Chastity cages and Christianity

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Guest 3944, May 13, 2021.

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  1. Guest 3944
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    So, I been thinking....

    There is a lot of debate around CM (dare I call it mass debate) about chastity cages being a tool, a kink, and whether it should be introduced and accepted as just a sex toy, or how and when or if it could or should be something that could be mainstream, or will forever be viewed as just deviant fetish stuff.

    I tried to include the various words commonly used in the many posts on here to show respect for however you view your chastity lifestyle and your avenue chosen, FLR, BDSM, etc.

    First and foremost, I will say, this is just statements of documented fact. I am not here to judge, or take away anyone's free will that every person has been granted, and their choice to use, or misuse it however they choose.

    Apologies in advance, should something I write strike a chord with you that upsets you, because that is the farthest from my intent. Please know that if it strikes you wrong, that's not how I meant it. This should be all embracing, from atheist to extreme religious people.

    Yes, I do read the bible. Don't hate on me if you don't, don't be denominational curious if you do. Just please read and meditate. There are many schools of thought as to interpretation of scripture, so I will be careful to pose questions only, except where scripture is written exactly off the pages.

    The exact Greek text in the New Testament, NT, word for word translated in English at:

    Colossians 3:5 says,
    "Deaden you therefore the members the upon the earth....." It goes in to list attitudes and sexual practices that the Bible condemns.

    I am not going to judge what anyone else does. I am pointing simply to the beginning of the passage. The word "deaden" and "your members".

    The question I asked myself is, Is God saying here to mentally and/or physically block or deaden myself? If my chastity cage might be deemed deviant behavior or a kink, could it actually be the opposite?

    Could it be something God would actually WANT me to do, if I am having issues and habits that I need to curb that would enhance my marriage, which is also pleasing to God? Would blocking access to our "member", in effect, be "deadening it", and wouldn't that be the Christian thing to do?

    So is it really deviant, a kink, a fetish? Maybe, but wait...... Could it actually be something everyone should be doing, since many have found it to improve the bond with their wife?

    I bring this up because people have a faith, yet some would maintain that since a chastity cage is a "sex toy", the "holier than thou" bible thumper may in his own self glorification, laud himself a Christian, and say that a chastity cage isn't something a "Christian" would use.

    I heartily disagree. OK I said no opinions, just meditative questions, but, I digress. There is a thought that if you asked for a show of hands, and ask all masturbators in the audience to raise their hands, 90% would admit they did, the other 10% are liars.

    There is a good chance that your bible thumper, that says a chastity device is not proper for a "Christian", probably masturbates, which makes him....a hypocrite. Geez, I hate hypocrites.

    Just saying.

    Again, this is not a religious thread in any way. But I am betting there are people on her that claim themselves as Christians. You, like me, may have gone thru the mental process of reconciling your cage and your belief system.

    So this is for you, and for anyone who, also like me, is not into kink, but as many here have expressed, want to honor their love, curb a bad habit, or rejoice in ecstacy with his wife.

    It really is for everyone. We all would like to see chastity cages on the shelf at CVS or Walgreens (USA) or Boots (UK), right next to the condoms and lubricants that are on a regular aisle rack now, that weren't in the past.

    At the very least, could we get them on CVS dot com or Walgreens dot com? You could put them with the dildos vibrators and penis pumps, that are ALREADY ON THERE. Whoda thunk it?!?!?

    The day will come. Likely before I do. Lol.

    Thanks for listening. I am just sick and tired of the feeling of, is this right or wrong, deviant or kink, or fetish or whatever people want to call it. Chastity caging is cool. Ok, another opinion, but one I am sure you agree with.

    Peace, love and lock!!!
    4everlock

    I'm Out. Your thoughts?

    PS: I'm done here unless someone direct messages. Also, no haters, please. I did this to unite, not divide. Remember, peace , love and lock.
     
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  2. Brian Jenkins
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    I think you’re on to something brother. I’m a devout Christian also. A Minister in fact. I appreciate you sharing that verse. I’ll have to ponder that. I definitely think chastity can help curb sexual sin and improve a marriage. My wife and are into kink. But I see her rules as helping me to be a better husband and Christian. Not checking out women. Never watching porn or seeing a woman naked. Never masturbating. Etc. I don’t think chastity and kink in general is inherently evil or sinful. Good post brother.
     
