My unexpected life

As this started as play for me the fact that I am here starting this journal is at best described as odd. Odd in a sense that I never in all my years thought I would find the idea of someone as beautiful as my wife/Goddess wanting to explore this area of play. Truth is play has turned into a life choice and now I am left wondering when and if I will ever get out of the device that now harnesses every sexual thought I have. Below is a brief entry that I started on my own. Since I found this site I figured this was a s good a place as any. Many of you have met me before on Chastitylifestyle as It's_to_late-probably the best screen name for what has become a situation that is too late to go back in. ;-)

It started as a game and now it is no longer that. What was a dare and a thought that she would never has turned into what will she do next. Having held the keys or at least the knowledge of how to get the keys in the past I never fully experienced this level of frustration. Now as I asked my Goddess to hold the keys just one time for real, I found more than I bargained for. I wanted to see what it was like to not know when I would be out.

The when has turned into if. Goddess has embraced the role and is so much enjoying her newfound power. Even as I type this, my mind is going crazy with the longing of her touch. I can see her smile and hear her devious little giggle in my mind with each and every breath I take. I can smell the scent of her body lotion with each passing breeze.

She now tells me that she is enjoying the power she holds and is even more fascinated by the tease and denial articles she is reading. My mind spins with fear as I know of my anxiety now and it is with nothing but her little caresses that I experience any tease now. As she prepares me for the next part of a journey I thought I was preparing her for the irony is all to painfully clear that it is now the dominate one who has become the submissive spirit. My mind swirls with anticipation of when we will be together alone again. Will it be the time I will be released or will she yet introduce me to more experiences I though would never happen?

As a very masculine person I would have never entertained the idea of wearing feminine clothing and yet it is now a requirement should I ever want any type of release. Just the other day I was ordered to pick out my own hosiery while with her. I cant phantom where this is going but yet I long for it to continue. Is this what others experience? Is this new life now party of a new destiny? Is the passion we share for each other now, more intense than ever before, a result of this play now become lifestyle? How do you keep on track in everyday life when every waking thought is about her?

 

Well here it is only a couple of days after my first post and already I find myself in more trouble. Turns out my Goddess has been spending some time on these forums and through a mutual friend they conspired and I now have a pair of locking high heels inbound. I was even made to order them per her instructions. I can't see wearing them at all but I have been told that there will be no release until such time as I do. Seems I have very few decisions to make on this one.

Not much more to write today as it has been a busy work day. Probably a good thing to keep me busy, as it keeps my mind from wondering into my captivity. Warmest regards to all of you out there.

 

As the journey continues I have found a big part of me that has been missing for some time. In my role as a dominate I always found myself wanting more. The sexual high I expected was there but not in the intensity I desired.

Now as I have let go of that role and found myself submitting to my Wife/Goddess I have found this high that never subsides. As each day passes I find I am still wanting more and she is in every thought.

The normal frustrations continue to exsit the 3AM erection in a device is still a huge annoyance. Most of the time I can sleep through them now. Last night however I must have moaned or something as I got up to walk a bit and help releive the pressure I got back in bed to find my Goddess all to willing ot make sure I kept her on my mind. she just giggled and asked if I was having trouble sleeping tonight. When I said a little she put her hand on my device and said here let me hold you a bit. Such a devious woman she has become. Even though the room was dark I could sense her warm smile on her face as she quickly drifted off to sleep with me there in her grasp and right back to wear I began minutes earlier.

The night ended quickly and as I stood in the shower this morning cleaning my self while still in chastity she popped her head in and asked how I slept. I know she had no intention of hearing my answer as she walked out and said see you at breakfast. Al I could think was I love this woman, I want this woman, and I need this woman. Then the flash back hit me and I think I finally have found what I have been missing all the time. I wonder how many other Dom's have converted to a submissive nature and found this type of release?

 

Appreciation for high heels!

