So I introduced her to CM...

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Sipriotes, Oct 20, 2020.

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  1. Sipriotes
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    Sipriotes Slave to Artemistress

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    After years of lurking myself, I finally joined officially. Shortly thereafter I introduced my wife, who is my Mistress, to the site. All I can say is "be careful what you wish for"!

    We'd been playing around with kink, bondage, chastity, and elements of FLR and D/s for quite some time. During that time I've shared some of the things I've learned here with her. But it's different now that she can see and read everything first hand.

    Yesterday she mentioned to me several discoveries that she's had since being on here, and that these will influence our path forward with chastity and denial.

    One is the power of orgasm denial to focus a man's attention on female pleasure only. She has noticed it with me when I've been denied or locked before, but now she knows it's not an isolated incident. She is now fully committed to harnessing that power for herself.

    The second, and more scary for me, is that it is not necessary to ever grant an orgasm for that power to hold. She saw some postings mentioning that granting any release only serves as a distraction. Since my orgasm isn't necessary for her pleasure or satisfaction, there is no reason to allow me to have them on a regular basis. Plus, she says, I have had quite enough orgasms for one lifetime by my own hand :D

    So, Mistress has decided that starting now, I will exist in a permanent state of denial. There will be no "scheduled releases" or "rewards" for me to count on. Any future orgasms will be granted at her whim only. She has set a date of December 31, not for release, but for re-evaluation to confirm she is still getting the results she wants.

    We will also begin ramping up to 24/7 locking. The goal is to be able to wear one of my existing devices 24/7 by December 1.

    Mistress isn't entirely cruel, though. She agreed that if I can remain denied and locked until the new year, then I can invest in a custom device for permanent/long term wear.

    I now understand why so many have described it as "standing on the edge looking down". It's exciting and scary to think about what's coming next.
     
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  2. Jail Bird
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    Jail Bird Active member

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    Good for you and your Mistress wife. I do think we "cherry pick" certain things to share with our KH's that might be inline with our kink.
    Once your wife reads the many different things in our chastity world, WLM, etc. I think things are going to change for you (for the better of course).

    Love her comment about you staying locked and denied till the new year and you'll get a new custom belt to wear long term. LOL I love that. Your wife/Mistress sounds like fun. Enjoy your new lifestyle.
     
  3. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    Wow, the power of information. I'd like to say congratulations on her progress, but i'm not sure you're the one who should receive it, She seems to be the one who is now going to benefit most from your full time commitment to chastity. Perhaps that is how it should be, but you'll have to adjust now. Good luck and enjoy.
     
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  4. madams-sissysub
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    Congratulations on your progression! Enjoy it!
     
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  5. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Congrats!

    I remember when I first started and I had big plans. During the week we would have long teasing sessions as needed, and she would tell me when I was going to be released and cum. I would then take a break for a week or two and start again.

    Let’s just say it certainly didn’t go that way. Almost immediately she noticed that if we have a schedule or a release date, she wasn’t my key holder, the calendar was, so schedules were out. The long teasing sessions were so much about me and not her, that those were gone after a year. Then very soon after, my orgasms were basically an after thought and given as a gift and by no means obligated or necessary.

    Good luck, hope you enjoy what you asked for, I know my wife wouldn’t go back.
     
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  6. Jeanette_Phillips
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    That’s sound so exciting and progressive. Enjoy every minute and keep us informed.
     
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  7. TheEncoded
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    TheEncoded Member

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    Congrats to you and your Mistress on your progress.

    I recently found myself at a similar precipice. I was so stressed out by my revelation that my resting heart rate skyrocketed from <60 to like 90-100 for 3 days. I was all twisted up inside. Standing on the edge looking down indeed.

    I don't know how it is for you, but my mind likes to play the tape forward which gives me a lot of anxiety. Like I was calculating how many orgasms i'd have for the rest of my life if my wife did was she said she would. It stressed me out. I find it best to just focus on the here and now. I'm not going to get an orgasm today and that's OK and manageable. Of course we're also at a stage where I'm pretty sure one is coming soon enough. So maybe this is all just easy for me to say.
     
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  8. Manalba
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    Manalba Enthralled by Artemis.

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    So true.
    The calendar sets the expectation and the countdown begins whether you know it or not.

    A bit of certain uncertainty, with a hint of randomness - it's what we crave.
     
  9. LukeVallentine
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    LukeVallentine Active member

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    The only way to go. Congrats!
     
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  10. MrsBR_Saiph
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    MrsBR_Saiph Hotwife & Keyholder
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    We have never used the calendar to schedule release, other than this month knowing he is locked for locktober. Leaving the decision up to the whim of the keyholder is far more effective at harnessing the sexual energy of our men and directing it to what is pleasing to us. If a man knows when release is scheduled he is far more likely to disconnect from our desires. If a man knows there is always hope his willingness to do anything and everything for us increase dramatically. Enjoy
     
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  11. Sipriotes
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    Sipriotes Slave to Artemistress

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    I think that's going to be the key to all this. My orgasms are about ME, not HER. We rarely had PIV sex and she never gave me oral, so 99% of the orgasms I've had barely involved her, if at all. It was incredibly selfish of me and it would be more selfish still if that's what I focused on while denied.

    This isn't to say that I am being a totally selfless chastity martyr here, lol. Giving up my orgasms will free us up to explore the many other aspects of our sexuality that we can enjoy together, all of which are immensely better than a quick wank. In my view it's giving up a little bit to gain a lot.
     
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  12. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Active member

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    I think it is nice my wife has an account here and if she likes what she sees that's great. Honestly, if she picks up something from here that she really likes that she might have never thought of trying... I'd give it a thumbs up.
     
  13. Alceste
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    Alceste Chaste Member

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    My keyholder and I just count up. No scheduled release date.
     
  14. BR_Saiph
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    BR_Saiph Self-published author

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    I get your panic and I also look at it as one day at a time. To look too far forward (beyond moments of fun talk with @MrsBR_Saiph ) is to feel my mind snapping at the impossibility of it all.
    There's no way a man can go 'that' long, right?! Yeah right, queue evil laughter...
     
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  15. ChasteCel
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    ChasteCel 7/6 on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale

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    My wife has always taken the viewpoint that she decides when I get to come. It's always her whim. It's been quite a ride because of that.

    Looks like you're about to start it. Good luck!!
     
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  16. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    Is your wife going to join. It would be interesting to hear her perspective
     
  17. krystalasbaby
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    krystalasbaby krystalasbaby

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    I don't live with my Mistress, but chastity came up in talks along time ago. Once it did Mistress never let the topic go. I like so many thought i would earn the chance to cum. No such luck, the is a gift offered far and few between and when it is she is there watching that i re lock immediately after. It has now been 2 yrs since the last time i was given permission to cum
     
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  18. Samir
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    Samir Member

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    Same with me, Before I introduced her to this site She was doing all these stuffs as per my perspective but after joining the site She has became more dominant and independent. Now she also discusses here new stuffs/ideas and sometimes on keyholders forum where I can not even comment on her posts.
     
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