Hello, I'd like to ask you for your opinions and maybe for help/moral support. We are a young married Femdom couple (he 33, She 27). We are both into Femdom, cuckolding, bdsm etc., we have met on Fetlife so we are into this lifestyle since we have met 6 years ago. What's the trouble? My wife locks me into chastity cage (we use holytrainer now) but I feel weird in some situations: at work while sitting in the office, during the visit in my/her family or when we are at home with our kid. And of course I struggle with sleeping in chastity, when I don't have enough sleep I'm useless next day. My wife is so nice to me that she unlocks me for nights and for all mentioned situations. So basicaly I'm locked only when I'm alone, away or during kinky playing. She told me she is ok with it, but I want to get over this troubles and weird feelings and make her happy more and more. Slaves, how do you handle this situations? Ladies, how do you handle your slaves when they have feelings like this? Thank you for reading and I'll be happy for all your ideas.
What do you mean by “I feel weird”? Like uncomfortable physically? Or weird because you’re in a non sexual situation but you have a device on your penis? For the sleeping bit, lots of people have issues with sleeping. You can try other devices, that’s why most of us have a half dozen different cages looking for that one goldilocks cage that’s just right. Also, sleeping in the cage is nice, but in terms of orgasm denial you’re not likely to try to rub one out if you’re partner is sleeping right next to you.
well i spose everbody feel a bit funny when they first lock up in a cage cos it new then innit. but afters a bit you will get use to it and then it will feel funny when you aint got it lock on you.
I felt very uncomfortable at work and in social stuations at first as well. I still feel guilty sometimes because I cant "forget its there". But my kh gave me no choice. She simply said "get over it" and eventually I learned to live with it. Of course this doesnt apply to physical pain. I still have trouble in the early morning hours. A shorter/smaller cage can reduce the growth/pulling discomfort, and getting up for a quick pee settles things down so I can get that last hour or two of sleep. My KH will allow me a short nap after a particularly sleepless night but is merciless cage wise. Indeed, she sometimes chains my arms to the headboard and takes the cage off at night just to make sure my body doesnt adjust too well (to sleeping caged). I do sleep sound that way and never lose the submissive feeling.
Sound like if you and your wife are both into the lifestyle, then it's about relaxing and enjoying it, and keep communicating your feelings openly. No-one else needs to know unless you want to tell them. I found that whilst it can feel weird at first wearing a cage 24/7, after a week or so I start feeling naked without it and it now just feels part of me. Personally, I love sleeping in chastity (not that I have any choice at the moment!). I found the trick to getting a good night's sleep was a smaller cage (where my tip when soft just touches the end of the cage), so there's much less room too grow, plus lots of moisturiser around the cage just before bed so it reduces any friction. Some nights I sleep through to around 7am, sometimes I wake up a few hours early but I agree a quick pee often helps.
Not really sure what you mean. How do you feel weird? Like you don't want to do it? Or just self-conscious? That feeling of self-consciousness is quite appealing to many people. I guess you have to ask if this is what you want to do. If it is, then work out how to deal with the feelings it engenders in you. Good luck
My first use of chastity was mostly for my peace of mind that he wouldn't have a chance to cheat. I'm a lot older than husband. Husband always had to fight off the ladies while I never got my pick of the guys. Sometimes I have to work weekend nights at the hotel. It's not fair to him to tell him he can't go out just because I have to work. At first, I asked him to wear panties underneath. I figured if some hussy put her hand down there and discovered panties, she'd freak out and chase him away. He said he felt the same kind of discomfort wearing panties underneath in the same kind of situations. (Now I look back and laugh about it, seeing how crossdressing is such an important part of what we do). My best friend suggested a chastity cage. He was actually OK with it and says it doesn't cause him the mental discomfort wearing panties underneath did.
I get what you mean about feeling weird, like its a naughty / dirty secret that you have and the fear of being discovered inadvertently by others. I think you just have to take it in small bites to begin with, tackle one situation at a time. The office is probably the easy one, you just have to get determined and remember, just because you are aware of a cage around your junk, no one else is either looking or cares, it'll soon become just part of you. Around kids can be more difficult, depending on ages, they are well known to just run into your groin at any given point, this can cause confusion. Around family (yours or hers) is pretty much the same situaiton as at work, just because you are aware of what you are wearing, they will unlikely be looking at your crotch. Sleeping, this is well discussed here. Best time to tackle this is when you have a few days where you can adjust, start of a long weekend or similar and just do it. Good luck
I understand the discomfort. For me there was this internal battle going on. You have this kinky thing clamped on your bits, and you certainly know it's there. In certain circles it could cause some problems if discovered. But after 7+ years, I've worn the cage in all kinds of social situations, while up in front of large groups, in all kinds of activities. I've discovered that nobody is likely to guess, nobody sees it, nobody goes staring at a guy's crotch. If something is there, they just think you're nicely hung. Besides, what we do in our sex life is nobody's business. My wife likes it, I find it comfortable, I like it, and besides being a bit kinky and arousing, it accomplishes our goal of curbing the PMO addiction. I get ansy when I'm out of the cage for any length of time, and feel myself calm down again once a cage is locked on again. Hang in there, you'll get used to it. I have one on most of the time, cycling and occasional work excepted, and really can't imagine going without one. The new Cobra cage is a game changer for us. It's so comfortable that I don't need to take it off for comfort or cleaning. I've never gone more than 3-4 days without taking the cage off. By the time it comes off this time, it'll be a month, and we're already thinking longer.
There is no secret to getting used to it. Everyone is different, and adjusts to this practice differently. All I can say is don't give up-it's worth it in the end. Good luck!
Sounds like your discomform is more psychical than physical. It is not easy to give you an advice then. If you are a novice you can feel a bit embarassed with an awareness that you have a cage on your penis when you are among friends or coworkers. In my opinion it is exclusively my and my Wife's matter how I use my penis and I should not feel guilty because of it. If you agree with that you should get rid of weird feelings soon. If you are talking about physical nocturnal discomfort, it is a common problem that can be mitigated thanks to a well adjusted cage. Generally the shorter cage the less problem is because short cages stop erection better. The ring, however, can not be too tight. You have to check it on your own to choose the best model and size, but do not rather expect zero discomfort at nights.