Why do locked boys look at porn?

First off, I really am sorry if you've been attacked on forums for asking questions. I hope it doesn't happen to you again.

I'm not allowed to look at any porn without @LadyDez s consent. But that doesn't mean I never see it. It shows up on my reddit feed and so forth. However, if I see it, I don't "watch" it without asking her if it is OK. That being said, I've never had her not consent, she just wants to know I'm doing it and what it is. She really likes reviewing what I watch and I like finding things that turn her on.

I've seen some people that do get off on being "bad" and want to be punished. I mean, if he wants to be punished, maybe there's an easier way to just give him something to do he can fail at and be punished. Like cleaning the house or not cumming or something else he can fail at and be punished. That is of course, only if you want to give him something like that.

If it actually makes you upset, that's very odd (to me at least) that it would actually continue. He may have porn addiction? The man topping is just so much more prolific and better produced so he may feel he has "run out" of submissive porn (which is just hilarious if you think about it. Running out of porn in 2017). Maybe getting a subscription to a site with a huge backlog of male submissive porn like kink.com's men in pain or captive male?

Why do I look at porn when I'm locked up is something I can answer for myself though. I am very into orgasm denial and control, so I like watching that kind of porn while locked up, since that's what's happening to me. I watch male topping porn sometimes, but for me it's more about respecting the art of the bondage and their sexual skills. The forced orgasm genre is my favorite for male topping since I try to learn how to best please the female body. I also like the idea of being in chastity and pleasing @LadyDez until she is practically losing her mind (like a top might do), but being in chastity where I cannot take advantage of her or get any pleasure. I guess I sorta twist it to what I want to get out of it lol. In fact.... now that I think about it, the male topping porn I actually enjoy, he never actually gets any pleasure, he just works the submissive's body into a frenzy. Something I love doing to my wife, as a submissive.

Secondarily, I have to milk my prostate when in chastity, and it just seems to be so much more effective while watching porn. I do watch femdom porn, sometimes straight, sometimes lesbian, but that's my taste.

I really hope this helped. It concerns me that if this is a real border that it would be disrespected. If he just wants to be punished, I can respect that. But there's a respectful way to have that happen.

 

I can say that I'm allowed to look at porn all I want. Mistress doesn't restrict what I look at or what type. However, I typically do not. I have a twitter account that has a bunch of naughty pictures but they don't do much but inspire me to lock up. Without a device I don't touch, with one, I don't touch. It's simple. However, if Mistress asked me not to look at porn, I wouldn't actively go out looking for it. I may come across some, you can literally do a basic search like "Auburn" and find porn sites devoted to "Auburn colored hair".

It's simple in my opinion, sit down, ask him why he does it, get him to tell you. If he wont, then drop it for the moment (no need fighting); wait a day or two and bring it up again. Rinse and repeat. Tell him that he wont be punished for his answers (in vanilla relationship or kink). Don't judge, but don't let him hide. Communication is key.

My Mistress has things she can't stand, that I absolutely love. Some things we keep doing just rarely, some things were just gone and that was it. The thing I had to decide is did I love the thing more than her. I always pick her. It has nothing to do with chastity, flr, or anything else. I just love her!

For the record, the best advice I can give, is setup a calendar event each month on a family calendar and call it "Vanilla day". This is a day where no matter what it's vanilla. You can keep him locked, but just be about the relationship and not about the kink. We have one of those and a "Reversal Day" event where I'm in charge (I rarely enact this day but it's there). If I'm unlocked I can touch, do whatever, the most I usually do is tell her to get off like 6 or 8 times that day in front of me.

I digress though, just remember that as we go longer and longer locked up we get horny, we get stupid. The old adage of only enough blood for one head is mostly true. It doesn't excuse it but it is true and sometimes it does win out. The best way I have found to handle it is just be honest and know honestly doesn't get punishments.

 

My wife hates porn, hates the idea of porn, hates that it exists. I don't have any extreme tastes but like most men I like variety which naughty pictures can provide. Being locked, I initially thought my browsing would diminish since it would just make things worse but I truly enjoy the frustration and my desire to be teased way exceeds my wife's desire to tease (or even time to provide it).

I meet my desires without burdening her and the chastity keeps me focused on her when their is time and opportunity.

