The invisible life of numbness - a permanent denial diary

I have been instructed to keep an open diary on jer/our latest enterprise - keeping me on continuing permanent denial with the technic of rubber banding my member.
My wife has never been much into tools , gear, restrains, piercing and chastity devices. Having said that she has been vet open to experiment - trying together with me to find the most hazzle-free solution to her desire of keeping me on permanent denial, without any cuming at all - for good.
She likes it like that, and I am very fortunate to be allowed to live by that set of rules. I'm a far better husband, a more passionate lover/pleaser and I really love to see her blossom on her own, exploring her libido, also with her girlfriend ad parttime sub Anne. We have been living like this for over 2 years now, and I have been permanently denied ever since april 2014 - And I do not want it otherwise.

Still I would love to give her even more freedom to constrain me and use me without having to depend upon a lot of gear an routines. She have tired the honor- system on ne, and even though I performed admirably I still could not help seeking attention to my condition and I guess I overdid the rubbing against her lovely body;-);-).

Cages was better- for me, they kept it more protected from stimulation, but since I am a grower and almost 8 inches when erect, - the forces were strong, and the heavy pressure on the inside of the cage also drew a lot of attention to my condition. On top of that - there was the problems of mobility and flexibility, I could not go through airports and I had issues when I did sports etc.... On top of that there was the cleaning issue. Nothing beats a free hanging cock, when it comes to cleaning - and shaving;-)


So to cut it short we started talking about lowering the sensibility down there, and the first move was to get rid of the sweet-spot and the frenum, or whatever was left of it- after my previous piercing bonanza, when I played in secrecy prior to introducing her to the lifestyle. Go see my gallery to see what I am referring to. Thst would also remove the option of a secure PA-piercing since the Pa- hole would be eliminated.

The process took only a few days with rubber banding, and because we were in Spain on vacation, I could expose the process to a lot of Chloride- containing water in the swingpool, or expose it to sun. It healed in no time, and I think that is when it occurred to my wife that further lowering the sensibility would be and attractive route to take. She experienced how I manage to serve her with PIV for much longer already, since the frenum and sweet-spot had gone. Could there be more of that, by some sort og numbing.

I know, and she knows the existence of numbing cream etc. , but that is apply because some action is about to take place, and the effect does not hold for long. Her objective is somewhat different. She wants the numbing as a general condition , that does not put any pressure on her to engage in sexual activities with me, so numbing cream and spray is out of the question.

Continued...

 

She came to me - during our stay in Spain, and told be she had been reading about numbing by the use of rubber bands. Most of it was about castration play - banding the balls, but that was not something she could relate to at all. I'm sure none of us has a wish to see me castrated of with out a toy down there. I need it to define myself a as man - HER Man, mentally, and she for sure needs the same and also of cause the psychical part of it

I had never really read about it, but I had banded before, with rope and such, as part of a lonely self-bondage play. And of course we have had times with a pierced cock ring, which is somewhat in the same league, just not with numbness as objective;-)

I read a lot - A LOT on the subject, all the options, tools, and risks, cause there ARE RISKS if you do take precautions. One of the sources where tribe.nets community on cock banding: http://tribes.tribe.net/cockbanding. Some of it is pretty far out, but a lot is genuine valuable information. Still there is always the human factor. We all react differently to the application of bands around the base of our member for a certain amount of time.

She decided to give it a go, and it was so special to us both when she first applied the bands, and we led them stay on for 15 minutes.
I will shortly, maybe tonight write about my and to some extend her experiences with the first coup0le of bandings, and also provide detail information on the "risk management", the level of pain and how to get rid of it, during application, and also of course the results. The level of numbness, the functionallity of the numb member,- can she still use it for PIV, when I can't feel a thing, and finally I will try as good as I can to describe the emotional changes that seems to occur inside me... She will monitor this thread she has told me, so no fantasy allowed. LOL!

Right now I have been all numb for 6 days since last banding, that lasted 30 minutes, and I expect not to be able to cum, even if I tried for at least 3 more weeks.- and before that I will have been rebanded- LOL! ( I was allowed to test the effect, or to put it correctly - I was ordered to wank in front of her for like 20 minutes straight, and I was never remotely close to anything) . So the circle closes on me, and I am happier than ever.
Really think I finally live up to my promise: All for her pleasures.

Look out for the day-by day diary- and I guess I will also post some photos in the days to come.... The introduction took longer than I had planned , so time to take a break from the writing.

