Zero to 60 overnight

Thanks!

 

Day 12

Last night, we went to a local winery for a tapas and wine pairing dinner. Had a very enjoyable time with friends. When we got home and were getting ready for bed, she asked if we should remove my cage for the night. I was flustered not expecting anything like that and kept talking about whatever our conversation before that had been about. She repeated the question two more times and then I finally said "Of course that would be great!" By now, she was doubting that I wanted to be released so I tried my best to convince her that I did. However, I thought thru the implications and the erections I would have in the middle of the night. She asked "You wouldn't touch yourself, would you?" I had to be honest and admit the tempation would likely be too much. "You'd pleasure yourself?" "No of course not" was my reply. But I'm not sure she believed me. I told her I would roll over and snuggle with her until things subsided but she got the message that this would be sleep disruptive for her. This fully nixed the idea of releasing me despite my pleas.

She then proceeded to climb all over me and kiss me passionately. She got into her old preferable position for PIV, something she hadn't done in several years. Without the ability to penetrate her while under lock and key, I was going nuts.

It wasn't long before she was done, rolled over, turned out the light and said goodnight. I laid awake for a long while staring at the ceiling and throbbing. After finally falling asleep, I awoke several more times during the night hornier than hell and was awake a good 45 min before she woke up. When she woke up, I jumped up and started the coffee machine knowing I would need a lot of java to get me thru the long day ahead. I made sure we kept cuddle time short and non-sexual because I just couldn't handle any more teasing!

 

Day 14

We went away over night Saturday night for an event at an out-of-town vineyard & winery. We arrived at our hotel a little early hoping to lay by the pool in the afternoon. Our room was quite ready so we grabbed our suits out of our luggage and were allowed to use the pool. When our room was ready, I checked in and grabbed our stuff from the car to take to the room. She hadn't zipped up her suitcase and I dumped half the contents on the parking lot. Upon closer look, I realized she hadn't brought the lockbox with her key to my cage. My heart sank realizing nothing was going to happen outside my cage.

When we awoke yesterday morning, we cuddled together & she start to caress me. Any touch at all at this point gets me very aroused immediately. She reached over to the bedside table and produced the key and instructed me to open the lock. Boy was I surprised! I was so aroused I had to carefully pry my little guy out of the cage. He was instantly fully erect.

She didn't tease me nearly as long as normal and barely made contact with my little guy. And then said "Is that enough?" Translation: "That's ENOUGH of that!"

I took my time and made sure she fully enjoyed herself. It was clear that she had no intention of trying PIV nor had any further plans for me. I'm still a bit surprised she didn't even hint of giving me an orgasm. I think she did feel like it was a real treat for me to have an erection because she did ask how it felt. I didn't know whether to say "GREAT" or "Frustrating" so I settled for "Really good". I'm feeling a bit confused and mixed emotionally now not sure whether to be glad or sad over the weekends developments! Overall, we had a fantastic time and she seems happier than she's ever been in our relationship! And that feels amazingly good!

Funny story: we went bike riding yesterday morning! We were on a road we've never ridden before and come to a long downhill with some bad pavement. The fast downhill over the ripples in the blacktop caused vibrations in may seat/saddle that I felt thru the end of my cage! By the time we reached the bottom, my little guy was very aroused. I asked her if we could ride up and down that hill 4-5 more times. We laughed and she said "I'm not going to be able to let you go bike riding by yourself ever again!" On the way back to our hotel, there was another downhill section and I found myself steering over the rough pavement instead of finding the smooth track in the road. When I got to the bottom I thought "that sure felt good!" But then I realized that was a violation of our chastity guidelines "No teasing myself". Fearing that she knew what I was doing as she rode down the hill behind me, I confessed that without thinking I had deliberately teased myself and she was clearly disappointed! "Of course you were thinking about what you were doing!!!" I begged forgiveness and pleaded with her to recognize the fact that I hadn't touched, teased or masturbated in the 3.5 months since we had put our guidelines in place. This seemed to placate her! Being pure 24x7 is tough work!