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  3. Guest 3944
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    Thanks. I am one of those people that believe in the traditional or as some call, old fashioned, values.

    I believe that what a man and wife do in the privacy of their home, alone between the two of them, that is mutually acceptable, is God's gift.

    He said to be in a state ecstacy with your wife, drunk(metaphorically) on her breasts. Does that sound like a God who is prudish? I think not. But that's just me....and Solomon. But what does he know? He only had.....1,000 women!!!

    I lied. I said I wouldn't post, and I just did. My bad. Doh!
     
  4. Hubby&Missy
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    I am far from an authority on Christianity but I think the only things regarding sex that God was specific on were we need to honor our spouse and prostitution is wrong. Some churches go further such as Catholic doctrine does not allow contraception.
     
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  5. HusbandX
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    There's no debate here about the nature of chastity; there are many reasons and many ways to practice. There's no debate at all here about "is this right or wrong." It appears that the conflict exists within the original poster. A better question might be for each to ask, "what is right for me?"

    It sounds as though the original poster feels some degree of guilt and is looking for either absolution or justification.

    The King James version of Colossians 3:1-11 reads:

    "If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things of the earth. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in Glory.
    "Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetness, which is idolatry: for which things sake, the wrath of god cometh on the children of disobedience in the which ye also walked some time when ye lived with them.
    But now ye also put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. Lie not to one another ,seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him: where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision or uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all and in all."


    It helps to read the verse in context. Paul's letter to the Colossians has a straight-forward message: put off earthly things in favor of a higher way of doing things. The phrase "mortify your members," can be understood a bit better by referencing Romans 8:13:

    "For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die; but if ye through the spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live."

    Look also at Romans 6:13, which states:

    "Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin, but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteous unto God."

    The original post seems to suggest that the deeds of the body are masturbation, and that "your members" refers to the penis. Paul did not say that. The language speaks to a larger picture, which can be boiled down to living free of sin. Paul is not specific, but references anger, wrath, malice, etc. He also invokes fornication, uncleanness, and inordinate affection, or inappropriate relations.

    From a Christian perspective, Chastity is considered a higher way of living, though it should be noted that the sexual kink of chastity is something different. It's neither good nor bad. There are numerous reasons why people may practice chastity. Some might do it to prevent themselves from masturbation, because they feel masturbation to be wrong, or because they feel they masturbate too much. Others may do it because it arouses them. Others as a token of obedience, and yet others see it symbolically, much like a wedding ring (with, or without the wedding).

    Chastity can be in many forms. Chastity does not necessarily infer abstinance from orgasm or release, or sexual contact. One who is true to his or her partner, and engages in sexual relations with that person only, for example, may live a chaste life, and may wear a cage or not, during the interim when no having sexual relations with the partner. In turn, there are many ways to have sexual relations with that partner which might range from intercourse to mutual masturbation to any number of tantric practices. Christian doctrine, without regard to secular interpretation, is that God ordained sexuality as a good and wholesome practice in the right context, not something of which one should be ashamed.

    It's also clear that the sexual practices of today are little different than ancient times; what goes on now, went on then. Nothing new.

    Paul's teaching points to the continual theme of laying down the body in favor of the spirit. Christ taught that adultery was with the body; sexuality out of context. He taught that there was a higher law, that if a man looked to a woman with lust, he'd already committed adultery with her, in his heart. As a man thinks, he is. That's the core of the higher law. The letters to the Romans and to the Collosians are alike; put off natural inclinations in favor of higher thought, and a higher way of living.

