First let me tell what happened and after that ask how it works in your Household. Yesterday my 6 year old son caused a lot of irritation which put me in a horrible mood. There was some disagreement about the handling of our son after that and it sent me in to grumpy mood. I left the scene but made sure not to touch my mobile phone. I needed to calm down, reorder my thoughts but there was a big irritation against my KH.. At one point she called my name a few times and I didn't answer. At one point I answered and said - I don't want to hear you. So to cut it short I was nasty with her. She went up to bath the kids (normally joint responsibility) and once they were watching their 20 minutes of tele she came down. She ordered me in the small room behind the kitchen. I knew what was coming but the sensation and the feeling was so weird. I was still angry at her. But when she said - you come, go in that room. I lowered my head and did as told. She then told me to put down my pants and really went to town with the riding crop. She told me what each hit was for as she usually does and then at one point I disagreed with her. That was weird but I couldn't let her hit me for that specific thing. It was to do with limits for our son so I turned around and said that is not the right setting to discuss this which almost stopped punishment. (I might have gotten one more hit) Result of punishment: I changed my attitude and helped her out a lot more then before and we were close again. However the last part left a stain. In hindsight I should have just endured the punishment and found another moment to talk about it calmly. So now the question. Does or did that happen to any of you that you disobey during punishment or disagree? Do you sometimes flat out refuse punishment, do you regret it after? Here my take. I am happy that I obeyed and took punishment but I will not push back. Her punishment session, her rules for what she punishes.
I have never been in that situation. I submit to @Mistress Jules its her rules and how and when punishment takes place. I don't see how it would work for us if I questioned her authority. I asked her to dominate me I asked her to take control. I never really challenge her or disagreed with her. What I used to do was pout. That did not work out too well for me. I think if I thought a punishment was unjust I would just have to take and keep quiet about it. Thats easy to say now as its never happened.
thanks for your response @lockit I totally agree that is how it should be. We are at the very beginning of this. On the positive side. She did get me out of my "down". But I agree it was wrong from me.
I would not say you were wrong. We all do things the way it works for us. When you put children in the mix it changes things. We are only dealing with each other that makes it easier for us.
Most of my "punishments" are really "funishments". Though if she is pissed off over something, I'll know about it - not so much in how hard the spanking is, but more the verbal chastisement during the spanking.
The closest I've ever come to stopping a punishment is when she pushed me past my breaking point. I had a flight or fight reflex kick in and I was starting to get up to run away. I managed to resist and got past it. I think one of the things that makes punishment work for us is I keep a list and submit it to her once a week and she punishes me. I think if she told me to put something on my list that I strongly disagreed with (like how to discipline the kids) I might argue it at that time. She rarely punishes right in the moment when something happens. This avoids the heat of the moment disagreement. the few times when she does punish me in the moment I have always richly deserved it.
Thanks guys for all your input. I really appreciate all the answers . My lady is asleep and I am enjoying some wine. Will share a bit more on Monday. when I can type on a real keyboard..
Hell no! Actually one thing I struggle with very much is edging myself with the magic wand. When it comes to that I'm always 100% honest with her and put it on my list. I think control over my penis is what she has and that should include this. Beyond that though, no I don't go looking for added punishment. Sometimes when she is criticizing me for something I will ask if I need to add it to my list. A couple of weeks back I forgot to turn off the alarm in the morning. I set it off and woke her up. When I went to apologize to her she was giving me one of those deadly stares and after apologizing I asked if I needed to add it to my list. She added 10 strokes for that. The list concept works well for us. We tried it where we just had a punishment day, but she never really kept track. The result was I could have 6 lousy days followed by a good day and get off light or a great week with a few screw ups just before punishment day would cost me. Ultimately I am here to serve her and make her life easier, so it seemed logical for me to take on this responsibility. I just wrote it up and presented it to her one week and she really liked it. She now expects my list and I get into big trouble if I don't submit it on time.
I've been in that spot a few times. What works is learning to find time to talk about it at a later time. These are parenting decisions and your voice should at least be heard. As for the pouting and not answering, that has been my pattern as well. We've found a pretty good solution. When I got like that in the past, she'd explain why I was being a dick and she didn't like having to do that. We now have a simple signal when she feels I'm getting out of line: a snap of her fingers. It means, 'you're being a dick and in the next few minutes or hours, I'm taking the riding crop to your balls". Though I'm learning to love the crop, the balls are not funnishment........it really hurts. It seems to be working. She doesn't have to explain herself to me, the finger snap is both sexy as hell and means fairly dreadful things are in the future. It keeps me in line but there is still plenty of time to have parenting conversations when the 'dickishness' has passed. Hope this makes sense.
well i has got up when it hurt ever such a lot but i never sayed no i wont have none and if i do stand up i always go down again and have all the paddle that i have. its better than having it again sometime.
I think that is the way to go. thanks for sharing your advice. 100% / hit the nail right on the head. Thanks
To answer your question Yes I have disobeyed my wife while she was disciplining me and even had an argument with her over why she's strapping me. This caused her to stop the discipline untill a later time when we both calmed down and I realized that I had done wrong. Then I was disciplined again a lot harder and longer than before. This disobeying her hasn't happened in many years. I have learned to just except the punishment she gives me when she gives it and to talk about it later, usuall before going to bed. In the past few years, maybe 10, I haven't disobeyed her when it comes to punishment and I know I'm a nicer and kinder person today because of her.
We'd been involved in bdsm before our more FLM began evolving in a serious way. So being a bit of a masochist at heart anyway what some might consider a punishment may for me be more of intense foreplay. As more structure and "rules" found their way into the marriage we had some long talks (at her initiative" about times that she considered that more than a good talk was needed for her to underscore the point she wanted to make. It doesn't happen often. And in hindsight it seems that i've been "corrected" for little little things: having a sulking moment, getting too loud or cursing when it's not appropriate that lead to a talk and a little time with Mr. Goodstick ( a delran cane.) As much as i can take in a scene with a warmup and the right setting 6 (or more) of the best with Mr. Goodstick makes an impression. And leaves a reminder
It wasn't mentioned in your recounting of the events, so I don't know if that was the case, but in our household we have a rule: no punishing when mad. My Lady always takes the time to consider the event instead of being emotional about it. She has pretty much zero empathy, which makes her a good Mistress, but she does know that she can make mistakes when hasty.