Wife finds out before I even begin!

So after a couple longer spread out posts I decided to start a journal here. First few posts will be mostly copy and paste and a bit lengthy but I figured it would be nice to have my thoughts and experiences along the way in one place in chronological order in case I ever want to look back on how this all started! Please feel free to share comments and thoughts as I go! Criticism, suggestions and advice is most definitely welcome. Sorry as I'm typing this out this first post is very long! Hope you all can stick with me!

For some background I am 31 wife is a year younger than I am. We've been married for 4 years now and we have two beautiful young children together. Our sex life has always been relatively normal with a little bit of experimenting at the beginning which tapered off as we got more comfortable and found each other's likes and dislikes and as our life became busier. We've tried some really light barely even bondage stuff like tying to the bed a few times and blindfolds. She's let me experiment with dripping candle wax (which she did not enjoy) and we've brought several toys of various shapes sizes and functions into the bedroom. She's always been fairly open minded but knows to say no if something crosses the line. I've been into anal giving and receiving for a while even before her and she was down to try receiving (which was a hard no after the second attempt) but has zero interest in doing anything like that to me. Which I totally respect and as a result I have a few toys of my own that I keep put away and I play by myself sometimes. She knows about it but it's basically don't ask don't tell.

Over the years as I've said we more or less dropped the experimentation aspect and we pretty much have a routine when it comes to sex. I'm not a minute man but I definitely don't have the stamina to go for very long periods of time and she has always taken a long time to go from just penetration so she basically never finishes from just PIV sex. She had never used vibrators before we got together and basically just dealt with selfish lovers. The first toys we ever bought together were a rather large rabbit style dildo/vibrator and a cordless magic wand style vibrator and those have been a staple in our bedroom ever since. Our routine is generally missionary to start then when I know I won't last much longer she gets her wand and she uses that to finish while I try to hold off. Then when she gets her O I finish up. Of I go before her on accident we'll break out the dildo and I'll use that on her to bring her to climax. We usually have sex more or less once a week when she's not at her TOTM or if the weekend is particularly busy or I piss her off then we won't do it lol. So we definitely don't have a dead bedroom we just know what works and have a basic predictable routine. I've randomly bought other toys and things to try and spice things up a bit but basically it either doesn't work at all or we get over the novelty and resort back to what we know works for us.

Now some background for myself, I've always had a very high libido. I usually masturbate at least once a day unless I know we're going to have sex that day. Sometimes twice if I'm bored and horny that day. That usually leads me to playing grab ass all week while she tolerates my advances since I know it won't lead to anything till the weekend. In hindsight this is basically her already used to the denial aspect of this particular kink haha! I've always masturbated a LOT I don't know if I'd categorize it as an addiction perse but if I was in the mood and had internet connection and 20 minutes uninterrupted I'd probably crank one out. But I much preferred late at night hour+ with tons of tabs of varying genres open at the same time type of self love. After years of porn you start to get desensitized to the regular stuff and I did start into different kinks and fetishes from feet stuff to bondage to sissification. Which I guess is where I first came across the chastity cage. It's been an interest for a long time but never really something I thought I'd do. I liked the idea of pegging but never into the real trans stuff unless they were very passable and attractive. A girl with a passable trans is just straight porn with extra boobs right? Lmao. My wife has never protested the amount of porn that I watch but has voiced concern over some of the types of porn. But again that just fell into a don't ask don't tell situation and she just forgets about it.

So during one of my late night sessions I also had open a sex toy site that we've used in the past to order some of our stuff and I was browsing. I had a couple small things in my cart but needed something else to bump it to the free shipping level (that's how they get ya) I went into the male devices section and I saw the cages. Opened some chastity porn with the captions and imagined myself wearing one while maybe trying to achieve a prostate orgasm (which has still eluded me to this point). The idea got me very aroused and on impulse I just added it to my cart and hit buy. Now at this point I had never found this site or really looked into it more than just a seldom thought of fantasy. I never had the thought of bringing it up to my wife as I figured this would just be my little kink that I do on my own time same as the anal play and it would stay as that.

