What the heck did I just ask for?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by custardcb, Nov 22, 2022.

Random Thread
  1. custardcb
    Offline

    custardcb Junior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2009
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    62
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Local Time:
    2:09 PM
    Long story short, been dealing with some depression, anxiety, and failing to meet personal goals lately. My wife pointed out keeping locked always motivates me a little more and she would be willing to keep me locked up until back on track.

    Chastity is an occasional thing for us as a couple, we've messed around with for several years. I have a PA and a custom device that fits great too. Sometimes I'm locked for a week or so and other times it doesn't get brought up for a couple months. Longest lockup ever was under 3 weeks.

    She had sent me a long note suggesting a lockup and some other motivations but I replied asking to be locked for 100 days straight. I haven't gotten a response yet but we will see where this leads
     
  2. Neander
    Offline

    Neander Active member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2021
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    98
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Germany
    Local Time:
    3:09 PM
    I think it is a good idea of your wife to make your release dependent on goals.
    Setting a fixed date seems rather counterproductive to me - if the 100 days are up and you haven't made any progress yet, no one is benefiting.
    Example: Maybe you need a new job. She rewards you only when you have one. Can be in 2 weeks, or in 2 months. Or in 2 years... good luck!
    If she really goes through with it, you will be highly motivated in no time.
     
  3. IB-Chaste
    Offline

    IB-Chaste Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2022
    Messages:
    1,271
    Likes Received:
    1,767
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    2:09 PM
    You immediately topped from the bottom… I hope she locks you up and tells you the 100 days means nothing to her. You get out when you learn to do as your told!
     
    Queens servant73 likes this.
  4. JaySaysYes
    Offline

    JaySaysYes Level-4 Sarcasm Master, PhD in Google, Ace Pedant.

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2020
    Messages:
    1,102
    Likes Received:
    2,320
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    2:09 PM
    I agree with @Neander.

    My GF sometimes uses the cage as a motivator and I must confess it works like a charm.
     
    MadameJs_boo and Neander like this.
  5. madams-sissysub
    Offline

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2009
    Messages:
    8,980
    Likes Received:
    4,808
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    nurse
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    uk (west mids)
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    2:09 PM
    Just go for it and see where it takes you!
     
    bondinchas likes this.
  6. custardcb
    Offline

    custardcb Junior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2009
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    62
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Local Time:
    2:09 PM
    Lol, considering you know nothing of out dynamic, that's wrong assumption of what's going on. She offered to lock me and I ASKED to make it a long one.

    We aren't in a strict Dom, sub relationship. It isn't FLR either. This is the problem with a lot of the people here, chastity play can fall under many umbrellas not just what you believe it should be.

    Being locked is a physical reminder to better myself and be under control for certain things
     
    Tamsin Storn and Corryvrecken like this.
  7. ballbust
    Offline

    ballbust bbust

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2009
    Messages:
    71
    Likes Received:
    174
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Local Time:
    2:09 PM
    As long as the 100 days is your idea and not hers you should be fine.

    But you will undoubtedly get frustrated in the 100 days and you may become moody (possibly directed at her).

    In that case, you could come up with a physical deterrent that she can unilaterally administer (discuss this upfront). And if that physical deterrent doesn't work, she can simply just give back your key and refuse to play anymore. For us, the physical deterrent is ballbusting. If I veer off track too much she just kicks me in the balls and that usually puts me right back where I need to be.
     
    remyruff and MsCynsSlaveBoy like this.
  8. King Hippo
    Online

    King Hippo Long term member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2020
    Messages:
    2,622
    Likes Received:
    2,580
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    New Jersey
    Local Time:
    9:09 AM
    @custardcb : I think it is important to mention this, even though it is obvious... If at any point during your "100 day lock up" you feel it isn't working for you I am sure your loving wife will gladly allow you out. I hope it gets you motivated & you find out what works best for you.
     
    Caged for life likes this.
  9. custardcb
    Offline

    custardcb Junior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2009
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    62
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Local Time:
    2:09 PM
    That's actually it, this isn't a punishment at all. We still have sex but I'm asking to be held accountable for my choices and only reward me when I'm on track with my goals. Now often I'm unlocked and rewarded along the way is up to her. The biggest change is that usually I'll be locked for a short time, released, and the cage is put aside for a little while. Now it's going to be straight back in the cage after any play time and no guarantee of cumming. Longest I've been denied in the past is 3 weeks. I have a feeling a might go a full month until first reward.

    If I screw this up and don't modify my lifestyle she probably won't want to bother with chastity in the future.

    It isn't like I'm falling apart it's a lot of little things I need to address. Regular exercise, less snacking and drinking, better communication with what's going on in life, even pushing myself to read more like I used to instead of watching shit TV.

