My Hands Free Journal

Mistress took me out of the cage and put in a 6 gage p.a. and told me to take a shower. When I had finished she had me put in, (with considerable effort because my hole had shrunk), the larger 4 gage. When she saw the result of having the hot shower and my repeated attempts to push the large ring out of the small p.a. hole, she laughed out loud and said "Shrinking Miss Daisy. When I told her the larger ring was uncomfortable, she said that I wouldn't have that problem if I had a man-sized cock and that I had to live with the ring for the rest of the day. Mistress had me take photos of the rings and my shrunken dick to share here. She said the photos might give someone a laugh.

 

(Saturday) Mistress told me that she had been talking to Robert, who suggested that in all fairness she should find a lover to make her happy. Mistress asked if being with Robert made me happy. I had to admit that I enjoyed being with Robert. Mistress then told me that Robert said he could introduce her to a friend of his to see if they are compatible. She said she would like me to be there to help her make a decision. This was something I didn't see coming. I asked Mistress what she knew about him. She said he was about 45 yrs old, tall, in good shape, and to quote Robert, "hung like a stallion." I will refer to him as "Silver", after the Lone Ranger's horse. Anyway, I told her that if it was something she wanted to try I wasn't in a position to complain about it. Mistress said we should meet with Silver over dinner, feel each other out, and then either proceed or not. Mistress said that I should think about it. As if I had to be told! I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, and not with eager anticipation. This would make me officially a cuckold. I don't think I was cuckolding Mistress being with Robert as she almost demanded we become lovers. I had never seen Mistress being romantic with another man, much less sexual. I was aware that we were approaching another major turning point, one I had never thought I would have to deal with. She told me to come to bed to make love to her the way I was allowed. I wondered if this restriction would be extended to Silver. Wile I was licking Mistress my cock was straining to get hard, and of course, failing miserably. Writing about this, I am again trying to get hard. I think my subconscious is trying to tell me something. I no longer delude myself that she could be messing with me. I have no doubt that she is serious about this.
Is this my future? :

 

Yesterday, Mistress and I talked about her taking a lover (bull) and what adjustments we would have to make. The following is a list of what we came up with, in no particular order. Subject to revision.
01. We would proceed if I couldn't voice a valid objection after having met him.
02. I am submissive only to Mistress. Bull would show me respect as Mistress' husband.
03. Bull would wear protection. Hard rule.
04. Initially Mistress would not sleep over so as to set boundaries.
05. When having sex at home, my participation would be by mutual consent of Mistress and bull. Otherwise I might be ordered by Mistress to watch but not participate. My cage would not be removed.
06. Bull could sleep over if it pleased Mistress. If he did sleep over, I would sleep wherever Mistress ordered.
07. Mistress and bull may have a romantic as well as a sexual relationship, if Mistress desired it.
08. I was not permitted to complain about our arrangement. That has not changed.

 

Today Mistress and I met Silver at Robert's place over a light dinner. My impression of him is handsome, well dressed, intelligent, and confident but not arrogant. In short, a very likable man. Mistress was quite taken with him. After the meal Robert suggested we should go into the bedroom while he washed the dishes. Mistress had me strip first. She told Silver that I would be in the cage the whole time. She told him the cage prevented me from getting erections, kept my cock small. Silver asked me some questions about the cage such as did it hurt, how long had I worn it, etc. After I had answered these, Mistress undressed, with appreciative comments from Silver. Then it was Silver's turn. He lived up to Robert's description. He obviously worked out, but not to excess. When he pulled down his trousers I saw Mistress' mouth drop open. She reached out, asked, "May I," and having gotten a nod from Silver, ran her fingers along his length. Soon Mistress had me ask Robert if we could use the bedroom for a while. He said he figured Mistress and Silver had hit it off. Mistress told me to stand next to the bed as they laid down. Mistress made certain that I had an unobstructed view of her enthusiastically sucking on his cock, something she refused to do with me. They switched positions with Silver reciprocating, and after a while he moved up and entered her. I felt an emptiness when I saw her satisfied expression as she let out an involuntary squeak. It had been many years since I had heard that noise. They went through the usual positions, with Mistress occasionally reaching out to hold my hand. My cock tried to get hard in the cage, with the usual frustrated results. While they had sex Mistress told me how good Silver felt inside her, how he filled her up. And then she told me that he was so much bigger than me, had a real man's cock. This from the woman who had told me she didn't want to be penetrated again. I was confused. I now understood that I was pathetic, a cuckold. After they had finished, Mistress had me stroke Silver's cock while she watched. I was surprised at the heft of it, bigger than Robert's, more substantial. This was the cock Mistress craved, not mine. Later we rejoined Robert in the dining room. Mistress thanked him for a very nice afternoon. Pleasantries were exchanged. Mistress then told me to wash the sheets for Robert, further reminding me of my place. She drove home. Robert knew there was no point in telling me to let him do the laundry. Instead he gave me a quick kiss and let me get on with it. When I got home, Mistress had me come to bed to lick her to orgasm. Then she took her strap-on from the night table. She said, "You realize I'm making a point" as she began to enter me.
Everything about Silver, his youth, his physique, the size of his cock intimidates me, makes me feel inferior. I guess I will have to get used to those feelings.

