Training a man to have fewer orgasms

Fulfilment of a complete orgasm… I don’t know why you have taken offence to this

 

I can't imagine why you might think I have taken offence to your comment

 

No, I’m really not getting it. It was a question posed at the start of my journey into 24/7 chastity. There was no judgment.
The term fulfilment was only with regards to having any sort of release. Not a comment on how much we enjoy chastity…

 

I totally understand you Jennifer, but what I was wondering while reading: as a woman, don't you feel the need to do PIV? Don't you miss that?

 

I don't miss PIV, at least not with hubby, I have several dildos, a sybian and another sex machine, these are much better than hubbies cock

 

Very insightful on replacing real orgasms with ruined to avoid the energy drops

 

I initially typed a bunch of things that would have likely gotten me suspended or banned from this site so after thinking it over , I correctly erased it all .

So, I want to ask:

No orgasms OF ANY KIND, EVER? First of all , why? I am willing to try and honestly understand the depths of insanity that one wishes to reach in order to endure or enforce that sort of goal.

not even ruined orgasms? They aren’t satisfying but they do release some pressure. No subdrop. I don’t understand .

also, please explain how love could possibly be involved . I want to try to understand.

it sounds or feels obvious that love and partnership does not equal such a ridiculous imbalance in one of the most transcendent feelings and abilities our bodies are given access to . Apparently that is not the case and I want to know why.

I know the whole tease and denial schtick well, that part is distinctly NOT lost on me , but not making them find other , potentially more humiliating ways to cum is off the table too? Also, Why are they resigned to their fate? I would immediately leave and cease all contact forever if I were a submissive under that sort of directive lol and I won’t say what else I would do. hint: it would not be kind.

if someone wants to DM me and explain it , please do because I really don’t wanna fly off the handles and start berating people like the ignorant slut that I am sometimes.

 

In my enthusiasm to at her invitation request she, that is now my Lady, to become my Keyholder we overlooked or at least I did establishing some ground rules parameters limits etc Our only rules being what she says goes and if I ever ask to be let out or to have an orgasm or erection she will return my keys and end of game.

No orgasm or release frequency was ever discussed other than I may have neither without permission. Almost 6 years on for no orgasms and 5 for no erections. Its very easy my Lady does not want me to have either so I don't

Leakage we both accept does happen and is necessary as my only outlet but it is still frowned upon and accordingly not something I would attempt to induce.

Do I feel I would regret being unlocked and no longer in a relationship more than I would enjoy being able to have orgasms and erections is not a question I find myself asking very often. Obviously I would rather be kept locked and denied by my Lady

So all in all in answer to the OPs question... yes we find it easy.

The benefits are that I remain locked and denied by someone that wants to keep me locked and denied for her pleasure

Problems... as far as we are concerned the only problem is one of practicality and common sense... we both feel we would enjoy the cage being permanently locked which is not going to happen

 

@Miss Bella please Miss. i think that the men that am saying all the thingys bout not love and things are prob men that see Ladys only a bit and dont live with them and praps they go and pay Ladys and only see them a little bit and then they are not love. anyways if they do live like what they have sayed i wud run away and go somewhere else. special if i had them horrid spiky things on me.

 

For a modern take on it see this book: https://www.amazon.com/Cupids-Poisoned-Arrow-Harmony-Relationships/dp/1556438095

You'll find lots of videos and interviews with ther author on YT.

There are many reasons people choose to reduce or stop orgasming.

if you don't have orgasm as the end goal then lots of things change in your love making, and everything you do can become part of your foreplay.

My GF and I both have reduced our orgasms (she enforces mine through our chastity games, and she enjoys her orgasm denial) such that we have both only had one this year, and that was my first full orgasm since April last year.

From a Tao perspective us men should reduce our ejaculations (but can still orgasm if we can figure out how) as we age, going down to zero in our 60s - they see it as a waste of vital energy.

Karezza and Trantra engourage less/zero orgasms with the focus being on remaining in the cool intimate sexual state rather than the hot losing your mind state.

From my perspective; It's very difficult to have zero ejaculations or orgasms at first, especially when we are also having plenty of sex and intimacy, but after a few months something definitely changes and I think it is worth it.

While my orgasms have grown more specatular as I have aged (I am mid 50s) nothing compares to the feeling associated with abstaining from orgasm for a few months.

It will definitely drive you to do things you might have been putting off, and you will feel like you have much more energy. It's not magic, it's just you get so frustrated with being so damn horny that you simply MUST wear yourself out

 

I think people want the man to be sexually frustrated and horny while denied. That's basic chastity play. But if you really want an answer to your question, it involves wrecking the health of the man. Which is an extreme aspect of this basic BDSM/femdom/male chastity world. I definitely won't advocate that nor give any other information about it. There's a guy on this forum who is pursuing what you say, he wants his dick to be useless.