    I don't see any debate here about whether chastity is right or wrong. The bible constantly refers to chastity being of a higher nature. It's a principle of Christianity, in fact. It's taken to extremes with some who entirely abstain, and is practiced in a spectrum that ranges from locking to the honor system. It could be said that a man who is apart from his wife and lacks for sexual release, might wear a cage to prevent his straying in deed. Or his wife might direct him to masturbate as relief; perhaps he imagines her in his heart, and thus honors her. There's nothing untoward about that; even his act of release at her direction is chaste. As he thinks in his heart, so is he, and his dedication is to her. Or she might forbid him, and he obeys. There is nothing doctrinally that prevents, forbids, or directs between the man and wife in that regard; the bible, after all, says that "marriage hides a multitude of sins."

    it's up to each person to find his or her path. We are all granted free agency to "work out our salvation," or simply put, to follow our conscience.

    When Christ stopped the stoning of a woman by turning the killers to their own conscience (let him who is without sin cast the first stone), he asked the woman where her accusers were. Christ told her, "Neither do I accuse you. Go your way and sin no more." He didn't offer absolution, but taught a principle, one that revolved around the free agency to determine our own path. Stop accusing others, he taught, and focus on your own path. Each of us walks a different path. If you feel you are on the wrong path, it's up to you to find the right one. If chastity with a cage is your tool to get there, so be it. There's more than one path. How you practice your sexuality is not for me or others to judge.
     
  6. LukeVallentine
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    IMO, if a person believes in certain religious tenets, this person should be ready for potential consequences of certain behavior this religion looks down upon.
    AFAIK, Christianity at least in classical sense, does not approve many aspects of fetishistic lifestyle, such as FLR, non-vaginal sex, etc.
    Guess we all will find out the day we die.
     
  7. Guest 3944
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    HusbandX. As I mentioned, I wasn't opening up a religious debate. I can appreciate your biblical knowledge. I do know bible well. That may actually be an understatement. I could take on just about anyone in debate. But I am not here to brag.

    I was simply correlating a bible principle that relates to turning our mind and body away from unacceptable practices. I would like to think that God would like us to think.

    He gave us power of reason so that we could read, meditate and make application in our life of that which honors Him.

    He wrote scripture in such a magnificent way that, depending on your circumstances in life at any given time, that you can read the same words and they can take on new or different meaning, and provide positivity on multiple levels.

    I am simply trying to relate to those who have a measure of spirituality in their lives that may think of how chastity caging reconciles with it.

    Religion, spirituality and the Bible seem to polarize people. So I was attempting to avoid that by taking something simple that could be related to chastity, for those that may wonder about its potential connection, and make it a thought to ponder.

    I wrote the post to give some a chance to reflect on the good that chastity caging can bring, all that is noble, good, right and altruistic.

    You said,
    "It sounds as though the original poster feels some degree of guilt and is looking for either absolution or justification."

    I feel no guilt nor am I looking for absolution or justification, not from your or God, or angone else. You may have taken it a bit further than it was intended.

    It was for a moment of personal reflection, on the various ways that caging can be viewed in an honorable way, and it being more than a kink, something with reql substance and value, not a debate of biblical context.

    Remember, I didn't write answers, I wrote questions. I did not directly interpret the scripture, I asked, could it be? When a person extracts knowledge and value from scripture, and it is slightly different from another person, but doesn't violate truth, then both are right.

    I wasn't going to spend time doing cross referencing and posting more information, because it wouldn't be relevant to the essence of what the singular verse, whether or not it is taken out context, has for the one reading it and his circumstance.

    Here on CM, all roads lead to chastity caging. So I was merely pointing out a thought related to that, subjective as you may think it to be.

    Crap, I posted again.

    But I just wanted to make clear that I was not looking past the simple essence of thought regarding the subject of caging.
     
  8. HusbandX
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    You sure? Because that's exactly what you're doing.

    If you intend to debate, then you don't understand scripture. Neither can anything ever be proven by it: any argument can be made using scripture and supported by it, and it can be twisted and turned any way possible. I couldn't care less about the arguments, nor will I make them. But you are bragging.

    "He" didn't write scripture. What you quoted was written by Paul/Saul. Not God. In fact, the entire bible is an amalgum of materials voted on and put together by pagans. Guess which one you intend to believe. The Council of Nicaea did.

    You speak in absolutes and make assumptions not in evidence. You opened the thread explaining that there is a lot of debate about chastity cages and their nature here. There's really no debate. You went on to state that your own statement is fact. It wasn't, and isn't.

