A New Chapter Unfolds

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  1. MsPamela
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    MsPamela Long term member

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    I have controlled hubby's orgasms for many years. At first, I was merely indulging his kink, and I struggled with feelings of guilt any time I denied him. I gradually became more comfortable in the role, and my dominant side flourished. Though we're equal partners in our day to day life, I have complete control in the bedroom, and it has worked well for both of us. We're intimate almost every day, and hubby gets a few orgasms per month, mostly relying on the honor system. That foundation has kept our sex life vibrant and exciting over all these years.

    We've played with chastity on and off whenever I felt like making hubby wait a bit longer for his orgasm. Those adventures typically lasted about a month, and brought out our kinkier tendencies. I was a little more demanding and hubby became a lot more submissive. Then I would finally let him cum and we returned to our routine. I've always looked at those times sort of like vacations: fun, exciting, a bit of effort, and always nice to return home from.

    Recently, hubby expressed interest in being locked up on a more permanent basis. I was skeptical, but willing to give it a try. After all, I had thought orgasm denial was ridiculous at first and it wound up becoming the cornerstone of our sex life. Besides, I had the easy part. Hubby would be the one in chastity, and I could still have pleasure whenever I wished.

    I had already started writing about this on another site, but it this feels like a better place for it. Below are the two posts I had written, one about a week ago, the other from yesterday.
     
  2. MsPamela
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    (note - this is a copy of something I wrote about a week ago)

    Several weeks ago hubby asked me to lock him in his chastity cage. The request caught me off guard. I usually initiate hubby's stints in chastity as something special. I treat them as extended playtime where I get a little kinkier and hubby has to wait longer for his orgasm. It's very enjoyable, but I also feel a little pressure, sort of like planning a vacation. I had been enjoying our stretch of "normal" and wasn't ready for an adventure. On the other hand, it is rare for hubby to open up so I listened.

    It turned out he wasn't pushing for us to break from our routine. He just wanted the cage to be part of that routine. He felt more at ease when he was locked up and expected everything else would be more or less the same as normal for us. I agreed to give it a try. I didn't really understand what hubby was expecting out of it, but if that's what he wanted then it was easy enough for me to accommodate.

    What followed was quite ordinary. We were intimate when I felt like it, which wound up being most nights. But I didn't feel any pressure to be creative. Hubby would give me an orgasm with his fingers, tongue, or vibrator. Then I'd unlock him for a bit of teasing. Maybe we'd spoon for a bit, his hardness nestled between my cheeks. Then I'd say we were done for the night and he'd dutifully lock himself back up. Apart from the chastity cage, that's more or less the formula that's worked for us for many, many years.

    After about a week of teasing, I gave hubby and orgasm. We don't really have a schedule. Sometimes I let him cum after only a few days, other times it is closer to two weeks. But on average I think he waits about a week between orgasms. It wasn't anything particularly memorable, just our normal routine. But that's when the trouble began. Hubby didn't want to go back in the chastity device. I didn't really care either way, but I reminded him that it was his idea in the first place. If he wanted chastity to be part of our normal routine then that meant being locked up after an orgasm. He relented and put it on.

    The next few days were strange. Hubby seemed a little grumpy and complained about the chastity device being uncomfortable. At first I was worried because he has never complained about it before. I was concerned that perhaps there was a legitimate problem. But there wasn't anything out of the ordinary, other than hubby being irritable about the entire thing. His irritability rubbed off on me, and we kind of avoided one another for a bit. I know there's always a lull after hubby's orgasm, but it is usually brief and much more mild. I felt the chastity cage was exacerbating the problem. Then it was like a switch flipped and hubby was back to himself. Not a peep about the chastity device, except to tell me how much he liked me controlling his orgasms.

    I mulled it over while we continued with our routine. I really wanted to indulge hubby's desire to remain locked up, but I couldn't see how to make it work. I didn't want two or three days of moodiness every week. I was sort of dreading his next orgasm, which was the opposite of how things should be. I told hubby that I didn't think the chastity thing was working.

    Hubby was surprised, but after I pointed out the bumps in the past week, he agreed it had been a problem. He didn't want to give up, and promised to behave better next time. I was skeptical, but willing to give it one more try. As the week passed I found myself avoiding giving hubby an orgasm. What used to be a joyous thing had become filled with anxiety. More days slipped by, and it was closer to two weeks when I finally let him cum.

