Training a man to have fewer orgasms

Make you appreciate your partner more and the orgasm is intense after a few weeks/months. Might be done leakage in the night after a month but then my mistress makes me aware she isn’t happy and I have to clean and change the bedding.

 

Just ease him into it. Start with a day or two and gradually build up to a duration that works for both people. When my wife locks me up it’s usually only for a week at a time. The benefits for us are that I pay more way more attention to my wife and I don’t stay up every night watching porn. So I usually get more sleep which is nice because I’m an insomniac.

 

it easy and its cos your willy is locked up in a little cage and you cant get it off cos the key is not there.

 

Fascinating topic & good questions! I would say it is not a "one size fits all" sort of thing. Everyone is different.

Benefits? One benefit is the avoidance of the post-orgasm hormonal-driven energy drop. I found this to be stronger and more unsettling as I got older. I've come to value the high energy plateau of desire and to maintain that, focusing on my keyholder Mistress. Yes, the burst of pleasure with an orgasm is great, but it is so transient. That's my experience, anyway. Also, the inner yogas & esoteric teachings of some spiritual traditions (Taoist, Hindu & Buddhist Tantras) hold that retaining semen and redirecting the energy inward is important for iife-essence (and other things), but that is a long, complicated topic.

Problems? It can be quite the emotional & psychological roller-coaster. Medically, there are different opinions, but my urologist said there is no physical problem with infrequent orgasms. The body will reabsorb the semen & seminal fluid it produces, and if there is an excess, it will emit it (wet dream, spontaneous ooze, etc.

How is it done? Again, not a one size fits all. I can relate my own experience, and I would say it is probably a pretty good template. I think it is very important to have a strong connection with the other person in the equation (if there is one). Also, a good chastity device is extremely helpful.

I might go so far as to say that I have been weaned from orgasms. I haven't had a full release in 5 1/2 years or a ruined release in 9 months.

My experience with Mistress:
1. I was allowed to release only with permission from Mistress.
2. Mistress gradually reduced the number of orgasms I was allowed.
3. Real orgasms were gradually phased out and replaced with ruined orgasms.
4. Mistress required the full-time use of a chastity device. (Before this, it was not constantly used.) So Mistress then had not only full control of any orgasms or ruins, but also erections. Ruined releases became less frequent.
5. Finally, even the ruin privileges were withdrawn. Weaned!

Granted, these steps end with no orgasms rather than fewer, but Steps 1-4 could be a goal instead.

One's mileage may vary. This is a simple overview of my experience. It was not a linear progression. There were setbacks, back-and-forths, suspension of the program even, but I always returned and little by little, the goal was achieved. (At least, I think this is what Mistress wants.) LOL. BTW, this process covered a 15+ year period. Mistress was quite patient, but persistent. I am sure it also helps that I am now in my late 60s, rather than my early 50s when this started. And younger, that would have been tough but doable, I would say.

Sorry for all the verbiage.

Good luck & have fun!

 

A chastity device wil do d trick.. provided theres a kh/ a remote location where key is kept/ self discipline for d male in self locking.. a man with unrestricted aces to his dick can reach orgasm in 2mins techicaly.. ok not tat women r impresed with tis.. once d aces to d dick is put away ‘forcibly’.. he wil hv les porny tots, more energy to perform on bed whenever required or chores ard d house.. d male is so familiar with suden passive demeanour after orgasm.. lack of energy, enthusiasm n so on.. sory.. but coming frm me who has indulged in daily masturbation since 11yo.. i think male chastity shd part of sex edu..

 

@Yearning1: I think this is directed at me?

It is hard for me to say with certainty, as Mistress has not said so in as many words. But considering that the last real orgasm she allowed me was December 2016, I am thinking I won't ever have another. But I have also learned not to 2nd guess her decisions, so it is not inconceivable that one might be allowed at some point. But I am not counting on it. I think she really likes the power she has and likes keeping me denied.

She has even hinted that she might not let me even have a ruined release again. She's made it clear that that is her preference.

If this becomes unbearable, I could always leave our arrangement. I did that once but that didn't make me happy. I realized that I like (need?) her authority in this matter.

 

We're not into D/s or FLR or sissy or cuckolding, we are just having a lot of fun. There is no her-training-me going on.

I have been practicing Taoist techniques for semen retention for a few years, with great success. The longest I have gone without a full orgasm is around 7 months, and there was plenty of sex involved!

