Initial lock up time?

And then on your birthday the perfect gift: she makes you beg her to keep you locked until January first

 

Initial lock-up periods are a myth. Better is to increase time from lock-up to lock-up.

 

I think 3 months is necessary to allow you to fully accept chastity but it is important that your KH demands it and allows her to get used to not having PIV or playing with your cock. The cage should not come off during the 3 months except perhaps for cleaning (depending on the type of cage).
If she can start to love your pent up need for erections and orgasm, she will see the benefits of keeping you locked. She will also get used to you pleasuring her with your fingers and tongue, hopefully she will like you not making a mess and find your fingers and tongue more gentle and considerate.

 

I think whatever she wants is important first. When I'm locked up, I never know my end date. Weeks, months etc. Like any orgasms, it's up to her. I "might" know if I have a doctors appt, etc. Otherwise, it's solely up to her.

Looks like your wife is up to speed on how you feel and you know how she feels. Get it on and let the possible day it gets removed bounce around in your head like most of us.

As time goes on, your oral skills are going to get better and better for your wife!

Good luck.

 

I don't like long initial lock ups. Just go steady and work it out as you go along.

 

"If you meet Buddha on the road, kill him."

I'm going to be *that guy* and tell you to throw away the books, stop reading the web sites, and don't listen to any advice that you get here.

You and your wife have already been playing with this on and off. You've said that she is not comfortable with PIV, but that she enjoys sex in other ways. You have everything that you need to use your being locked to enhance your relationship. You pushed too much, and she needed to take a break; what you need to do now is to have a few discussions about this. Explain to her how being locked made you feel, how much you enjoyed it, and what was going on in your mind during those periods when you were denied. And then, ask her what she, herself, got out of it. It took the pressure off of her and she was able to enjoy sex more. But were there other things? Try to understand what she enjoys about this and about your relationship.

And then ask her what it would take to go back to trying it again.

Forget what you've read about long initial lockups changing your mindset and that nonsense. Instead, focus on what your wife gets out of it, and listen to her about how you both can enjoy it together.

 

Disagree if the “initial lock up” is done AFTER the initial fit time. OP stated that his cage is comfortable, and if he’s gone through the break in period, doing a set “initial lock up” period of 3mos plus establishes that solid baseline of control for the keyholder. Yes it’s tough, but that’s what we signed up for… sets up the notion of chastity is real when you start begging to get out. Plus this gives your body and mind time to wrap around the feeling of being locked up and the total control given to your keyholder - again if that’s your goal.

Agree everyone’s journey is different but if long term is the goal, this drives that home.

 

Just go with whatever your told. It’s not up to you.

 

I think that not knowing if ever the cage will come off works. I am now approaching 7 months and I am just getting more and more in love with being locked.

 

I think I've seen those same articles. Perhaps that works for some people, but I bet it would be a disaster for most couples, especially those just starting out with chastity. There's no "right" way to do this. You have to figure out what works for the two of you, so experiment with different things and see what works. If you're both curious about seeing how a 3 month lockup would feel, then go for it. But there are plenty of other options. It really depends on what your wife and you like the most about chastity.

For me, I love locking hubby back up after a little teasing. There's no way I'd want to give that up for three months! Three months without him having an orgasm? That's actually rather nice... though getting there was a more gradual process for us.

 

Things definitely change after long periods of abstinence, whether it's worth it for you is really something you'll only know afterwards.

I wrote about some of the magic of the claimed 90-120 days:
https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/90-120-days-of-denial-but-why.42665/

I included a link to this, which a lot of people, including me, thought was good advice.
https://happy-marriage.neocities.org/when

Which is based on these fantasy stories, one based on and rewritten on the other:
https://tpe.serve101.org/altarboy/nt080109.htm
https://tpe.serve101.org/altarboy/nt160107.htm

For reference, both fantasy stories can be found with a bunch of others:
https://tpe.serve101.org/altarboy/newstuff.php

My advice is treat everything you read on the internet as pure fantasy, and instead to just do your own thing.

Sure, a long continuous lock has an effect on you, and going without orgasms for a long period does too, but don't rely on it to transform you from the slob that you are into a perfect submissive man that now knows how to cook, clean, do nails, provide the perfect massage, or always take the trash out.

 

My partner and I have talked about the three months thing and she has said that is probably the longest she would ever lock me up/deny me.....so far 5 weeks is the longest and I was still allowed sex just not to orgasm....I could not have gone 5 weeks without sex, even if it was with her using her vixskin instead of me.

At the end of the 5 weeks I was prepared to go longer without orgasm, but it was not my choice, I certainly still craved the weekly sex despite me knowing I was probably not going to be allowed to cum, also originally I was meant to go for 4 weeks, I surprised myself that when I wasn't permitted to at 4 weeks I had no problem with it at all.

Last time it came up she said she would if I wanted her too, which is kinda not the point.

If it turned her on for me to sacrifice my orgasms for her then Id do my best to do the time and I am fairly certain I could, she does like me being locked but I don't think denying me orgasms is really her thing. So like others say everyone is different. But there is no way I would do it unless she actually wanted me too.

From my perspective, I am curious to see if orgasms are like an addition, if you were denied for 3 months, would you still crave them, would I be a better person for that addiction to be out of the intimacy equation.

 

3 months was a typo. It should be 3 years.

 

So did you ever go for the 90-120 day continuous locked and denied experiment?

 

I would like to differentiate between uninterrupted wear time and wear regime.
During rehab I learned that change of habits takes at least 60 days continuous work.
So I think that acceptance of having no more control over your cock takes that long or even longer.
I am so accustomed to wear a cage that I feel naked when there is it not on, even for short times like medical issues or if it inappropriate to wear it.

Just my two cents.

 

I can relate Actually my partner and I are about to embark on a 3 week trip to various parts of the world, one of the things that stresses me is that I most probably wont be wearing the cage for a lot of it, some of the places we will visit will have metal detectors let alone the airport, and it really seems stupid to wear it. She has told me I can wear it if I like, and when its "if I like" I feel like an idiot

That said, some of the places we are traveling too might be a bit hectic so at the same time I am relieved that I wont be wearing it....but really NOT looking forward to breaking myself back in when we get home. errrmmmm and apparently I can look forward to longer periods of denial when we get back, maybe not 3 months but 5 weeks(previous record) is over half way to 60 days...which would then be 2/3s of 90.

 

Yes, which is why I know it will have an impact, but I still don't want to worship feet or do any more chores than I did prior to doing the long lock

 

You haven't seen my partners feet

 

No disrespect meant, but that's like trying to convince a vegan with "But you haven't tasted the way I do steak".

 

I found out that wearing a locking cock ring instead of a cage during traveling it keeps the skin in training. And this is voluntary.
Every time I restart wearing a cage after an interruption it’s like feeling home.