Take Care
BlueEyes

 

Anything involving desire to be castrated and loose my testeron has no appeal to me, so the eunuch concept is not quite what I am looking for. But thanks any way - There are some pretty good articles in there afterall...

 

I have this morning been allowed to make a short video that describes the concept. Have in mind that my member already is numbed from a 30 minute banding 6 days ago when I am doing the video.. The Banding in the video is only for 10 minutes. If you try it- please dont band more than that, until you are familiar with the effect, and risks of long term banding!

Link to video: https://vimeo.com/133429028

<iframe src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/133429028" width="500" height="281" frameborder="0" webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen></iframe> <p><a href="">Banding- to achieve numbness - temporarily</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user41994063">BlueEyes</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>

 

First Banding- 10 minutes
First we started our with like 10 minute to test the result - on ME. Result can be rather different form male to male.
Two rubber bands at the base on a flaccid one. Some report a certain level of pain when applied, but not me.. .I'm strange I know
After 10 minutes she cut it off with a scissor - carefully, and she tested the result. An almost complete nub felling in the head, and very reduced sensitivity in the shaft.

After like 6-8 hours it was pretty normal again. Hard to tell exactly, but Yes, pretty normal. We suspected that the banding was not really tight enough, since the descirbed color change to pale yellow did not occur. Instead it turned kind of purple and cold...


Second Banding 20 minutes - tighter
There following day I did the banding in her presence. I think I did it tighter, and the bands very more in line, around the shaft. We decided for 20 minutes this time, and everything went well. It even changed color to pale Yellow, and was not as cold as the first time. encouraging results.

After 20 minutes I cut the bands, and I had a clear mark around the shaft where the pain had been located. Over the next 24 hours it would go away... the mark. The pain from removing the bands were not bad at all, and lastet few seconds as the blood rushed back into the flaccid one.

That night we had great sex. She had PIV And I could go for miles - cause I could not feel a thing. Well, she had to work a little with to be erect, but she managed alright and she attached her cock ring to add to the girth some more, and I was so proud, that I did not have to call it a day. She kept going for as long as she wanted to, before she pushed me down to serve her right.
I felt absolutely nothing, but was thrilled like never before...

The effect- the complete numbness latest for several days, and there was no chance I could get any response when I "approached" my member - supervised and ordered of course! Nope, no chance to cheat. After 3 days - as I recall i some sensitivity started to come back, and when an couple of more days had gone bye we decided to do the ultimate test 30 minutes

Third binding - 30 minutes - even tighter
The third banding- maybe a little premature, but her desire were to only be "disturbed" by my numbing every fortnight, or preferably once a month - was done for 30 minutes - even tighter than the second, and this time I applied a piece of tape around the base of the cock before I applied the bands. I had read that it would prevent the skin on the shaft to be bruised. It required a really tight fight, but I managed all right and the color and all has "perfect".

Right now it has been 6 days since this 30 minutes banding. The tape worked like a charm. No bruises or marks, except som redness for an hour...
I still can't feel anything in the head, and my frustration and struggle has vanished completely. Any thought of her "paying back my sufferings" with edging and attention to my cock , was all gone. Wonderful ! I was, and am so at peace with it all. Can I be allowed to show my appreciation to her, serving her, I could not be happier. If not , it is her decision, and I will not be fighting hard to keep the jolly fellow from throbbing in its cage..

There is a delightful "risk" that this condition with numbness in the head will go on for weeks. We shall se. We are all different. The sensitivity in the shaft is slowly recovering right now, but not at all to a point where I could push it over the top. Not a chance!! ( Not trying!!!) we will see over the next weeks how it goes, and we will find out when it is time to reband, before I have regained so much sensitivity that I can enter the "danger zone" when she requires PIV sex..

 

We are all different, so It is expected that the amount of pressure, and the time spent can differ a lot. From What You describe I suspect that your have not banded tight enough, - but I am only guessing. Did you start our when it was flaccid. That is very important. Otherwise the blood in it will protect the nerves from compression. The erection will be a shield around the nerves, and they will not be paralyzed for long. But You will stop blood circulation and therefore the purple color...
The placing of the band is also important. The nerves branch put from the base of the shaft, so to be effective You have to "catch" them right at the base.
The key here is to be able to paralyze the nerves - the dorsal nerves- for such an amount of time that the numbness occurs for longer. For me the 30 minutes banding has now lastet for 7 days, and I am so getting used to not being "disturbed" by constant signals from an eager cock, if I may say so;-)

 

Day 7

Still pretty numb, -the head all numb but some feeling has returned in the shaft. It sort of travels up the shaft, but very. very slowly. Woke up with a boner this morning, not feeling it at all but I was told about it when I curled up close to her. She woke up and asked me not to poke at her with that. I could not feel my "wrongdoing" at all. LOL!

And for sex? It that all gone as well?
Nope !!

Last night I served her for more than 30 minutes and she did come twice, which is rare for her. All Oral service. She did bite me a little, but stated that she did not needed PIV, And was very please that it would not be on my mind. "Do what You do Best" was her command
And I was able to just cuddle up next to her afterwards, without being all fired up. I put a firm hand on her sex, and soon both of us drifted to sleep...

 

I will have to introduce a visual checking procedure before I Approach her in the future. Thanks LOL!!!

 

Day 8
- Woke up this morning and before I even checked to see if a nocturne erection was still there, she kissed me and took a firm grip ( I think;-) ) on my erect member. I could feel the pressure, but not the sensation And then she kissed me on my forehead 3 or four times, and gave me a wonderful smile.
I was allowed to kiss her sex good morning and straighten her little strip of pubic hair...
No frustration on my part, just love. I think we have found home....

 

The Numbness in the head is still almost 100% after 8 days, but the feeling is rising slowly from the shaft. She is the one who is testing , not me. I'm not allowed to;-) I think from the present "recovery-rate" that there could be weeks to come without sensation at all. And Guess what? makes we very proud, relaxed and focused on her ( an on my job;-)
One could argue that the sweet struggle is missing, but quite frankly I don't seem to miss it at all. Untamed - ( or tamed if caged ) horniness is replaced by deep devotion - that is so satisfying - in a pleasant unfamiliar way

 

INFO: The video has been removed from the site where I uploaded it. "Violation of guidelines" it says... I will have to upload on sites less strict about such content...;-)

 

Could You elaborate on that, - an artform? I would love to consider myself as an artist;-) - but banding? I think the mods we made to my frenum and such could somehow qualify for a piece of art, if You ask my wife at least... LOL!

 

Day 9
This morning a slight touch of her hand made it stand up. It is awakening - but absolutely no feelings in the head, and I suspect it will be long before that happens....
Anne is here for the whole weekend. It will be interesting to see what endeavors that will produce for the "silences warrior".
I will not need to fear - not to be able to be up for it - sort of speak....
The level of sensitivity is still miles away from bringing me into any danger zone ...

 

A row of pictures is a splendid idea - And YES , there will be a next time .-)

 

Day 10

A bit early to start reporting from day 10, but why not? My lovely wife and Anne is asleep entangled in the master bed - so here I am
Let's start with the clinical part: Still pretty numb in the head, but some sensibility seems to set in. The Shaft is getting more and more sensitive, but lets say in general that currently 5% of the original sensitivity in the head, and 20% in the the shaft has returned. Rebanding is likely to take place when the head is close to 30% sensitivity I guess. We will see. Her call

Emotionally I am THRILLED I truly love the feelings that evolves in my head. The frustration of denial is all replaced and more with love and devotion. I know I have said it before, but the loss of the sweet struggle, is no real loss compared with the feeling of mindfullness and love - i n a wonderful mixture with a deeper sexual tension than i ever felt before.
If I were to compare it to something I would know of, it would be like a light version of a full body orgasm. There is a certain buzz around it all.-)
Damn hard to explain!

 

And for the action this evening- and night, I can only say that all parties seemed very pleased with my current condition My ability to endure came to good use, and it makes me feel very useful, an certainly not neglected in anyway. Still it would be wrong to say that I was the center of attraction;-) I was a more like a handy tool, if you know what I mean.....;-)

 

Yes, I agree - You have to know what You are doing.-) and You have start out taking it slow... Bodies react in different ways...

 

Day 11
The feeling of being horny i is slowly returning. Don't know what to think of it. Is has such a blessing not have my satisfaction on my mind at all. The good part part is of course that the compression of the dorsal nerves by banding, just as expected - is not irreversible! ( if banding is within limits )- and the bad one is that it a return to something that clutters my focus on her needs;-)

Still of course the numb head remains, and there is some milage to cover to even get close to the edge I sense