Chastity cages and Christianity

That was a really thoughtful post! You obviously put a lot of time into that. I keep re-reading it because there is a lot of good substance. Thank you for bringing clarity to this thread!

 

Religion aside; you’ve just described the 3 pillars of chastity mansion.

1) Those who use this as a Kink
2) Those who self lock as they believe this to be more fruitful lifestyle
3) Those who use it to better their marriage/relationship.

There may be more pillars but I think everyone just about falls into one of those categories.
Sums up why there can be so many perspectives and view points on this site in general

 

In the attachment, I've included the text and notes on the text from the NIV Study Bible for 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8. This text certainly speaks to some of the objectives of chastity for a Christian that I've only recently been striving to fully embrace. The authors mention "chastity" in their notes on the text 4 times.

The 4 reasons or motives for chastity outlined in this text & notes seem to be:

1. to learn self-control over my sexuality
2. to refrain from taking advantage of my wife by cheating on her with another or solo
3. to strive for personal purity
4. to align myself with God's standards for my personal behavior

The big one that Paul, a single man, left out and may not have recognized is the attitude & behavioral change chastity produces in the chaste man.

 

If you’ve read my journey, you might recall that I turned to chastity 24x7 to stop myself from masturbating so that I could try to restore intimacy in my marriage. We had been living a sexless marriage for years especially as I started to have erectile dysfunction. I remember reading Jesus’ comments about lust & adultery in Matt 7 and his suggestion that a man should cut off his hand if it causes him to sin. Chastity has been the practical means for doing that. I was also convicted by Paul’s charge in 1 Corinthians 7 to fulfill my marital duty to my wife. Paul goes on to say in that same passage that my body is not my own but belongs to my wife and I should yield control to her. These passages were the instruments God used to cause me to throw myself at the mercy of my wife, admit my moral failings and ask her to become my KH to teach me self-control and take charge of my sexuality.

It was after that decision that I began to read about the benefits my wife would receive from keeping me locked and denied: I would become a loving, kind, attentive and caring man who would be devoted to meeting her needs and pleasing her. I immediately thought of the following passage of scripture in Ephesians 5:25-28

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.​

The picture in this passage is of sacrificial love. It’s the kind of love pictured in a few war movies where a soldier throws his body on a live grenade to save his mates. In the imagery Paul uses in this passage, Christ’s death on the cross was so that he could purify the Church and form a perfect marriage in beauty and wholeness. I knew that Paul was teaching that husbands should be sacrificial in their actions but never considered that it extended to the sexual experience. But when I read how sexual denial would enable the man to channel his sexual energy into loving care for his partner, I began to see this passage in a whole new light. In my experience, chastity & denial produces rocket fuel in my system that fuels my actions to love her like never before.

But the story of this passage doesn’t end there. Paul says this love cleanses the bride, makes her radiant, without stain or wrinkle, holy and blameless. When I started loving her sacrificially, I began to notice a change in my wife. Within a month, I realized that many of her annoying & frustrating behaviors had seemed to disappear completely. Even my daughters noticed it. Any form of nagging became a thing of the past. Her habit of channeling anger about something towards me stopped. She became self-confident. She no longer felt insignificant. She felt needed in our marriage for the first time. Her feelings of self-worth soared. She became radiant (in my eyes at least). She felt beautiful and believed it.

The changes in her behavior really fully sunk in this weekend. I screwed up a couple of times on Sunday. I did things that should have really annoyed her and put her in a funk at least overnight. In both instances, I apologized right away but I thought one of them might set our relationship back considerably. But she recovered quickly and acted like they were nothing. Yesterday, I thanked her for her forgiveness and asked her how she got over my transgressions so fast as if they never happened. She replied, “I not only have a responsive libido, but I’m now a responsive lover. You have made me feel so loved and happy that I realize those mistakes are not who you are any longer.” I was stunned. Humbled. Relieved. And left wanting to serve her even more.

This passage of scripture had always baffled me somewhat. Paul even says in v 32 that it’s a “profound mystery”. But it’s now starting to make complete sense. I wish I had learned these things at a much younger age.

 

Beautiful update and post, thank you!

 

Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh (bitter, angry, indignant, irritated) with them.