 

Day 15

Knowing we had a goal of 90 days denied before my last release / orgasm, while difficult, gave me a finite time to look ahead to and no expectation that something might happen before then. Now that we've passed that milestone and I've had a release & orgasm, I don't know what she might be thinking or have in mind. With the complete uncertainty, I'm getting a little nuts.

Her ability to tease me has improved to the point that I'm on the razor's edge almost every day. I don't think my level of arousal could go any higher.

I've cornered myself in with our chastity guidelines which prohibit me from asking for release. I know if I started telling her how horny I am, she will likely cave to my whimpering. I can't bring myself to do that. I don't want to manipulate her. She would quickly recognize that for what it was and get tired of it. Long term, that's not a good strategy.

I guess I need to adopt the mindset that this is my cake and I should enjoy it! Anything else that comes along involving release is just icing on the cake. Plus, watching her evolve in her role on top is worth taking the time to enjoy.

 

Day 17

The other night I was sharing my insights from scripture that I posted here and about the changes that I've observed in her since we started this journey. One of the most recent observations that I mentioned to her was this: When she would become angry or frustrated about something unrelated to me, she would channel her emotions towards me. This was really irritating because I hate when someone takes out their anger on me when I don't think I deserve it. I think it's a trigger from my childhood when my dad would often direct his anger at me. I told my wife that I can't remember her doing that since we started our journey. She revealed to me that there was likely unspoken anger or frustration with me that was simmering below the surface. WHOA! That hurt! Guilty. In hindsight, I know I treated her poorly at times. It's amazing how much clarity comes from this new perspective.

I was talking with a new friend on the phone the other day. I had been sharing with him the changes that have come in our marriage over the past 6 months. He and his wife have had a sexless marriage for the past 14 years and he's had to have his prostate removed. It was difficult for him to talk about sexual things because he and his wife don't ever openly discuss sex. It was clear he doesn't know much about how to get his wife aroused despite all the porn he's watched in his life.

How does that story relate to my journey? We were in the same boat not long ago. But now we talk much more openly about what pleases her. This morning after waking up, we cuddled for a good while and then she turned me over and teased me as she does almost every day. When she was done, she looked at the clock and said we only had 6 minutes left so we might as well get up. I went for her genitals despite that knowing she'd block my move if she was determined. To my surprise, she let me go ahead, I switched up my techniques and she had a wonderful orgasm within her 6 minute window. Afterwards, she mentioned how much she likes her tummy to be stimulated and that she likes pressure on her stomach as well. She's noticed that if her bladder is kind of full, her orgasms are even more intense. She suggested I research that to see if there's any reason for it.

A recent podcast I listened to mentioned that it takes 3-5 minutes for the average man to orgasm but that it's more like 15-18 minutes for a woman. While I'd like to brag that it only took me 6 minutes to get the job done for her, I know that the thing that stimulates her the most is teasing me, heariing me moan and feeling me twitch. She's become so good at it that it's hard not to feel guilty when she rolls me over to play with her toys. While she gives me the pleasure of finishing the job on her, I know she's doing most of the work. She's in charge in more ways than I realized.

 

Day 20

We had a couple of busy days with family and other activities and had no time for intimacy for a couple of days. I could tell I was getting a little grouchy because a couple of my responses to D were on the testy side. She noticed too. (Aargh)

Last night, despite a long day and short night's sleep the night before, she was very playful at bedtime. We started kissing passionately and rolling around on top of one another. It was clear she wasn't going to tease me but since she was showered and clean, I knew it was the perfect opportunity for oral and she didn't hinder me at all. It took only a few minutes to bring her to climax which made me wonder if it had really happened. But she pulled me back up so I knew she was happy which she confirmed verbally a short time later.

