Six Month mark.

Discussion in 'Chastity in vanilla life' started by jb123, Sep 30, 2018.

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  1. jb123
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    jb123 Active member

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    Hi all.

    I have a question to all.

    Its been six Months since Mrs.B and I have started dabbling in the Male Chastity lifestyle.

    In that time, I have had significant changes to my routine.

    1. I no longer can Masturbate at will. I must obtain permission from Mrs.B before I get any release. Permission is usually granted but not always.

    2. My Groin is hairless at nearly all times thanks to both of us going for Waxing appointments. Before, I would keep it trimmed or shaved at random. Now I have to wait a month before any sign of hair. I love the feeling though of smoothness, especially on my Balls.

    3. I have been Pierced with a Prince Albert ring and have Graduated from a Holy Trainer to a custom MCN Contender with a PA hook ensuring 100% security. The PA was my first piercing Ever. When I first slid into my new cage, It kind of overwhelmed me a bit knowing this cage wasn't coming off without the key!!!

    In the six months Mrs.B has gone from nearly resistant to the whole Idea of locking my (her) penis away to now "sort of" embracing it and having some fun.

    She still is hesitant about crossing the line and upsetting me and not to say there have not been disagreements on both our parts that have led to arguing.

    My Question is.

    For the more seasoned among us in this lifestyle. For the Women that start out as Vanilla, is there still some hesitancy to go full "DOM" mode after you have been locked for some time? Of course BDSM play is all about consent, and no person should do things they are uncomfortable with, that includes KH as well IMO. Lockees should be patient about giving the KH control if they aren't ready to take the reins all at once.

    I guess what I'm getting at, Was Control handed over all at once or did it come in increments? I would love to hear some of you guys and ladies feedback.
     
  2. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Active member

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    Very much in increments here. My wife has gone from completely vanilla 10 years ago, to discussing increasing periods of lockup a couple of years ago, and this year she's fully into my chastity as a lifestyle, with me being locked up now being our default.

    Whether the transition is done quickly or slowly, to enable a "reluctant dom" to take control, the important thing is that you must release control.
     
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  3. Dumb1
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    Dumb1 senior member

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    I agree with the above totally, there is no norm it is totally down to allowing the keyholder to set theirown pace and schedule at a pace that suits them. enjoy.
     
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  4. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    Very much an incremental thing. Relationships have to proceed at their own pace. Force it at your peril.

    Congratulations on your experiences to date. Keep it up!
     
  5. Krissyhuntley
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    Krissyhuntley Renn Locked

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    I have had it both ways. I was married for over ten years and the last five were a gradual buildup from pure vanilla to chastity play to full denial and cuckolding. The cuckolding was the downfall of the marriage. She fell in love and got pregnant, I was given an option to leave so I did. It became very toxic. Now I will only date women or men that are into the lifestyle. It is amazing to start out completely honest about your feelings, desires and fetishes.
     
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  6. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    We’ve been in this lifestyle for over 8 and 1/2 years and we’re not what you call “Full Dom” we’ve never been into titles or definitions we’ve built our relationship how we or mostly how she wants to. Their is no rule book on Chastity only different peoples experiences and ideas. The most important thing is and I can’t stress this enough is “Your Love and commitment to Each Other “

    Not Mastarbating any more, staying locked. Even keeping your self smooth and hairless are your way of showing your love and commitment to your lovely wife. Their is no magic switch where you or her go from normal every day (boring people) to Dom and sub it takes time. Time that is different for everyone and how far they go is also different. Becoming 100% Dom or sub may never happen and it really doesn’t matter. I know for us it hasn’t happened and probably never will.

    It sounds like you have a fantastic relationship, nothing else is more important than that.

    Thanks for sharing
     
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  7. Allen1987
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    Allen1987 All for Her

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    We have been at this for about 6.65 years first 5.5 pretty vanilla. I think She was warming up before
    She made a big change. There are so many things we learn along the way that can really get people
    stuck with feelings they don't need to have.