    Hubby's behavior was slightly better this second time, but still not ideal. Hubby and I had another chat. I must admit I was pretty annoyed with him and probably could have handled it better. I felt trapped by impossible demands and just wanted to ditch the whole idea. Why did we have to mess with what had been working fine? Hubby wasn't ready to give up. I told him that there just wasn't any way he could have weekly orgasms in chastity. He suggested waiting two weeks, and I pointed out that's pretty much what we just did and I didn't want to repeat it. He offered a month. I just glared at him. As I said, I wasn't in a good frame of mind for the discussion. But hubby wasn't letting it go. Finally, in a fit of exasperation, I said if he wanted the cage then he would have to give up orgasms - he couldn't have both.

    There was a long pause.

    He mumbled a weak "ok". In retrospect, perhaps he had already reached that solution himself but just needed me to be the one to suggest it. It took us a while to sort out the details. He kept deferring to whatever I wanted, which is considerate, but not super helpful, especially when we're breaking new ground. But eventually we worked out a plan.

    Hubby is remaining in chastity and his next orgasm is very far away. We didn't set a precise timeframe and hubby says he can wait "indefinitely". I mentioned three months as a good starting point, maybe longer. Hubby said he had no expectations and it would be completely up to me. At one point I suggested our anniversary, which is 6 months away. Instead of objecting, hubby merely said "if you wish".

    This is a huge change. There is usually some rough guideline that we're both working from, whether it is "a week or two" for our routine or "about a month" for those special times. I bend those rules a little, but I have some confidence that I'm not going too far off the trail. There aren't any guides here, just a vague idea of waiting many months. Instead I have a guardrail. If hubby feels I'm going too far and he truly wants to stop, he just has to say so in a written note. We'll wait 24 hours and if he still feels the same way then we'll stop. But until then I can assume he's happy with the arrangement. It feels like that should help, but we'll see how it plays out.

    Although full orgasms are off the menu, there will still be an occasional ruined orgasm. I've used those before to good effect when hubby has been in chastity. After two or three weeks of denial, a ruined orgasm smooths things out without reducing hubby's desire in the slightest. Hubby acknowledges that they do wind up helping overall, but the ruin itself is incredibly frustrating and he would prefer for me to use them sparingly.

    I'm not sure how I feel about all of this. There are certainly some aspects I like about keeping hubby locked up, and without any post-orgasm crash to mess things up this might be wonderful. But the lack of a concrete timeline makes me nervous. Perhaps I just need to trust the guardrail.

    I'm not sure how to "reward" hubby. Orgasms are the usual reward, but they are off the table. Hubby doesn't consider ruined orgasms as a reward. What's left? He says he enjoys the teasing, but is that really enough? I need to figure out something special that I can use as a reward during the coming months.

    I'm surprised to admit it, but there's a part of me that wants to see how far he'll go before breaking. A month should be easy. That's kind of a standard "long time" for us, and he's lasted that long numerous times. Could he last three months? His record is 11 weeks, which is pretty close. On the other hand, three months is a crazy long time for us. That 11 week record wasn't planned. On any given day, I thought I might give him an orgasm in another week or so. Then that day came and went and I still expected it to be a week. Eventually 11 weeks had passed, but to hubby it probably was a series of "just another week or so". This time is different - he knows it is going to be a long time on day one.

    What would six months be like? I wasn't really serious about our anniversary, thought there is some merit to the idea. I love taking advantage of special occasions. If it was only a few months away then I'd definitely want that to be his next orgasm. But six months feels absurdly long. I wonder if there's some sort of plateau where after a while it stops getting more difficult or frustrating and everything sort of evens out. It seemed like that happened during our 11 week run. Sometime after the first month we had reached an enjoyable equilibrium, where each additional week extended the fun without breaking it. If we could achieve that state again then perhaps waiting until our anniversary isn't completely ridiculous. Of course I'm not the one giving up my orgasms. Quite the contrary - I expect to have well over a hundred between now and then.

    That really drives home how lopsided this arrangement is. I'm already used to having five or ten orgasms to hubby's one, which itself is incredible. My friends would be so jealous if they knew! Now we're talking about something like a hundred and fifty to one. I think I'm getting carried away and need to focus more on the here and now. I think tonight I'll sit on hubby's face, watching his cock strain in its cage as his tongue pleases me. If he does a good job then I'll unlock him for a bit. Maybe I'll quickly bring him right to the edge with some long, firm strokes. Or perhaps I'll take a more leisurely approach, my hand gently resting on his cock and giving it an occasional soft caress. I'm uncertain how long hubby will have to wait for an orgasm, but I am sure it won't be tonight.
     