Ok the phrase I never thought is officially gone as it seems I would or should start almost every post that way. My Goddess had me order some heels she picked out. As if that humiliation was not enough today they arrive and I call her to let her know they were here. She says great! Put them on. Now this would not be a problem had I not been at work. Lucky for me I have a lock on my office so on they went. These are 6 inch heels with a one inch platform on the shoe making the overall height almost seven inches. In my curiosity I go to stand up almost falling right on my face. I am sure as erotic as this was supposed to be is now reduced to me laughing at myself. So after they are on I call her back to let her know I complied she then says great take that amazing iPhone I hear you brag about and send me the picture so I know you complied. I was like WTF? in my mind. She just giggled and said make sure the locking ankle strap is secure I want the whole visual here.

Needless to say all was carried out to her full request and after wearing them for mere minutes I have a new found appreciation for those women who wear them daily. For those men, sissy, and others who wear them how do you ever learn to stand much less walk? It seems per her orders that tonight I will be wearing them with hosiery none the less. This is all to new to me to take in like this. Of course I guess I could always so no, but this little device that has my penis locked up would then be a bigger problem I would imagine. Seems we went from playful to her play toy.

Well not much else to add I am afraid as the weekend was pretty much non existent other than work. I have a feeling that is all going to change once she gets home from work tonight.

 

First Time and edging!

Ok I know I have read on here a least a dozens times or more about being edged then denied. Well last night was my first time. As my wife decided a little humiliation with my new heels would be a good thing for me I was not too worried about much else. However after they were locked on something came over her and next thing I know I was tied to the bed wearing nothing but high heels (see new appreciation for heels post). At any rate next thing I know I am blindfolded and she proceeds to rub something, I assume a lube, all over my penis. I thought wow this is going to be worth wearing the heels. Needless to say she started and stopped many times. I was going crazy. Then she removed the blindfold an had me watch her get herself off. OH MY GOD! This was so not fair in my mind. She then proceeded to play with me some more and I thought for sure this time I was getting a release. Long story short she stopped multiple times right on the edge and the last time she said goodnight! Goodnight!?!?! Was she crazy?

Needless to say back in lock up afterwards and as if the heels were not enough, yesterday just turned out to be one new experience after another. For those guys who love the edging please tell me it gets easier to handle. The only good thing today is at work I was so damn efficient it was not funny. I had no idea I could get so much done. I did not dare stop and think about last night as I am already charged up more than I ever thought possible.

It definitely makes one want to serve a woman in whatever fashion in hopes for a real release next time. I think I am finally starting to understand and appreciate this lifestyle-I am sure she understands it completely!

Well I know for some of you this is not a new experience at all but I just had to tell someone even if just in cyber land.

 

Sorry Mistress Watchful here is a link to the shoes-ones that were locked on last night for about an hour or so. It was definitely a humiliating and compelling time. I have a new understanding of what it means to do anything for a release.

The shoes

 

Ultimate Tease and Denial.

Well last night now marks the second night of tease and denial for me and my Wife. I have no idea what got into her but I am learning very quickly to not share forum posts with her LOL

Last night while she had me tied down and I was out of lock up she was driving me crazy. This is not the woman I married but better! I told her I wanted so bad to have sex with her and she said she could help with that. I thought YEEEESSSSS!

What happened next was nothing short of mind blowing. She pulled out a small tube of Orajel and applied a small amount to the head of my penis, then put three condoms with delay jell in them on me. Next she got on top and started having sex with me. The only problem was the jell was keeping me from feeling much of anything. At first I though I had her as I could feel just enough to get close then the longer she rode me the less I could feel till the point I was numb enough that no release would be possible. I have never been so frustrated in my life! Here I was having the best sex ever and could not reach orgasm. After her having multiple orgasms and about thirty minutes later she got off of me kissed me softly and told me when I became soft again she would untie me so I could be put back in my chastity device. OH MY GOD this was so hot and frustrating all at the same time. First off even in my prime I had very few times I could go that long and not cum then to not be able to at all-well I am sure others have been there but for me it just keeps things hot. It also makes me wonder what she will be up to tonightoh:

 

18 days in chastity and 3 nights on continuous tease and denial!