 

Thursday
I received the attached photo Mistress had downloaded. She said it reminded her of "us" and that she looked forward to doing it for real. She said that I should be happy, it meant that I would be let out of the cage, if only for a "very little while.

 

FRIDAY
Mid morning:
Mistress has been pleased with her decision to take Silver as her bull, calling him a greek god. She told me that she had been hard on me to keep me in my place. She then told me I "behaved beautifully", that she was proud of me. I thanked her, glad she was pleased.
Mistress told me that Silver is coming over this evening and will be spending the night. I am to prepare and serve a nice dessert for them, wearing just my cage and an apron.
Later:
After Mistress and Silver had their dessert (scratch baked angel food cake topped with berries and home made whipped cream) we retired to the bed room. Mistress let me out of my cage for what she called a hand to hand comparison. With Silver's cock in one hand and mine in the other, Mistress had us stand next to each other. Silver's cock dwarfed mine. Mistress gave us each a few strokes and measured our cocks on a ruler. Mistress looked at mine and said, "four inches". Then she measured Silver and in a pleased voice said, nine inches, we have a winner." Having made her point, Mistress put me back in the cage and locked it while Silver watched. I was told to wash the dishes and then bring in wine for them. That done, Mistress told me to sit across the room, facing the bed in silence while they resumed their fun. Later, when they were taking a break, Mistress sent me to the guest bedroom for the night. I fell asleep to the sound of their lovemaking.
SATURDAY
Mistress had me make breakfast and then allowed me to eat with them. After a while Mistress and Silver went back to the bedroom and had sex behind closed doors. After he left, Mistress had me put the sheets and pillow cases in the wash and then do the dishes. I expected Mistress to fuck me with her cock, but instead she took her time teasing me by fondling my balls and even licking my cage, keeping me on edge. This has become a favorite pastime for her.

 

My weekend:
Mistress spent Friday night with Silver at his place. Robert, acting on Mistress' suggestion, called to invite me to come to his house. He had me satisfy him orally, followed by him fucking my ass. When he was finished he told me that Mistress did not want me to stay after he was done. To put it another way, Robert used me and threw me out. Mistress now manipulated me by remote control.
Mistress came home late Saturday morning. I was given instructions to sleep with her, getting up in time to cook dinner for us.
That evening Mistress had me help her dress in lingerie for Silver's pleasure. Later, Silver arrived as expected. Mistress had me serve them champagne. Once in the bedroom, Mistress had me sit on the floor, next to but facing away from the bed, while they had sex. It was a tremendous turn-on. A literal mindfuck for me. After they were finished, Mistress had me wash Silver in the shower after he washed her. Silver stayed overnight while I obeyed Mistress by sleeping on the floor at the foot of the bed. Twice last night I was roused to the sounds of their lovemaking, leaving me desperate to masturbate, a caged eunuch. I was under strict orders to remain on the floor, unable to see them or be seen.
Today Silver left early and things returned to normal. I wonder if this will be our new weekend routine.