    Now you state that all roads here lead to caging. Entirely untrue. In fact many go without a cage.

    When you speak in absolutes and then assert it as fact, when it's neither fact nor true, you isolate and exclude all that doesn't fit the mould or world you've attempted to create.
     
  9. Guest 3944
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    #9 Guest 3944, May 13, 2021
    Last edited: May 13, 2021
    Ok. I'm done. The reason for this post was not biblical hair splitting.

    Also, this was for the people who actually believe the bible was written by God, THRU men.

    The Council of Niacea is what was from men who decided to rewrite Christianity, headed up by Mister Amalgam himself, Pope Constantine.

    I didn't state facts. I asked questions for personal contemplation. The only "fact" is that I did a word for word translation from Greek to english.

    One more fact. This is not supposed to be a religious discussion, it's about chastity caging. I chose 3 words from the Bible, just 3. You reprinted a dozen verses, which was not the intent of this post. While I agree that context is important, that would be more suited to a RELIGIOUS DEBATE, which this post IS NOT.

    Trust me, I am not bragging. If I was, I would have started a religious counterpoint debate and quoted a dozen bible verses and claim contextual inaccuracy. But it was not the purpose of the post. So why would anyone do that.

    I ask please, can we get back to chastity caging. That is what I wanted to talk about.
     
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  10. Anonoman
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    This is an good question and some long-read replies which I need some time to go though...
    My 2p worth is that the bible gives relevant advice at different levels and times - right through from the uneducated of thousands of years ago right through to today’s modern society. It’s almost unique in this aspect.
    There also some real head-scratcher concepts e.g. we can’t scientifically prove or disprove religion but have to take it in blind faith (if we so choose). We can’t do an act of charity without some self gratification. I personally don’t believe there is any absolute right or wrong or good or evil only shade between the two. Perhaps if to abstain sexually could be done on willpower alone, for religious purposes, then this would be preferable to using a device? Like having faith without proof when your faith is tested to the absolute limit? Whilst others will use a device for their own self gratification or in the belief of gratification for others... or use no device at all... Ultimately our relationship with God, if we have faith, and ourselves is personal and we have choice in the way that we do that.
     
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  11. Ron33
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    I basically agree with everything you said. Masturbation is something that nearly all married men struggle with. The habit develops before marriage and is difficult to stop once married.

    The Bible also says that when you get married, you are supposed to put away "childish" things, I have wondered if that meant masturbation.

    I think male chastity is not about having sex with your spouse, but it is about cutting down or eliminating masturbation. I think most wives would be shocked to know how often their husband is actually doing it. If they did, most males would be locked up for sure and those devices might be seen in the stores next to condoms.

    I also believe the original purpose of circumcision was to cut down on masturbation by removing the soft foreskin. At least makes it a bit more difficult.
     
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    Do as you will so no harm falls on others.
    The Afterlife will take care of itself.
     
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  13. Lazlo Toth
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    It sounds like you and the original poster sort of agree. But please do not allow me to put words into anyone's mouth.

    I'd paraphrase the original post to say, "Might chastity be a kink that God can actually approve of?"

    And I'd paraphrase your response as, "yes".

    Am I far off here?
     
  14. Lazlo Toth
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    I love your post. It shows some deep thinking.

    But I gotta ask.......Do you REALLY believe that murder, for example, isn't unequivocally wrong? There are shades of gray on murder? The very foundation of faith is that there IS an absolute right and wrong. Sure, there ARE shades of gray in a zillion things. But I am pretty sure that even a secular person would agree that intentionally stepping on a baby's head and popping it like a zit is absolutely wrong.

    Faith isn't what we say it is, it's what God says it is. We all have free will to exercise it or not. But we are not free to define it.
     
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    It’s a very strong argument and impossible to defend. But to challenge any idea you have to go to extremes to see if it still holds true... As we’re talking very hypothetically, I’d ask how any human could do such a thing unless having first suffered unimaginable cruelty and injustice themselves. That said, two wrong don’t make a right. Don’t get me wrong, I’d be unable to ‘turn the other cheek’ with far less provocation. Can there be redemption from cold-bloody taking a life? Ether as the perpetrator or executioner?

    Alternately can we say that there is pure good? May be easier to think about. Personally I think Stephen Fry summed it up pretty well!

    I have to reminded my self of Pascal's wager quite a bit. If there is a Day of Reckoning, I hope that’s enough.
     
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  16. cagedfellow
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    The story of the Bible is that Adam and Eve was created perfect on the eye of God. They both became sinner in their flesh.

    The old testament exist to show to the mankind that nothing can be done to reverse the curse. The consequences are that we die.

    God choose the Jew to represent Himself through the centuries. but Jews were sinners too. They build rules to try to be perfect but they failed all the way through.

    The Gospel seal the deal by the death of a perfect man. So the sins has been paid.

    So, actions we do is not important if there is no faith.

    And homosexuality is a terrible sin in the eye of God has much has lie, robery and such. We are guilty whatever we are straight, homosexual or such.

    We are not saved or approved by our actions or activities, we are approved by a act of Faith of believing the Gospel.

    We are human being is process of learning things in our terribly short life. But the only thing God will ask you after your death, What did you do about my Son.

    For those who are atheist, it sounds boring and frustrating.

    But none of us has been able to demonstrate the existence or the non-existance of God. The difference is the Book by itself, witch is remarkably fullfil of wise principles and specifically state that God is God and he exist.

    Few books on earth mention such authority.

    So is chastity is good or bad? It's not important. All those things will soon end unfortunately for us. And it is not our kink nor our attitude that will give us a ticket for heaven. That's the Faith we had about the Gospel.
     
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  17. Peter Rabbit
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    I am well read and educated in one of the Christian Bibles. We won’t discuss denomination or details.

    I think the OP has found a part of his teachings that help communicate his advocation for male chastity. It’s great to find places to share common ground in terms that other people with his similar background can relate to.

    There are other faiths and societies as well:
    Brahmacharya in Indian religions, Taoism in Chinese philosphy and religion, etc. These aren’t about chastity per se, but talk about ejaculation frequency.

    I think it’s all great.
     
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  18. Lazlo Toth
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    Again, you say a lot of good things. I really like your reference to Pascal's Wager. You truly "get it."

    But keep in mind, I am not talking about forgiveness or repentance. I am talking about right or wrong. Squashing the baby's head is wrong. It doesn't matter what happened in their childhood. It's wrong. It might be their motivator....but it's wrong. Would you agree?
     
  19. Isopropylforyou
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    Peace, Love and Lock.

    You really need to put that on a shirt and sell it.

    That is really cleaver.

    Iso.
     
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  20. cagedfellow
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    #20 cagedfellow, May 14, 2021
    Last edited: May 14, 2021
    What is right or what is wrong has to come from absolute to have a consensus. If not, what is "pure good" will drift through the time.

    In Rome time, pedophilia was normal and accepted. Today, it's reasonable to be disgusted by it. Because some absolute came through the early years of the Occidental world.

    The Bible is a book who defined mostly clearly the right from the wrong. It also defines that without love, anything you do is useless.

    So, to define right or wrong cannot come from the individual. It has to come from authority and be accepted by the people.

    There is good/bad that seams logical today but have been complete heresy in the past.

    What we consider good/bad today didn't come from humanism but Christianity.

    But all in all, the mankind moral always drifted without strong boundaries. And what makes people adopt a paradigm is by Faith.

    Science can't defined what is good or bad. It can only explain how the world works.

    Is Chastity and control good? Well, I believe that the Bible won't give you answer to that because it doesn't exist for that purpose (defined what to do good or bad). Bible is there to show mankind that they can't be saved by good/bad action but by accepting the Gospel.

    What is the difference before and after Adam and Eve eat the fruit? The knowledge of good/bad... funny isn't it? But human kind never been wired to manage that. That's what the Bible tell. It teaches how the human heart is tortuous and nothing can be done to cure it. it's a another matter above from our conversation. It's not about what you do now if it is good/bad. It's useless if you don't have faith to the Gospel.
     