The tag line of this forum is sooooo appropriate. When I originally introduced my wife to chastity play it was through a casual conversation. She chuckled at first and dismissed it pretty quick stating the pictures she was looking at seemed silly. Then as the days went on it became "what if I did this" banter on her part just to tease me a little still no serious commitments on her part. Fast forward a couple of months to me entering a writing contest and winning a gift card. "what should we get?" I asked only to have her jokingly say "get your chastity device" I still remember the first night I tried it on as she looked at it and laughed and said take that thing off. I was pretty aroused by the idea and we played with it here and there-usually no more than a few hours. Something happened one day when I wore it to work and she had the key all day at her office. She admitted it was arousing.

The next thing I know we are meeting people on line, discussing ideas, and making a schedule of our own. I never took any of it serious as our sex life has always been good but it has also been sporadic. Sometimes hot, sometimes just because. When she started to see the fun and the benefits of this she became a lot more involved. Reading books, browsing forums, you name it. The first week of June was our turning point. She had been given a contract or an agreement if you will that is still being developed but essentially for me it guarantees two releases a month, barring no rude behaviors. We started the agreement around June 15th and by about the 5th day, and the first time where I truly did not have an out I said I would give up my second release of the month just to have her then and there. What some would deem a week moment for her turned out to be the dumbest thing I have ever done.

Fast forward to last weekend where she was gracious enough to let me sleep in hosiery instead of the device. I neglected to get right back in it the next morning and asked if she minded if I left it off for a few more hours to do some things around the house. She became obviously troubled and upset by this. It was this event that led to a conversation where I had failed to see how much she has come to enjoy the new life this has created for us. I also failed to see it from her point of view. I obviously had admitted that I masturbated frequently in the past and all of the other stuff that many men struggle with. This was a way where she now knew I was only using any of that energy for her and besides the fact that she loved that she also came to lave the fact that I would be willing to submit to her this way to show her how much I really did want to be committed to just her. I never looked at this that way, it was always just another kink to throw in the bag of good nights.

Ok so why go backwards in my journal? Simple it now sets the stage for this woman who has found a power that drives her in all parts of her life. she has gained more confidence at work, she dresses in clothes to show off her sexiness, and in the bedroom, well let's just say never in my wildest fantasies could I come up with things this hot. Last night she put on a very sexy sheer teddy and came down stairs. Of course I was locked and naked as is one of our agreements for the late evenings. I became instantly aroused, well tried to anyway lol. Before I knew it I found myself upstairs with one hand cuffed to the headboard. Now one hand was odd as it left one free. She did her little seductive thing she does that just gets me wild with lust. She then removed my cage and told me for the next 20 minutes I was to use my free hand to stork myself. My orders were simple-find a pace that will keep you from cuming but will allow you to last the entire twenty minutes-failure was not an option. She initially just sat and read a book till the point where she got to worked up and started playing with herself. I was going out of my mind! She got off twice only allowing me to touch her for brief bit all the while she kept the stroking going for me. When it was all said and done she said I had done good and told me I could stop. I was desperately hoping for a reward. My reward was that both hands were secured till I could 'calm down' I was like WHAT!?!?! Her devious grin, soft kiss, and gentle reminder of who held the key was all I needed to realize this woman has turned into the woman of my dreams and the woman who will surely be the result of me going insane with lust.

A supervised cold shower and back in lockup for one of the longest nights sleep, or lack there of, I have had in sometime. Now edged for three nights in a row and still in lockup where for the first time I have no way to beat the system I am drowning in desire. I have never wanted anyone so bad as I want her now. Release date-July 15th not a minute sooner. That seems like a long time as my record was only 21 days without an orgasm and only in lock up for 14 of those days. She just grins and says just wait for the lori device.

