My Hands Free Journal

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by MissCarly, May 25, 2019.

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  1. MissCarly
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    First thing this morning Mistress took off my cage, replacing it with the chain and ownership disk, and told me to shower and give the cage a cleaning. Mistress joined me in the shower and began rinsing me off with the hand held sprayer. She adjusted it to a medium stream and directed it at my balls. When Mistress saw that I was beginning to stiffen she said "This is interesting" and continued to move the stream back and forth across. I didn't get more than half hard, possibility due to the weight of the chain pulling my cock down. Mistress touched the tip of my penis with her finger and came up with a little precum. She touched her finger to my lips. As she wanted, I sucked it clean. Mistress adjusted the stream to a wide, gentle spray, and watched as my cock softened. The spray felt good but not as good as the harder stream. Mistress then began to switch stream intensities, having found a new way to tease me. Finally, Mistress moved the medium stream back and forth between my balls and asshole, never once touching me. I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation. Then my cock started to leak. Using just the shower spray Mistress was milking me! There wasn't the slightest feeling of release, it just ran out of me, with Mistress watching closely. She said, in a low voice, "Well well. How about that." When I had stopped leaking Mistress told me to turn off the shower, dry off, and wash the cage. When the cage was dry Mistress put lube on my penis and the inside of the cage. Soon I was locked back up, my penis hidden away. Mistress was sitting down. She told me to lay across her lap. I thought she was going to spank me. Then I felt her finger, moist with lube, lightly pressing into my asshole.
     
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    Mistress handed me a package this morning. In it was a new ownership disk . She explained to me that it more accurately represented our relationship than the current one. On one side was:
    CARLY(my nickname)
    In Chastity 01-01-09
    Slave
    Owned by (Mistress' name)
    On the reverse, instead of repeating this information like the current one is the quote: dolor hic tibi proderit olim. - Ovid. It translates as: someday this pain will be useful to you. Mistress definitely has a way of making a point. She told me to attach it to a chain for my P.A. I thanked her for the unexpected present. She was pleased with her gift and told me I'd be wearing it indefinitely. Once done I brought the chain/disk to Mistress. She removed my cage and put in my P.A. ring (still makes me nervous), attaching the chain with disk to it. So now I am wearing a disk attached to my penis proclaiming me to be a slave to anyone who might be permitted to inspect it. I take pride that Mistress took the trouble to declare me her slave.
    Mistress then gave me a pair of shorts from which my chain hung below the leg opening. The material can be held aside "for easy access".
     

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    #178 MissCarly, Nov 19, 2020
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2020
    With the temp dropping, Mistress has decided that I should wear jeans and a tee shirt while at home.
    Every morning, for the past couple of weeks, Mistress has used the hand held shower to tease me, but not allowing me even a ruined orgasm. Today Mistress told me that she was putting me back in a cage until at least New Years eve. At the stroke of midnight, Robert would take my virginity, starting a new phase of my life with the start of the new year. That phase will be my being available to both Robert as well as Mistress, whenever and however they please. With my penis locked and hidden from sight and touch, she said that I would have to learn to enjoy being anally penetrated. Mistress said that I have about a month and a half to think about this, knowing how I was to be used. I think I now know what it's like to be the scheduled sacrifice.
     
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    This is a very good blog wish you all the best for your new year it sounds like fun keep us posted
     
  5. MissCarly
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    Thanks for the kind words, I appreciate the feedback.
     
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    #181 MissCarly, Nov 20, 2020
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2020
    Tonight around 10pm, Mistress told me to take down my jeans and lay face up on the couch. This done, Mistress bent over my crotch and began touching my cage. When I asked her what she was doing, she said "Decorating." When she stood up I saw that she had replaced the lock with one of the rings I used to have in my nipples. "So pretty," she said. I had no idea she had saved the rings. The surprises keep on coming, even if I don't.
     