  3. MsPamela
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    MsPamela Long term member

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    (note - this is an update from yesterday)

    Hubby has given up orgasms "indefinitely". I question how long this will really last, and won't be surprised if after a month or so he asks to stop. But in the meantime I'm taking him at his word that this is something he wants and will enjoy. I'm not complaining, because hubby clearly has the most difficult end of this bargain. But I'm starting to realize how much the potential reward of an orgasm was woven into our dynamic. I could drop a hint to build up his anticipation, use it as a reward after he did something unusually thoughtful or creative, or simply surprise him because I felt like it. I wanted to figure out an appropriate substitute that would lead to similar anticipation, reward, and surprise.

    I asked hubby to come up with a list of five enjoyable things that we don't do often enough. Hubby dislikes writing about sex even more than talking about it, and I shouldn't have been surprised that he kept putting off the "assignment". That evening, while teasing his caged cock, I mentioned that I wasn't going to unlock him until he gave me he completed the task. When I woke the next morning, a neatly written list was waiting for me on my nightstand!

    The contents, however, weren't quite what I expected. I was hoping to find one or two things that I could do for hubby as a reward. Instead, I found a list that was mostly focused on me. With one exception, they were activities that I thoroughly enjoy, though it was informative to see which details hubby emphasized. For example, there was definite theme of hubby being naked while I was mostly clothed. More surprisingly, three of the ideas involved my feet. I honestly had no idea hubby was harboring such a foot fetish, but now I'm going to feel a lot less guilty requesting foot massages. Overall, hubby's list was quite illuminating, but it didn't really address my problem.

    The last item was the only one that felt even remotely like a reward for hubby. He wanted to watch me masturbate. That's a little outside of my comfort zone, but not a hard "no". I rarely pleasure myself; why would I need to when hubby is always available? Furthermore, I'm a little self conscious about having an "audience". But if hubby wanted it enough to put it on the list then perhaps I could oblige as a special treat. I still didn't have anything that could be used as a fairly regular reward.

    I thanked hubby for list, but told him I wanted to know that he would enjoy, not what he thought I would enjoy. He insisted that he would thoroughly enjoy everything on the list. I clarified that I was looking for things I could do to him, not things he'd do to me. I requested that he add three more items, with the focus on him instead of me. He wasn't thrilled with the additional homework, so I patted his cage and reminded him of the consequences of procrastination.

    Later that afternoon he handed me a second list. I had already decided that I'd happily accept whatever he managed to write. I had already learned quite a bit from his first list. If his biggest fantasies, or at least those he could admit to me, mostly involved serving me then that wasn't really something to complain about. I'd just have to focus on the details that were significant to him and treat that as the reward.

    Reading his second list, I was pleasantly surprised. It was exactly what I had been looking for. The first item was quite detailed, with lots of different variations, but basically revolved around me tying him up, and then teasing him on and off for a prolonged period of time. The teasing itself seemed rather routine. The surprising part was that he wanted it to last for hours, though he made it clear he didn't expect constant attention from me. In fact it seemed like for most of the time he'd just be tied up and waiting for me while I did whatever else I wanted to around the house. We had toyed a little with that sort of thing before, but never for the durations he was envisioning. Personally, I would have hated being tied up and ignored like that, but then again I'm not really into being tied up at all. Hubby and I are wired differently, and this was clearly something he had put a lot of thought into. It wasn't a spur of the moment thing, but I could see spending a Sunday afternoon in such a manner.

    The second idea wasn't nearly as detailed, with only a couple sentences. He wanted a blowjob. He said he loves it when I lick and suck his cock through his chastity cage and he wishes I'd do that more often. But ultimately he love a blowjob when he's unlocked. I have mixed feelings about this one. I think it's been years since I've given hubby a real blowjob. I am not very confident in my oral skills, and it was a staple of our sex life only when we were first dating. I've toyed with a little licking and sucking now and then while hubby is locked up, and it always gets a good reaction. I could incorporate that more often, especially since it made hubby's list. I'm not sure about an unlocked blowjob. I kind of like how blowjobs have become something that he only gets while locked. Maybe I could keep an unlocked blowjob in reserve as a very special reward, but I'm reluctant to make it a regular thing.