My new CB6000s came in two Thursdays ago (Mar 24) while my wife was out at a doctors appointment. I was still home as I work afternoons and the kids were napping. I took it downstairs to check it out. Tried to put it on but obviously failed since I was too excited. I put it all away with my other stuff and went to go get ready for work. On my drive to work I got a picture message from my wife. It was a screenshot of the order page with the device on it! My heart sank. I was caught. What is she going to think? Is she going to think I'm some kind of freak? How am I going to explain this? We share a computer and I don't generally hide anything from her so everything is open and logged in all the time. She had to use the computer for something and an email popped up with a delivery notification from earlier. She obviously recognized the site and clicked on it thinking I had bought something else random to try in bed with her. She wasn't mad she just had no clue what it was. So me being super embarrassed I told her we would have a talk when I got home and that she wasn't supposed to see that. Obviously she was curious and started looking it up and was even more confused as everything she saw talked about using it with a partner which I had indicated wasn't what I had intended. I comforted her and assured her I wasn't cheating or anything like that I just bought it on impulse to mess around with myself and really had no intention of bringing it up to her since I'd assumed she would have no interest.

Later that night when I got home we say down and actually had a discussion about it. I told her my ideas on it and what the possibilities for it could be with couples play. She seemed curious enough about it and not outright put off by it, so after getting over my initial embarrassment I went and got it and showed it to her. I told her that even though the intent for me at the time was to use it alone that the real fantasy was to be locked up and give up control and now that she knows I would definitely like to experiment if she is willing. Much to my surprise she said she was willing to try it out with me even if only to satisfy my curiosity and to maybe spice things up in the bedroom. So without any real prep work or looking into it at all I threw it together and put it on infront of her and handed her the keys! And that's how I immediately went from zero minutes in chastity to spending my first night locked up!

 

So as expected that first night didn't go the greatest. Again I had barely done any research and just slapped on the first device I came across on the internet onto my dick for an extended period of time... It felt fun at first but I was very hyper aware of the device and obviously very aroused. I had the largest ring with the largest spacer in the CB6000s which definitely left lots of room to grow and pull on my balls.

Next couple entries are copy and paste so I don't have to type out everything again I'll add the date that they were posted.

 

Friday March 25

Anyways it came in yesterday and after our conversation last night we decided to try it out over night and see if it's something we are into. I struggled a bit with being aroused trying to get it on but after a bit I was able to lock it up with the biggest ring and biggest spacer. I'm not huge by any means but the tip was at the end of the tube and once I calmed down it seemed pretty comfortable and I enjoyed the feeling of having it there.

Problem comes with the fact that I'm new with this and hyper aware of the fact that something is on my junk and kept getting aroused all night. I was able to sleep but I did wake up a few times and it was pulling the whole thing away from my body trying to get fully hard. I didn't slip out or anything but when we took it off in the morning I was quite sore and had some throbbing pain in my right testicle. Kinda like a bad case of blue balls. I did end up rubbing one out to kinda calm everything down and hopefully reset for later tonight or this weekend and the pain eventually did go away.

After doing a bit of research today I realize there's probably a few other better options out there but since I've spent the money and it wasn't exactly cheap I'd like to give this one an honest go before looking at other alternatives. So my question is what tips would any users give me to help with the pulling when getting aroused? Would smaller ring and bridge help to stop getting hard before it happens? Anything else? Also any tips for concealment. Ideally I'd like to be able to wear this all day while out or at work but with the padlock there definitely is a noticeable bulge even with tight underwear. I assume the plastic locks would be more discrete but I don't want to blow through those all the time either.

Thanks in advance for any information or ideas!

 

March 26

Update. Wife and I are just trying to get used to it right now so we agreed for now I will still masturbate when I have to. So I did it in the shower after work to kinda reset myself and make it easier to work with the cage. I moved from the largest ring to the middle ring and from the largest spacer to the smallest. I had a little trouble with the spacer trying to get it all closed up as it pinched a couple times but it's on now and feels a lot more secure. I'm headed to bed and hoping it'll go a bit better tonight!

 

March 28

I started out with the largest ring and largest spacer but found it would push up a lot with an erection and as it was the first time I was aroused a LOT and it started getting painful because the whole thing was moving forward and pulling on the sack. I went to middle ring and smallest spacer next which was pretty good and I was able to sleep in it but it still pulls when I get an erection and I get a lot of bulge behind the spacer.

Trying to avoid this I tried the next smaller ring. I was able to put it on with the whole ring assembled as if it was a solid ring and then get the cage on and it felt pretty secure but very quickly I noticed the sack getting darker. That scared me off and I backtracked to what I had before. Is that as tight as I can go and I just have to deal with the bulging and pulling or is there anything I can do to move down a size or stop the pulling forward?