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    Saturday morning Mistress teased me in the shower with the handheld. In a circular movement she ran the stream of warm water across my balls. When she saw me begin to react, she moved the stream up and down my legs and across my stomach, being careful not to touch between my legs. When she saw that I was under control she moved the stream of warm water once more back and forth across my balls, and sometimes also against my asshole. She didn't stop until she had managed to drag some moans from me, announcing that I was getting close. After drying off, Mistress had me join her in bed to please her with my tongue. I could feel my cock still straining to grow in the cage as Mistress pressed her pussy against my lips. After I had satisfied her, she told me to shower and literally pushed me out of bed with her foot. "Now, slave." Once showered, I used the hand dryer on my cock in it's cage. I stood by the bed for Mistress' inspection. Before Mistress gave me permission to dress, she told me that she had decided that I should wear the Jailbird rather than the lighter weight pink plastic cage. When she put the steel cage on me, she had me hold it in place while she went to her night table. She showed me that she was holding a PA ring. Curious, I watched her put it through the hole where the lock would go. I told her that it would work it's way out without the bead. Mistress said that the bead didn't give a strong enough seal for this purpose. Before I could ask, Mistress held up a pliers. "I'm going to seal you in with this" she said. Sure enough, she used the pliers to pinch the ring closed. Mistress said that using the nipple ring to lock the plastic cage had given her the idea. Mistress commented that the steel ring gave my chastity a medieval look and showed that I was truly enslaved, the way slaves or prisoners used to be shackled by blacksmiths. She said that it also gave her the option of attaching a leash. She also said that since stainless steel rings didn't seize up or fail, the way a lock might, I could wear it for the rest of my life if that's what she wanted. If her purpose had been to further make me feel like her property, her slave, it worked. I knew that it would now take more than a passing whim for Mistress to take me out of this cage. A corner had been turned.
    Robert came over for lunch, dressed in an open neck Oxford shirt, Chinos and loafers. He was handsome, less than ten years younger than me, but had such an air of confidence I felt naturally submissive to him. Almost immediately Mistress ordered me to drop my jeans and show Robert how I was locked into the cage. He tested how strong the ring is by trying to pull it open. He shook his head and said, "There's no getting out that anytime soon." Mistress added, "Very true." After a few more comments, spoken as though I wasn't there, Mistress told me to pull up my jeans. Later, Mistress told Robert to "Go ahead, tell him". Robert told me that he wanted me to grow my hair until he gave me permission to get it cut. He said that long hair on me would look pretty. Mistress said once I got past the "need a trim" phase, where it starts to touch the top of my ears (where I am right now) letting it grow would be less annoying for me. She knows I prefer my hair short, but made it clear that my preferences are irrelevant. The decision had already been made. Later, remembering my responsibility to Robert, I knelt in front of him, holding my hand out to him, palm down, just as Mistress had instructed me. Robert asked Mistress if we could use the shower and guest room. Mistress said of course, anytime. Robert took me by the hand and led me into the bathroom, Mistress following. Mistress told me that Robert would first shave me, pubic hair to balls. Robert took his time, with a gentle touch. He was thorough, the cage not hindering him. After drying me, Mistress told Robert how to torture me with the hand shower. Robert showed he had a natural talent for it. As a refinement he had me stand with my hands behind my head, like a prisoner. He had me whimpering in frustration before he shut off the water and handed me a towel. Robert ordered me to dry him before I could dry myself.
    Next he led me into the guest room. He stretched out on the bed, idly stroking his cock. I laid down next to him. We kissed slowly, taking our time. I felt his cock stir against my thigh. Taking advantage of his nudity, I licked and kissed his entire body before touching his cock and balls. I had learned something about teasing and temporary denial. As I took him in my mouth he reached down and gently pulled on my balls. My cock swelled, filling the cage uncomfortably. I made certain to keep Robert on the edge until he couldn't take it any longer. He trusted me to take control of his pleasure, to make it last. Acting on impulse I drooled on my finger and slowly inserted it in Robert's rectum. He didn't object. When Robert had finished he kissed me, tasting my cum coated lips. When we came out of the room, Mistress was smiling in a contented fashion, pleased with herself and us. It was separate showers this time, strictly for washing. As I closed the bathroom door I overheard Robert say to Mistress, "He's coming along nicely."
     

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    Embarrassing thing happened last week. Mistress was teasing me with the hand shower across my balls, when I felt a sudden twinge. I managed to get out an urgent "uh oh" and began to urinate in a steady stream. Mistress laughed and said something like she hoped I wasn't going to start wetting the bed. Once she was sure I was finished she thoroughly rinsed off both me and the tub. A new humiliation has reared it's head.
    Today Mistress pointed out that I had been locked in the cage for 20 days, which meant that New Year's Eve was only 17 days away. Her way of saying that 17 days from now Robert would be fucking me up the ass. Like I needed reminding. She walked away singing Like a Virgin. Ha ha. Funny girl.
     