A combination of focus, awareness, tensing and breathing is needed.

It takes a lot of practice, and a lot of mindfulness.

Something changes when your orgasms are totally off the table, and I have found that accepting that really helped me.

It makes many hours of slow, gentle, highly intimate tantric-style sex not only possible but delightful.

This is a good starter book IMO: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1471136507/

 

Jemima you always find a way to make it sound so simple, I love that

 

i guess we r al going twds to rite direction.. leser or eliminated orgasm for us while puting the female partners pleasure above al.. im prety interested in d above sugestion of semen retention during intercorse.. empowering d female to climax w/o d male ejaculating .. and retreat gentlemenly once shes done.. tis is d height of service above self .. i wish i could perform tat in my earlier years of chastity.. whereby now erection is no longer permited.. i hvnt been sucesful in avoiding ejaculation during intimacy.. either i take too long with weak erection or too fast done ending with me eating bk my mess again.. i wish more women here take charge n start imposing onto their males..

 

There isn't one size fits for all solution here. I would say that work towards your mutual "goal" together. You can approach it from multiple angles, it can be driven by the Female, who dictates all the sexual acts or it can be a common nice thing, you do together.

I can tell only my perspective, but as stated above, I think that the clear benefit for the Keyholder is that the locked up one will focus his energy towards Her. The transition can start as a selfish way "I do that to please Her, maybe she'll "reward" me in the end" kind of situation. She gets more attention, pampering, the focus is on Her. Gradually it could evolve so that the mindset for the husband moves to be more submissive and he becomes more thoughtful throughout the locked up period.

Drawbacks are also that when the post-orgasm "crash" happens, it takes a bit of time to regain the same "momentum" what was prior the release. Ruined orgasms are good way to prevent this.

It comes also on the personality, some are more submissive and docile from start, some might require a bit more "training".

Depending of the "play style" you want to live, it can/could be a cruelsome, possibly not sexual, frustrating, agonizing. If it's along the lines "lock it up, forget the sub". That's not very nice situation to be, as an locked up person. That's not my cup of tea and it has not worked well.

For us when we played with my wife, it was a common thing, which I introduced and She learned to enjoy. It took us years to find a way, when we both were happy.

For me, the lockup periods are sexual, depending how the play and releases are handled. Those can be very arousing, teasing and lustful, without a release. In one hand you want to have that orgasm so badly but in other hand, you don't want that mist of lust to clear.

When you reach the phase that you want just to give your best for your wife, without expectation of release it will benefit Her. She is pampered, She is served sexually, She is satisfied. You in other hand can feel aroused or maybe a bit frustrated.. but you'll have that 'chastity high' on you, the burning need and arousal down there, while you serve Her, locked up.. knowing that it will not be satisfied today, it will continue as is, also tomorrow.

I think that is the fuel; the double ended sword, what keeps the subs wanting more and that is the fuel what gives the best benefits for the Keyholders.

 

I would say it was less "encouragement" in the normal sense of the word, and more "this is what you will do for me" and/or "this is what I want."

The first step in the process, as indicated above, was that she took control of when, how & if I could orgasm. An orgasm became a reward. Of course, it was important that I agreed with this, and I did. I could see that there were other rewards besides orgasms in allowing her this control. I say "allowing her this control" because ultimately, this is my choice, too.

A fundamental aspect of our dynamic & relationship is Power Exchange & D/s (Dominance/submission). It started from that and while it still includes that, a strong personal bond developed between us as well. I became quite devoted to her, and I think she appreciates that. Her pleasure with my obedience & displeasure with my disobedience became driving factors for me. So, that became her "encouragement," if you will.

I might add that during my weaning process (and I didn't know that's where this was headed), there was a certain amount of behavioral & attitude conditioning that was possible because of my devotion. Among other things, this changed my thoughts on orgasms. That in turn aided the reduction of orgasm frequency and made weaning possible.

I don't think the D/s aspect is necessary for training a man to have fewer orgasms, but his commitment to his partner is, imo. So, I still think the 5 points I outlined above could apply to most anyone, given the necessary commitment or devotion. And one could set any of those 5 steps as a goal, suiting one's, or one's partner's, needs or desires.

