Our chastity story, without the typical D/s relationship

Well said, and that's exactly right. The only "rule" that we're following is we have to have fun. Ours is a totally different dynamic to yours, because your wife knows exactly what she wants, whereas we're just figuring it out as we go along. But I do love that she said she wanted me to re-lock after our ski-trip break, and then she checked that I did, that was amazing!

 

So today marks 2 months since my last full orgasm, and I think we've set the date for the next one as April 5th. April 1st will be 90 days, so I'd like to reach that milestone, and my wife is going out of town for the weekend on April 7th, so if we sneak an orgasm in just before then, she won't need to witness the refractory period. Win win.

Last Friday morning I had to clear the snow from the drive and right after I came back indoors, I got incredible ball ache, so I needed a warm shower to fix it. If you think about it, normally when you go out in the cold, your balls stay indoors to avoid it, but they can't do that when you're wearing a cage. Anyway, later that evening we were going back out in the cold for a concert, so we decided that I should go unlocked to avoid any mishaps, so that's what we did. I stayed unlocked overnight and then the next morning I tried on a new cage that had arrived a few days earlier. This was a 3d printed "Cobra" style cage. Unfortunately, it started to sting right away, probably due to plastic on skin that was still raw from wearing the metal cage for so long. So I asked my wife if I could be unlocked for a while and she agreed. I have found that I have enough self control to stay chaste while unlocked, so I am still orgasm free. If we see change in my mood or anything, I'll lock right back up, but for now my goal is to just let myself heal down there, as I can still feel the imprint of the base ring on the back of my balls.

 

I'm a bit overdue for an update here. I had been unlocked since Feb 25th when I unlocked to go to a concert. Originally, it was just meant to be for the concert as it was cold out, but I decided I preferred being unlocked and asked permission to stay unlocked which was granted. However, I still remained chaste, I had set April 1st as my goal as that would be 90 days since my last full O. And man, that last week was difficult! If I hadn't of been so close to my goal I never would have made it. Unfortunately, by the time April 1st rolled around, I had what I thought was a bad cold (later turned out to be covid) and so, when my wife tried to give me a handjob, it just wasn't happening. I don't know if it was the covid or the long abstinence, but I wasn't getting hard and certainly no juices were flowing. So the next day, I pulled one off in the shower, but even then it felt more like a ruined O but at least it gave me some relief.

On the night before my wife left town, I gave myself another O and this one was a little bit more like it, but I did have a strange experience and this was undoubtedly due to the long time without orgasms. When I started to cum, I felt a bolt of electricity run down each of my legs. I can't quite say if it was painful or pleasurable, as it was somewhere in between, but I've certainly never felt anything like it before.

There's another new development. As most of you know, when you order things from China they can take forever to arrive. I had ordered another cage before I decided to go un-caged and it arrived during my unlocked period. There had been several days during the unlocked period where I had tried on a cage or two, just to see if it felt right but it never did and I took them off again. But this new cage had just been sitting there and I decided to give it a go over the weekend when my wife was out of town. I wore it all day and then took it off before she got home, but it felt good. I then wore it for a portion of the next day and it still felt good. I was still hesitant to try it overnight as all of my previous cages had caused me to wake up when the nocturnal erections came. I had developed some good strategies on how to deal with them, but I was awake none the less. But on Tuesday of last week I put the cage on as soon as I woke up and just kept it on and it's been on ever since, and night times are amazing! It's not causing me any discomfort at all.

My wife was surprised to see me chose to lock-up again, as I think we both thought that phase of the journey was done, but so far I'm really liking being back in my cage. Who knows what's next as far as that goes, but I've already handed over the keys, so we'll see.

For anyone interested in the new cage that's so comfortable, you can get it on ebay for just $14: https://www.ebay.com/itm/293156642997

As far as our relationship goes, every thing is still wonderful. I give my wife a neck and foot massage most nights and we cuddle a lot and we're still feeling really close to each other. I'm still amazed that chastity totally revived our relationship, but it did.

 

I hadn't expected to be posting another update so soon, but yesterday my wife told me she was feeling horny, so we headed upstairs to take care of that. First she had me go down on her, which I did, then she asked me to switch to fingering so I could move up to see her, then after a couple of Os that way, she squeezed a few more out using her vibrator. At that point I thought we were done and was feeling quite content, but then she reached over to get the key and took my cage off herself. Then she started giving me a blowjob, eventually switching up to a handjob before letting me finish off myself. And of course, as soon as we were done, I immediately locked back up and returned the key. Turned out to be quite the evening. It had been 13 days since she last asked for an orgasm for herself.

