The invisible life of numbness - a permanent denial diary

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by BlueEyes, Jul 13, 2015.

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  1. lock667
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    lock667 Long term member

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    I tried this again tonight, this time for about 45 minutes, and now I'm numb to the point where I can feel the slight pain from masturbating with my 0 ga piercing, but not enough to feel any pleasure. It's wonderfully frustrating. I even poked with a knife and a pair of scissors but I didn't feel a thing.
     
  2. lock667
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    lock667 Long term member

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    That didn't last long. Hrmm...
     
  3. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    What exactly did you try ???
     
  4. lock667
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    lock667 Long term member

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    Banding :)
     
  5. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    Let me start by saying that those of us who do banding as a substitute for a cage, really need to be careful a listen to the signals of your body. You could end up loosing Your dick if You are not careful, and fall asleep banded for instance.
    Having said that we have now been using Banding for 5 months, and have been very careful and have taken it slow, step by step, awaiting the reaction from the body before we moved on.
    So far it has been just wonderful. She truly loves not being met with all the procedures related to caging. And she also likes that I can move around, do my job, flying if I have too, stay out, without any ways of cheating ( I would never do that!!) And tha fact that she can have it as her toy without ever have to be careful that I fall over the edge makes her very thrilled about it all.
    She surely would not like me to loose functionality, and I haven't ;-)

    When we band her toy, we do it together and always time it as planned. Now it is 45 minutes every 3 weeks. It keeps me numb:) and her very happy an relaxed.

    For the banding to work it has to be at the base and has to be very tight. we use a sharp pin to test when the result is there. It is like a reference.
     
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  6. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    @BlueEyes I am having all sorts of problems with my cages and I am interested in this as an option. I didn't really want to go to full chastity when I started this but it is funny how things develop. Anyway I find your solution intriguing particularly as it could be something I do for a few weeks at a time to let my balls recover from the rubbing they are getting from the device. My wife knows about the Chastity Mansion but she hasn't joined yet or read any of the posts, but I will definitely be showing her yours to read to see what she thinks.

    Is it OK for me to ask a few questions?

    I get that you do this at the base of your penis, but what is it you are using? Are they applied with the device that people use to castrate animals. I have seen some people using those either to castrate themselves fully or just as a play method. If not how are you applying the band? I suppose the obvious follow up is how are you removing it?

    Also, If your penis is numb how do you maintain an erection? I am worried that if I am not getting any sort of sensation feedback during PIV then I will become flaccid, and my Wife would not be happy with that.

    Thanks for posting this series of journal entries, it is a really interesting counter to wearing devices.
     
  7. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    I just looked up the bit of kit I was referring to, an elastrator. Just missed my 3 minute edit window.
     
  8. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    Sure ask away:)
    I do not use an elastrator. Not That there is anything wrong with that, except the fact that it look more like a device for crushing or cutting. LOL!
    I use medium size rubber bands. It has proven to be easy to get, easy to apply, and pretty easy to cut loose again. Two bands are used together at the base of a flaccid or semi flaccid member. The fist time around I pull very hard once I have twisted the band, and then I put it around the base once again, keeping the rubber band as tight as i can. It might hurt just a bit, but that is part of the packet;-)
    I continue to go around as many times possible and makes sure that the band line up next to one another , and leave no skin captured in between, - cause that will pretty soon start to hurt....
    The last round is critical. You have to pull hard as You can , without breaking the band, and pull the member through. With a bit of practice it is easier than it sounds:)

    It will start to hurt - for me at least after approx. 30 minutes, but I keep it on for 45, until it is completely numb. She is kind enough to test it by pinching or even biting;-) Another reference!

    Your second question: How do I keep it operational when I feel nothing?
    Well, there seems to be two ways - for me - to achieve and maintain erection. One is pretty straight forward. A ball and cock ring ( pretty much a tight base ring that You know from a chastity device. Mine can stay on for days, it is not any tighter than that...
    Even though I really cant feel a thing in the outer layers of my member, her "handling" of her toy will lead to arousal, and the ring traps the arousal and voila- You got a rock hard member ready for long time action, with no risk of falling over the edge...