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    Today after lunch Mistress told me that she wants me to always wear at least one pink article of clothing. She had me put on pink panties and gave me a pink face mask to wear outside for shopping, etc. She said pink is definitely my color. She e-mailed the attached photo to Robert and Callie, laughing at their responses but not letting me see them. She wants me to wear something that hints of femininity without being too obvious. "Something to soften you up, so to speak." As she was making dinner, Mistress called out to me, "Fifteen days to go, sweetie." Like I hadn't seen the calendar with all the x'ed out days and the thickly circled "31".
     

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    This morning Mistress woke me by tugging and squeezing my balls. In spite of the discomfort, I quickly filled the cage. Mistress ran her pinky along my shaft, between the bars of the Jailbird. She then slowly stroked the cage bars as if she was masturbating me, but I couldn't feel a thing. Mistress was careful to touch only steel. She put her hand between her legs and then put her finger to my lips for me to suck clean. Mistress then moved up a little and steadily pushed me out of bed with her feet. "Omelette", she said. "Toast. Marmalade. Orange slices. Coffee". That's how my day began.
     
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    Today Mistress took me shopping for panties. She asked the sales clerk if she had any pink ones in my size. A little discussion followed resulting in a purchase. Mistress told me to go to the changing room and put them on. The clerk gave me a little smile as I obeyed. Mistress whispered something to the woman, resulting in laughter from both. That was the extent of Mistress' amusing herself at my expense. Once we got home Mistress opened my locking ring to release me. She hand washed my penis and balls and then applied baby oil, then immediately locked me back up. She told me that my next unlocking for maintenance would be the end of February. I was surprised to feel myself swell in my cage. Mistress told me to shower and then join her in the bedroom. It was a record short shower. When Mistress had finished with me, she spooned me. She whispered in my ear, "8 days to go."
     
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    Some random thoughts.
    Mistress has arranged that on the stroke of midnight New Years eve a friend of ours will take my anal virginity. I hasten to add that I agreed to this. It is Mistress' gift to me, allowing me a particular kind of sexual activity rather than none at all. Five days away and I find myself somewhat nervous, and yet also eager. Think of that first climb up to jump off a highboard, or having one person ahead of you before going on a zip line for the first time.
    On another topic, the ever popular penis size. When I was young I measured myself at 6", which I somehow determined was about average. I might have fudged the measurement a bit by pushing the ruler under my penis. About 7 years ago I had a mini stroke and I suddenly wanted to test my memory about the length of my penis. part of the reason was that when masturbating I really had to work to ejaculate and it seemed smaller erect than I remembered. So anyway, when I measured myself I came out to a little over 4" when erect or to put it another way, when I held my penis in my fist, the glans rested against my thumb, so that just the head showed. Needles to say, I was a bit disappointed in this shrinkage, which I believe might have been the result of the mini stroke. The word "mini" I now found annoyingly ironic. Skip ahead several years to measuring myself for my jailbird, and I came up with ordering a cage length of 2 1/2". When aroused I fill the cage completely, trying to grow bigger. While it definitely stops any growth, I've found that when flacid I have enough room to "flop around in there" as Mistress has pointed out. To address this, Mistress has informed me that she has ordered a shorter, tighter cage for me, measuring 1 1/4" in length and diameter. She said it will probably arrive around the end of January. Mistress said to me, "That should keep it small and useless, as it should be." I'm not certain if this counts as just teasing or sph. I feel the love.
     
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    New Year's eve went as planned. Robert came to our place for dinner. We watched some tv and then Robert and I showered and went to the guest room. Robert gently took my anal virginity to the soundtrack of the New Year's countdown. It was a far more emotional experience for me than I had expected. Sometime after Robert had penetrated me, Mistress had silently come into the room to observe us. I was only aware she was in the room when, after we were finished, she took my face between her hands and kissed the tears I didn't know were there. She told me that she loved me and I replied in kind. Robert pointed out that I had had an orgasm. It was a surprise to me. Later, Robert joined Mistress and me in bed, with me in the middle. We fell asleep almost instantly. The next morning, before breakfast, Robert had me wear a covid dia de los muertos mask and took me again. Mistress told me that she enjoyed watching me get fucked in the ass. She said that I was a natural. I took a long bath to sooth my sore anus. And so the year began.
     

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    Today a bouquet of flowers arrived. After reading the card, Mistress told me that they were for me. From Robert. Mistress said that it was sweet that Robert was wooing me, like a good boyfriend. I didn't know what to say to that. She told me not to worry, that I would always be hers first, Robert's second. Mistress then stroked my cage and told me to put the flowers in a vase and to put them on my night table so I would see them first thing in the morning.
     