 

Your punishment sounds painful. Just a little suggestion, something that my Mistress does to me is have me sit still with a dildo in my bum for a long time ( 30 minutes + ) this sounds like it would give him pleasure but not moving after a few minutes becomes very uncomfortable, I know who is in control, just a suggestion

 

Your question isn't as easy to answer as it may seem. My Mistress knows I look at some porn because I tell her. One reason I do is. When I've been locked for a long period of time without any contact from her mu desire to do things to her starts to diminish. She very seldom tells me to rub her feet or massage her it's more my responsibility to know when I should. By looking at some porn I get slightly stimulated and motivated to do things for her. It helps to keep my sexual and serving energy at a higher level. So I can continue to be a better servent for her even when she's ignoring me. I know this isn't the answer you may have been looking for but every Relationship is Unique and Different.

 

Elle doesn’t stop me looking at porn, has never mentioned wanting to ban it and has never made any moves to include it in our list of rules and expectations. We have a shared Tumblr that I use to share images that turn me on and for ideas of things she could do, which she has enjoyed, though she has never contributed anything to the Tumblr.

That said my old habits of finding porn has completely stopped and I cannot remember the names of the sites and search engines I used to frequent. Porn was a replacement, a way of getting a sexual thrill that was absent from my personal life. Wow, look at what that woman is doing and boy, I wish Elle would do something like that to me, damn, she looks just like a younger Elle, and his dick is so huge, etc etc,

Since we started down this road of FLR and chastity my sexual experiences have become so incredible I literally no longer have any need for porn. This is even true for the vast majority of femdom themed porn. The fact that the guys who are slaves are being given orgasms seems to make it more about what they want than what the woman in the scene wants. As for chastity themed captions, they have as much affect on me as a cold cup of tea.

If Elle told me that she no longer wanted me to look at porn I would ask if she meant whether that included the sorts of things I have shown her on Tumblr. If that was banned then I would delete my Tumblr app and no longer bother with it. I wouldn’t miss it and I wouldn’t see the point of going against her wishes.

 

Superb rationalization. Nicely done

What you said about expecting browsing habits to diminish due to being locked but finding the opposite to be the case holds true though. Porn had always been reserved for the relatively rare times @Thatgirl wasn’t in the mood to play, usually middle of the night and such. Prior to chastity it was never a discussion. I think one time, maybe twice, literally, she was frisky and in an extremely unlucky coincidence I had just relieved myself and was thus unable to rise to meet her needs. But in general I rarely accessed porn, and it was even rarer that I used it to actually get off. But when locked, the constant state of mild arousal that runs in the background at all times due to denial changes things. At any given time I’m in a state in which under normal circumstances I would seek relief, be it with Her or on my own if necessary. So seeking out of pornographic material (or at least the idea of doing so) is indeed much more frequent.

Ive been thinking a decent bit about @Thatgirl’s question. Especially since she’s locked me out of everything but Tublr. Why look at it if you’re locked? Why bother if you can’t “get off”? She’s right, the math doesn’t add up, so why bang my head again the wall? Here’s the best I’ve got:

The fact that I’m unable to actually attain “relief” with the porn simply doesn’t figure into the equation. That’s a two step thought process, and the male brain doesn’t do those well, particularly where libido is concerned! Like a dog triumphantly trotting toward the house with a 3ft long branch from the yard. It doesn’t matter that the doggie-door is only 1ft wide and he’ll never get the branch through it - that thought is too far down the logic path. The branch - that’s what the dog is worried about. He’ll figure the door out later (or more likely give up in frustration and go lay back my master’s feet).

But those moments between grabbing that branch and smashing into the too-small doggie-door; those were still nice for the dog

As a semi-reluctant sub, I run into problems like this a lot with @Thatgirl. I can’t pretend there’s no real sub in me at all, because I can’t pretend that I take no satisfaction from her exercising control. That would be a lie at this point. But it doesn’t come naturally, and has required a heavier hand and lot of consistent commitment on Her part to get me to a place where I do actually recognize the aspects of submissiveness that I enjoy. I don’t alwags care for the cage, and I don’t much like having less access to porn, or paying the consequences for doing things She doesn’t like. But I have however come to appreciate the overall effect her efforts have had on our love and sex lives.

And as ALWAYS - keeping it fun underpins the entire thing. It’s what overcomes most of my instinctive objections to not being in control. Fun is a powerful tool. And pain. Can’t deny the usefulness of the administering of some pain either, lol.

 

Basic answer to OP is because they can. And not just locked makes: IMO 90+% of males look at porn unless they've someone to stop them doing so.

