Chastity Advice

Having the right cage is a key part of it. What are you using and how does it fit?

 

Exercise and read a non-sexaul/erotic book or something that fits your business interest.

So for example ( I am not caged ) and I woke up hard ... I read one of my books and distracted myself.

 

Try channeling your lust into affection for her. I have learned to do it. It will take the edge off some . Also the right cage for you is very important . I like stainless steel . Night time erections are part of it. It will get easier over time. Try going to the bath rm then back to bed
Wish you luck on your journey

 

This was a huge help: https://allknight.com/products/mens-wear/bdsm-mens-harness/cock-jock-cock-harness.aspx

That harness holds the weight of the cage. Combined with the correct fit and you'll bately notice your cage all day (until you have horny thoughts and try to get hard) This harness helped me get back in the gym because its so comftorable.

 

I feel it is also useful to keep in mind that the first week is the hardest. Then the second week. But once you hit about the three week mark, the frustration seems to go down. At least for me.

 

It usually takes me about four days to get conditioned. Still get horny but channel it towards serving.

 

Just ordered one, thanks for the link, have had a problem since switching to a heavier steel cage when working in the yard on weekends, this is going to be perfect!

 

you need a range of diversionary activities - read, exercise, cook, anything to concentrate the mind on something else.

 

I am lucky, as I've gone into long term denial I've had my wife's libido rise as my permission to orgasm has diminished. So for me I get to channel all of my pent up frustration into serving my KH. I'm actually in a state of constant horniness now and I get very little relief except for the fact that my KH wants O's all the time. It's really amazing what can happen when you take the stress away at home and in the bedroom. Suddenly, "No I have a headache" becomes "Oh yeah, I have a headache, can you help me with that?"

I found that there is no drop anymore, it took about a week before I felt less frantic, so just hang in there.

Night time erections also were only a problem before, now I don't know, I think maybe my sack skin has gotten used to stretching as I use a ball capture device. I've woken with my cage sticking way up and my balls practically touching my glans. So yeah, go pee, take a shower. It will go down and then you can go back to sleep. If it's taking too much of your sleep time during the work week, then maybe go slow and only wear it at times when it's not such a tight schedule. Eventually you get used to it and the pain will stop. Make sure you have a properly fitted device though. If not you'll be in for a world of pain and that's not worth it. Good luck and let us know how things go for you.

 

I find that when you wake in the middle of the night smear some vaseline or Norwegian formula hand cream around the cock ring under your scrotum. I usually find that the steel/plastic is sticking to my skin and pulling it. The lube allows it to slide a little and will be absorbed over time.
As to the mental frustration, it is alleviated by redirecting your energy into other tasks such as exercise or research or hobbies.

 

I think you're doing great, everything you describe is normal. The frustration you describe is the very goal of being chaste -- you don't want to take your mind off of it, you want to use it to help you make the changes in your male personality and in your relationship that you are seeking. Accept that frustration and let it help shape your submission -- tell yourself that these are the feelings that chaste men have as they give up their alpha ways and accept the leadership of their Goddess. Over time the frustration will be replaced with submissive acceptance that you are not like other men, not like the masturbator that you used to be, and that you are becoming better at serving your Goddess and becoming emotionally open to her. The nighttime issues, too, will get better with time, though for me they've never gone totally away; I tell myself that it's part of giving up my erections, of giving her the control over them that I need to become truly and fully submissive to her. Hang in there, and good luck.

 

Brilliant post Rectrix. What you say can be useful for ANY of life's challenges. "Embrace the suck" as we say in mountain biking.

Thank you for the most excellent advice.

 

I personally go the opposite way as far as what to think about than others listed...I don’t try to “not think about sex”, I embrace it. One of the pleasures of not having control is the fore play of not knowing when. I look at erotic things, I talk to her, send her pictures etc. I even make plans about the evening I may have planned for her. It is definitely not for the easily tempted though.

I actually have a harder time when the device is on and it’s not part of foreplay and isn’t necessary. When your sick, just had an orgasm, or when life sneaks in there and sex isn’t part of it. I look down and wonder why the hell am I wearing this thing.

So channel your energy into non sexual stuff if ya like, I myself revel in it, embrace it, and use it as fuel to keep going.

 

Nicoftime, it sounds to me as if you and Rectrix have similar attitudes. I like them both.

 

Hi this is Ashley and I asked my husband about your,”problem”. He said it was rough. Taking for granted that your not cutting off circulation which you would certainly know by now if you are, it’s just going to take time.

He said whenever he was in pain he would think about how much his pain was pleasing me and it helped him cope until he became relatively pain free.

 

Ashley, can you clarify please: does his pain actually please you? Or does your husband mean that he is gladly undergoing discomfort in order to please you? Either is OK, of course. I just want to make sure I understand your position.

I think for my wife, she would not enjoy me being in pain....but she LOVES that I cannot give myself any appreciable pleasure--nor does she feel obligated to provide it for me either. Hence, I keep quiet about the discomfort.....

 

To go in a little more depth, my husband approached me about locking his cock. We both read about it and he made it very clear that he wants me to only remove his cage when I had originally planned and for only the activities I had previously planned. He said he did not want me to be nice and he wanted no say in anything about his cock. He also made it clear that regardless of any pain he might experience and even if he begged, he only wanted me to remove his cage if "I" wanted. While telling me this his cock became rock hard so I know it turned him on.

I didn't think I would really enjoy the whole chastity thing but I was extremely wrong. I fucking love doing this to him and he still beggs from time to time and when I refuse to remove his cage his cock hurts even more. (I do check for actual injury)

I've evolved and probably will continue to do so.

I really hope for you and your wife that she comes to enjoy your pain but remember there is a difference between erotic pain and injury. Just don't let your balls turn the color blue and you should be ok. When your in pain, remember who the pain is for and why you are in chastity.

Ashley

 

I've enjoyed your contributions here (I've read back through past posts too). Since you initially didn't think you'd like it, but have now evolved and love it, you're in a position many of us are trying to achieve with our wives and can provide valuable insight. I hope you'll open your own account and get Verified.

 

The first and most important thing is to make sure the device is right for you. Size of cage and ring can make a huge difference. I experimented with several types of device materials and sizes before finding the correct device for me. I found that I need a medium sized ring and I strongly prefer a metal device over plastic or silicon.

The cage size can be tricky but I find that shorter is better for me. By short I mean that the tip rubs against the end of the cage when the member is flaccid. This may seem counter intuitive but I found that nipping any erection in the bud is much less painful than allowing a partial erection.

If the device is sized correctly the only thing to do is deal with the discomfort and frustration. When I had been locked for a while I was amazed that my mind was clear and I was able to focus much more clearly. Perhaps it is true that men think about sex every ten seconds because when I accepted my chaste existence I was much more productive.

So hang in there the first week is the hardest (pun intended) and it gets easier as you go along.

 

@janderson32151 i agree with rectrix and also am glad You have got into this and learned to like it and are enjoying it. It shows others that are not sure that maybe just give it a try and You may actually really like it all around