    The third idea was also relatively brief. He wanted to be inside me. He suggested "reverse cowgirl", though said any position at all would be wonderful. He emphasized that he didn't want an orgasm, and that the few times I've teased him this way have been especially intense. This was going to be tricky. There are practical reasons I don't tease him with my pussy very often. First, I find it harder to judge how close he is. With my fingers, I know exactly where he's at and can play him like an instrument. When he's inside me, I just don't now. Second, I don't think his self control is as good when he's inside, especially when he's been denied for any significant length of time. Lastly, I lose my self control as well. It feels good. Really good. Too good. Combining all of those factors, riding him only works well the first few days of denial, or when I am going to let him have an orgasm. We're too late for the first, and way too early for the second. It's still a very tempting idea, but I'm not quite sure how to make it work.

    One item was conspicuously missing from the list: pegging. We don't do it very often, but I know he enjoys it immensely. I had expected it to be at the top of his list. But hubby is also really embarrassed about anything going in his butt, and gets super uncomfortable talking about it. I can see where writing about it, essentially asking to be pegged, would be difficult for him. I wanted to ask hubby, but needed to wait for the right time.

    That time came later that night. I was still enjoying the lingering effects of a wonderful orgasm. I had reciprocated by unlocking hubby and bringing him right to the edge. My head was resting on his chest, my fingers lightly tracing the length of his cock. He had come down from the edge, though still breathing hard. I had his fully attention, and more importantly his body could reveal the things he might have a hard time saying.

    "My birthday is coming up", I whispered, "and I think a special birthday fuck is in order."

    "Mmm, that would be wonderful", he replied, "it's been a while, and you know how much I love being inside you."

    "Yes, it has been a while. I'd love to feel you inside, but I'm worried you'd have an orgasm. I still do want to fuck, though, so it will have to be me inside you instead."

    Hubby's silence was deafening. But his body told a different story. His cock twitched and his breathing quickened.

    "I feel so close when I peg you", I explained, "and I think you like it too. If you're serious about giving up orgasms, then that may be the only way we can fuck from now on."

    More silence. More twitching.

    "But only if you also enjoy it", I continued, "I need to hear you say it".

    A long pause. I waited, the implied question still hanging in the air. My fingers continued to lightly tease hubby's throbbing cock.

    "I enjoy it", he finally mumbled.

    "I didn't quite catch that", I lied.

    "I enjoy it", he repeated, much clearer the second time.

    "Enjoy what? Be specific, dear.", I encouraged.

    "I like being pegged by you."

    "That's good to hear. And do you like my idea for a birthday fuck?"

    "Yes, very much. I'm looking forward to it."

    "I can tell", I chuckled, gently stroking hubby's cock. "Maybe we don't have to wait for my birthday. I could fuck you tonight if you really needed it."

    That was followed by some absolutely wonderful begging from hubby. I nudged him to be more and more explicit describing what he needed, my finger gently teasing his asshole as encouragement. My original plan was just to draw hubby out for a little discussion. I hadn't intended on pegging him right then and there. He pleading was quite convincing, and I nearly caved. But in the end I held firm, hoping that this desire would only build in the days leading up to my birthday. Hubby was clearly disappointed with my decision, but thanked me nonetheless for such amazing teasing.

    Overall I was very pleased with the exercise. I came away with two very solid ideas: pegging, and tying hubby up for prolonged teasing. I can definitely see either or both of those becoming fairly regular rewards for hubby in lieu of an orgasm. Two of the other ideas, an uncaged blowjob and watching me masturbate, will perhaps work as something special. Neither really fits my idea of a regular reward, but they will be good to keep in mind next time I'll looking for something a little out of the ordinary. Hubby's other suggestions were mostly just different ways to serve me. They all sounded wonderful, and I gained some insight into what makes hubby tick. I'm sure I'll find plenty of opportunities to take advantage of those ideas.
     
  4. MSDB321
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    MSDB321 Long term member

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    Your hubby definitely seems to suffer badly from post orgasm drop. Looks like he has recognised this and has asked you to further restrict his orgasms.
    He has asked for a more permanent lockup so that kind of gives you the green light. A 3 month initial lockup is quite common and one survey showed that a third of men go through a 6 month initial lockup. I suggest that you make it clear to him that he has to wait at least 3 months before you will consider unlocking him and any whining or moaning will lead to additional months being added.
    Not quite sure why you feel you have to reward him. His reward is being granted his wish to be locked and serving you.
    Anyway I am sure you will have fun and enjoy yourself.
     
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  5. latexbound
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    latexbound Locked

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    Thanks for sharing. Beautifully written posts, you're on quite the journey!
     
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  6. BarbCD
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    BarbCD Long term member

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    Thank you for the well written posts above. Very thoughtful and something many of us can relate to.

    I’m glad you moved here from your prior site.
     