My hopes for an orgasm soared briefly when she then asked how I was feeling about orgasms. I told her I wanted them!!! She asked how long it's been and I said almost 3 weeks. She joked that that was nothing and indicated it was a long way until the 90 day mark. She then said she was uncomfortable and a bit out of sorts not having a target to shoot for. I didn't know what to tell her so I said "whenever you want" but then told her I wanted one now. But she was ready for sleep by that time and very satisfied and happy. She thanked me for pleasing her and my response was "Thank YOU" before we both said "I love you" and drifted off to sleep. My last thoughts were "maybe in the morning".

On nights when we play before going to sleep, I usually awake with an attempted erection multiple times during the night and last night was no exception. Since cuddling up next to her would awaken her, I had to focus my thoughts on her instead thanking God for her and appreciating the beautiful creature that she is. At one point, she awoke, reached her hand over to me and I slid over next to her and she drifted off to sleep again.

When she awoke, she immediately went into tease mode and had me twitching, moaning, thrusting and leaking. But no key came forth. Her version of oral sex is to take my nipple in her mouth and to tongue it. That drives me absolutely insane. But without removing the cage, there is no hope for an O.

 

Day 21

Last night, at dinner, I brought up D's question from the night before about how I'm feeling about orgasms. I told her I thought it would be best to discuss it when I was "sober", i.e. not adled by excessive testosterone shutting down my frontal lob. She also wanted to discuss it since she doesn't like lack of structure and a schedule. I told her that I had found the lack of a schedule really unsettling also and that the last couple of weeks I had been very worked-up hoping that "today might be the day". I also told her that I had resisted telling her that because I didn't want to manipulate her which she appreciated.

I suggested we start with every two weeks but she didn't seem enthused with the idea. She seemed to immediately start thinking about me making a mess every 2 weeks. After some back and forth, I suggested a dice game to determine how long between orgasms. She LOVED the idea! We settled on the following game based on 2D6 dice.

Roll, Weeks Denied
2, 8
3, 5
4, 4
5, 3
6, 2
7, 1
8, 2
9, 3
10, 4
11, 5
12, 12

We agreed that my O would still be at her discretion and wouldn't necessarily fall on the day my "sentence" expired. She told me she wasn't going to be responsible for keeping track and I told her that it wasn't going to be a problem; I mark the calendar on the wall with a red star when it happens and never have to look at it again since I'm always counting the days in my head; there are only 4 red stars on the calendar this year.

Based on the odds of rolling each number with 2 dice, this put the odds of 2 weeks or less at a little less than 50%, 3 weeks of less at 67% and of 2 or 3 months at about 5%. Using the odds of each, the average roll is 3 weeks + 1 day; a little longer than I'd really like, but it certainly makes thiings more fun. I like the odds of more frequent O's but the risk of a long denial period is making me a bit nervous. I never seem to be lucky at games of chance.

All of this is of course dependent on keeping D happy so this could go sideways if I don't keep that foremost in mind!!!

Because I've been denied for 3 weeks already, I got her to agree to give me a 3 week credit against the first roll although I had a little bit of convincing to do. She seemed too eager to restart the clock from 0. I was pleased that my chances of having an orgasm in the next couple of days were very good.

She quickly found a pair of dice and rolled a 10.
My immediate response: "Really????"
Her response: "You've already waited 3 weeks. What's one more?"
Me: (Deep sigh)

This is actually a good thing! Now I can stop thinking about when it's going to happen again and get back to focusing on keeping her happy; I'm not sure I've done a very good job of that lately.

 

Day 28

Today marks 4 weeks since my last O. Right after waking up this morning, D said "I'm sure you are very excited that today is Monday!". This put a smile on my face that she hadn't forgotten. Of course, we agreed that our dice roll didn't mean that I get to have a release on that day but that it could happen any time after that at her discretion. I was just encouraged that she was thinking about it.

The last week has been extremely busy with life & travel out of state for a family reunion. It was very stressful for D because of family issues so we haven't had much or any time for physical intimacy. We got home yesterday evening and we had a great time unwinding over a bottle of wine last night. She really appreciated the time we spent talking. But she has a busy week ahead prepping for a training class she has to conduct on Saturday so her mind in on other things.