Does that not sound like a man in chastity who regularly makes love to his wife but is frequently denied his own pleasure?

I can count on one finger the number of times I've been irritated with my wife in the past 6 months. We were watching TV together on the sofa and she had just put polish on her nails and was avoiding me. I became resentful not realizing why she was avoiding me.

I remember feeling this way towards her just a little when we were first dating. But I could always go home and pleasure myself to relieve the tension. This is light years beyond that.

 

I meant feeling so in love with her that all I could think about was pleasing her. During our courtship, that feeling was limited. Now, it's almost endless.

 

A culture where women trade burkas for male chastity cages? Probably get a price on our heads for even talking about this!

 

I just want to go on record here and say that I, too, am a Christ-follower. I am encouraged that there are others on this site that share our faith and struggle to work out their salvation with fear (respect) and trembling as the Bible instructs. I am very concerned that I don’t cross any lines that would dishonor the God who ransomed me. My wife and I are in agreement that our sexual acts will be confined to our marriage bed and will be between only us. For that reason certain kinks are not open to us as we attempt to follow God’s sexual ethic for us.
That being said, I by no means am without sin. I have struggled with porn, unfaithful fantasies, and the like. In fact no matter our faith or intentions, we do everything with mixed motives. Yes, chastity is part of the sexual ethic I claim to follow, yet I pursue wearing my device for earthly reasons (it turns me on). There is a continuing fight going on within me (Romans 7) between my earthly and higher reborn self (this is the working out part). The good news of the gospel is that for those of us who have received His substitutionary work on our behalf on the cross, our sin no longer keeps us separated from His love.
With this in mind, I also know that sexual pleasure (which is a pleasure we will only know on earth and be experienced only in our bodies) is blessed by God within the bounds of His sexual ethic for us. Therefore I feel no struggle with sin in the loving arms of my wife and Mistress (and when I say Mistress I don’t mean “dom” I mean a woman of power and authority, the great Lady of my house). She is a Proverbs 31 woman and we have a Song of Solomon love story!

 

I'd say introduced as option 1 but has since become option 3.

 

I have every confidence that god approves of my chaste cock while my husband is pumping his seed in me. I'm sure it's in there somewhere next to the bit that says you're not allowed to wear wool on a Tuesday or something.

 

Awesome to hear! Thanks for sharing.

 

When I first started using MC, I was really attracted to sites focused on chastity like this forum where men are espousing living a chaste lifestyle in pursuit of loving their partners sacrificially. I was shocked to find this purpose in and among those who are in pursuit of kink. And I had no idea that chastity could produce hormones that would help change and fuel a man to become a loving servant of his partner. This intrigued me and I was grateful I had stumbled into it. I realized that these were principles espoused by my Christian faith but I didn’t know how to put them into practice in a practical way, particularly in the bedroom.

One specific example where Jesus affirmed and elevated the concept of chastity can be found in Matthew 19. It’s here that he gets in a discussion with the Pharisees (religious leaders of his time) about divorce. There were some who interpreted the Old Testament law to say a man could divorce his wife if she displeased him. Jesus struck that down while hinting at his deity by saying that the only valid reason for a divorce is marital infidelity. Here’s the passage:

Matthew 19:3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” 10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

As you’ll note, even his followers (“disciples”) struggled with Jesus’ restrictive view on divorce. The Jewish culture at the time treated women like second class citizens. If you spend time studying Jesus’ interactions with women, you’ll find that he did not share that view and elevated women in a special way.

But notice Jesus’ comments at the end of the exchange about Eunuchs. He elevates those “who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.” This had always seemed like an odd topic for Jesus to insert into this conversation, but in light of my insight into the chaste life now, it seems much more natural. It appears that Jesus is taking the conversation from the extreme of divorcing your wife if she displeases you to the complete oppositie and focusing your life on pleasing others, including your wife. I have to admit, though, I'm not quite ready to part with my balls and the testosterone they produce!

Even though many of you don’t share my Christian faith, I applaud you for living like eunuchs for the sake of your partner. You’ve helped me find a greater oneness and connectedness with my wife. And I hope you might one day consider the claims of the man from Galilee who seeks a personal relationship with you.

