After being in full time chastity for the last few months, my unpredictable wife has changed the rules again. She loves the attention and likes that I can't have orgasms without her consent, but she has never liked the cage. She has never touched it and will barely look at it. She has claimed to be sort of an unwilling participant in my chastity kink. She only recently agreed to hide the key from me. After a long conversation she suggested that I wear the cage when she tells me to and I will have to maintain chastity using mostly the honor method. My only small victory in the change is that she has to look at it and touch it sometimes. It doesn't sound like a lot, but if she touches it, hopefully she will begin to like it. I accepted her offer because in the end, she makes the rules and her comfort with chastity is very important. We sealed the deal with some passionate sex. Has anyone else had to deal with a similar situation?
I am on the honor system too. I do wear a cage for at least a week to 10 days each month, otherwise, I am not locked. However, I am not to masturbate ever without the wife's knowledge and approval. She stays home all the time, so it is difficult to have any private time anyway.
The honor system woukd not work for me I have no self control in that department. I wish I did but instead I live in total lock down.
I've basically used honor system on and off with caging. Even if I was caged, my Domme was online so trust and commitment was a big part of it. There is a different feel to being locked, especially when it is almost constant, but primary goal is being chaste and surrendering your freedom to choose if or when you can cum. As you said, if wife wants it then do it that way. It can be satisfying.
If both people aren't into it, anything will eventually start to get lame or not interesting. Just keep that communication open and be honest. You might even have some suggestions; some of the best suggestions I have given my wife are things that amuse her. She prefers a good daily laugh with weekly physical intimacy than the other way around.
The honour system would work for nus in that I would not cheat but We both get a lot more out of the fact that I'm locked by and for her, can't pull out and more to the point Can't cheat is a hell of a lot better for us both than I May Not
Thanks all. I guess I will roll with it. Full time chastity was very difficult anyway. I do miss wearing the cage. We were cuddling this morning and she started teasing me and one thing led to another and we had sex again. Twice in three days is sort of a record. I guess we are doing something right. It could be the fact that there is no pressure on her now. Could be the beginning of a great year.
It seems like she is apprehensive and needs some culturing on why she should prefer it and enjoy it. I suppose a person could start masturbating to porn 16 times a day and using the honour system to tell her. It may create an opening for a conversation regarding her apprehension. A lot of women started out like this, and tend to grow with you if it is put on the table the right way for them. I might also think to have her read a chastity blog by women for women, or a book, type thing. I really don't know the whole story, but it seems like she is on the edge as it is, and might just need a little guidance, or some things to draw it out of her, like a sexual favours wager or contest. It seems like she just needs the right parts of her imagination tinkered with slightly.
I had this conversation with my wife. My wife could never understand why I needed to wear a cock cage to be so attentive and loving. This was a big problem a couple of years ago for us. Since lockdown, working up in the attic/office it was simply too easy to crack one off quickly - which I did on a daily basis in the end!! I explained this to my wife who simply said “cage him”. Therefore, I was locked back in in November 26th and that’s where we still are. No Xmas release. But my wife now understands the psyche of male chastity a little better now. And actually seems happier now I cannot play with myself whenever I want! AND she has started teasing more. I LOVE it when she strokes the cage or squeezes my squished balls - it comes across as being a sort of acceptance of the cage and to me, that is part of what makes this so hot. Just knowing she accepts the metal cage by feeling it and stroking it with her fingers and NOT saying it should come off is just the biggest turn on there is!
I am hoping for the same reaction from my wife. If she can at least touch the cage and not be revolted by it, then I think we could get there. It seems to be a very slow and deliberate process with her.
She is very vanilla and it has taken years to get here. The fact that she will use it when she wants is a big step. I think you are right and it might be time to introduce some literature to her. Maybe now she will read it.
You must not live in the States, here the honor system is the preferred method. It can be difficult when you feel the need. The cage also fulfills my need to be kinky which helps.
Maybe it's little weird to her because it's new to her. Would take some more adjustment for her. Maybe she feels unsure about it. Give her a little time and let's see how it develops. Maybe you could pamper her little extra while locked up so she see the value in keeping you locked.
I agree. I will keep up the pampering when I am locked. I am locked today and she did pay the cage through my pants. That is a big step. I have been cleaning and helping around the house while locked. Hopefully it's a one step back and then two steps forward process.
Know exactly where you re coming from. I brought it up 5 yrs ago and she wouldnt have it. Then middle of last year I confessed my daily masturbation habit and offered her the keys. She hates the device but wont stand for my masturbation. Said she had no choice, and hid the keys. Honor wont work for me as I dont have any self control. We cuddle every day. Had more piv in 6 months than last 6 yrs. Love and appreciate her more than ever. She is the only person in the world to control my coming, ever.