Vanilla wife shared her fantasy

I will leave it up to you what you think you should do. But this is all about a matter of boundaries and not a matter of "taking turns".

Being locked was adding a toy to your own monogamous marriage. Adding another person to the mix is an entirely different matter. That may or may not cross a line with you, but she is comparing apples to watermelons.

 

A lot to digest there. As far as the pegging- Sounds like you just went full on nothing to dildo and experienced pain. First get yourself a humble dildo, as in not too big and one that feels natural like a vixin (sp?). Next start off with a lot of lube and either fingers or a small plug. After a few minutes go to a larger plug close to the size of the dildo. Once you are used to that then you can try the dildo. This may take a few times to get there, as in days- anal shouldn't be a 0-100 affair. Make it fun, have her begin your training etc. But understand having her play with your backside is 100% heterosexual. There is no more gay aspect to it than for a lesbian to use a dildo to satisfy.

Now on to the fantasy. You took it, well, poorly. She went way too fast with her buy a dildo to talking to a gay man. But what you should have done is slowed her down and said that may be a bridge you can't cross but how do you scratch your itch monogamously.

Sometimes a fantasy can remain one and still be fun. A better approach would be to tell her that you are ok to explore but you don't want to do the real thing and certainly don't want another partner in the relationship. So instead maybe she can play the role of the guy with a strap on and take it from there. In the end it is all about consent. If she is adamant she wants the real thing then there is something else serious going on that you need to figure out.

 

I was very reluctant about being taken by a real guy, however you need to try everything once. I'm hooked now on being taken by a guy and found out that I'm bisexuality something I never expected.

 

Not everyone needs to experience being taken up the ass by a real dick...

 

That's not what I said, I gave my experience and how it turned out for me.

 

I'm with you but if you can live with it and it'll make her happy maybe that is a Long hard think hope I don't have to make that decision ever

 

wow, as told by you, that’s a really fast progression

that said, my wife has tried basically everything i’ve ever asked her, so if she asked me to try something contrary to my norm, i would say (i think like someone already said) not no, but how do we get from here to there?

building bridges, not fences, in all aspects of life, has worked for me

 

Sounds more like your fantasy.

Maybe you ought to just come clean and tell her you want to be fucked by a guy. Get it over with.

 

First off your wife should accept that you do not want to try her sexual fantasy and if she loves you she would not pressure you to do it. Getting it from a guy is a big deal and something that most men would not do no matter how much they love their wives. If I left my wife everything she did not want to try a fetish of mine, I would not have lasted 50+ years married. My wife only had one fantasy and it was her with another girl. She picked another bisexual women we knew and loved and more importantly, wanted to have sex with me as well as my wife so all three were in agreement which is why we proceeded.

We all have sexual fantasies and most are not going to be acceptable to our spouses and not a reason to exact revenge or be distant when someone does not want to do it. Especially when it is a homosexual act. I have given and received with men, boys really since this happened in my teen years, and never did it once I got a girlfriend and might do it again under the right circumstances but it would me my choice and not my wife's. I cannot get my wife to do anything but lock me in chastity and deny me orgasms. I have dildos and butt plugs and three drawers of BDSM toys and she uses none of them. All she wants to do sexually is masturbate with her vibrator preferably when I am not with her. She is into girls, not guys and I am fine if she gets a girlfriend without my involved because that is not threatening and she is sexually attracted to women. However, she is not OK with me having sex with another woman without her which is not fair since she will not have sex with me so why can't I have sex with someone else???

You can see the difficulties when spouses have differing sexual fetish needs. It exists in most marriages but you need to accept that your spouse will not want to do all or any of your fetishes. Your wife should not expect you to do anything that you are not comfortable with. If she does it may be that your marriage has run its course and she is bored with sex and you. We compromised with Chastity play. That is our common ground. We never do anything that the other does not like sexually or otherwise and so we compromise and find a solution acceptable to both.

My wife's girlfriend is sexually dominant but not with us anymore. She wanted me to suck cock at her BDSM club like her bi or gay husband does. She never told us her husband's sexual preferences but hints here and there. I said no to blowing men and that was the end of it.

Last time I let a woman do something I did not want to do ended up with me requiring surgery for a ripped colon. Very painful and never again. Tell your wife to use a strap on and ask her why she wants a guy to do you. Most wives would never want that. Is she trying to humiliate you? Sounds like she is not that into you anymore and wants to humiliate you. Good luck.

 

There are very few things that if it excited my partner I wouldn’t at least try it. The fact it excited her would make it exciting to me.

I like it when my partner pegs me indeed I wish it happened more often. I have also wondered what I real one would feel like comparatively, but this is not something that is ever going to happen, because it doesn’t excite her.

Within the parameters that she stipulated it is not really a gay or even a bi act, while I am not homophobic I don’t really like seeing two men being intimate, I’ll look away, not the same with two women of course.

If I were you Id entertain the thought, but maybe wait for you to become more comfortable with pegging.

Also remember that women are a lot more cerebral when it comes to sex, maybe the thought of it excites her more than you actually doing it, that said she has gone so far as to line something up, again I have always found realistic fantasy a lot more exciting than stuff that can never happen

I think it’s great your wife’s libido is alive and well

Good luck

 

I have no suggestions as to what you might do or not. Yet, one thing I have learned since starting male chastity and FLR, is never say never. It is my experience and well reported by others here, your tastes and boundaries tend to change over time, often with surprising and enjoyable results.

Your observation about her letting herself be vulnerable discussing her fantasies is right on the mark. Perhaps rather than slamming the door, it would be useful to discuss boundaries. The results of that discussion may create a path to explore further while preserving initiative for both parties.

An apology and discussing a way forward could help a lot. Your relationship sounds like it is worth the effort.

 

I was just thinking that as well, never say never, the longer I go without an orgasm the more extreme my thoughts become and I could be coerced in a good way to do

Maybe she needs to keep you locked up longer lol

 

As I explained in a thread on this forum, fantasies are a journey not a destination

 

I would tell her: "I'm sorry that I reacted poorly upon hearing about your fantasy but I have boundaries and I need you to respect them. I appreciate that you were able to confide in me about this fantasy but it's not something I'm comfortable exploring and would prefer to keep our relationship monogamous."

On a personal note: I'm a never say never kind of guy but I just don't find other guys attractive? On one hand, nothing wrong with gay sex and for me theres something very hot about (the fantasy) of being pushed past my limits, but on the other hand, the bigger issue is inviting a 3rd into the bedroom. There's a lot of reasons why that can be unexpectedly difficult for a relationship and any serious considering would require a very long multi-part conversation with my partner.

 

to be fair, she didn't just say 'this is a fanstasy of mine' - she'd already approached someone else about it without your knowledge. so it's not just you who should be apologising.

 

When you do it can you describe what it was like . If you don’t mind .

 

you literally said “however you need to try everything once”