    The second way of achieving and maintaining an erection is simply by visual feed back. In Your mind You still know how it would feel if she sucked You, or when You penetrated her. Observing this - even without feeling a thing trickers my "system" and I get an erection. But visual input is evident for this to happen.

    When visual input is not possible it can get real tricky to maintain the erection, or to even know if You are still inside her or not. Somehow odd the first time realise that You are pumping away, and are not inside at all.

    Any more questions?
     
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  9. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    Brilliant answers! Thank you so much. I feel better describing this to my wife. I'm not sure what her reaction to an elastrator would be, she is surprising me in all sorts of ways at the moment, but medium elastic bands seem less severe.

    I like the idea of using a cock and ball ring to maintain an erection as well. I'm not sure I would want this full on like you do but it would be nice to have the device off when we travel for our holidays for instance. Knowing it was going to be numb but operational would also be nice for her, as when I come out of the cage it can be a while before I can get a full erection and my glans is often very tender as well.

    I am going to ask her for a trial and like you start off with a short period banded and build up. If she says yes that is, all of the developments in my chastity from now are her decisions.
     
  10. lock667
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    lock667 Long term member

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    I'd been trying the rolled balloon ends, perhaps they just weren't tight enough; I'll try the rubber bands next time, thanks!
     
  11. lock667
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    lock667 Long term member

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    Well, that was scaryish...

    I tried the rubber bands. The first one went on ok, and was pretty tight. In the process of the second one going on I wound up having an orgasm, but it was blocked by the rubber band. Then I had trouble getting a nail under the band to cut it. I finally got it, but jeez. Lessons learned:

    * put a string underneath at some point so you can pull a band away to safely cut
    * Keep a pair of blunt EMT shears nearby just in case.
     
  12. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    To make it easy to cut off a band , take a bit of polythene tube about 1/2 inch 12mm diam and 1 inch long 25mm.
    Cut in half lengthways , cut 2 vees on cut edges to let band sit in nicely.

    The nerve you are after lies along the top as you look down on the soon to be unemployed (your willy ) So when banding place the tube to one side as you want most contact along the top side. A pr of nail clippers the plyers type er new and sharp are good for dealing with bands .

    If your useing an elastrator on you cock 45 min is probably long enough.

    It's a very strange feeling and very odd not being able to feel anything.

    Xx Wendy
     
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  13. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    #63 BlueEyes, Nov 25, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2016
    Well I guess lessons learned well:) @lock667 Orgasm during Banding? Wauuw - never had that feeling coming to me!

    My fine Lady has been away for a couple of days, and she really likes to know that I could not even cheat if I wanted to because of the numbing.
    Nevertheless she somehow suspected something was not right when she returned. Don't know why really;-) So she wanted to be assured that the effect was still working, so when we went to bed tonight - rather early in fact - she told be that I WAS not to cheat, or even touch myself in anyway while she was away. I told her that I would never do that, and also that it would serve no purpose. Still - to my surprise she ordered me to masturbate sitting next to her in bed - for 20 minutes straight!!!! - without breaks. She oiled it for me, and put the cock ring on , and told be to go ahead!
    She wanted to see if I was capable of getting off or not. I was instructed to tell her if I was getting there.
    I never was:) Oh - how I felt submissive during that performance, and I was lucky that I was rewarded for my telling the truth. I was ordered to give her a "sleeping pill" . That's what she calls it when she wants oral service and falls asleep right afterwards. She is fast asleep next to me now.....
    I'm blessed:) And Numb:)
     
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  14. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    I will go with that if you have really banded properly you can feel your self going numb and no matter what you do climax is just about impossible buy touching your willy.
    Xx Wendy
     