I asked her this morning if she wanted my next release to be PIV sex since she's expressed a desire to experience that again after several years of not being able to do that for physical reasons and because of our sexless marriage, my ED and my masturbatory habits. She said maybe not this time but admitted she needs to get into a better headspace before she's ready for physical intimacy. I told her I totally understand, want to support her in that, and just held & hugged her for a couple of minutes.

I'm going to be patient with her. I certainly don't want this to be "duty sex? for her. This needs to be about our intimacy together.

 

Day 29

D was able to get a lot of things done yesterday so she felt free to devote the evening to us. I ended up getting home later than usual to make dinner because I needed to take her car to get the battery replaced. Once we finished eating, I asked her if she wanted to watch a little TV but she declined because she wanted to devote the rest of the evening to time in the bedroom.

So it was 4 weeks to the day since my last O which was what she had rolled in our dice game. She made sure to inform me that we weren't going to roll the dice again until tomorrow (today). I started to object because that would add another day to my duration but I quickly stifled it and said "Whenever you want to roll the dice is okay with me".

She gave me the key and was pleased with the new, clear version of my Vice Mini. We had a very nice long time of making love. I asked her how she wanted it to go and she just said "Let's just see". I didn't push anything but did get her very worked up manually and thought she might be finished before she got around to me. But she pushed me away and turned the tables and it didn't take long for her take me over the edge. It was pretty explosive. I then returned to working on her and she had one of the strongest, most prolonged O's that I can remember. We were both very satisfied afterwards.

She decided I could remain uncaged for the night. Unlike in the distant past where I would quickly fall asleep, I remained sexually charged and tingly and probably didn't fall asleep until after her. But then I slept really well until about 4 am at which time my little guy was ready to get up and play some more. In hindsight, I can see I should have locked up before going to sleep, but I was also looking forward to cuddling with D when she woke up without the cage for the first time in forever! I had to get up multiple times to calm the little guy down. He was bouncing up and down teasing me against the sheets making me miserably crazy! When D finally woke up, I went to snuggle with her but she pushed me away because I was too hot and my little guy was dribbling like crazy!

I told D about my struggles the last couple of hours before she woke up and she seemed very concerned. Her comments were along the lines of: "What are we going to do?" and "Your libido is too strong now!" I told her next time we'll just lock back up right away afterwards. This prompted her to say "Are you prepared to where your Guardian (our term for my cage) for the rest of your life?" I said "Yes, if that's what it takes." She replied, "Won't you get tired of it?" I told her I didn't want to change anything, encouraged her that I resisted any urges to pleasure myself and haven't thought about that option for a long, long time. I told her that the last 6 months have been fantastic and that I can live with being really horny after an orgasm as long as we can sustain the intimacy that we are enjoying now, emphasizing the emotional, relational & spiritual aspects of our intimacy. I'm just not ready to give up having any orgasms at all and I hope that thought hasn't crossed her mind!!!!

 

You're killing me!!!!

 

Day 30

So I was in suspense all day yesterday waiting for that next dice roll. Nothing came up during a lengthy time over dinner. (Part of our renewed intimacy has been eating dinner together at a table without distractions - TV, phones, etc. This has proven to be one of our best times of the day and I know we both look forward to it. While my wife suggested it before we started this journey that includes chastity, it has become a fixed part of our day since then.)

After cleaning up, we settled down to watch an episode of a show on Netflix. I asked about the dice roll. D said she hadn't even thought about it as if it wasn't something on her mind. (Of course it wasn't!!!) She had felt tired all day at work so I fought off feelings of resentment because not only wasn't it something she was thinking about, it also wasn't something she wanted to take care of at that time.

We went to bed and she said she wasn't feeling good, something completely understandable given the tiring, stressful trip to visit family over the long weekend. Since some family members have started getting sick, I figured it was best to keep our distance. She slept well and long and awoke feeling well and refreshed. During snuggle time, she said "we forgot to roll the dice!". My initial thought was "I didn't forget, you did", but I said "Well, I reminded you". She replied "you didn't get out the dice". Sometimes you just can't win.... you are pushy, too preoccupied with sex if you press the issue and not responsible if you don't take the initiative! That's okay! I love and desire her too much to let that bother me.