    This is so true. You know there are fantasies and there are real lives that you call a lifestyle. I didn't
    start because of a fantasy, it just evolved to where we are today. @Mash2214 is so right, you two
    make your own rules and communication is the utmost.

    Most have this because of preconceived ideas. Communicate often, you can't find the answer on
    page 112. This is all you two and you two make what it becomes. Just take it slow and let her grow
    into it. Enjoy your time together and don't think ahead. I went from max 2 weeks to 121 days. I
    can tell you She must of been thinking about it for a while. Enjoy the ride and......

    When you have that, you will get there.:+1:
     
  8. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Although what we do sexually is probably deemed more vanilla now than when we started, I would say she is more “domme” now than then.

    I think many of the activities that we used to do, she did from reading about male chastity, FLR, and submissive men. Pegging, milking, ruined orgasms, outfits, and long teasing sessions. She let me out of my cage almost daily to tease or rub.

    As time went on, and her comfort level went up, she no longer felt obligated to do things that are “typical” domme fare. It’s been a few years since I have been pegged, milked, or had a long teasing session just to tease.

    Her being domme is expecting me to pleasure her with my mouth and fingers when she wants, to caress and fondle her while she uses the wand on herself, to have the dildo and harness ready to wear when she wants to have sex. She expects me to worship her pussy, ass, feet, and to rub and treat her entire body like it is special. She expects me to be caged at all times unless she feels like playing with it. She expects me to keep well groomed and and my body hairless. She expects me to do little things that make her life easier, she expects me to do things around the house in my role. She expects me to keep her informed of my subbieness.

    She in turn is expected to keep me interested in chastity. To listen to my needs, to keep me in line, and to stoke the fires that make me a good partner.

    So a lot of the kinky domme stuff has disappeared, but I think she is more domme now then she ever was.
     
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  9. Breathe
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    Breathe Be true to yourself

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    Slow but steady wins the race. I don't think TPEs can truly develop overnight, particularly in a pre-existing relationship.

    Some elements of control are fabulous, others not so much. It takes some time for both sides to sort out what works from what doesn't. Commitment to communication (and each other) is key! You'll learn a lot about each other that way - lots of which might surprise you. ;)
     
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  10. Guest 3927
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    Guest 3927 Member

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    Can’t believe it been six months.... let’s be real babe .... I’m never going to be dom and I don’t think we are vanilla either... I think we just do things differently.... we also have to factor in that I have anxiety and depression and that plays a big factor ... we haven’t been arguing as much ..... but I believe we are doing good sweetie . We are definitely learning a whole lot about each other ... and like I said tonight papa God is giving a new love for each other .... I will say this I love you more now then ever and I don’t and will not anyone else beside me in this journey called life ... I love you teddy bear @jb123
     
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  11. jb123
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    jb123 Active member

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    I love you to Babe. Thank you for taking the plunge in this new lifestyle with me. I hope to make more discoveries about this going forward. You are my one and only.
     
  12. Guest 3927
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    Guest 3927 Member

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    I love you more babe ..... you are my teddy bear
     
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  13. Giveitup
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    Giveitup Active member

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    Get a room!

    (Just kidding! You two showing your love and willingness to work hard to make chastity work for you both, and make it work your way, is quite admirable. Others are jealous. Okay, I don't know that for sure, but I am jealous!)
     
  14. luckyhubby83
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    luckyhubby83 Active member

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    Glad to hear your strides being made.
    8months in and my wife seems to be embracing things with comfort and really enjoying the perks of the new found power.
     
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  15. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    The most important thing is to realize that there is no right or wrong. You and she can do whatever feels right for you. I've been locked more or less 24/7 for over a year now. She decides when I am unlocked and what happens then, while I pleasure her orally or manually most nights. Beyond that, not much has changed. From the outside, we are very traditional. She can assume as much or as little control as she and you agree to, and it will be fine.
     
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