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  7. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    " He had come down from the edge, though still breathing hard. I had his full attention, and more importantly his body could reveal the things he might have a hard time saying.." That is a brilliant insight, right there. Thank you. I will definitely be using that. Clever you. Sal.
     
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  8. bitslinger
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    bitslinger Active member

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    Very nice update! Always a pleasure to read about the two of you. I think this was a great place to land.
     
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  9. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    It's a shame that cabergoline isn't easily available. It would stop the spike of prolactin that men get at orgasm and that's what causes the problem.
    https://cabergoline.co/

    As a treat he may really enjoy is applying 5% lidocaine gel under a condom then edge him for about 15 minutes. After 15 minutes you can tell him he is allowed inside and allowed a release. Be ready for a pounding because no matter how hard he tries, he will not be able to get off. He may get close which will make him try harder but he will not make it. Expect him to be sweaty and exhausted when he finally gives up. Just dont get any of the lidocaine on your bits our you will be numb too. You can also allow him a quick shower to wash it off before playing but may want to give him a time limit of 30 minutes before relocking.
     
  10. Sexy Slave 69
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    Sexy Slave 69 Long term member

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    OMG there is so much of your journey that's so similar to ours, thank you for sharing.
     
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  11. bitslinger
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    bitslinger Active member

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    Matthew989 Active member

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    Thanks for detailing your journey - a lovely read!
     
  13. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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  14. madams-sissysub
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    Thanks for sharing,
     
  15. MsPamela
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    MsPamela Long term member

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    That's an interesting question. I'm not thinking of it as a reward for being in chastity. That's definitely more his kink than mine.

    And maybe "reward" isn't quite the right word. Thinking back to our old routine where I regularly teased hubby and let him cum every week or two, his orgasm wound up representing a lot of different things...

    * Pleasure for him, obviously.
    * Pleasure for me in being able to make the man I love happy. Sure, there are lots of different ways to make someone happy, but an orgasm is very concrete and immediate. I loved to see it and hear it.
    * A way for me to say "thank you" when hubby did something out of the ordinary.
    * Something to withhold/delay/tease hubby with. I probably spent more time talking about his orgasm than actually giving him one. Casually letting slip "maybe I'll let you cum tonight" was a great way to wind him up in the middle of the day, and "I changed my mind, maybe tomorrow" was a fantastic way to end the evening.
    * A ritual. Hubby asks to cum even when he's pretty sure I'm not going to allow it. I love hearing him ask. He loves hearing me say "no".

    I'm feeling pretty good about alternatives with respect to pleasure and "thank you". I'm uncertain about the verbal aspects and our little rituals. Perhaps that's what I've felt was missing over the last couple weeks.
     
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  16. nycha
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    nycha Long term member

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    very nice to read how you respond to his Chastity desires.
    To spice things up you could put him in a quandary by letting him only ask for an unlocking when he humilates
    himself in front of you by wearing pink lingerie.
    But when dressed like a girl he´s not allowed to stiff around. He has to keep his cock backwards between his legs secured by panty and pantyhose, maybe an additional girdle.
    Then sometimes you caress his crotch with your feet while he lick you from orgasm to orgasm.
    Enjoy.
     
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  17. gentleman zig
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    original poster doesn't even touch the subject of 'feminizing' , despite multiple lengthy detailed posts... Sounds like projecting, maybe?

    Thank you for sharing, Ms. Pamela, sounds like Your husband is very lucky to have you
     
  18. MsPamela
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    MsPamela Long term member

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    We're about two weeks into hubby's "no orgasm" plan. So far it seems like I'm having more trouble adjusting than he is. I think I've begun to understand why. I've controlled hubby's orgasms for many, many years. But if we take away the orgasms, then what do I control?

    I know that's a silly way to look at it. After two weeks of teasing, hubby's in that zone where he can't stop thinking about me and will obey my every whim. With no orgasm to spoil things, this state should continue for the foreseeable future. I have more control, not less.

    On the other hand, this change has disrupted the myriad of patterns, habits, and rituals that we had evolved over the years. For example, hubby used to ask for permission to cum every time I teased him, regardless of his chances. I loved the power of, and his reaction to, the word "no". It was a ritual that we both enjoyed. But he doesn't ask now and I miss it.

    The times I said "yes" stood out as something special. A little variety. Memorable. There was buildup and growing excitement over days or weeks, punctuated by a big finish. Tension and release, like any good story. That's also been absent recently. Today was just like yesterday, and tomorrow will likely feel the same.