 

March 29 (reply to a comment)

Not sure we're ready for 24/7 yet but glad to know the discoloration is mostly normal. I'm going to stick with the 6ks for a bit because it was kind of pricey I have figured out I think I'll need a smaller cage for next time though as when fully flacid it doesn't fully fill the tube. To help with this I took out the spacer and put it in front of the cage so it pushes the cage tight up against the ring and effectively makes it a bit shorter. The gap at my testicles was too small with the middle ring though and it was quite painful even just sitting so I went up a ring size. When I would get hard it pushes up like before so I used a shoe lace to tie it at the ring and hold it close to my body. This seems to be the most secure and most comfortable configuration so far. When I get an erection it just puts a lot of pressure on everything down there but nothing moves. I'm going to look for a better more comfortable "strap" to hold it in place but I'm pretty happy with it so far.

I'm going to try out this configuration for a few days. Taking it off only to go to work and shower when I get home. Then back on for the night. Still new and self conscious of the bulge and I know I'm not going to wank at work so this is what's going to work for now till I take the plunge to wear it out amongst people I know haha.

 

March 30

After sleeping in it and wearing for several hours only taking it off to shower and go to work for a few days I decided today I would try my first 24 hour stretch of being continuously caged.

At 20 hours locked now which is the longest so far. Doing well at work right now and I'm starting to feel less self conscious about the added bulge. Pretty horny too since I'm constantly thinking about the cage and I'm used to jerking off 1-2 times daily and haven't had orgasm since Saturday. It doesn't seem like much but baby steps.

Trying to get used to the cage and being frustrated this week as the wife wants me to masturbate Friday night after work and lock up and she will take the keys for the first time. She plans to tease me as much as she can and she said she will unlock for fun either Saturday or Sunday night. Kinda hoping she makes me wait till Sunday!

 

April 3

Just over a week of testing out the device and getting comfortable. My wife took the keys Friday night and locked me up for the first time. She said she would tease all day an we would play the next day. Well we were pretty busy with the kids during the day so teasing was a bit light and earlier in the week some friends asked me to go hang out for a bit so I was gone for a couple hours last night after dinner. Of course she said no when I asked if she'd unlock me to go since I'd never worn it around friends yet haha

Got home and she unlocked me so I could shower and I assumed clean up before some play time in the bedroom. She watched to make sure I wasn't doing anything and when I got out she told me to lock back up! I said I thought we were going to play and she said nah we were too busy and she didn't get enough time to properly tease me how she wanted and she wanted to make me wait. This coming from my super vanilla wife who has been apprehensive of the whole thing made me hard as a rock lol. Waited for things to calm down and she watched the process of me putting it on for the first time and promptly clicked the lock shut. We capped off the night by me giving her a foot rub and her scratching my head while we watched our show.

Today she's made an effort to tease a bit more. Still hard with two young kids lol. She's made a point to brush against me a few times and "checked" to make sure it's still locked up even though she has the keys haha. She left the keys on the counter and swiped them away with a sly smile when I went in there for something else. She's had them in her pocket since then and I get hard whenever I hear them softly jingle when she walks by. I think she's getting some fun out of it which I'm really happy about. Hopefully she lets me out tonight after kids go to bed!

Also another fun thing I noticed last night I woke up a couple times really having to pee but didn't have the accompanying morning wood this time. That was my 4th night wearing the device and not all in a row so an unexpected but not unwelcome development.

 

April 4

So update! Last night was amazing. After we got the kids down for bed we cleaned up the house a bit (toddler aka mini tornado) then she told me to go shower up. I asked if we were gonna do it and with a smile she said she'd decide after her massage I promised her. She unlocked me and I got ready. Unusually like to keep a short beard but she prefers me clean shaven so... Of course I shaved for her haha.

Without being too graphic she got her massage and I made sure to kiss her neck and body how I know she likes. Just trying to make it really sensual. At one point I asked her again if we were going to do it and she said it would be mean to lock me back up. I told her that was entirely up to her and although I'd be frustrated in the moment it would be a turn on that she's getting into the chastity idea. She said she couldn't anyways because she wants it bad and I told her then I've done my job! It's my job to make her want it and on her terms.

She has only gotten an O from solely piv like twice our whole relationship so we usually use toys when I'm close and then I'll finish after she goes. This time she was really worked up and got really really close before I had to stop. So although we still had to use her vibrator it was a major progress over the normal because she was really into it. I'll probably look into a desensitization spray or something for next time since we both hate condoms. But definitely up there as some of the best sex we've ever had.