 

Last night in bed my wife said we should plan for a play session after her morning workout class tomorrow, and true to her word at around 11am today she called out "where's my sex slave???" When I got into the bed room she was already lying there in nothing but her favorite sexy bra and panties. I stripped off and slid over next to her and started kissing her, then looked at her as if to say "so what's on the menu today?" Reading my mind, she said she was trying to decide between oral and fingers. She decided a good fingering was in order, so I set about doing my duty. It didn't take her long to reach orgasm, which was nice for her as sometimes she gets female "performance anxiety" where she can't orgasm.

Then she asked what I wanted and I said that I'd like some anal play, as that's something we haven't done together before. I have a dildo with a suction cup base, so I have done myself but I've never been done by someone else, so this was a totally new experience for both of us. I asked if she wanted to do it by hand or using a strap-on harness, and she elected to do it by hand. So I lubed up and got things started by putting it in myself, then assumed the position and let her take over, and man, was that amazing! I wasn't sure if I'd cum from this but could feel myself getting close, but when we stopped I did feel down there and discovered that I had done quite a bit of leaking, so that was pretty cool!

She let me unlock for a couple of minutes to clean up and do a quick inspection as I've had this new cage on for about 12 days straight, and everything looked good. I asked "is there anything else you want to do while I'm unlocked or should I lock back up?" and she said to lock back up!!! She's learning!!!

She then grabbed her little vibrator to see if she could give herself another O, and as she wasn't using the wand, I asked her to pass it over so I could use it. This was a funny sight, the two of us sitting there in bed both using vibrators. I had permission to cum but it didn't get there this time, which is totally fine with me.

I had mentioned to her earlier that I sometimes use another vibrator for some prostate relief and she didn't remember what that one looked like, so I showed her and asked if she wanted a demonstration, which she did, so I used that on myself for a little bit with her watching. I didn't get any precum from that one, probably because I'd used it all up earlier, lol.

This was a fantastic way to start the day. My wife and I are at a really great place now, where we are laughing and having fun with this, and it now feels like nothing is taboo, we can try anything.

 

Thanks Raychel, it really has been life changing. I mean, we've always loved each other but we'd sort of become more like roommates rather than lovers, our sex life was non existent, then I discovered chastity and it changed everything. We're not even being particularly kinky, we're just having fun and loving it.

 

So my current caged run started on April 12, since then I've had the following unlocks
* 4/16 - off for about an hour for play
* 4/17 - off for the night due to discomfort (probably didn't put it back on properly yesterday)
* 4/20 - had my accidental caged O, so took it off for 5 mins to clean
* 4/24 - anal dildo session with leaking, so took it off for 5 mins to clean

So, I was feeling like it was time for a stretch, so my lovely wife unlocked me yesterday for about an hour and she gave me, what I call, a penis massage, which gave me a nice erection (it was nice to know it still worked, lol). While we were doing this, we had a nice chat and talked about fantasies, during which I reminded her that I would like to try some spanking. We have done it a couple of times, but very lightly. I said it would be so great if she initiated it, rather than me saying "would you spank me please?". I mentioned this thread where a woman had had a shit week and decided to make the weekend was going to be good by giving her man a good thrashing, and where she said the endorphin rush that she got fixed everything. My wife said she would never be that woman. Anyway, when she was done I gave myself a quick clean as I was unlocked anyway, even though my caged cleaning have been working perfectly, and then I re-locked for the night.

So, that was last night, this morning she had to run off for a dental appointment, then when she returned she came into the room with one of my spanking straps saying "time for your punishment!!!". So, I wasted no time getting naked and assuming the position. She started with my spanking strap, then switched to a riding crop, then I suggested she try the leather belt from my jeans, and finally a bamboo cane. There were certainly times when it was hurting but I persevered, and the caning felt the best!!! I can still feel it a bit now, a few hours later. Before I got dressed, she said she wanted to take a photo!!! Afterwards, I asked her how it was for her, like what did she feel during the process. She said it was giving her some relief, like she could see how she could work out some stress by spanking me!!! Yay!!!

 

I haven't updated this journal since April 30th, so it's time for a catchup.

I wore the cage almost 24/7 from April 13 to June 9th, with it mostly only coming off for playtime with my wife.

On June 10, at around 3:30am, I had to take it off because of nighttime pain, and we ended up leaving it off, and to be honest, we both thought we were done with the cage side of things. Now, even though I was unlocked, I still remained chaste and didn't resume masturbating.