  21. Lazlo Toth
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    You make a brilliant statement here: "So, to define right or wrong cannot come from the individual. It has to come from authority and be accepted by the people."

    I'd like to clarify it. Since right or wrong cannot come from an individual, that authority must be from SOMETHING other than individuals. That is, people.

    It isn't US who determine that squashing the baby's head is wrong. If it were, right and wrong would eventually lose all meaning.

    There is a certain city in the USA where it is ILLEGAL to circumcise a baby. But you can kill it legally as long as you suck it out of the vagina moments before it would have come out on its own. That's what happens if "right and wrong" are determined by man.
     
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  22. Petey
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    Who would have thought I'd find a theological discussion about good and evil on this site?... I love it.
    I am a Christian who was sadly addicted to porn and found chastity as a fetish through my porn habit. But I slowly found out the benefits of the cage. It helped end my masturbation habit and focused me on my wife more than the porn!
    To summarize my position based on my biblical convictions, I'd say that chastity and most sex toys are fun toys that can be used inside a healthy marriage without need for any guilt. God gave man and woman to each other to help each other and enjoy each other. However, as the OP referenced Colossians 3, we need to be on guard not to fall into other sins of the flesh as a result. (For example, I'm not judging, but threads like "chastity leading to cuckolding" would be an example. Chasity in a healthy marriage - ok. Chastity leading to sexual fulfillment outside of marriage - pretty clearly adultery according to the bible. So if you're trying to remain a faithful christian but realize the cage is tempting you into other sins, its probably best to steer clear.)
    Thanks for this post and the thoughtful replies so far!
     
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  23. HusbandX
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    The discussion or right or wrong in a religious setting begs the question of morality without God; can any agreement on what is moral, exist without invoking God to establish what it might be?

    So long as we have free agency, then the only place on that sliding scale of morality is at the individual level, or within an organization of individuals who have agreed upon that standard. The standard will differ between organizations or cultures; what one considers moral and right, another will consider an abomination.

    The appeal to God is often an appeal to what the individual, culture, or organization calls "God," or presumes to know about "God."

    Far too often, presumptions about what "God" wants are used as pretext to control, enslave, direct, command, order, or instill fear. Don't do this, or God will smite you. Do that, or God will hate you. If you don't think, believe, act, preach, practice, or do this, God won't save you. Do whatever you you want, but "confess" the name of God is xxx, and you're saved, no matter what you do. Lots of ideas, nothing to back them. One might be right, but certainly not all. That none are right is a distinct possibility, too.

    Many years ago, I sat on the porch of a retired preacher, having a lemonade. The conversation turned to religious topics, and I enquired about baptism for the dead. He said no such thing existed. I pointed out that it's cited as a practice, in the bible. He assured me that after 50 years of professing the bible, it was not. He handed me a bible, and I turned to the reference. He read it, tore the page from his bible and tossed it over the railing. "It's not found in my bible," he said. By golly, he was right. Not any more, any way.

    Pick a subject and it can be argued either way, completely opposed directions, by the bible. This, despite Christs admonition to not argue (agree with them while they are in the way, with you) on religious topics. Likewise, morality may be cited in any number of ways by what is in the bible, or any of the translations and iterations. Those who claim authority seldom have anything to back up that authority. Just a claim. So again, morality comes down to the admonition of James, who said, if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God.

    Bottom line, if you choose to believe in God, then what you believe, and what you practice, and your morality, if in fealty to God (whatever you conceive him or her to be), must be. between you and god. Not between you and man. What man prescribes isn't morality. It's opinion. It might be law. But it's not morality. Morality rests with the individual, who must make his or her peace with God, and what the bible (a collection of letters and poetry voted into an anthology by a pagan conference, who picked and chose among various works, rejecting some, adding others) can be used to justify or placate, but little more.

    Paul's letters were written by a man, not by God, and compiled by those who were neither Jew nor Christian; a foreign body or pagans headed by a man with an interest in political control, and a curiosity about Christianity. Reference them if you find them useful, but never excuse your own responsibility to determine your morality, based on someone else. It will always remain your responsibility to determine what is right and wrong, and where your boundaries lie, regardless of church, nation, culture, politics, peer pressure, or other influence.