Afterwards we cleaned up and had a drink together while watching our show in bed. Fantastic night.

When we were cleaning up in the bathroom she joked about me putting it right back on and I said I would if she wants me to! She said no I can have a bit of free time but she wants me to lock up after work today. She said I can take it off Wednesdays and Fridays for cleaning and I can please myself those days and she would decide what we do on the weekends.

Still not entirely sure if she's actually into all this or if she's just playing the part for me. I don't want to push it and turn her away from it so I'm just gonna go with the flow for now and maybe have a discussion about how she feels about it all maybe next weekend.

I'm pretty happy with how things are going and happy to take the slow and steady approach. We'll see how this week goes. I may talk to her about getting a new more comfortable cage lol.

 

Yeah I plan on getting both the HT clone and the kink3d clone on eBay. Both super cheap and both come with multiple rings. The HT looks very comfortable but I like the more open design of the kink3d for easier cleaning without taking it off as much. Eventually I'd probably get the real deal of whichever one I like best. I'm going to talk to the wife about it when we see where we're at after this week of play. She wasn't super pleased with the amount that I spent on this one lol told her no surprises from now on so I'll definitely consult her first.

 

Thanks for the input! I'll definitely keep that in mind as that does not sound pleasant lol. I know there will be some quality differences between the knockoffs and real ones but I hope I can use the knockoffs to refine the fit before I order a good one. For all its faults the cb6ks has been a decent starter to help figure out roughly what fits and what doesn't. I'm still experimenting and may actually go down a ring size soon.

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it and actually stuck through to read all of that. Lol as I was typing it out and posting I was thinking man this is just a wall of text and no one's gonna want to sit through all of that. But it's nice to have it all there even for myself. Which part resonates with you? We're obviously super new to this but it's already such an interesting journey.

I love how my wife has reacted so far and I think this will really open a new line of communication for us. After 4 years of marriage I shouldn't have felt the shame or need to hide it from her in the first place. I have since apologized for that and promised to communicate better so that is a win right off the go!

 

Yeah we've always been pretty good with communication throughout our relationship but maybe we just stopped making a point to go out of our way to have discussions about things. This has kindof reinforced the importance of communication for us and is already been a positive thing in our relationship even if it stops here. We'll see how everything progresses moving forward.

 

I've actually found I'm doing quite well with night time. I locked back up after work yesterday and slept fine over night. I'm finding that I wake up in the morning having the strong urge to pee but without the accompanying morning wood at all.

I sleep with a strap holding the ring close to my body so it keeps everything contained nicely.

 

Usually my wife is asleep by the time I get home from work since I'm on an afternoon shift and she doesn't like to be up late since she gets up with the kids in the morning. But last night she waited up for me to get home. I had gone to work uncaged per her request. I had asked if she wanted me caged after we made live Sunday night and she said I could have some free time. I wouldn't have minded being locked up again but I'm letting her make the decisions so I went free. When I got home my bag with my cage which I keep inside my nightstand was on top of it now and I knew exactly what that meant.

I already knew she wanted me to lock up after work but seeing that she took the initiative got me pretty excited. I picked up the bag and she told me to give her the keys. I asked if she was going to wait for me to finish my shower to lock me up but she was tired so she said she trusted me to lock myself and not do anything in the meantime and she would take the keys so I can't unlock later. I kissed her goodnight and went to shower. True to my word I did not pleasure myself even though the temptation was there and I clicked the lock shut once again.

Currently at work straining against my cage thinking about it.

Today is our 4 year marriage anniversary. So on my way home from work last night I had stopped and got her some flowers and after my shower I put together the other little trinkets I had for her and two of her favorite bottles of wine with a card and left them on the counter for her to find in the morning.

I usually try to treat her a bit for birthdays and anniversaries and she is always very appreciative. Nothing very sexual happened today besides some light teasing and her jingling the keys on purpose from the other room since she's found out that gets me going haha. But just seeing her happy and in a great mood made me happy. We snuggled on the couch and watched cartoons with the kids till naptime. It's been a good day.