 

So I think my views are clear on this. Quite simply, chastised men have no rights to view porn without express permission of its KH/Wife/Partner. And when such permission is granted, none of it should include female nudity. If female nudity is present, the male should immediately avert its eyes. And as for your asset viewing male top BDSM porn; shame on him! I would consider this a serious breach of trust and significant admonishment would follow.

 

That is indeed super uncomfortable. Not too painful, but not pleasurable in the least. I’ve experienced something near to that, though with plugs. She’s sent me to work with it in and a change in plans had me sitting still most the day instead of my normal routine which Includes lots of running around in and out of the car - something that makes the plug an intense thing. But being stuck sitting still - especially very still, like you describe, becomes uncomfortable quickly.

And you’re right again, her punishment was painful. Didn’t think it had broken the skin any but when she switched me back to the cage we noticed it did indeed leave a ring of little wounds toward the base. Nothing to worry about or cause her to leave me swinging free or anything.

 

concur re: breach of trust........ actually porn while locked can be painful

 

Ahhh all this is making me want to go to fetlife and watch male dom porn lol!

 

There’s porn on fetlife? Interesting... I have an account but never explored much. Reminded me of an x rated Facebook and I’ve never been a big facebooker.

 

Click on the search box, type what your looking for, and stuff will pop up. Instead of people or pics, click on videos. There that should keep you busy and in trouble for awhile lol.

 

I thought that the idea was to put @Thatguyontheinternet off of watching porn!

Before we discovered chastity porn had already started turning me off. I hated seeing the way most women were treated, it verges on abuse. The way they were forced to gag whilst giving oral sex was horrific and i quit a video as soon as there was any face or breast slapping. The videos that really turned me on were ones that had something that looked like real affection and deep attraction between the participants.

Consensual bondage I was fine with though, which is an interesting look into how my mind works.

 

I asked Elle last night, with special dispensation to discuss this sort of topic on a day other than Saturday. She has never thought of banning me from looking at porn and has no intention of doing so. It is her thinking that I used to look at porn to arouse me so I could masturbate. I am no longer allowed to masturbate, so what is the point of looking at porn? If I want to make myself aroused and not be able to do anything about it then that is fine by her. She thinks it is a bit ridiculous and likes making me aroused with no outlet.

If anything I think this question has given her the idea of making me watch porn. I am not in any way questioning the approach of @Thatgirl or even the strict ideals of @Mandynjack, it is another case of how each couple doing this do things in their own way.

 

If there’s on single constant that CM has taught me its that we really all are so different (despite the immense similarities in the things we all feel and think). So much so that for something as personal an intimate a lifestyle choice as this, there can be no right way, any more than there can be a “right way” for water to find its way down a hill. There’s just too many variables person to person. Add the variables in the way any two given people find a way to enjoy this life together, and variety becomes the only constant.

As long as it’s fun, and makes you happy, it can’t be wrong. I say it to myself several times a day. It’s the only universal truth I’ve come up with in my short time.

Just today, for the first time, the idea of release struck me as something other than the ultimate goal. Talking about her expected next release for me threw me off. Chastity has become harder than it used to be unless there’s the feelings that come with denial there to keep it itense and fun. So In just relatively short time we’ve been doing this my own (and thus our) “right” way seems to be changing. Further truth that nothing in this can be right or wrong.

As long as it’s fun, and makes us happy.

 

Oh and @Nicoftime you are in touuuubbbleee ‘round these parts

 

Oh hunny, be a good boy. You're locked for a reason, may be you haven't embraced why!

 

I don't know, I am forbidden from watching porn.....so spend a lot of time on Flickr, Pinterest and tumblr....but why do I do it? It really serves no purpose, it does hurt sometimes but then there are other times when I don't even get hard...or as hard as my cage allows. I think I watch it to see if I can still react to stimulation....I would love to get off on HFO audio and have tried but not yet. I don't really know why my Mistress is so strict, my cock and ass are hers and I can't touch them. I am allowed no pleasure, but I do get pleasure when she is pleased......lots of it...is this my new high?
Why do I do it.....I can't explain it....

 

Enjoying porn while locked makes about as much sense as (a male) enjoying chastity in the first place.
But sense and sex rarely, if ever, occupy the same thought as @Thatguyontheinternet observed.

 

Well maxwells maybe I’m just itching for punishment lol, that guy seems like a smart one, I figured he would have figured it out. Happy spankings!

 

I’m not allowed to watch bdsm porn because I genuinely like it and I can’t get pleasure from anything unless I get permission. I’d say that being horny plays a big role in wanting to watch some naughty stuff

 

i aint allow to watch a lot of things. and not Ladies with nothing on.