    Just going to go one day at a time. Try not ti ask for it to end and see what happens
     
    Isopropylforyou, sissy-J and Rectrix like this.
  10. littleguy3
    Offline

    littleguy3 Long term member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2022
    Messages:
    943
    Likes Received:
    1,203
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Semi-Retired; gardener & child caregiver
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA - Virginia
    Local Time:
    9:09 AM
    When you were locked for 3 weeks, did you continue to be physically intimate with her without removal of the cage? As all the books on the topic day, denial without teasing doesn't work. Is she willing to keep you motivated by keeping your hormonal fires burning? The hotter, the better!
     
    JaySaysYes likes this.
  11. custardcb
    Offline

    custardcb Junior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2009
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    62
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Local Time:
    2:09 PM
    Yeah we still have physical fun. Mouth and hands work just fine
     
  12. littleguy3
    Offline

    littleguy3 Long term member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2022
    Messages:
    943
    Likes Received:
    1,203
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Semi-Retired; gardener & child caregiver
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA - Virginia
    Local Time:
    9:09 AM
    Enjoy the journey!
     
  13. custardcb
    Offline

    custardcb Junior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2009
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    62
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Local Time:
    2:09 PM
    Small update. I'm still locked, no release at all yet and official orgasm free for the last few weeks. This is correctly my new record.

    She hasn't said how long she will keep me locked either. It might be for another day or two more months. I haven't specifically asked to be unlocked either I'm trying to be good and not ask for it, boy do I want to. We have our fun, and she doesn't even me imply or tease that it's almost time for me to be released. Kiss, make out, get her off, cuddle and then move on with our day

    Part of me wants to ask for release every day and the other part is being stubborn and doesn't want to mention it. It's a weird sense of accomplish at this point. Loving the constant dopamine drip and chastity high but fuck everything is sensitive and I'm ready to explode.

    I feel a little neglected and sometimes feel like she forgets I'm locked. Obviously she isn't wearing a device that gives a constant reminder like I am Also little proud of myself for going this long. I just would love to be unlocked, edged slowly and then told no. Also of course if she asked me if I want to cum the answer would be yes right now.

    I used to be and to sneak out for some extra cleaning, edging and the occasionally cheat when we first started chastity. I got myself pierced last year and all that stopped too. I've officially entered the be careful what you wish for territory.

    I have managed to lose a feel pounds, and improved myself several other ways this month as well. So the desired effect of the lockup is working. I just feel like a little reward to continue motivation along the way would be good. Once it's officially been a month probably going to have a sit down and check in with her about it. See where both our heads are at and how we are going to continue.
     
  14. Missy Tanya
    Offline

    Missy Tanya Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2008
    Messages:
    909
    Likes Received:
    591
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Pacific Northwest
    Local Time:
    6:09 AM
    I agree. Great motivator Chastity is.
     
    bondinchas likes this.
  15. IB-Chaste
    Offline

    IB-Chaste Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2022
    Messages:
    1,271
    Likes Received:
    1,767
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    2:09 PM
    Again with the topping from the bottom! Have you learned nothing?!
     
    JaySaysYes likes this.
  16. custardcb
    Offline

    custardcb Junior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2009
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    62
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Local Time:
    2:09 PM
    Having a conversation isn't topping from the bottom. There is absolutely nothing wrong with sitting down in a non sexual situation to discuss feelings and what we get out of sometime. You are really misguided
     
    true42 and Rectrix like this.
  17. IB-Chaste
    Offline

    IB-Chaste Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2022
    Messages:
    1,271
    Likes Received:
    1,767
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    2:09 PM
    No. I was joking the first time. I am joking now.
    I’m enjoying reading your journey.
     
    littleguy3 likes this.
  18. Queens servant73
    Offline

    Queens servant73 Long term member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2020
    Messages:
    397
    Likes Received:
    822
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Midwest
    Local Time:
    8:09 AM
    Have you discussed adding ruined orgasms as possible small rewards? If you’re both enjoying the way everything is going otherwise, and liking the chastity high, but want some kind of reward for the things you’ve worked hard to change, a slow handjob to a ruin could be the perfect thing.
    Once I hit that great high, the crash of a full cum really does kind of suck. If that’s what my Wife wants of course I accept it, but ruins can be perfect to keep the fires going longer.
     
  19. Rectrix
    Offline

    Rectrix Long term member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2010
    Messages:
    2,505
    Likes Received:
    5,187
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    US East Coast
    Local Time:
    9:09 AM
    Sounds like you're both doing great. That feeling of being ignored is part of being a chaste husband, it's difficult to imagine any wife being as tuned into our caged dick as much as we are. Thank goodness you got yourself pierced, it gives her the freedom to know that you're not cheating. What cage are you in?
     
    MacKenzie1518 likes this.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice