I finally put this formula in writing after using it for so long. What do you women think about it I would like your thoughts. Formula for increasing obedience: 1. Become his only source of sexual pleasure 2. Get him in a sexual state 3. Make many easy sexual fun requests 4. Reward compliance with sexual pleasure 5. Make easy only slightly embarrassing / humiliating / objectionable / difficult requests as time goes on. 6. Reward compliance with sexual pleasure 7. Increase gradually to more embarrassing / humiliating / objectionable / difficult requests 6. Reward compliance with sexual pleasure 7. Gather embarrassing photos, videos, audio recordings of his obedience. Put them in encrypted folder. 8. After you have gathered a large amount of these make him aware that you have them. Go over embarrassing items from time to time with him, send them occasionally to him. Imply he needs to keep giving you complete compliance. (Optional) Tell him that you have a “dead mans switch” and that if you were not to enter a code on a regular basis certain items will be sent out publically. You don’t actually have to do this, just tell him you did. Gradually, over time this formula has worked. Do you have any thoughts? Anyway to make it work better?
We are all different. Most of that list would not work for me, especially point 1. When it gets to point 8 why should either of us be embarrassed about actions between consenting adults. Jane
#8 - the dead man's switch is a bad idea.. (were you the captain of the star ship Enterprise in a past life?) what if you die or have an event that lands you in the hospital for a long time?
I voted 'yes' that it will work. However I think any loving relationship subjected to this type of coercion will ultimately fail. Submission should be given freely by the submissive, unconditionally, and the dominate should take that responsibility seriously and not try to enslave or otherwise force a submissive to remain submissive.
I think that the blackmail thing is hot in a very narrow circumstance. My Wife and I have been together for nearly twenty years, I know she would never blackmail me but the thought of her having these things over me is exciting. I wouldn't do that with someone I didn't utterly trust. It's not something we do but I can see the fun of it in a relationship with complete trust.
For #8 -- Firstly you should never involve third parties in your kink without their consent. Secondly, if you did send stuff out anyway it would likely (and rightly) end up with you in some legal trouble for extortion or "revenge porn". And thirdly, you want someone to be in a relationship with you because they want to, not because you've threatened them into it. It makes everything non-consensual if there is a threat involved.
Formula for increasing obedience--- How about just wanting to please your Mistress or Master and expanding your limits because you want to please whoever.and if any rewards come to you be grateful Never seen so many bottom's directing their so called Top's
It has to be voulentary. Sexual pleasure keeps him in the loop once he is in. Getting him to start could be difficult. It depends on each person. Here are a few ideas. You could talk to him about loosing weight or smoking for instance. Tell him it’s important for his health. Get him to agree on a time table and concrete goals that need to be met by a deadline. As long as its measurable. Then tell him to try on his own and if, at the end of the deadline he doesn’t meet that goal that you have a program and that he agrees to go along with it completely if he fails at his attempt. Tell him it involves some kink and sex. If you can get him to agree and he fails you start the program. If he success and meets his goals it’s a win. Just come up with a new area till he fails. Then at the end of the above program use the new training instilled above to hell him with the goal he failed at. Another idea is make a bet with him, if he looses he tries the program above and promises to cooperate. If he does something pretty bad tell him he can make it up to you by letting you try the above program for a set time. You could trade him something he wants you to do in exchange for him trying this program. It could be good to get his agreement in writing after he verbally agrees. The important thing is to make it very fun at first and go slowly. Once he is hooked on the sex it will be hard for him to stop. At some point after the easy fun stuff at the start tell him that unless he agrees for a set time that you will never do anything like this again. In sales it’s a technique called the “takeaway”. It makes him want to sign up if you threaten to take the sex sessions away. There are many ideas that might work. I have some more. These should work though.
If this is not useful to you personally just skip it. I have found it works, it’s just a progressive conditioned response training program. Basically just progressing by overcoming and breaking down mental objections and personal boundaries slowly over time as he chooses sexual rewards as a compensation for stepping over his comfort zone. Stretching this out slowly makes obeying me easier for him as his comfort zone expands. The first few months he was locked it was difficult but after a year it was no big deal. It is just training. If you can obey just because you want to please someone that’s much better. However the brain gets reward chemicals from taking actions, over time reward pathways are formed and a pattern of behavior emerges. My man would play hours of video games oblivious to me. He liked games and they were more interesting “chemically” than I was to him. Especially after orgasms or jacking off to porn or whatever he did. He still plays games and gets his chemical fix. I just gave him a more fun game to play. I swapped his “call of duty” fantasy war game for his “call to duty” (thats to me and his family) I make sure he is rewarded. I make sure with the cage and check ins that I am likely his only outlet to sexual pleasure that’s guilt free. He put down his toy joy stick as I took control of his sexual “joy stick”. I am glad you have a relationship where you don’t need any training to pay attention to your mistress. My man needed a reason. It was difficult. Training works though.
I am not sure what you mean by bottoms and tops, I am the top and this is my program. It wasn’t his idea. I directed this based on my training and knowledge of conditioned response and psychology. Behaviors can be shaped through training though well thought out program and being consistent. He had been doing the program his play station and the nfl had mapped out for him. It got our family nothing but an absentee father and husband. Why not give him a better program that benifitted our family instead of a corporations bottom line. Those corporations are no dummies, they have a plan for getting men hooked on their program so they can make money. In video games it’s called “the addiction cycle”. They design games around it.
The N F L has a plan as well, so do the porn sites and the food companies. If I don’t have a counter plan I am a fool.
Geez I thought you were talking about me for a second there No but seriously what your saying is completely true. A lot of guys get addicted to video games and porn. Anything that elicits a dopamine response will eventually trigger an addiction over time. I congratulate you for getting him off the games, I'm sure it wasn't easy. Hopefully he realizes the error of his way now and you both enjoy a better relationship.
As long as obeying me leads to more pleasure than video games or porn his brain will not allow them to choose anything but me. If he orgasms he gets a huge flush of prolactin that makes my feminine powers almost useless. As long as he gets consistent pleasure for obedience the chemicals flow around in his blood until they are motabolized. I need to constantly replace those chemicals faster than they are taken out of the blood stream. Thankfully the body Takes them out slowly because they are there to force him to reproduce. Orgasms are the only thing I know of that can instantly flush those chemicals I depend on out. If I make it more entertaining to “not orgasm” than to orgasm then he will willingly play along.
Im kinda curious......whose idea was the chastity, yours or his? And did you start out very strict or end up going there because he didn't obey you very well? Or didn't take it very serious in the beginning? And is that the fifth element in you ticker? lol
I’m not sure any of this stuff is really great or even needed. I’m obedient because I’m a sub; I can only be truly happy in a Female Led Relationship. Obedience is what I crave. If you need to be manipulated to be obedient I’m not entirely sure why you’re putting yourself in a submissive role. I personally find the act of being manipulated offensive. I do what I’m told because that’s the truest expression of my self & I love the person telling me what to do; if I felt like She thought She must manipulate me to make me obedient I’d feel cheapened, like my relationship was a sham. It would be awful. That being said, games are awesome, & a little pretend & play is fun. I also know there are definitely things that enhance my feelings of submission; for me it tends to be things like being told what to do in public, not being allowed to order food in a restaurant, never being allowed to drive when we’re together, being required to clean her w/my mouth after she pees...or being required to sit to pee, wear a chastity, etc. Even being ordered to work at my jewelry bench naked...She took one of my denim aprons & decorated it really girly so if I have to alloy metal I wear that so I always feel extremely submissive to her even if I can’t be naked for safety’s sake. It’s the casual, every day expressions of dominance & rule following that the rest of the world is oblivious to which keeps me constantly reminded of What I am. The best part is it keeps Her from having to work so hard to give me the control I need. That’s me; whatever works for you, more power to you.
I am glad your happy with all that. If my man was like you it would have been entirely more easy. A lot of what you do my husband would never voulentary do. Your a different type of person all together. In the case of my husband I had to have Techniques that could turn him from “game playing cheato orange fingered fat man” who spent his time having one handed affairs with virtual porn whores into a human being. You seem to be quite different.
The fifth element? “Never without permission?” Yes. Strict? Am I strict? I had not noticed? Who thinks I am strict?
I don't remember the never without permission part though I haven't seen it in a long time and my wife hates it with a passion lol. Yes you seem strict to me. But i'm not judging just an observation from my point of view.