 

Great expository! I have been thinking along similar lines with a modified FLR. Based on Jesus’ teaching on leadership, the greatest among us are great servants. Our pastors have always taught us that the man is the head of the home…the head servant! In our marriage, my approach has always been if it doesn’t violate God’s law then my wife pretty much gets anything she wants. That’s the only thing I won’t compromise on. My Queen and I see eye to eye on this point, and we keep each other accountable. That’s how our dynamic works, and she is starting to take advantage of it in the bedroom! We have prayed for years that God would “make our later years better than our former years” and He has answered that prayer; but honestly I never thought that sex would get this good. We are burning hot with passion for one another in our elder years! God is good!

 

I found your post very helpful. I pray that the purpose of my chastity is to manifest a greater oneness with my wife. I fall from that ideal at times. But that’s true with everything.

Thank you!

 

This is also an extremely helpful post. Thank you.

 

And I would welcome further discussion offline if you deemed appropriate.

 

Finally the discourse has turned useful and interesting. The topic IS “Chastity AND Christianity”. Not, “I feel it’s a bad topic because I’m a non believer.” The non believers are sweeping away the topic. The non believer should begin their own thread called “Chastity and atheism”. We believers promise not to invade your thread.

 

It's cute that you can search the Bible for verses that seem to fit with the interpretation you are looking for. I applaud you all for that. Keep taking the good bits of the Bible and ignore the rest. That's the best thing you can do. The world would be a safer place if that's what every deist was doing.

You are a small minority however. Never forget the billions of women who have been and still are treated as second class citizens around the world in the name of religion all because someone else has a different interpretation of their origin story.

Even in the most advanced societies, today women and other minority groups struggle for equality.

You are preaching to the converted here. Go out into your communities and demand your churches, your synagogues, your temples and your mosques throw out their poisonous views and preach the truth.

Women are equal if not better than us mere mortals.....And we should bloody well do as they say or else!

Anyway...If Jesus was born through parthenogenesis, he must have been a she. It's the only scientific evidence for immaculate conception. Should have been Jessica Christ, not Jesus Christ.

 

Spoke too soon Lazlo. Honestly though, spread the word. I would rather work with people, in the end the goal is about the same. I may be an atheist, but I'm still interested in deism. I think I have a worthwhile contribution to the debate and try to put my view respectfully.

 

As for being a bad topic, I don't agree... it just started getting interesting again.

 

Some years ago a Christian friend took me for a drink in the pub. I think it was his last ditched attempt at convincing me to join the Rebel Alliance. We had a meaningful and amiable chat over our beers and when it became quite clear to him that I was a lost cause he said, exasperated but with a genuine smile.

"I suppose you think I'm some sort of idiot?"

I laughed of course unable to hide my thoughts completely, but answered.

"Nooo! It's not like that. I know you to be a smart guy, and there are a lot of really smart people out there who think the same as you. Why they do believe, and why I did, but no longer do is what raises the most interesting and difficult questions of all."

 

It has become a bit of a Bible study which has taken this discussion to another level.

I'm imagining @littleguy3 taking his newfound knowledge to his next Bible study group meeting. It is his turn to lead this week....

"So I wanted to talk about being faithful to your wife...Not talking about playing away, of course you wouldn't... I'm talking about self play " lots of eyes shift downward.

"So come on...who masturbates? Be honest?" A few hands go up.

Then you're in. The discussion moves to the scriptures, then you look at practical ways of preventing it. Hey presto! The word spreads and before you know it the church would be encouraging not just chastity but the means of achieving it.

Just saying!

 

It seems to me in the Bible there are two testaments old and new anything in the Old is history and as far as christians are concerned it pertains to both the jews and the past so you being christians you can ignore all that much of which is confusing clap-trap. All of mankind is supposedly descendant from the sons of adam and eve. Think about that for as long as you want and then focus on the book of your own religion. The new testament. Which as far as I can make out from the various and myriad ramblings of numerous senior god-botherers is all open to interpretation so interpret it the way that suits you best and get on with your life.

 

Let’s be respectful everyone…our enemies are not flesh and blood. My hope is that we learn from one another and I for one have learned a great deal about my kink by listening to the discussions here on CM. Let’s not let our site deteriorate into another Twitter or Facebook. Let’s be an example to the others. Kinky people have always been very accepting of one another!