 

22 Days and counting
Well i wish I had some exciting news or perhaps something erotic to talk about today but this weekend was just another weekend. I worked an 15 hour day with travel on saturday and all I could think about in the car was how did I get into this? LOL

While Goddess did not turn up the heat this weekend with any tease sessions she still, none the less, looked radiant almost every day and that in itself is enough to drive me crazy. She has this new demeanor about her now that is more confident, more radiant, and more persistent than before. Even her career life is taking off to new heights. Although some of that may be bad for me as my scheduled release date has now been bumped back another day or two, not because of errant behavior on my part but because she will be traveling with work. This has now officially broken my longest time in lockup and my longest time without an orgasm-ever. I am starting to see the mental side of this building as now I desperately want a release but at the same time I think I am in control enough to see how long I could go.

On a completely different note I think it is time to find a temporary replacement device till the Lori Tube gets here. While I love the cb-6000 the constant job assignments I have outside in the summer hear are killer. It does not breathe as easy as other devices so perhaps something else is in order.

Well for those of you reading this hello and thanks for stopping by. If you feel so inclined drop a note to say hi.

 

Thank you Mistress for stopping by. I had the same thought about a #9 which is why Goddess and I chose the #15. Although it could be a bad thing for me as her comment along with many others is that it can stay on for much longer since it is more open and much easier cleaned!:sad:

It is OK to have quiet days. Us like you have kids at home so as much as I would love to "play" all the time it is tuff. Although for me that just means more time in lockup!

 

Record Broke!

Well yesterday actually broke my longest time in lockup. Now on my 23rd day I happily think I am past the crazed animal stage. While the teasing and denial has stopped my Goddess is now on this kick for me to be wearing women's panties. I don't get it. Just months ago this is the woman who would have laughed all the way to hysteria by the thought of that. Now she is on this mission and I am in trouble. Of course the option is that I can always say no thank you as long as I want to stay in lockup. This is a battle I can win but I war I will lose!

Well not much to say today as I have tons of work to do. As a professional photographer my plate is full this time of year.
:gen085:

 

Well today marks the 24th day in lockup and I seem to have gone over the plateau. The crazy intense urge for a release seems to have subsided some. I am not sure if that is from the fact that Goddess has been so busy that the teases have stopped and therefore my mind is a little more free to concentrate on other things, or if like others I am becoming a little more accustomed to the life-choice.

Hard to say. Our biggest challenge came this morning as I had a chiropractor visit and had to be let out. I of course was given strict instructions to return back home and re-secure before going back to the office, which I did. However I know this is the part that Goddess hates as she has to "trust" that I will not deviate from her instructions. I obviously did not as I do not want to diminish the trust she has put in me at this point but none the less I can see her side, especially if she had been turning up the heat a lot lately,it would have been a week moment waiting to happen.

That asside it will be interesting to see how the Lori Tube will fit and if it will be possible to under go adjustments with it on or not. With the CB-6000 I think I would be crushed-permanent chastity is one thing but castration is another

Not much else to report today I am afraid. Last night was a long one as the early AM erections seem to have returned in full force. I thought I had gotten past this stage but the last few nights have been tuff. Usually I just get up and go to the bathroom and the problem subsides but none the less I love my sleep and the interruption itself is more irritating than the brief pain.

Well here is wishing you all well who continue to read and perhaps tomorrow will bring a little more excitement to this journal.

 

Day 25! It is hard to believe it is here. Last night found much of nothing happening in the chastity or sexual arena. Both Goddess and I had an extremely long and drawn out day. While it was unfortunate it was humorous as well as it was kind of nice to see that every day stresses still kill a perfectly good evening. Now I know I am supposed to be the good submissive here and offer back rubs, and any other things to make my Wife feel better but when she just wants to go to bed and cuddle you know it was a long day.

The early morning was not any better. I almost had to laugh as I was lying awake thinking to myself "I don't need an atomic clock to keep time by I can just use my device" Once again at almost the same time I awoke to that painful attempt of an erection confined well within the prison that holds it. I seriously thought I was beyond that point as my comfort level has increased ten fold over where I started from. Some have said they fear their penis may shrink while in constant lockup. I have to chuckle and say I think mine is developing extra muscle trying to push the darn "a" ring right off the balls. Damn that smarts!