 

Just a few minutes ago I was able to put in the 4 gauge p.a. ring, per Mistress' order. It took me a few days, and I probably rushed it a bit, but the ring is in. I just don't know why. I figure Mistress will eventually get around to telling me. I've included a photo of the 4 gauge ring in place. Not having the cage on seems strange, but the skin around the p.a. hole is so tender from stretching that I wouldn't complain if it's a few days before I'm told to bring her the cage.
Things between Mistress and Silver seem to be progressing. She spent the night at his place a couple of times since last week, once he spent the night here. Mistress has me facing away from them, like last week, allowing my imagination free range. Mistress has told me that Silver took an aids test before they met, and has been otherwise chaste, so he'll get (hopefully) a clean bill of health sometime next week. Apparently he has been extremely careful about his health, and expects no problems. Mistress has hinted that I will be participating in their activities once the condoms are no longer necessary.. She has not been specific.

 

After a couple of days out of my cage to stretch out my p.a. hole, I'm now locked tight again in my very small personal prison. Even before Mistress starting teasing me I was very conscious of being restrained in the steel. i can't get hard but I can grow enough to press against the bars until it goes past the point of being uncomfortable.
Later, after licking Mistress to a couple of orgasms, my cage feeling exceptionally confining, Mistress told me to join her in the shower. But no touching. I wanted to beg her to unlock me, but kept silent. It isn't my place to question how she wants things.

 

This afternoon, Mistress told me she had a surprise for me. I have learned to be a bit anxious when she says things like that. Step one was using the reverse pliers to unlock my cage. Step 2 was to lube my p.a. hole and a new 4 gauge shackle. Step 3 was to insert the shackle into my penis. It was not an easy insertion. When I asked her what it was for she said that "tethering" came to mind. She didn't elaborate, enjoying leaving me in suspense.
The lock is fairly heavy, and caused a surprising amount of turtling. When I pointed this out, Mistress told me that one with a lighter 6 gauge shackle would be arriving soon and we could then explore possibilities. After a couple of uncomfortable hours wearing
the shackle, Mistress put me back in my cage. I am so happy that Mistress sent for the lighter, thinner shackle. Funny that knowing Mistress will be locking my penis with a 6 gauge shackle is a cause for relief. It's all relative.

 

Friday
This morning I was permitted to please Mistress after which she brought out her cock and, as planned, pegged me. When she was done, Mistress surprised me with the news that she will let me out of the cage, once per month at Robert's convenience, to give him full access to his girlfriend and allow me a full orgasm. If I can manage it. She said it's only fair to him. I noticed right away that being fair to me didn't factor into this. I found myself wondering if Robert and I would finally have a full sexual relationship. Knowing that Mistress had no intention of so much as touching my penis, I caught myself looking forward to having sex with another man. My boyfriend. Starting to get used to thinking of Robert as my boyfriend. I suppose that thought was reenforced when, while pegging me today, Mistress said that I make a good wife. It was a loving thing to say. After she finished, she had me put on a pink virus mask, a stuffed bra and a pullover top "just for fun". The result is below. She knows I find women with shaved heads attractive.

 

Today Robert came over shortly after Silver had arrived. I was momentarily surprised when they greeted each other with a kiss on the lips. Then I remembered that they were friends and, I now guessed, had been lovers. I was surprised that I was feeling jealous. We all had a glass of wine, and went into the bedroom. I realized Robert coming over when he did was planned by Mistress when she said something about having her boys all together. She congratulated Silver on being officially disease free, the results having arrived sooner than expected. She told us all to strip. Mistress had Robert tie me to a chair facing the bed. I had to watch while Mistress sucked on Robert's cock and then on Silver's. Mistress couldn't seem to get enough. The two men then took turns fucking her, because they certainly weren't making love, with Mistress an enthusiastic participant. At one point Silver took control of things, called Mistress a slut, and she called him "Master". I felt my cock straining to get hard in it's cage. Mistress made certain to tell me how much she enjoyed having them inside her, while pointing out that my little cock isn't worth fucking. It was difficult to watch. Both Robert and Silver came inside her. Robert then untied me. Mistress ordered me to lick every drop out of her, and to swallow it. While I did this Robert fondled my balls and Silver stroked my head. When I had finished I said to Robert, "I didn't know you liked women too." All three laughed at me. Wrapped in towels we sat on the floor drinking wine. Mistress told me she felt comfortable being submissive to Silver, but I was not to think that that in any way changed our relationship. To drive her point home she brought out her strap on and had me get on my hands and knees. She took me in front of both men, almost angrily, and ordered me to call her "Daddy". Yes, she made sure we all knew who was in charge. Mistress then had me wash each of them in the shower, which I found humiliating. In fact the entire evening had been humiliating, which was probably the point.

