been lock up as long as 6 months . My Queen doesn't live with me . Instead sends for me as required . It was my suggestion that she hold the keys to my cage . I often travelled several hundred miles away on my motorcycle .or went hiking overnight . For me the thought that I may be in an accident or something where I'd be exposed wearing my cage was very stimulating . It hightend the act of being owned and knowing my Queen was controlling my sex life ,or lack of it .

 

The best thing to do is give each a try. Next time you go away for a bit, leave him locked and talk about it when you get home. If it worked out well, keep doing that. Otherwise, unlock him and talk about that when you get home. Pick what seems to work best. Easier than guessing! Just let him know what you're doing and he should be fine for a couple of weeks.

As far as my Keyholder and myself go, the "rule" is I am locked unless she has a reason to have me unlocked. If I was travelling, she'd probably unlock me for the trip, but if she was traveling, she probably wouldn't. I like being locked when we're apart - it's a nice reminder and a way for her to tease me even when she's not there.

 

Yes! Communication is key!

 

I think you're the best judge on how to handle this. Almost everyone here asked to be locked and many for longer and longer periods. As you can see from the responses they overwhelmingly favor leaving him locked. If you go to a Mercedes forum and ask if the members prefer a BMW or MB they will say MB 999/1000 times. If it were me I would say unlocked in your dynamic. Sometimes a break can be good for everyone and often enhances things going forward. It also frees you to focus on what you need to do and not be distracted.

 

Phone sex, or teasing, call him at the end of the day and get him worked up, me personally I'd probably just stay locked