We snuggled just a little ... no teasing.... and I got up and I started the coffee and went and got the dice. She arrived in the kitchen as I was returning with the dice. So she rolled the dice. And though my luck is never good in these situations, she rolled the best possible number for me.... a 7!!!! Only 1 week! That felt like divine grace for having to wait 2 days for this roll... the uncertainty was killing me! I've got to figure out how to make sure the roll is something fun for both of us and not a burden & duty for her.

Today, while running errands, I came to the conclusion that I'm just better in chastity than not. It makes me feel safe. I don't have to deal with temptation to self-pleasure. I only have erections when she allows it and is touching me. I can't touch myself. Chastity plus our frequent physical intimacy keeps my sexual energy at a high level; that just feels good! Now I have to figure out how to have that conversation with her while being sensitive to her feelings about long-term chastity so that we can take those into account.

 

Day 4 (I just realized I forgot to restart the counter after my last O)

I had the conversation with D yesterday morning about why I'm better in chastity than not. It went very well and I was able to identify questions & concerns that she might still have and address them. I thought I should put it all in writing so I did and sent her the following email:

Why I am ready to continue with chastity indefinitely.

I love:
- not being able to get an erection without being intimate with you,
- not being able to touch myself,
- not being able to cheat and pleasure myself,
- (and absolutely hate - ) that I can't easily be pleasured when you tease me,
- (absolutely love) that you are in control of my sexuality (it makes me emotional thinking about this),
- not being able to rub myself against you and feel it when cuddling in bed,
- the feeling of safety & security when wearing my Guardian,

You like:
- that I'm not able to have an erection except when I'm intimate with you,
- that I don't leak as easily on you and the sheets when we're cuddling,
- the near certainty that I can't be pleasured by anyone but you.

Concerning the idea that my Guardian is a crutch: I think it's more of an aid. It really doesn't fully prevent me from pleasuring myself as we found out in April when I cheated and used a vibrator to pleasure myself. There are any number of power tools (your Sona, a power drill, chainsaw, etc) that I could still use to cheat. But it makes it that much more difficult and takes a very intentional act of my will. It gives my frontal lobe & conscience a chance to override my middle brain & sin nature when tempted.

To me, it's become like wearing a seat belt when I drive in the car. It gives me feelings of comfort and security. It seems wise to take advantage of a device that protects me from such a powerful addictive force. The director of Pure Desire calls sexual climax the most powerful of all drugs.

Of course, I love how chastity (the concept), intimacy and orgasm denial makes me feel about you and the desire it gives me to be concerned and caring for you and to please you as God intended me to. This brings me the greatest satisfaction!​

In looking at this again, I realize I forgot to address her one concern - the health & well being of my "little guy". What I should have added was the following:

Before we started this journey, my "little guy" was not working so well; I had erectile dysfunction and had difficulty having an orgasm when we were intimate. Today, not only is my erectile dysfunction resolved, and my libido and testosterone levels are restored, but I have had no trouble getting hard, staying hard and having an orgasm on the on the occasions you've allowed me to. And all of this can happen even after an evening of drinking several glasses of wine. So far, I think the "little guy" is just fine! Healthy and very happy!!!​

 

Day 9 (Day 7 since she rolled the dice)

This morning as soon as D got out of bed, she said, "Tonight's the big night"! I love that she's keeping track.

I''m concerned after reading my last post that my focus is too much on me. I hope that we have settled the question of how long we're going to use chastity (indefinitely & long-term) and that she rolls a big number after tonight so that I can get my focus entirely on pleasing her.

I've come to realize that I still have a pattern of arrogance, superiority & dominance in our relationship. I wish changing that was as easy as putting on a chastity cage. In order to fully root that out, I'm going to be hyper-focused on my interactions with her and how I phrase statements / questions in my conversations with her. I will also frequently ask her if I've behaved in that way on almost a daily basis since I may not be fully aware of my behaviors.