Truthfully, the quickest way would be to reduce testosterone and nutrition. Under extreme stress both males and females have sexual issues. Women in their fertile years can stop having periods if they're not eating. This is common with anorexia etc. Males, similarly, will have their body focus resources away from their reproduction if they're under extreme stress, exhaustion, and lack of nutrition (think military training or war zones).

But I get that what you and most people actually want is to find a way to get the man to enjoy having less orgasms. Basically, a keyholder and sexual play. This makes the wait during the denial period "worth it" when they finally get to cum. Absent that, wrecking the man's health and body such that he isn't horny would be the way.

 

Oh really, do you care to share your evidence of that claim?

 

Literally any medical journal, research paper, med school, doctor in the world. Literally.
https://www.mdpi.com/journal/medsci/special_issues/men_sexual_health
In medicine there is normal function and dysfunction. "Training" a man to have a useless penis would fall under dysfunction, both psychological and physical at that point if he willingly went along with it. There's also probable crimes involved and some people in the U.K. have gone to prison for their castration services.

 

I've tried the no release approach before

After 3 months of nothing but milking I lost all emotional attachment and let the relationship fall apart because I felt I really wasn't a part of it anymore

Some may enjoy feeling like a pet, but if I feel like I have a partner who doesn't care at all if I'm happy or not, before long I'm leaving

If there's nothing to look forward to, I've found I'll be distancing myself and looking for fun elsewhere

 

You may as well have linked to google.

Also, why did you mention castration?

 

That sounds awful. I recently experienced 91 days without ejaculating (and no milking either) and I felt the exact opposite of what you felt; I was focused, full of energy, desperately in love and attracted to my GF. I didn't want it to end and I regret having an orgasm.

 

"Training a man to have fewer orgasms"
It's related. As in everything there are people on both extremes. You've got some guy self caging himself for fun now and then, couples playing around, and on the other end of the spectrum you have actual castration fetishists, people injecting chemicals into men's testicles to harm them, etc. And everything inbetween.

 

It’s definitely interesting to read comments from almost a year ago and see how much has changed. Seeing some comments from others who post often on CM also is pretty great. It seems once the KH takes a serious interest, the deep dive really begins.
Less than a year ago I still was allowed plenty of piv orgasms per month, and now my wonderful Wife uses my tongue almost every night and has dropped piv down to a few times per month, orgasms to a few ruins and a full O from her hand once or twice per month. She has somehow trained me to be able to still give her piv for plenty of time without an accident, and yet I’m constantly on edge if she touches my cage or strokes her property at all.

 

I find this kind of hot and kind of scary at the same time. I'm having mixed feelings about the whole thing. Well, be careful what you ask for as they say. I'm horny and I think my wife is using male chastity as a way to simply keep my penis out of her orifices haha. I guess I'm okay with this. I guess.

 

Don't knock it until you try it.

 

I have tried "it". I like "it". "It" being my wife's pussy . Damn, I'm back at being in chastity. Like really bad.

 

Yeah, my last year has been all over the place. I went from regularly (but not always) locked, to regularly (but not always) unlocked, and now to always locked. We've been working on figuring out what works best for us, and I think the conclusions from the tests are in. (And so am I.)

The thing that tipped the scale was my frustration that would creep back in to the relationship before I managed to make it back to sub space. With the cage going on immediately after an orgasm, we have found (like with a ring through the nose of a bull) that I can't veer off into frustration. Pretty sure this is how it's going to be forever. And no regrets -- I have learned to appreciate being led like a bull with a ring through my nose.

 

just cos you dont have all mess come out of you no more dont mean that you dont have fun. theres lots of ways to have fun.

 

If having fewer orgasms is connected to castration in your mind then I am sorry for you. It sounds like a horrible fantasy.

There are spiritual and loving practices that reduce or end ejaculations, and they have nothing to do with mutilating or causing pain or discomfort.

Taoism, for example, do it so practioners lead a longer more fulfilled life.

When you take orgasm off the table you'll find sex to be much more about intimacy and love, rather than merely the friction of rubbing genitals together to see who completes first.

 

I never really thought of it as "training". For us it's been a journey of many steps. I don't think we could have jumped right into the deep end.

We started with orgasm denial - just hours or a day at first, then a few days, and gradually settling on something like a weekly orgasm. There was no grand plan. We just tried a few things and stuck with what worked the best. We stuck with (and enjoyed) that weekly routine for years.

Last year, we added chastity and that weekly orgasm became monthly. Again, I wasn't trying to "train" hubby. He wanted me to lock him up, and I was happy to give it a try. It seemed like the post orgasm "drop" was a problem, and I tried longer and longer stretches between orgasms. Monthly turned out to be a good balance for us.

Ruined orgasms were another big step. Nowadays I let him have a ruined orgasm every couple weeks or so. But he'll have to wait months for a full orgasm.