 

My Wife still likes to give me a few days to maybe a week of freedom from the cage and orgasms in that time. But she’s cut me down from about 40 orgasms a month for most of our first 28 years together, to about an average of 10 per month the last couple years since finding cock cages and reading about Male Chastity.
She loves the extra attention and servitude, and I’ve found that I’m much happier, energetic and have grown addicted to being focused on her instead of my penis. It’s taken a while to fully swap roles of dominance in our sex life, I’d say we’re in a mild Wife Led Marriage but mostly just the sexual aspects. We do use spanking and pegging to help keep me submissive, but aren’t into sissy stuff or cuckholding etc.
I recently broke my record for no orgasms, 33 days from Feb into March and it was amazing. She’s granted a couple stints of freedom since then, but it’s becoming more obvious to both of us that it needs to become more rare. I’m hoping she’ll experiment with ruined orgasms for me more and see how that goes. I honestly think I’d be ok with something like 2-3 orgasms a month.

 

I started to "train" myself to go longer and longer in between orgasm. Started with 3 days .... omg, that was actually difficult. I increased the time - in the beginning just a day extra most often. Sometimes I took a break from it and orgasmed every day, then increased again. The most difficult period for me was around 7-14 days. After about 14 days I started to find out how great the "high sexual energy" feeling is, and I could easily increase the time way faster. It can still be hard mentally when I reach my last limit because I start questioning myself if I can do it and so on. But way easier now. My longest so far is 110 days and I could have gone longer.
Some people may never get used to it. For me it was ok. I guess my curious on both the tantric and D/s aspects have helped me and that I love to challenge myself. Now I love it and would like as few orgasm a year as possible.

 

THAT.

Once you break through that hormonal barrier it changes everything. You stop getting the urge to orgasm, and even start dreading having one; The constant 'happy feeling is so much better than the momentary high and drop of an orgasm.
It can take a week or a month to reach that hormonal balance, but as you say, once you've done that, instead of getting harder it gets easier.

"How is it done?"
Simply don't allow the man to have any orgasms!
It can be difficult, if not only because of the physical inconveniences of wearing a device. Making sure you have a comfortable fit is crucial.
To ease through the emotional and mental changes, it's usually done by ever increasing lockup times, until you get to the stage when you just don't have a lockup period, your default is to be locked up. A popular way is to double each lockup period, or simply aim for each period to be longer than the previous one, either way you can make good progress towards your goal.

 

Once u hv embarked on it.. n start to log in a certain number of days/weeks w/o orgasm.. u wil feel its a loss if an ejaculation has hapened .. n u hv to start al over again… it feels good to b able to maintain n keep exceeding d record..

 

For me it feels like a total natural way and development after starting with male chastity with hubby (and the recommendations of my best friend who was already in the lifestyle with her hubby helped a lot).
We did not started with a long initial lockup period in the beginning like recommended in some forums. We started with some hours, a day, a day and a night, a full weekend, a week, a month and more. For me it feels total natural. After two years it was 24/7 permanent with very seldom releases (no full ejaculations anymore) for hubby. Also the development from less to no bj, less to no hf, seldom intercourse to pussyfree, full to ruined orgasms only, feels total natural. In the beginning we discussed the agreements and next steps but now I'm the only one who has the say. Sexuality in our marriage is mainly female sexuality only. I could not imagine to start let's say with a once a week release schedule and go on with this approach for years.

 

I forget to mention that part of the natural development is also to use smaller cages every 6 to 12 months until more smaller is not possible (currently I use the HT nano and more and more often the HT nub for hubby - we started with much larger ones)

 

I can vouch for that.
I started with a Curve, and every successive cage has been a centimeter or two shorter.
I've just ordered this one, so I can only assume that the next future one will be inverted!

 

My Wife and I have dabbled in chastity pay now and then and will begin training me much like @Jennifer did cage wise.
I'm a ready PIV free for the last two plus years, and instead of begging to orgasm, it seems as though I'm wired to beg only for ruined. I don't want the crash nor does She.

Had some Heath issues and drip in testosterone levels, and in my 50s I'm not waking around hard when the wind blows like I did many years ago ha. That said, the transition of me masturbating either with my hand or Estim one day stopped even when not caged as I didn't want to orgasm.
Even when She allowed for non supervised masturbation, I actually made sure to ruin it.

@Jennifer took an excellent approach. It happens over time. Once the subconscious and conscious male mind is wired right regarding no orgasms, it will become very easy for the male to almost plead NOT to orgasm.

 

So interesting, We are on the same journey

 

great advice!!