I'm learning to let her be the dominant one in bed. But it hasn't been easy; it goes against my nature. My tendency has been to let my hands start roamong to places she doesn't necessarily want to be touched every time we cuddle & spoon. The first indication she might be interested in sex is if she rolls me over into an exposed, submissive position where she can tease my erogenous parts freely. This is usually on my back or side facing away from her, arms extended above the top of my head, and legs apart. Then I let her tease me extensively. When she's finished, I can then test to see if she wants me to please her either by asking or by probing. If she doesn't take the initiative to tease me or stops me from going further after she's done teasing me, I must focus on cuddling & holding her for a time and/or limiting my touch to less erogenous body parts like her arms, back, lower legs & feet. I desperately want to go elsewhere but that's not what pleases her in that moment. (Sigh) Since we are wired differently, it's ALWAYS ok for her to touch me anywhere she wishes whenever she wishes and leave me craving more. For me, it's only ok to touch her where she wishes only when she wishes and never leave her craving more. Sounds fair to me!!!

 

Day 2

D decided that it was time to try PIV again. Yay! So she was going to make the most of my release on Wednesday. We were having a really pleasurable time even before we tried PIV and I whispered to her "Even if we roll 5 weeks or more, we should try to do this at least once a week without removing my Guardian". Her reply was something to the effect, "I like that this is special and we're going to leave this up to God and the dice." I guess I found out who is in control.

That statement doesn't mean that we aren't physically intimate between my releases. She teases me quite frequently and gets to have an O whenever she wants. But it's usually just in cuddle time in the morning and not a full blown "roll in the hay" with lots of passionate kissing, etc. In fact, there's almost no kissing in the morning because of morning breath.

We tried PIV from both the top and bottom positions and she really enjoyed it. Sadly, with her limited flexibility and my limited size, it's tough to do much to "fill her up". But she liked it and I focused on motions that were the most pleasing to her (I think). She could only do that for so long so we had to resort to our normal methods of stimulation. She decided I should go first and, with all the build up and her intense efforts, I didn't last 2 minutes. I was crying "No, No, No" and she was asking why. I said because it all happened too fast! I didn't want it to be over that quickly. She, on the other hand, had a nice, lengthy build-up & release. She clearly was very happy afterwards and the glow was still there last night as we talked over dinner. She said she really enjoyed herself. And she reiterated her commitment to wait until my next release for another full blown "roll in the hay". Which leads me to the bad/good news....

She was ready to roll the dice again right after we were thru. No waiting 2 days and tease me with the uncertainty. (I told her that God rewarded me with a roll of 1 week last time because she tortured me.) So this time the roll came up 5 weeks. Ugh! But I know this will be good for me! It's like having to take horrible tasting cough medicine when you were a kid, but knowing you'd be back playing outside sooner if you did.

She asked me if I was going to put my Guardian back on right after we were done but didn't insist on it. I went to sleep with it off but awoke around 4 am and after several minutes knew it would start to become a problem so I got up and put it back on before my erection could start causing me trouble. That turned out to be a good decision because I started throbbing about an hour later and that would have been difficult to deal with. When she woke up at 6 am we cuddled and I just spooned and held her for at least 15-20 minutes. But the urge for another go at it was burning inside.

Over dinner the next night, she mentioned again how much she enjoyed PIV again and that we would try that again. I told her that we could do that again before the 5 weeks were up because I should be able to control myself. She reiterated that we were going to save that for my release dates and leave it in God's hands! DARN!!!!