    My error was to try to find a simple replacement for hubby's orgasm, something I could just drop in its place to keep all of those patterns and habits alive. I realize now that we need to evolve some new rituals and a different rhythm. I have a few ideas, and have received a number of very helpful suggestions as well - plenty of material that is ripe for experimentation. But it's going to take a lot of trial and error.

    One of those new ideas is requiring hubby to ask for permission before touching/kissing/worshiping various parts of my body. I haven't really worked out the details, but it seems like fertile ground for a new ritual or two. I might also learn if there's some particular service that hubby craves to perform. Then I'd have a brand new thing to say "no" to, provided it was something I was willing to forego.

    I must confess that I'm a little nervous. Our old routine provided a very comfortable foundation. I would try new things here and there, but I always had something dependably solid underneath. Now it feels unstable, like those early days when I first started denying hubby's orgasms. But I need to keep an open mind. Embracing orgasm denial, as difficult as it was at the time, turned out to be one of the best things I ever did. Perhaps several years from now I'll look back on this change in the same way.
     
  19. Sexy Slave 69
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    Sexy Slave 69 Long term member

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    Perhaps permitting and Erection or unlocking the cage may replace the permission to orgasm for you
     
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  20. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    This is so interesting to read. I am where you were years ago. Just feeling my way with leading the sexual side of our relationship and feeling rather nervous, and yet at the same time realising I need to project confidence because that confidence is a turn on for him. And when I do project that confidence, I find that I'm aroused by the whole scenario. It's confusing! Have you posted anything about how you dealt with that stage? Sal.
     
  21. Chaz69
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    Chaz69 Long term member

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    That is an excellent suggestion. Even without orgasms being on the table, being unlocked and having your penis massaged to an erection is a wonderful feeling. For non-chastity people, that is just foreplay, but one of the first things we do in chastity is reclassify all of the things that used to be "just" foreplay as actual sex.

    One thing you didn't mention was spanking, and I'm not talking about giving him a good thrashing like some folks here, but a somewhat gentle entry-level "funishment" spanking can be very erotic. But you already have pegging as a good "reward", so there is that.

    I don't know how long you can go without an orgasm yourself, but denying access to your pussy, and then granting it as a reward is another possibility. Chaste men LOVE to worship at the pussy altar! Go back to his first list, it was all about pleasuring you, so those things really are rewards to him too.
     
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  22. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    Thank you! One of the reasons I find your posts so interesting and helpful is because they feel like things that My Pete would find exciting and so would I. It's this sense of exploration and fun that's exactly what I'm looking for and I sense that he is too. I am trying to work out what I want and I'm very grateful for your posts. Sal.
     
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  23. MsPamela
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    MsPamela Long term member

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    We've tried different things like that in the past, especially on some of the longer lock ups. There was one locktober I believe where an erection was the reward. It can be hard to find the right balance. I enjoy edging hubby too much to say "no" very often.

    I wrote a lot (100+ posts) about this journey on another site. If there's interest and it isn't against the spirit of this site I can repost some or all of that here.

    I really like the idea of my pussy being a reward. But I'm addicted to my daily orgasms. I tried the denial thing myself once and I was a mess.

    I've thought about letting him please me with his fingers or a vibrator most of the time, and then licking me would be a reward. That might work for a few days, but I doubt I could last a week. I'd miss his tongue too much.
     
  24. MsPamela
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    MsPamela Long term member

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    In the search for new rituals...

    Yesterday, I informed hubby about a new rule: he must ask permission before any contact with my breasts, pussy, or ass. Each requires a separate request, and touching and kissing are two different things. He was puzzled, but happy to do whatever I wished.

    Asking permission felt awkward at first, like we were both stiffly reading from a script:

    "May I touch your breasts?"

    "Yes"

    "Thank you"

    But after a few times it began to feel less artificial, more sincere. Hubby seems to have taken to it, which comes through in the way he asks.

    I also made it clear that this rule applies all the time, not just when we're being intimate. For example, sometimes hubby comes up behind me, presses his body against mine and gives my neck a little nibble or whispers something sweet in my ear. I absolutely adore these gestures throughout the day. But that counts as touching my ass, so he'll either need to ask permission or find some new gestures. I'm curious which he'll settle on.

    Even though I almost always answer "yes", the ritual itself is growing on me. And of course "no" has its own interesting possibilities. It's still pretty early, but I see lots of potential here.
     
  25. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    This is so true. The first thing you learn as a chaste husband is what a joyous privilege it is for your wife to permit an erection.
     
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