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    Today Mistress told me that my new jailbird with the 1 1/4" length and diameter cage had arrived. She had me thoroughly clean the new ring and cage. We went through the process of freeing me, cleaning, and lube. Mistress then put me in the new cage, smiling at how it restricted me from growing. She locked me in, saying that it should be more comfortable since there was now less steel pulling on my balls, less steel hanging between my legs. The new ring is oval and it took a little doing to get my second testicle in. I was surprised when Mistress sealed the ring with it's bead. She told me she thought it would hold, and it looked cute with the bead. She will inspect the cage periodically to make certain I am adjusting to it. Mistress commented that now I had just a nub for a cock.
    Then, as if it had almost slipped her mind, Mistress told me that her sister Callie had given her a strap on harness so Mistress could have some fun with me. She brought me into the bedroom and I was relieved to see the cock she had bought was not as thick as I'd feared. She said it was as close to what my cock used to look like when it was given a chance to grow, only longer. Mistress put on some classical music for a romantic mood. Mistress then ordered me to strip. Soon Mistress was concentrating on getting the harness to fit snugly, and comfortably. Mistress pointed out that now she has a cock and I don't. She had me lube it thoroughly and then get on my hands and knees on the bed. I immediately noticed how much lighter the cage was, hanging above the mattress. Mistress reminded me that I had put my cock in her ass multiple times, so now it was her turn to fuck me. While she fucked me, I was to call her "Daddy." That was new and unexpected. She positioned herself behind me, rubbing the tip against my anus, working it in slowly. She said in a low, intense voice, "at least one of us is really going to enjoy this." While the cock is only semi rigid, it felt like a steel ber stretching me open, different from when Robert entered me. Mistress took her time, getting used to how to move her hips for maximum penetration. Soon she was holding my hips as she fucked me. After a while she had me lay on my back, and with the aid of a pillow under my butt, fucked me in the missionary position. When she saw that I had had enough she slowly pulled out of me, giving my cheek a light slap. Mistress inspected my new cage, and saw that I had leaked. She said that she liked that I could get pleasure from anal sex, as it's the only type of sexual pleasure allowed me. We cuddled then. I think she felt as close to me as I did her. It was very comforting. Although it was Mistress who had done the penetrating, and I who had been submissive to her cock, there was no doubt we had just made love. This is still so new to me that I am not aware of having an orgasm, or even leaking, just being penetrated. We took turns in the shower, Mistress handing me her cock, telling me to clean it thoroughly. I wouldn't say that I get pleasure from being used that way, but it has become less uncomfortable, less unpleasant. My main pleasure is in giving her what she wants and needs. Mistress told me that she expected me to go down on her later.
     

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    Mistress had me strip and lay on our bed. She handed me her pink vibrator and told me that I could use it for 10 minutes to have an orgasm. "Spread your legs," she ordered. I did as told and placed the vibrator against my balls. Watching me laying there, using the vibrator , Mistress said approvingly, "Very feminine." Sad to say, I didn't come anywhere close to an orgasm. As Mistress looked at me, vulnerable in the new small cage, my legs still spread, she informed me that this makes me orgasm free for 136 days. Mistress then bent over and touched the tip of her tongue to the lips of my penis, just barely accessable through the cage bars. She then raised up and said to me that now she knew what it was like to lick a clit. I could feel my cock wanting to grow but nothing could happen in the new cage. I felt desexed. I always considered my masculine identity as being something intrinsic in me, but now that Mistress had effectively taken away my most primary sexual feature, was I still male or now something other, something less? Perhaps chastity was pushing the species to some new form of evolution. Or maybe I was just over reacting to the increased confinement of the new cage.
     
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    Random thoughts: Since this new cage compresses my cock, it prevents erections without stopping me from getting excited. It is the perfect cage to maximize sexual frustration. The cage is not meant to be a punishment but rather, I believe, a constant reminder that Mistress has neutered me. That I should no longer think of myself as a man, but rather as her personal slave and sexual object, to be used as she pleases.
     
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    This past Saturday Mistress drove me to Robert's place. I was to clean his house, cook lunch, and do anything Robert told me to do. Right away I was ordered to strip. Robert was curious about my new cage and asked if it was uncomfortable. I told him that I was getting used to it. Then he said, "you might as well not have a cock for all you're showing." I told him it was how Mistress wanted me. At that I was put to work cleaning. We ate lunch together after I had made eggs benedict for us. We moved to the couch and began kissing. Robert fondled my balls, saying that it was too bad I was locked up tight. "Tight", I agreed. Robert then said that his cock was not locked up, which was a hint to take him in my mouth. Later weshowered together, with Robert taking me standing up. After he finished, he told me it was his prison sex fantasy, with me being the new guy forced in the shower. He then laid me on his bed and began sucking my balls. When he saw that I was breathing heavily, he stopped and said that Mistress says hello. The new cage prevented me from getting the slightest erection, no matter how excited I was, just as Mistress wanted. My cock was totally restrained, and I was completely frustrated. Then he told me to get dressed, it was time to go. He drove me home, occasionally patting my crotch.
     