  15. lock667
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    lock667 Long term member

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    It's weird, I wasn't even trying to get off, it just sort of happened. Definitely a ruined one lol
     
  16. gary170
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    gary170 Long term member

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    I have been playing with banding for a while and find it a little addictive I love the feeling :)
     
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  17. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    Yes, it can become additive as any other kinky sport.
    I think it is very important to get the objectives right. Banding is - to me - to us - NOT about getting the dick out of the equation. There is good use for this fellow still. He helps defining me as the man that my wife craves - and I like to be - her man, and it is a useful toy for her still, perhaps even more useful and enduring in this state of mind;-)

    Instead banding is about getting your selfish lust out of sight- out of mind. To rule out selfish lust as the reason for your pampering, your devotion. To get into the core of your love for your partner.
    Numbing must be - by far - the easiest system to adapt for the submissive , as well for the Lady/Domme. To me it makes me focus not only on my desire to please her, but also to focus on my work, to make an income - that helps in making the lifestyle longterm sustainable.

    I can easily understand that women can get a bit worried if there male counterparts gets too absorbed with the lifestyle and starts to limbo their careers and work.

    By numbing I can focus on my business still - without having had an orgasm and/or release of semen for almost 500 days!!
    And I can serve her in every way, with max performance, without ever having to be distracted by my body signals.
    And Yes, she says I perform oral even better now. To perfection! she says.....

    Still - be careful with banding. Listen to your body signals and go slow....
     
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  18. salonslave
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    salonslave I play for a living and work for fun.

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    I have read your story and I do understand your position, but I fear that you are flirting with necrosis.
    My best to you and your wife.
    Ss
     
  19. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    #69 BlueEyes, Dec 1, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2015
    Well, I would not let it come to that ( Had to look up the the word necrosis;-) ) And there is certainly no flirting here:) But hey concern is still in order and appreciated:) We are here to guide one another, right? :)


    May I add that the male often is giving a super sensitive cock way too much credit , - in the fine art of being a man. It sort defines who he is. There are so many more aspects to that status, and sometimes a super sensitive cock steals away the more refined flavors of manhood....
    Isn't it lovely to discover that there are in fact much more in the bucket - that holds You together as a man, than your cock?
     
  20. BlueEyes
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    #70 BlueEyes, Dec 14, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2016
    Another fortnight has passed , and I have been Sooooo busy rebuilding the first floor together with some contractors. Caused a bit of disturbance in the house and the "routines":) - but we have managed just fine. Have not been on CM as often as I should be, but things are getting better now, the main hurdles of the rebuilding has been taken care of.:)

    And all the time being a numb serving husband:) Have to admit that She has been very gentle and not being too demanding during the hectic times. Sweet I guess partly because she would love to see her new boudoir come to life as soon as possible- lol!

    On observation related to the numbing business. I was rebanded last night, but only after she had tested the "functionality" :) And she was very focused this time to see, now that I had told her that I could indeed start to feel sensation again, - if I would be capable of reaching the edge. So with mouth an hand she tested me , and after approx 5 minutes i was ready to pop. Good" - was all she said with a very pleased smile, and then she stopped and ordered me to do her with impeccable oral service.
    Right after She asked me to do the rebanding myself and to set the clock to 45 minutes, and then go to sleep.
    When I cut the band she was fast asleep. :)
     
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  21. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    Still going just fine! - The other day She did test to see if I could in fact reach the edge still, - here at the the end of a banding cycle, - and I could - after 25 minutes of teasing, blowing and biting. Of course she did not have me over the top, - but she was very pleased , and rebanded me right afterwards:):) Hard to say how much sensitivity has declined, but it has been a blessing for her ability to take good use of her toy...
     
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  22. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    Can I ask, would you be upset if you did permanently lose sensation in your penis? If it didn't remove your ability to get an erection?
     
