Ideas, Rules, Rewards/Punishments

I think getting too into points for chores makes the whole affair become more bookkeeping than fetish lifestyle.

And I am someone who likes his spreadsheets.

It also ignores a key facet of training, in that the trainee should behave and maybe get a reward. That's not the same as cashing in enough points.

If you are playing with a fixed period in chastity, having extra days added on can however be extremely effective.

It can also be fun to make gambles or bets with the stakes being days released early or days added on.

And I think this is key, make sure whatever system you use is one that you can have fun with... Not one that just descends into bookkeeping

 

This is really hard to answer without knowing your dynamic and hard limits. Do you want cheeky fun punishment or harsh and brutal.

So apologies if my suggestions squick you.

Punishments/funishments I have experimented with.

*Spanking and impact play, from a cheeky slap to the cane and tawse.

* Extra days in the cage (with suitable teasing of "you'd have been out by now if you behaved")

* Cum eating. / Cream pie eating.

* Gagging

* Naked Corner time

 

I have to agree, if you could post again giving some details to what your in to, or what you have previously tried, we will be able to advise you better.

 

It might be worth having a think about what punishment is for.

If you are training something, be it teaching a student, training a puppy or training a kinky submissive then a key thing is consistency. You mark out the lines they do not cross and you apply sanctions.

But a lot of us here get off on the giving-up-control aspect of chastity. This opens up play along the lines of a capricious dominant who spanks you or gives you extra days in chastity just because it amused them.

This kind of play can be really hot, but it's not strictly punishment

 

We started Chastity as an incentive for me to lose weight. Wife was not into chastity but it gave her a reason to help me. If not weight then maybe gym workouts, whatever. That way she is helping you towards a goal and maybe will see the benefits of you being locked up. That how we started years ago and now I’m locked up always because she realized how my attitude changed towards her. She is now totally into the Chastity lifestyle.

 

Don’t bother with points or penalties just yet. Decide on those later. You do havea built in penalty though. And that is if you don’t achieve your goal, you stay locked.

 

Don’t bother with points or penalties just yet. Decide on those later. You do havea built in penalty though. And that is if you don’t achieve your goal, you stay locked.

 

At the beginning, one rule that we had was that I could only bring up chastity once a month to discuss how it was going.

I wasn't allowed to ask for a release except for health or hygiene purposes. Orgasms were in her control. I couldn't ask for them.

She was in charge in the bedroom. I could initiate touch of a sexual nature but only after gentle caressing, cuddling, etc. If she moved me hands away from her erogenous areas, I was to cease all attempts at sexual stimulation.

 

Surely, a large part of the fun is for you to develop the rules and games you play with your wife?

We don't really have any rules or chastity games, since we both like chastity and the resulting horniness. We're both adults so the idea of punishments are a bit nonsense in our world.

I'm caged when she likes, she lets me out when she likes, she doesn't want me to cum and neither do I since me being horny feels nice and it makes us both horny, which results in us seem somewhat like horny teenagers.

If you want it to be a lifestyle instead of a game you play, then all these silly rules, punishments, dice rolling, rewards for being a normal caring human male, etc. won't last.

Keep it simple and stupid.

 

You need to offer something up that she wants that you'd prefer not to give. This gives her buy-in and some simple control. Giving up porn, for instance, tends to please women. Nightly foot rubs, shower service (drying, attending to her) etc. She'll then come up with her rules once she sees your commitment.

 

If your partner is vanilla and not sure about any of this I think contracts and written lists might be counter productive. It could make it all seem even more strange and frightening.

 

Ok, if you are looking for ways to get a bit of excitement going I suggest silly games or wagers where the bet is for spanks or days in chastity or something.

e.g. play a game of strip poker.

If she is naked first, then you get out of your cage, and she is your slave. If you are naked first then you just won yourself an extra week in the cage.

e.g. play an endurance game. You get tied naked and there is a timer running with say 20 minutes on the clock. She can tease and stimulate you any way she wants. When you cum, every minute on the clock is another day in your cage.

Bets like this are fun, and mean you don't have to go through the hassle of keeping track of behaviour points

 

Is that the kind of thing you want to try?