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    We were in bed, Mistress fondling my balls, enjoying being able to excite me without my being able to grow or get hard. She casually remarked on the temporary indentations the 1 1/4" Jailbird made on my cock. After a moment she said, "I wonder how long you'd have to be locked before the marks became permanent." She gave my cage a shake and said, "Something to think about."
     
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    Random thoughts:
    Mistress pointed out that starting at the time we had agreed she ended our sex life, (an approximation as there was no formal decision) I have effectively been in chastity for 12 years. As of today, I have been locked and orgasm free, in one cage or another, for 525 days straight. Time flies. Mistress asked me if I regret being denied pussy for so long. My honest answer was that initially I resented it, but I had eventually realized that being with her was worth any sacrifice. So no, no regrets. We started our lives together as equal partners. Now I defer to her, am sworn to obey her in all things, including being given to a male friend as his submissive boyfriend. I find myself becoming comfortable with this arrangement, accepting it as normal. I even look forward to spending time with him, having come to think of him as a friend as well as a lover. Yes, I have to admit that he is my lover, and I have to adjust my self image to correspond with this reality.
     
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    This morning Mistress told me that for Valentine's Day she had decided that she would put me in the 2 1/2" cage for a teasing session, to see if my cock can still grow. It can. She was pleased to see that I filled the cage. Then she released me and put a cold pack on my balls. Soon I was back in the small cage, unable to grow or get hard. "That's better" Mistress said. "Get the lube." Mistress put on her strap-on. and had me apply the lube, another example of her enjoying having me participate in my submission to her. We got on the bed and she took me in the doggy position. She played with my balls and whispered endearments while she fucked me. I found myself not just taking it but pushing back. I could feel pressure building. Mistress saw I was close. She stopped moving. I begged her to let me cum. She began to tease me. Finally, she moved her hips again, slowly moving her cock inside me and stopped in time to make my cum run out of me, while denying me my orgasm. I heard myself groan with frustration. Mistress slowly withdrew her cock from my ass. She sounded amused when she said, "You've made a mess. Go wash up."
     

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    Today Mistress took off my cage and, with plenty of lube, put a Master padlock in my p.a. piercing. This made me nervous about the possibility of the cut out part snagging on the inside and doing damage. Fortunately there was no problem taking it out, but I explained my concern to Mistress and she agreed she wouldn't put a padlock on me again.
     

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  23. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Carly

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    This afternoon, Mistress drove me to Callie's house. Mistress told me that since Callie had suggested that Mistress train my ass for pegging, it would be nice for her to let Callie fuck me. Callie opened the door for us, wearing jeans and a tee shirt. After they had kissed in greeting Mistress said, "Here's your fuck toy. Have a good time." Mistress told me to obey Callie, went back to the car and returned home. Callie told me to strip and wait for her in the bedroom. Callie soon returned after undressing and putting on her strap-on. She had me kiss her ass, and lick her anus, and suck her cock. Callie then lubed her cock and mounted me, definitely more forcefully than Mistress, who tended to be a more tender lover. Callie laughed at the restrictive cage I wore, my cock compressed to worthlessness. When she had finished, Callie said that now I was her bitch too. It was hard to argue that point with someone who had just fucked me in the ass and then ordered me to get her a beer. We then showered and got dressed. Sometime later, after I had finished washing her dishes, and painting her nails, Callie told me to go home. By bus. I was greeted at the door by Mistress, who said, "Hi honey. Did you have a good time on your play date?"
     
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  24. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Carly

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    Found the attached n my e-mail this morning with the subject : "Good News for You". Interesting what Mistress finds amusing.
     

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  25. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Carly

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    Friday morning Mistress spent an hour teasing me. Frustrated me nearly out of my mind. It pleases her to see me in that condition. Mistress said that if I beg her, she might peg me to orgasm. ("Please Daddy, fuck my ass with your big cock.", etc.) If I don't it's more teasing without release, maybe a paddling too. Whatever strikes her fancy. Funny how begging to get ass fucked became the desirable option.
     
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