    From a Christian context, biblically speaking, Chastity is considered more spiritually pure, to a point.

    I will say this, without invoking God or the bible or christianity; when I first undertook to be chaste in the sense of refraining from any sexual release, from pictures or stories or other influences, in coordination with my wife, I was quite amazed at what I found. I felt freedom that I'd never experienced. It was if I saw color for the first time. I was able to focus more deeply on my writing. I was able to study more. I slept better, and longer. I felt that I had more energy, and that I wasn't chained to what never really left the stage of my mind: sex.

    Urges and desires and drives did not vanish, and indeed they may have become stronger. But I likened it to jumping out of an airplane: There is trepidation prior to going out the door, but once there, once the safety of the airplane is no longer present, freedom exists. No longer hindered by what-if's, once the decision has been made and committed, it opens up a whole new world, and for me, that was the first few weeks of chastity.

    I don't view chastity in my life as a permanent thing. It's just not possible with what I do, and who I am. I'm married. I travel extensively, and the environments and places make life wearing a cage quite impossible. But chastity is a sliding scale, much like morality; it doesn't simply mean one thing. For some, it might be the extended wearing of a cage. For another, chastity may not involve a cage at all. For some it may mean no sexual release, and for another, only sexual release with one's partner, or at his or her direction. For some it may be a personal journey, without a partner, and for others, it may be entirely at the direction of a partner, or any place in between. The bible will not say that any of these is right or wrong. For me, chastity is the calm between turbulence, the ride between stations, a journey that is not in a straight line, that happens at different times and places, and that is seldom the same twice, even in a given day.

    Chastity causes no harm. It may be a fetish for excitement. It may be a control. It may be a spiritual token. It may be a sign of indenture or servitude. It may be a symbol of a union, or a sign of loyalty, or a gift. It may be a restriction or a prison. It maybe a ritual leading to something else. It may be whatever the wearer, or the partner of the wearer, or both, decide it should be, could be, would be, or is. It evokes emotion, restricts emotion, rewards, punishes, restricts, emboldens, or gives freedom, sometimes all in the same day, sometimes none of those things, sometimes all, or sometimes just one thing at a time to one person, but not another. Which is right or wrong? Only the individual may say.

    Sexuality is a gift, a freedom, a curse, a restriction, a duty, a responsibility, a privilege. Maybe all. maybe a little of each at any given time. The best I can say, and I say often, is that what I know today I knew yesterday, but today I know it differently. My understanding changes, my views evolve. Were it not so, I'd be dead, and one day will be, whether this afternoon, tomorrow, or a decade from now, and no one will care if I wore a cage or not. No brownie points will be given. My personal belief is that while my body will be cremated and scattered, my spirt, what is really me, goes on, and everything I learned in my sojourn here, I take with. That may include lessons learned in chastity, too. We are the product of our choices, and chastity is a choice. Nothing in the bible supports it. Nothing condemns, but ourselves. If we choose to believe in God, then our choices are between us and God, and our own conscience, which is the only evidence of morality that we can offer.

    Right or wrong? You decide. No one else has that right.
     
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  24. Ring45
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    Bookmarked
     
  25. true42
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    As someone who has lost unborn children, I find your post to be misleading propaganda, hurtful, and terribly unhelpful.

    For clarification: Very, very, very few abortions are used as a means of contraception past the first nine weeks. (Just so you know where I'm coming from, I consider myself pro-life, and I personally would not approve that abortion is ever used for the purpose of contraception, but it would be absolutely inappropriate for me to push my likely-religiously-based ideas about when life begins onto another person who is actually responsible for carrying that baby. This isn't the Spanish inquisition. This isn't a theocracy.)

    Most women who have an abortion after 9 weeks are doing so because they are losing the baby, for one reason or another. And now I am crying inside just remembering what losing a baby feels like.

    Please keep your judgmental comments to yourself; this is a horrible topic on which to push your twisted view of moralism onto others. Seriously, what you said is evil and cruel; keep those thoughts to yourself, where they are not doing untold harm to others.
     
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