At one point she brought up the cage and asked how I was doing down there to which I told her I was great. I saw this as my opening to probe a bit more to gauge her feelings on the whole thing and we had a very nice conversation on the topic. I told her that I was very happy with how things were going so far and I was enjoying myself. I asked what her thoughts were and she said the same. I asked if she was just playing a role for me or is she genuinely having fun with our new roles? She told me no if she was just doing it for me she probably would've humoured me once and then just said it's not for her and left me to play with it on my own. She says she doesn't get off on the controlling aspect because that's not how she is but she does really like the fact that she now knows I'm not looking at porn. She said before when we used to have sex if she wasn't in the mood she could justify it by just saying oh you can just go look at stuff and do your own thing and that would sometimes turn her off. Now she knows my advances towards her are genuine and for her alone and I'm not thinking about anything else so she is definitely more into it and more aroused by the thought of being intimate.

I told her I was so happy to hear these things. I want her to feel that way. I've always lusted for her but would always just find release in other things when she wasn't in the mood. Now I can't do that. My energy is focused solely on her. I also brought up one of her initial concerns which was that she said this wouldn't become a lifestyle thing because she just doesn't have the time or energy to focus on teasing me sexually all the time. I told her now that I've grown to understand this all a bit more that that doesn't have to be the case. It doesn't really have to affect our daily lives outside of the bedroom much at all. I said yes if we go months without you showing any interest or affection towards me at all I would likely become depressed and want to stop but it doesn't have to be sexual l the time. With the cage I think about her all the time. My arousals are no longer just a random boner in the middle of the day. When I feel myself straining against the cage I have no choice but to immediately think of her. She said she likes that idea very much. I said just the simple act of cuddling a little more or to reciprocate if I come up and hug her or rub a hand on her in passing from behind (which I do a lot even before the cage) would go a long way. Doesn't have to be sexual. Just intimacy is what I crave.

All in all it was a very positive conversation and I got a better feel of where her head is at right now. She's coming around more and more to these ideas and she's taking initiative herself which is fantastic. So for this week I'll be allowed out Wednesday and Friday to clean and she says I can take care of myself those days as well and then she'll decide if and when we play on the weekends together.

She's given me the green light to order a new cheaper cage to test out so I'll likely be doing that soon. The CB is ok but it is quite bulky and the shaft is too long. So I'm going to try out either the HTv4 or the kink3d knockoff and go from there.

Leaning towards the kink3d because I like the open cage and figure it'll be easier to clean. Since I'm on opposite shifts with my wife I'd like to be able to keep the cage on to shower so I don't have to wake her to unlock me or have her leave the keys out. Any other suggestions?

Sorry this one was longer again haha.
Thanks for reading!

 

Hey! I just posted another entry right above your comment lol. Pretty much at the same time. That's great that your wife is finding something to enjoy out of it and is seeing the positive changes you're making. I think mine is starting to come around more as well. Slow and steady wins the race right?
I'll check out your post when I have some time to read!

Thanks again for following along with mine!

 

So just now I had my first meh feelings towards the cage and figured I'd write it down.

I was locked Monday after work till Wednesday after work. So my first 48 hr stretch which went very well. Then I was allowed out and allowed to take care of myself. Watching porn was ok but it's weird going back to it after cutting down so much. Sex with my wife last weekend was just so much better.

I was allowed to keep it off till now because I just got back from a concert. We had discussed this when we first started a couple weeks ago and that I wouldn't be going in the cage but I wasn't allowed to pleasure myself and had to go back in the cage after I get home which was totally fair. I didn't have the urge to masturbate so no worries there but I just didn't feel like putting the cage on. I grabbed it and just seriously really contemplated leaving it off and seeing if she even notices or says something and just say I was tired and forgot.

I ended up just saying fine and put it on and it feels good to have it back on but still a bit meh. Maybe I'm just super wiped from the concert or still a bit under the influence which is affecting my emotions. But it's on and I left the keys on her dresser so hopefully she'll be happy in the morning that I remembered and I'll be in a better headspace.

Anyways yeah just wanted to write that out. Need sleep now!

 

Feeling better today. Had a good night's rest and woke up this morning to the more and more familiar feeling of straining in the cage. The morning wood isn't too crazy these days so it's more just a reassuring pressure.

Wife was in a good mood since the kids have been behaving today lol and she pulled out her keys and jingled them for me and claimed she found my present with a smile. So that was good to see she noticed and was happy I put it on.

Thanks for the reassuring comments! I know I made the right choice.

Also most likely just a coincidence but she's wearing her wedding rings again today. She had gained some weight last year due to a medical issue and then we got pregnant so she couldn't wear them for a while. Now after the birth of our son she's been working to get the weight down and now they fit again. I'm not going to read too much into it and say that she's wearing them again because of the chastity and change in our relationship but I'm just really happy to see her wearing them again!