I also shared with her how I always have strong urges for pleasure and an orgasm. She admitted not being able to understand because that's not how her body works. I told her that it happens whenever we have any extended physical touch whether in bed like when we were cuddling that morning, while watching TV on the sofa, or times when I'm just thinking about the marvelous times we've had. She admitted she enjoys the physical connection we have and doesn't want to change things. I told her I don't mind feeling those urges because I feel like I'm in control. She seems to be fully grasping the ongoing need for the cage. I shared with her comments that some of you on this site have made about the importance of having this "guardrail" to help maintain self-control, particularly in an age with so much temptation at our fingertips! The important thing is it's working fantastically and it's delightful to know she's really comfortable and happy with where we are at. She's come a long way from the day I introduced chastity to her and she said "we've got to do whatever it takes to get that thing off of you" and "I don't even want to look at it". What a journey it's been!

D - 1, Me - 0

 

I haven't lost my mind completely..... Yet!

 

Day 10

Things have been quiet... too quiet. D has developed a bit of an infection that has persisted since the end of last week... possibly because of our first PIV sex in ages. She's not been interested in personal pleasure since then. She's continued to tease me but with much less frequency as life has been busy for both of us limiting our time and energy. This has been okay as it should be, but I have noticed my mind and eyes straying in other unhealthy directions. We talked about it last night. She appreciates transparency and vulnerability. This has helped our feeling of connectedness.

Reading a recent CM thread on penis shrinkage has me freaking out a little .... ok, a lot! I'm convinced my little guy is becoming tiny guy!!! It suddenly looks like he's taking up much less space in the cage. I thought previously that there was no reason why chastity should affect penis size. But I read a Healthline article about what causes penis shrinkage and it clearly states that the penis and testicles may get slightly smaller due to a loss in blood flow. YIKES!!!

One of my balls escaped / slipped thru the ring this week partly because I was using a slightly smaller padlock that introduced some play in my device. I've already downsized my ring size once and downsized the anti-pullout I'm using. I've now ordered the extra small "Model Z" spacer for my Vice Mini. Can you see where this is headed? Hmmmm.... maybe I should discuss with D releases for maintenance erections?

D - 1, Me - 0

 

Day 11

No mercy! My new extra small spacer came for my Vice Mini yesterday. D asked me what was in the package. This prompted me to mention the Healthline article and my perceived shrinking genitals. She quickly dismissed it and said she didn't want to hear about such stuff!!! I guess we won't be discussing maintenance erections.

Yesterday was a really nice, rainy day to be inside and spend time with D. I baked her muffins and delivered the treat to her while she was studying. Then she suggested we go out to look for a new, comfy, oversized chair for our liviing room... something that we could both sit in while watching TV. This REALLY perked me up because she made it clear she really enjoys the close, physical contact while lounging in the living room. I was very HAPPY to spend the money on something like that. We found one that fit all the criteria and ensured that we won't be sitting apart without contact. We'll be picking it up later this week.

We spent a good bit of time cuddling in bed before drifting off to sleep but things didn't go as far as I had hoped. I've really been wanting to fully pleasure her as it's been over a week since she last let me into her pleasure center in any way. I think the slight infection is affecting her. I've asked her about that but she doesn't indicate that that is her primary concern. But it seems obvious to me that this has been a bit of a barrier. Before she drifted off to sleep, she thanked me for making her feel so loved! So I can't think of anything I've done to hold her back. My inability to please her with an O is really heightening my sense of desparation in the midst of my 2nd week of a 5 week denial period. Somethings got to break soon.

This morning, she told me she didn't have much time when we woke up, so I took that to mean no teasing for me. However, she got up and went to the kitchen but returned without turning on the coffee maker which sent me a different message. After cuddling for awhile and getting no indication she was done, I turned into the little spoon position and she proceeded to tease me more extensively than I can ever remember. She had me whimpering and by the end I started to very faintly whisper "Please!". She didn't miss it and said "What did you say?" I repeated it a couple of times. She said "Please what? Please stop?" To which I replied "NO". This is a first for us. I'm so befuddled now and today is going to be a challenge.

She gave me the key for a cleaning and shave this morning. It was difficult not to get a full erection in the process. I was able to put the new spacer in place. The fit of my cage feels perfect now. I can't believe what a difference 3.5 mm less space can make. Nothing is going to slip out now! And it feels much more comfortable in my shorts.