Mental Stages of Chastity

That seems to reflect a lot of men's experience!

I'm perhaps on the other track. It goes like this:

1. Instant acceptance and comfort with the feelings.
2. During erotic activity: mingled thrill and desperation, then a return to #1.
3. On final release, Abandonment.

I was like this right from the start.

• Thrill and fear of the Abandonment phase outweigh any possible resentment.
• Any fleeting resentment triggers a powerful thrill

 

I think that's a pretty accurate summary of the stages. As time passes I have found in the past that those stages can come and go in no particular order like waves passing through the body and mind, even after peaceful acceptance! The intensity will vary a lot over time without any particular pattern. It's the essence of what I think we refer to as a "journey"

 

I feel like you should combine steps 2 and 3 into a category called angst. I personally don't feel desperate, but after the initial thrill of a lock up wears off, I generally have thoughts along the lines of "Why the hell did I do this?" or "Why did I think this was hot?".

I've previously expressed that each lockup has an arc and attached a rough timeline. It goes something like:
Days 1-2: Thrill
Days 2-7: Angst
After that: Acceptance

Obviously, people stay different amounts of time in each stage and once you've hit "acceptance", you don't just automatically stay there forever without ever experiencing any turbulence.

 

Well I can say my chaste is at stages 2 and 3. I can't wait till he hits stage 4 that will make things a lot easier. Hopefully he will get to stages 5 and 6 I can say mission completed.

 

I really like how You use the word or coin the word “encagement”
Also how You even go on to show us the proper use of the word!
Thank You

Also it’s a great post

 

If you ever think your mission is complete, he's justifiably going to go back to the resentment stage.

 

“The thrill is gone”, well if it’s not gone it is certainly mostly memory now.

1. Step one is usually the hardest, it’s relocking after an orgasm. No frustration or sexual overtones to make the cage even necessary, so for the most part...I don’t wanna. She can speed up my headspace by ordering me to lock up, or use some verbal dominance, but for the most part, putting on the cage is not something I’m looking forward to or feel is needed.

2. If she hasn’t told me to put it on in a few days, I will put it on myself. At this point it does serve a purpose. I am starting to feel the restlessness of being chaste and would rather have the barrier there to protect me from me. If I had already locked up, I’m starting to feel the growing sense of need and denial/frustration.

3. Time. This is what cycles for me. Periods of unbelievable desire and desperation to utter normalcy and acceptance. This keeps cycling throughout the day, every day. This includes acts of the sexual nature being performed. When the acts are over and it is clear I will not be getting out, I calm down with her orgasm and the urgency subsides. This also includes looking at interesting things on the internet, sending things back and forth to her, flirting, etc. Zero to 60, and back to zero in no time flat.

4. At length is where I get a bit “odd”. Kinky things, seem to be front and center. Little things get me going, scents, sights, brushes against me, words, and my fantasies revolve around things that I would do for her and not necessarily be about me anymore. Worshiping parts of her, following routines, accepting a role of service etc. this long term stuff is the pinnacle, it’s at this point I’m usually willing to beg just for an erection, orgasms are so far out of my wishful thinking that I don’t even bother fantasizing about them.

5. The fall. Orgasm complete, I have no desire to fulfill any of my previous obligations or routines, I don’t feel the cage is really necessary (again), and I am a bit disappointed that I have to start over. She knows a few things that shorten this period, verbal stuff, clean up after, immediate lock up, heavy teasing and then lock up. Sometimes she does these things, sometimes she doesn’t.

Repeat

 

me
1....2...3...4...5 minute....damn i cant wank..
oke acceptance....

 

After a period of "encagement" I assume you could have "wedLOCK" which as we know is "til death do us part"! Well it's meant to be! I have a distinct feeling that my chastity comes under the latter of the two categories! In fact according to Mrs Chaste that's definitely the case!

 

We use a combination of enforcement and the honor system so our paradigm is more a way of life rather than true domination. Anytime I want to stop I can, but as wife explained stopping will not be temporary but permanent. However, I do still go thru stages even when I am at work and not wearing a cage, I abide by our rules of behavior. I will start with those nights of PIV, by the time we are finished, I am so exhausted I fall asleep. When I wake up, I reach over to where my wife has placed the cage and start putting it back on and she will snap the lock back on and the key back into the counter safe. The next two days I actually struggle a little, more at night and then on the third or forth day accept my status. When we start our weekly Keyholder Pleasing Sessions, I resent the fact she will have all the enjoyment and leave me with a puddle to clean up after my milking. T&D sessions are quite different, most times it just cuddling and others she will get off and I am so proud that I made her happy. On the days of release, I get fearful something may stop us from me getting a release and actually would prefer if the cage was not removed at all.

 

That's a pretty accurate summary. I find that now the 'resentment' stage no longer really occurs, or if it does, it's over with very quickly! I pretty much just accept my fate now!

 

I am now on day 17. I have been allowed out of the cage once for shaving. Hygiene is not a problem - it is a 3 open ringed Metal variety - as seen on my album - so one can shower with it on.
I guess I am still at the ‘Thrill’ stage!
(Although presently I do feel a sense of Acceptance also. Having been in The Curve (on and off and NOT serious business) many years ago, I do understand the points you make although, I don’t as yet feel anything remotely desperate about the situation. Even after my wife and I agreed that my cage should be kept on indefinately! Normal daily routines and feeling the cage and ring grasping my bits feel perfectly normal now... and I feel I would miss that feeling if I had to stop wearing it!

I will keep my Blog/Journal here updated regularly and will let you know if and when Desperation and Resentment kick in!

 

I think this is an excellent outline...…..all these things will need to occur at some point (at least for the first locking).

 

I do remember those thrilling days of going to work caged, and all I could think about is that I couldn’t get it off even if I wanted to, I can’t even get hard, this is really happening, I didn’t even have a choice right now I gave that away, I wonder what people would think if they knew I was wearing a steel cage on my cock, etc etc.

I think it was around the year and a half mark or so, that I stopped thinking about it all the time, and for the most part became more her fantasy more than mine. In all actuality I had thought chastity was going to be more of a fore play activity, maybe a week in week out kinda deal. I love where we are at, but I’m not sure if past me would have agreed with present me’s circumstances lol!

 

Lol!!!
And no.... that ain’t gonna happen!

 

It doesn’t have to be denial...when I first got the cage, she unlocked me every night, we had sex every night, and even the times I didn’t get to finish...she sure did. It’s whatever you want to make it. Don’t let any ones preconceived notions dictate you two...that would be the exact opposite of what trips my trigger with us.

 

The great thing is that you're going to be the one with the key. Just because you can do long term doesn't mean you have to if it doesn't appeal to you. Personally, I'm a little confused be people who think chastity isn't 'real' if it isn't long term. Being locked and under someone's control is being locked and under someone's control whether it's for ten minutes or ten months. Being let out for sex once a day or once a month still means someone else is controlling you when you're in and when you're out. Sometimes I think the 'time locked' (and more is better philosophy) should be considered a sub-fetish to the chastity fetish instead of the degree by which it's measured. I think it's a bit like corporal punishment where some subs don't consider it a real beating if there's no blood, but some tops consider it a sign of professionalism if they can make a sub scream without leaving a mark.