Today was a welcome relief while at work. While any self employed person knows you never want to have a series of client appointments cancel but as disorganized as I have become lately it is a good day to catch up. Perhaps I can find someway to pamper my Wife/Goddess today. Only six days to release! I am not sure if I am looking forward to the orgasm or the solid nights sleep more. LOL

 

Still nothing to report in any kinky sense. However I did find it funny today as I drove my wife to work we were talking about friends with grown kids and the ability to just go out to a club an a whim with no restrictions. As were recalling our conversation from last night I, in my ever so witty and sometimes not so funny way, said " I miss those times. Those times when we could just go grab a bear and a burger, even it was 9 at night. I miss the times where we could have sex whenever and wherever in our house without having to worry about who would here. Hell I even miss the times when you weren't in the mood and I could go take care of things myself"

It was the last comment that was obviously designed to elicit a smile from her as she seems to like the fact that I am in lock up. However her response was too good. She said "Yes I miss those times to. As much as I know we both love our children more than life it was fun to have that type of freedom. Speaking of freedom, those days of your taking care of yourself, those or gone forever mister. you are wearing this for a long long time."

Now as much as I adore her being able to match wits with a sometimes unarmed person I had to admire her response. I also had to worry as she was serious, dead serious. Granted I am on day 26 and we are both learning so the tease and denials are minimal right now, but when she gets a firmer grip I have to think, I AM ON DAY 26! Oh goodness what Have I done.

 

Release at Day 28!Wow what can I say. I know it has been a while since I posted but weekends are extremely busy for me as a photographer.

Saturday was the first surprise as I was allowed out of the cage to go to work. While I have worn it before on the job many times, there is just something to deal with when you have to move quickly and many times through out the day. Needless to say I was so appreciative.

As the day went by I received numerous text messages from my Wife all in a teasing way. I figured great now she is going to cause me to get erect while working. I had to desperately block her out of my mind to get the job done. It obviously had me rushing home as the vision of her waiting in something sexy was killing me. When I got home I found our oldest son still awake way past his bedtime and her in sweats and a t-shirt. All I could think of was that she got me. Some small talk, a drink, and many minutes later we headed up to bed our oldest far ahead of us by now. You can imagine my surprise when I was ready to get back into my chastity device seeing how she had been so gracious to let me out.

This is where I was stopped and told I had other needs for her toy and she did not need bothered with unlocking. Needless to say it was incredible. I have never (at least not in many years) gone that long without an orgasm and as we were making love the release was so intense I shook for minutes but seemed like hours. Wow. Needless to say it was a pleasant surprise followed by yet another that she did not have to travel out of town as I had originally been told.

Of course in her ever-so-eloquent way this morning she made sure I was back in lockup and just giggled as she asked if I was ready for another month. Oh my goodness this woman is amazing!

Well I am sure there is so much more to say but I really need to get back to editing images here and just thought I should update this journal for those of you who stop by-thank you for doing so by the way!

 

Day 3 Wow that seems like such a low number after going through 28 days of lockup already. It was such a milestone to hit and now to have to start over not knowing this time when my next release will be is, well, sad. Oh don't get me wrong the last release was well worth the wait it is only that i know my Goddess is already back to her teases and torments so I know she is going to be enjoying her power for a while. She is such a new and improved person now that she has found this with me. Not that she was in need of any improvement. I only mention that because she has really taken on a new personality at work that has been for the better. Even her walk is of a more confidant nature. I can just see that same stride in her thigh high leather boots (ouch!) ok well enough of those thoughts for now.

Well it is back to work for me as really there is not anyone here who will want to read about the day-in the life- of a photographer--far more exciting topics here.