 

On Wednesday, Mistress sent me these cartoons to "cheer me up". I don't think she gets the concept. She also included photos of me altered to show what I might look like as a girl. I don't know what that's supposed to do for my morale. You be the judge.

 

The other day Mistress handed me a new white premium Cherrykeeper with a headlock. She put me in it immediately so I could get used to it, or as she put it, to take it out for a spin. It took a little doing to get the head of my penis in the cage past the headlock flange, as it was meant to. It is as restrictive as the Jailbird but in a different way. Without the weight of steel it stays snug to my body. The cone shape keeps the tip of my penis from pressing against the cage and should make urination easy. My penis definitely feels trapped and immobile, the way I believe a chastity cage should, a constant reminder of submission and sexual denial. So far I am impressed by it. Mistress told me we'd give it a week and review it's long lock up feasibility.

 

03-31-21
The smaller gauge shackle arrived today, and Mistress immediately removed the cage and had me slip it in through my p.a. hole and out through the lips. What a great relief it was that it went in so easily compared to the discomfort the 4 gauge caused me. I can't believe I actually told Mistress that it wasn't too heavy, and that it felt comfortable. Not the smartest thing I ever said. Soon I was naked, with the new shackle still locked through my penis. At first she connected the shackle by a chain to the oven door. As she locked me in place, Mistress said, "Sink, dishes, stovetop. Clean. Now." Then she gave the chain a slight tug and said, "See, tethering." When I had finished these tasks Mistress wrapped the chain around the bathroom sink, and told me I was not getting out until tomorrow, so I might as well clean the bathroom before I go to sleep. She left me enough slack to shower, as well as a pillow and a blanket. She seemed to be both pleased and amused as she walked away. At least she let me keep my phone to entertain me.

 

04-01-21
Mistress put me back in the small Cherrykeeper cage this morning, telling me the shackle will be a lot of fun and useful too. She has decided that today is a CFnm day so she can look at the white cage whenever she wants.
4-2-21
It's official: Mistress likes the new Cherrykeeper's smoothness, which makes it a good choice for long term wear. Mistress does, however prefer to see me locked in steel as my default cage. So I'm back in the small Jailbird for the foreseeable future. Mistress told me to buy more pouch style underwear to keep the weight of the cage from pulling on my balls. She had me prove her statement that the shackle could be threaded through my penis, while caged, to totally secure the Jailbird. Mission accomplished. Mistress had Silver come to our place this evening. My role was to be available to both of them while remaining, of course, locked up.
4-3-21
Saturday, Robert came over. Mistress unlocked my cock for him, as promised. At last! Robert looked at it carefully and told Mistress to lock me back up as he wasn't turned on by my small dick. Once this was done I was practically in tears from frustration. He whispered to Mistress who smiled and from her night table, took out a paddle which I hadn't seen before. I was instructed to bend over the bed. Robert gave me 10 hard smacks on each cheek for "disappointing" him. I was then ordered to pleasure him with my mouth, which I did, with Mistress watching. Mistress ordered me to shower while she and Robert had tea. When I rejoined them, Mistress told me I would spend the night with Robert. Once there Robert told me to strip and clean his house and do a good job. I wanted to ask him why he had been cruel to me, but it was not my place to question his actions. The evening went predictably.
4-4-21
Back home. All is quiet and peaceful. Mistress had me come to bed with her, and spooned me. She told me she loved me, that she was proud of me. Bliss.

 

Yesterday Mistress woke me up while taking off my cage. She told me that she was going to give me a half hour to fuck her and cum inside her. She wanted me to remember forever the last time I was allowed piv and the orgasm that followed. She assured me she was serious and took me in her mouth.

This afternoon Mistress surprised me with a new cage, the Cobra Baby, their shortest. She said she wanted a pink cage, but Cobras only come in black. After some initial pinching we managed to get it on, sealed with the Airlock system. The Cobra is a good looking device, and as you would expect, extremely light weight. It is even shorter than my 1 1/4" jailbird and so light I could forget I'm wearing it. Mistress told me she will give me an "erection test" to see what happens when my cock tries to grow and get hard. She teased me about how my cock didn't make a bulge in my pants. "Almost like you have a vagina." She said the new cage was pretty, and that she wanted me to wear it continuously until at least the end of the month. The cage passed the erection test, which meant that it totally prevented any growth. She said that she looks forward to showing it off to Robert , Silver and Callie.