In terms of our sex life, when we first started chastity there was a stretch were I was allowed to give her an O every other day, but then this sort of drifted into becoming once a week, then once every 2 weeks and eventually once every 3 weeks. I was getting frustrated with this as I wanted more and eventually my mind started going back to the cage. Then, as Locktober was just a few months away, I was thinking I'd like to participate as I started too late for it in 2021, so I started putting the cage on at night, secretly, on Aug 22 and then on Aug 24 I put it on for good and I told my wife the next day. I think wearing the cage was my solution to being frustrated at our lack of sexual activity. I like the constant low-level arousal that it give, and it somehow makes me more content. I kept it on continuously for the next 30 days, but I eventually had to take it off on Sept 24 because I had some chaffing that I needed to let heal. Thanks to a tip on these forums, I bought some Shea Butter to help with the chaffing.

On Sept 25 my wife gave me a nice BJ, taking advantage of me being unlocked before Locktober starts. Somehow I got the impression that this might be an everyday thing for the next few days leading up to Locktober, but sadly that wasn't the case, so I relocked early on Sept 29. But then the next day she did unlock me for a tickle and a BJ as it was the night before Locktober, and I immediately relocked afterwards.

So now it's day 1 of Locktober, it's also 50 days since my last O, and day 3 of my current lockup. There were a couple of times during my previous 30 day lockup where an O would have been on offer, but I preferred to stay locked.

 

Right after I posted the last update, my wife surprised me by initiating a play session where I gave her an O by fingering then she gave herself a few more with her vibrator, and while she did that I used her wand on myself but wasn't able to reach an O doing it (the one time I did that I used it for a lot longer). Then today she wanted another session, which started off the same with me giving her a fingering O and then we both used vibrators, then she grabbed a cane and gave me a 50 stroke caning, which felt really good.

Oh yeah, I bought a new cage which got delivered this week, it's the "Easy to Pee" model by Badass Workroom, so I've been wearing that since Thursday and so far so good, I'm liking it, nighttime erections are less painful.

Today is day 57 since my last orgasm (of any kind).

 

Lol, I don't think so, the BAWR one is my first new one in a while, I was using the A257 for a long time. Having said that, once Locktober is over I do plan on doing some proper measurements with a view to maybe ordering a custom case from BAWR.

 

The day after my last update, I had a caged, ruined orgasm in the shower, from the shower water! Some context is probably needed here, my wife had left me home alone in the morning, so I first gave myself a spanking, then I put in a butt plug, then I got in the shower. I have an adjustable shower head where, when it's in between settings, there is a fairly solid stream of water that has always proven quite pleasurable to put yourself under, and that's what I did. Now, I have done this many times before without ever coming close to an O, but this time I was feeling it, so I grabbed the lid off of one of my aerosol cans and was able to capture the load when it was released, so I could consume it of course.

 

Quick status update, my last full O was on Aug 12, so today marks 3 months (or 92 days). I've had 2 caged, ruined Os in that time, from shower water no less.

I re-locked after a break on Aug 24, so that's already 80 days ago. I've been locked the whole time since then, except for a 5-day break on Sept 24-28 to let some chaffing heal, so 75 days locked.

My new BAWR cage arrive on Oct 5 so I switch to that (from my A259 cage), and the key hasn't been in the lock since then. I think one thing that's made it possible is the Shea Butter that someone recommended here, that has really helped eliminate any chaffing and it sooths ring burn on the rare occasion that I still get some. I've also been using a piece of rolled up tissue paper to stop my foreskin from protruding and getting irritated.

 

This month is my one year chastity anniversary so it's time to re-assess and re-evaluate. While my wife has been very kind and loving, she's only been putting up with chastity, or going along with it, rather than embracing it and taking control. Whenever we've discussed it, the first thing she always says is, that she's not dominant. I've tried explaining that I don't need her to change her personality and become somebody else, but I think she's always had a cartoon image of a whip-wielding dominatrix in her head. My chastity experience has mostly been me self-locking so far.

Anyway, I felt it was time to stir things up a bit, so I wrote her an email saying that I planned to stop chastity on Dec 11, but that anytime she wanted us to start back up, I'd be totally willing. She was surprised, she said she wished we could get all the changes that we've experience without the cage, but should would like to continue. I explained that the fact that I've been driving this all this time is what's known as "topping from the bottom" and that for us to continue, it really needs to be with her driving. It just so happened that we were going out to eat right about the time that I sent the email, so we had a chance to discuss things on the drive and over dinner. It was SO great to talk this through and it really made us feel SO much closer to each other. That night I gave her the key.

I had recently given her some reading material that I thought might help. I had sent her links to @MsPamela 's thread "A New Chapter Unfolds" and @longtallsally 's thread "Deep breath. And... relax. Here goes", as I felt that it might help her to read the journals of ladies who sound very similar to her, kind and loving and not looking to torture their husbands.