  23. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    Ask anything:)
    I have not, and from what I have read- and that is a lot - loosing erection is not going to happen - at all! But a cock ring can come in handy, cause it sure seems as if the last 10 % of swelling is constrained somehow. It MUST be the lack of sensitive feedback.
    But it is fully functional , - and she is very pleased that it can endure endless PIV, teasing and biting;-)

    When it comes to sensation - It is a complete different ball game. The very purpose of banding is to make it numb, - so the success criteria is when she is performing and I feel nothing. The lack of sensation however declines over time, and my cycle is approx. 4 weeks. Then it is so sensitive again that it is time for rebanding - approx. 45 minutes- Very tight!

    But When I say that I feel nothing during PIV, or blows it is really not correct. I feel HER so much more than before where I had to concentrate hard on not to fall over the edge. I REALLY had to constrain myself, and all these efforts blocked me from truly enjoying her sensation and use of me. I can say that I enjoy her climaxes far more now. I can focus entirely on them:)
    Of course I am still horny inside, but it is not making its way to my member. It stays inside me as a wonderful , trembling feeling.


    Fact is - that I might permanently have lost some sensitivity, -but that is OK. Really! It only adds to the endurance, and my ability to focus on her needs and desires, -and that truly makes my day.

    The fact that I can offer her a flavor of chastity where she has no struggle with devices and such, and she can send me off on trips, knowing that I can't cheat - is priceless. Jerking off has no purpose! But as I wrote in the previous post - She likes the fact that at the end of a cycle she would in fact still be able to get me to the edge. And she misses out on absolutely nothing - she assures me - again and again. Her girlfriend Anne, - has also had the pleasure, and as my wife says: "Really not something to worry about, cause he won't feel a thing!"
     
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  24. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    Thank you so much for your answer. I must admit your description of your experiences has made me wish my Wife was willing to give this a go. I have discovered I have had a similar effect from wearing my Holy Trainer. Where the base of the tube fixes to the ring it presses onto the base of my penis. When I get an erection this gets pressed really hard. My Wife took me out the other day to make love to her and I was unable to cum, I had a ruined orgasm but I was not able to get to a full one. It doesn't last anywhere near as long as your banding does, but I was actually relieved when I couldn't cum. My Wife was a bit disappointed though...
     
  25. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    #75 BlueEyes, Apr 2, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2016
    We are rapidly approaching one full year of numbing and I am very confident that we - together - have found a safe balance, that makes this the thing to be.
    OK, the length of the banding has increased somewhat to 1 hour and the sessions are now every 10 days.
    The dorsal nerve can get used to the compressions and needs longer pressure to respond as anticipated.
    They sort of takes shelter and runs deeper.

    I will have to state again and again that we are all different. What My Lady can expose me to is not necessarily without risks for someone else.
    But with proper care, small steps and focus on your body-signals we have made it this far, and loves every step of the way. She has made me go without banding to the point where sensitivity is back ( somewhat) just to ensure that the process to some extend is reversible. Testing me and her enterprise. And then strictly band me again;-) - or lately made me do it myself - under her supervision. The process of banding takes 60 seconds- that is it!
    Yes I might hav lost some sensitivity - (even some for good), but that truly helps me through my day, makes me slip out of my horniness when needed, but also to endure "heavy duty exploitation" of my member;-) She does not have to be careful, she can go, whenever she likes and as long as she ( and Anne occasionally) likes.

    For us numbing simply takes away complications from the chastity equation:) And that suits her just fine, and makes this lifestyle a very very easy component to maintain in our relationship.- one could say...:)

    I am just one week away from 2 full years of no release and the last year in numb ( but still often erect position) has been a smooth ride - sort of speak.
    For some this lifestyle is about sufferings- and sufferings can be hard labor for the executor.
    Well not to us. To us it is all about her, and numbing seems to be the ticket på take away all of her hard work.

    I have no intention of being without a cock, nor does she. On the contrary. See. - it is the other way round.
    It has never been more useful to her than now:)

    Jens
     
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