 

Thanks. I'm a chromosome away from being hot. Lol. Mistress said that if I drop some weight and soften my features (with hormones?) I might make a passable transvestite. How comforting.

 

Mistress decided that she wanted to inspect me with the cage removed. The areas on the head where the skin bulged through the vent holes were white as though needed blood. Mistress said she'd keep an eye on it.
It was a day of teasing, Mistress taking pleasure in making me leak, which wasn't all that difficult, because after the recent release my hormones were wanting more. It wasn't long before Mistress had me roll dice. If I rolled an odd number the teasing would continue for ten minutes. An even number would get me pegged..and then teased again. The first three rolls bought me a half hour of teasing. After the next roll Mistress brought out her strap-on. After a while Mistress tired of the game and had me naked the rest of the day. She said it looked like I was starting to enjoy being pegged like a slut. I knew better than to talk back to Mistress. For the test of the day Mistress addressed me as "slut". Mistress again pointed out that there was no noticable bulge in my jeans, which she approved of. She had me take a couple of photos of me in panties and for the last one she told me to do something sexy. I am happy to say she approved.

 

Mistress decided that the Baby might be too tight and was cutting off circulation. So...I'm back in the small Jailbird, with the locking ring closed by my pliers. Mistress seemed a bit frustrated, having liked the look of the Baby, and told me I would be let out next month after my weight check provided I made my target weight loss. One more incentive.
Attached is a photo of me just released from the Cobra Baby, showing how important it is to make sure there are no problems with a device, especially a new one. There was no discomfort, so a visual inspection was crucial. The second photo is me in the cage Mistress prefers.

 

This afternoon Mistress took off my cage and told me we were going to try something a little more extreme. It's a Koalaswim cage. I've only been wearing it for a short while, but, I had to tell her it is uncomfortable and needed the support belt due to the weight. The core piece that pushes the penis into the body is very heavy, and unsupported, pulls down on the scrotum. The optional catheter was too wide to use. Right now, as I type this, I can feel all that steel inside my body, reminding me that my cock is in there too, and not pressed against the outer plate, like a kid pressed up against a candy store window. In short, I no longer have a penis. That is, there is no outside indication of one. I just put my hand down there and while I could feel my balls, touching the metal plate gave me no sensation of my penis, probably because it was held behind that steel plug and not barely separated from my touch. It is a disturbing feeling, probably as close as a man can get to being castrated without it actually happening. Mistress sent a photo to her sister, with the caption, "The Improved Model."
I am curious if anyone else in the Mansion has worn one of these, and if so, what their thoughts are.
It's a little later and Mistress freed me when I told her I couldn't urinate. We found that while lining up the security screw the tip of my penis shifted so it was not aligned with the urination hole. And the support strap was irritating my sack. So, I'm back in the small Jailbird, which is relatively luxurious. Mistress said not to worry, she has a contingency plan in the works.
To sum up my feelings, being denied my penis (my masculinity) was an unusual sensation and more than a little of a turn on. We were undone by the weight and pee alignment. I have to say I look forward to Mistress' next surprise.

 

Mistress has a strange sense of humor. She sent me this photo, saying it made her think of me servicing my boyfriend. She ordered me to forward it to him, with her caption and to let him know that I looked forward to having him in my mouth, if I do. I have to admit it, I do.

 

Mistress gave me a "Spring Present" by putting me in a Cherrykeeper Micro with the Premium smooth finish. Once I was locked, Mistress told me that I would be unlocked once a day when I shower, working up to once a week, depending on cleaning needs due to urine coming out of my p.a. hole. She seemed amused when she told me that not having a penis to confuse me, it should be easier for me to accept the label of "genderqueer". She explained that a gay or bi male used his penis to fuck an ass or get a bj., neither of which were now possible for me. Nor did I have the penis bulge in which males take pride. Sexually, she said, I am now closer to female than male. I certainly feel less "male" with my penis made virtually invisible and useless. To complete this humiliation, she said she might let me buy a strap on to wear when Silver was not available to her. It looks like she's thought this out.