The next morning, we talked some more (she started the conversation) and she said she finally gets it, like a light went on, or the penny dropped. She couldn't quite explain why she hadn't got it before, but a lot of it was worrying about me and what I want, a lot of turning positives into negatives, or feeling guilt that she wasn't doing enough, or the right thing, etc. But now, she said, she's going to focus on what she wants, her own pleasure. This is a major breakthrough, she said that she's already decided how long I should stay locked for, but she didn't tell me!

Very soon after our conversation, she ordered me to get showered and shaved. She likes me clean shaven if I'm going to get busy with her. Then after our showers, she had me lick her and then finger her to orgasm. Then she grabbed her vibrator to squeeze a few more out, and she handed me the wand for me to take care of myself. She said I could cum as long as it was ruined. I stayed locked.

So what do you think guys? We might be doing it for real this time!!!

 

@littleguy Yes, totally

 

When I first started this thread, I showed it to her, so she has been here before and and read a little. Now she's considering creating her own account.

 

We've had a few ups and downs since my last post here. While it really seemed like she was finally understanding what chastity is all about, and I was certainly excited to see what would happen next, things very quickly returned to normal after that weekend, and it got me quite down. I'd obviously set up some unrealistic expectations. So we had some more talks, and during the talks she said she wanted to unlock me that night. However, once we got to bed she said she was too tired (first hint of control there), so we took a rain check till the next night. That night (which was a Thursday), she asked me if I wanted to cum, so I asked if she wanted to have more fun over the weekend, to which she said yes, so I suggested a ruined instead, so I'd still be in the game, and that's what we did. It was already about 4 months since my last full O, so I was surely ready, but I could certainly wait a few more days. The next night she let me service her. It took a really long time to get her going (she later told me she wasn't completely in a horny mood that evening), but once I got her there, man, it was like fireworks, it was the biggest O I think she's ever had, it was amazing. Then afterwards, she unlocked me and played with me to get me erect, then (feeling quite pleased with herself) she asked "now what can we do with that?" and I suggested that she jump on top for some PIV, which she gladly did. That was our first PIV since July 4th.

As a reminder, post-menopause PIV has been difficult for her as she's somewhat closed up which makes it a bit painful, but we've discovered that if we try it after she's had an O, it goes a lot better. So we had a nice bit of PIV, just enough to keep us both happy with no cumming involved! Then on Sunday (Dec 10), it was my turn and this time I was going to have a full O. She started off giving me a BJ, which felt absolutely incredible, and it brought me right to the edge but not over it, so we switched things up, we grabbed a dildo which she worked into my ass, while I finished things off myself. I came into a cup and she pointed to it and said "thirsty?" lol, so of course I had to consume it. Then I locked myself back up, not wanting to spend too much time unlocked, because, as I understand it, the quicker you relock, the less you drop.

For me, thankfully, the post-O drop is just a reduction in horniness, I don't seem to have much mood change, or bad behavior. On Saturday, she told me that if I folded the laundry and wrapped the presents, there'd be a reward for me, so needless to say I got busy with it all. Then in the evening she told me to follow her upstairs, and like a puppy I did. We had some really nice cuddles, then she told me to get to work, so I got busy with my fingers. This time around though, it wasn't enough to get her over the edge, so she finished things with her vibrator. Then she turned to me and said "now what can we do for you?" to which I replied "what CAN you do? I'd be happy enough with a ball tickle" to which she said "Oh, I wasn't planning to unlock you" (meaning that a ball tickle was probably the MOST I could expect, lol). DAMN, I think she's getting it.

Now if you recall back to my previous post here, back on Dec 3, she had said that she'd come up with a date for my next O, though she didn't tell me what it was, and it was obvious that the unlocks that I had on Dec 8 & 11 were un-scheduled, so on the 8th I asked her what date she originally had in mind when she said she had a date, and she told me the date was Feb 14, 2023 and I was thinking "damn, she was going to keep me locked for 2.5 months", so I had to tell her that I was impressed. Previously she would likely have thought that was too cruel, but not now. Well, fast forward to this weekend and she tells me that she thinks the Feb 14 date won't work because we're going on vacation on Feb 18 and she's going to want some sexual play then, so better to save it and keep me horny. Like WOW!!! Then after a little while I asked her whether she was just planning to delay my next O until Feb 14, or was she planning to keep me locked until then, and she replied "well, both I guess because usually when we unlock you, you have an orgasm". So, I had to remind her that there are other things that we do that don't involve orgasms, but I dunno, I have a feeling I might stay locked until we're on vacation, and that's assuming she unlocks me even then! So that means Christmas and New Years locked!!! That's so scary and exciting at the same time. I'm finally getting the feeling that I am now locked for her, rather than doing it for myself.