A New Chapter Unfolds

I haven't seen much drop this time. Re-locking right away definitely helps, but I've done that before and this time was different. I asked hubby if he noticed anything and he said that as amazing as Valentine's Day was, he was surprisingly horny the next morning. He thinks that after such a long stretch of denial, one orgasm just wasn't "enough" to completely reset things.

Of course I followed this to its natural conclusion: that three months was therefore the perfect duration. I might surprise him with a bonus orgasm once in a while, but he shouldn't expect more than perhaps five full orgasms this year. Could he live with that? Or were monthly orgasms much better overall? Did he even still want to continue with chastity?

Laying it out like that scared him a little. He definitely wanted to continue being locked up, but three months felt like a very long time - almost impossible to think about. However, the ruined orgasms definitely helped a lot. In some ways it was better than when he was getting mostly orgasms. After some more thought he said he thought he could be happy with five orgasms.

Sometimes I wonder if this is just a phase. If next week we'll chuck the whole thing and go back to our weekly routine. That's certainly what I believed last Spring. But we've been on this path almost an entire year. I've made a few adjustments (and mistakes) long the way, but everything really seems to be clicking now. There's a good chance this plan will stick, and I'll have a very fun year.

 

It's been a little over a year since hubby asked to be locked in chastity full time. I never thought it would last this long. Although I've controlled hubby's orgasms for many years, the chastity cage had always been a bit of a novelty. Something to bring out now and then, play for several weeks, then put away and return to "normal". But now the cage has become part of our new normal.

I asked hubby how he felt about having spent a year in chastity. He said he had gotten completely used to the cage, and felt we had grown closer and more intimate while he's been locked up. But he really misses orgasms and wishes I'd be more generous with them.

Before we took the chastity plunge, hubby only had to wait about a week between orgasms. It wasn't a strict schedule, but overall he probably averaged somewhere between 3 and 4 per month. We've practiced some variation of that routine for years. Chastity changed everything. After a bumpy start, I settled on monthly orgasms as a way to deal with his post orgasm drop. Hubby adjusted to that month wait much quicker than I expected, and overall it worked reasonably well. The drop only lasted a few days, and the rest of the month was great.

Then I experimented with ruined orgasms, which let off just enough pressure to avoid irritability while keeping him at peak horniness. He's only had one full orgasm this year, with no discernible drop afterwards, and it was been wonderful. At least from my perspective.

Hubby made a case for returning to monthly orgasms. He promised to be on his best behavior and not let the drop affect anything. I know he means well. I know he'll try his hardest. But I also know it isn't really a conscious choice. I maintained that monthly was too often. He waited three months for his last orgasm, I was sure he could wait three months for his next.

He pleaded about how frustrated he was and how difficult it was to wait week after week. I felt bad. I love him and want to make him happy. But what he says he wants isn't always what he really needs. I wasn't sure if I was asking too much of him. I offered to go back to our old routine: no cage, and weekly orgasms. But if he wanted to continue with chastity then he would only get a few full orgasms per year. That was non-negotiable. With hardly a moment's thought, he agreed to continue being locked up. Apparently we both enjoy everything that chastity has brought to the table.

It's going to be interesting to see what this second year brings.

 

I think it's more than just the cage. There's definitely a different dynamic after hubby has been denied for a long time. The cage makes it easier to get there.

What surprises me the most is that hubby doesn't really "need" a full orgasm. I wouldn't want to eliminate them completely, but a ruined orgasm every few weeks is sufficient to keep things steady. He was able to wait three months for a full one, and I suspect I could push that to six or even twelve months if I really wanted to. I believe he likes the waiting more than the actual finish line.

I can't really relate to that myself. I get impatient if I have to wait for later that same day. Enduring such frustration for days, weeks, or months is a very strange concept to me.

 

I'm on a mission: to give hubby an anal orgasm. I know this is going to be a long journey, and we may never succeed, but I definitely want to try. The ultimate goal is for him to have such an orgasm while I am pegging him. Once in a while it feels like he gets ever so close, but we never quite get there. So I decided to try another approach, a more hands-on approach.

About once a week, instead of normal edging, I tease hubby's ass. At first I unlocked him for these sessions assuming that his cock would be a useful barometer. But it seemed to harden and soften in no relation whatsoever to what he was feeling, so now it remains safely locked in its cage. It's better that way. I'm not tempted to stroke it, and hubby isn't distracted by it.

I've experimented with several different toys, and one dildo in particular seems to work much better than anything else. It isn't the longest or the thickest, but it does have an unusual shape and pronounced curve. The first time I hit the right angle with it, hubby moaned sharply, tensed up and said he was afraid he was going to cum. I reassured him that he had permission to cum and whatever happened would be fine. Hubby relaxed a little, and although he didn't have an orgasm, his moan made it clear how much he enjoyed my ministrations.

Since then I've gotten much more adept at hitting that magic spot. With the right rhythm I can bring hubby ever so close to the edge. But he keeps hitting some sort of wall. I think he needs to let go and just let the sensations wash over him rather than zeroing in on anything specific. At least that's how it works for my orgasms. But I also realize it's going to take time. Hubby has had a lifetime of practice with one kind of orgasm, and now he has to unlearn some of that.

Even if he never gets there, the teasing sessions have been enormous fun. His moans send tingles down my spine, and hubby looks forward to these nights.

 

I'm assuming it was his prostate. It wasn't quite where I expected based on various diagrams, but anatomy is tricky. Or maybe I'm just really bad at translating from diagrams to real life.

 

Those are some interesting ideas. Perhaps I'm being unrealistic, but I don't want to add other physical stimulation just yet. I just have this sense that the "wall" is in hubby's mind, not his body. That he needs to let go and surrender to what he's feeling. But I could be way off base.

Things that put him in a different frame of mind might be worth a try, though. He does like being tied up. Combining it with my own orgasm might require some maneuvering, but that also has potential.

 

Hubby's anal orgasm remains elusive, but I feel we're making progress. One thing that has helped a lot, aside from time and patience, is that I completely ignore hubby's cock when teasing his ass. It's one or the other, never both. I'm very strict about this, keeping him locked before, during, and after our "ass" sessions. That has really focused his attention on the moment. He knows it will be the only stimulation he's going to receive for the evening and he must make the most of it.

I've seen a big change over the last few weeks. He still prefers being edged, but there have been a couple nights where after I made it clear that I wasn't going to unlock him he asked for some anal teasing instead. That's a huge step for hubby since he's generally really embarrassed about butt stuff. Of course both times I rewarded his progress with a generous amount of teasing.

I must admit that I'm really tempted to make his cock completely off limits for an extended time. A couple weeks would be interesting. Perhaps longer. I know he could last a month since we've done that for Locktober, but then again Locktober was kind of a miss for us. Would this be different? How would hubby feel after a month with only anal stimulation and no erections whatsoever? Would his begging for a few strokes from my hand be replaced by an equally desperate desire to be penetrated?

I find the idea very intriguing. But I don't want to be reckless. I have a tendency to overdo things. The last few weeks have been great, and perhaps it is best just to stay the course.