 

Wow it is funny how active I am becoming in this group and how much more I am learning as everyday passes. My Goddess seams to be learning as well. Just last night I asked that I be released for a better nights sleep (I feel your pain Charolet) and to my surprise she said no I don't thinks so. I was taken back as normally this was a very simple request that led me to otherwise restrained but none the less those ways are usually easier to deal with. But last night, last night was different. She has now taken this to a new level, her level. She wanted me nice and close so she could feel the cage against her as we cuddled to sleep. Truth be told she messed with my mind in just enough ways that drive me crazy. I could almost sense the smirk on her face through the darkness as she drifted off to sleep knowing she had me.

As the night turned into early morning I was awaken numerous times by dreams that were no doubt fueled by her control. While our jobs are once again causing way more stress than I would like and thus are keeping us from any play time she is intent on keeping me locked if only just to show she can. Oh well, today is another day and if I am smart I keep focused on my work to keep my mind from drifting to areas it need not go.

On a seperate note I am now starting to look forward to and fear the arrival of our Lori tube all at the same time. This CB6000 in the summer heat is a pain in the, ....well groin I guess but you get my drift. I look forward to the Lori tube as it will be more open but I fear it as it will give little if any reason wy I should be let out:sad: If any of you are reading this and have experience with a Lori #15 I would love to hear your thoughts.

My new part of this journal carries over from my RL world. Each day I try to pass along a quote of the day to help inspire someone so here is todays thought

"Never let anyone tell you no who does not first have the power to tell you yes"-Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Wow! So much time that seemed to pas me up without any warning at all. Well we are definitely back on track on what promises to be another long month. So far not so much as an acknowledgement of my predicament. I don't get this whole thing sometimes. One minute I am on here giving advice to others about this sort of thing the next minute I am here wondering if she forgot about me being locked up. She knows it as just the other night I tried to sleep without the device and she shut that down quick. LOL However any other moments throughout the day are like the whole situation is not happening. I think she is up to something though. She has plenty of little emails coming in to her mailbox and every time I ask her about them she tells me to mind my own business. Oh well I wish there was something exciting to report but it looks like we are status quo for now.

 

Ok once again the busy season has kept me from being able to enjoy the forums as much as would like to and thus my journal has suffered. Needless to say our busy career lives have caused us to "forget" if you will, the chastity lifestyle. Of course I can't forget as it only takes a second to be reminded if and when that little arousal time comes on.

As if the foregoing was not enough today my Wife tells me she is finally ready to seriously consider coming to work with me and building our growing photography business. This was obviously music to my ear as this is something I have longed for for sometime. The funny part however is her little comment where she said "OOOh just think how much I could torment you if we worked together" All I could do was shake my head and wonder what have I created?

Nothing much to report I am afraid as we have taken the advice we have recently given here and taken a couple of days off following a great release. However even as I type this I am being told my "new" contract is in the process of being written. I am in trouble I am sure.

 

Taking a break???!?!?

Well it appears we are following some common trends here as well. I know it has been a while since my last post but I have been trying to figure out what went wrong. I guess my lack of ambition in wanting to sleep in the device lead my Goddess to not be interested any more. One night it was "OK take it off" and the next morning it was well...nothing.

I stayed out thinking at any time it would be get back in but it has been a few days now of freedom. While I appreciate the freedom it has also left me missing something. I miss the times where she would drive me crazy only to have me begging for a release that would not come. How could anyone miss something like that?

Our work lives have been ultra crazy as we both find ourselves in the busiest part of the year in our careers. While I certainly appreciate that it has made me feel we have lost an amazing connection that was just there only days before. As I have attempted to give advice to many on here (advice from an ameture at best) I know find myself wondering where did I go wrong.

I have given her two separate books, one from me and one from Ms. Lori, neither of which has been touched in sometime. Then with her stress level the desire to even acknowledge the existence of the chastity lifestyle has all but vanished. I guess in my frustration and selfishness I figured why be locked up and ignored? When I saw the opportunity for freedom I took it thinking surely she would stop that. I was wrong. Is she looking for something from me I wonder.

I guess it is time to take my own advice and take a vanilla break to see if there is a way to reconnect. I will try to keep this updated in the mean time but I fear there will be little excitement to write about. Perhaps the steps we take to find one another will be of some inspiration to others.