My Hands Free Journal

Mistress took me out of my cage to check my length. We were surprised to see I measured exactly 1" . Mistress said we'd see if it was mere compression or a permanent condition. Unfortunately, I grew a bit, so 1" is still not my full length. Mistress suggested that I was unlikely to shrink any more. She said that I will have to resign myself to wearing a support strap, as my limp clitty is insufficient to bear the even negligible weight of a plastic cage. She added that just because, apparently, I can't get hard, doesn't mean that she won't enforce my permanent chastity. She put me in the plastic House of Denial cage, until she finds a new cage for me, one that will be my "forever cage" as she smilingly called it. I have a feeling things are going to get interesting.
2 days later and both days I've measured 1", and haven't unturtled. Anxious to see if this measurement maintains or even shrinks. Mistress has definitely got inside my head.
Later: Mistress put me in a new cage today, consisting of a penis tube with multiple holes at the bottom to drain urine. It bends back between my legs, like some full belts do, only this is held place by a base ring. This configuration means that I can pee sitting down, without having to hold my cage below the rim of the bowl. To put it another way, it forces hands-free peeing, peeing, as Mistress says, like a girl. The design keeps a testicle on either side of the tube. For me that is reenforced by a support strap to keep things where they should be. Mistress says it should be good for long term chastity. She has locked me in with a steel ring as she is not a fan of having a padlock. "They ruin the lines," she says. So far, this is comfortable, but I have not yet had to pee.
Update: it took a while to pee, due to the feeling of being in the tube. Mistress said that as the nature of the cage design causes post pee dribbles, she might have me use panty liners in my satin pantys, or even wear diapers, to avoid pee stains. Also I found out that since the bottom of the tube is not anchored by a chain or something, my balls can work free of the tube's curve, leaving empty sack skin folded over the tube. Nothing is perfect.
Miss Carly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

Mistress took this photo of my little lady after a day and a half unlocked. She commented that it is obvious this is now my normal size, just over an inch long, a tiny, unmanly excuse for a penis. She said that it is proof that the masculine side of my identity is declining. She laughed at how she only hangs half way down my sack. I kept quiet as everything Mistress said was true.
Mistress had me choose 2 shirts from my closet to get rid of. When I did, she told me she was going to replace them with girl blouses, and I was to sit next to her to help her choose what to buy. It was one more attack on my male wardrobe.
On a related subject, I have now been wearing nail polish every day for the last 2 months. Once I decided not to give a fuck what people might think, I hardly consider that my nails are painted when I go outside, food shopping, to local bars, etc. I have gotten used to painting them, touching them up when needed. It's very zen, not so much a girly action, but just a thing I do. Mistress now has me painting hers, saying I do a better job than she does.
Woke up to find my new cage dangling by it's support strap. Both testicles had escaped overnight. When I told Mistress, she took it well as she had also ordered the smallest base ring in case this happened. She handed it to me, and it is very snug. She said that we'll see if it is too tight for good circulation. Mistress insisted that I wear it with the strap, just for security. I will see how it is when I pee, hopefully not too tight. I like how it feels, and looks, and hope this works.
Miss Carly curtseys and exits her journal.
P.S. peeing is ok, so far no discomfort re circulation. The locking ring clanks when I walk, which amuses Mistress.

 

Today Mistress and I had gone to her doctor. She later observed that no one commented on my nail polish (Dark Green). Then we went to a diner where Mistress told me to try to pee standing up. Turned out that to get my stuff out of my pants and direct the stream, I couldn't manage without literally dropping trou. On the floor. So I was standing there, my jeans around my ankles, pink bloomers covering my ass, my hand cupping my balls, clitty hidden away in the steel tube, held over the waist of my bloomers. So much for dignity. I quickly pulled up my jeans before anyone else entered the toilet. Eventually I managed my task, and got out of there. When I told Mistress of my exploits, she had a good laugh. We agreed that my default move is sitting to pee, otherwise I could find myself charged with indecent exposure.
Miss Carly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

I've noticed something weird in the past couple of days. I can feel my little lady either grow or try to grow while in her tube. Hard to be certain. Maybe it's my imagination, but it does feel like I am trying to get an erection. I mentioned this to Mistress, hoping we could see what's going on between my legs, but she said my first inspection since being locked in the tube is scheduled for tomorrow, not today. "Deal with it, Princess", was her advice. She made it clear that any movement in my tube was unimportant compared to making certain I could be locked in it for long periods of time, less thorough cleaning, shaving, etc. She then started stroking my balls, wanting to get a reaction, for her amusement..
Miss Carly curtseys and exits her journal

 

Where to begin? Mistress took off my cage (penis tube) and found no redness, chafing, etc. Then she shaved me "down there", so all is now nice and smooth. She measured my clitty, and it was exactly 1" long. She didn't let me shower until I was relocked, so I wouldn't be tempted to touch my little lady "accidentally". Mistress did not tease me but, using the ring, locked me in the tube right away, so we did not find out if I can grow any larger. Mistress told me that since I have been shaved, she saw no reason not to keep me locked for 2 weeks, which means my clitty will remain caged until Aug. 5. Perhaps to teach me a lesson, she said she changed her mind about rewarding me with "NIV" or "nubbin in vagina" as she called it. Maybe next time. That was more than disappointing, to say the least.
Securely locked, Miss Carly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

Mistress took off my cage and had me in panties for the day. (It was a few days ahead of schedule) At midnight, we found my clitty greatly turtled, the head just peeking out from it's skin. Mistress said that it is so tiny that I look like I am f to m trans. She went on to say that the only way I could have sex with "that limp little nub" would be scissoring like a lesbian.." This made her smile, genuinely amused. I thought, just for a moment, that she was going to suggest that we give that a try. Foolish me. She reminded me "no touching" and had me pull up my dark pink panties, promising to lock my tiny clitty tomorrow, back in, what is now, "thoroughly unnecessary" chastity.
P.S. Later, Mistress checked my panties, and found that I had unturtled, revealing a still humorously small penis.
Miss Carly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

This evening, Mistress took a photo of my clit before locking me back in my cage. She wanted it to remind me of how funny and useless it has become, just to please her. She told me "share the picture, give others a laugh."

 

Mistress recently gave me an unexpected present, a monogramed gold pinky ring. She said it is petite and feminine, and perfect for my small, delicate hand. I love it, proud that she thoroughly loves me. She said she had her finger measured at a jewelry store, as we had found, years ago, that we have the same size hands. She was relieved that we didn't need to exchange it.
Miss Carly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

Today, Mistress gave me a pair of white socks to wear. They reach just above my knees. They are put on the same way one would put on stockings. I wonder if that's next, if that is what she is preparing me for.
Miss Carly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

Well, it's now been almost 4 months that I've worn nail polish every day without a break. Mistress commented that she noticed how comfortable I've become with it. I think I would feel it strange not to have painted nails. Younger me would have died of mortification having to go about life wearing nail polish. I guess I have matured. And lost most of my masculinity.
I spent the day unlocked, and Mistress pointed out that my clitty is still turtling, and it's softness not making much of a bulge in my satin panties. (Photos attached)
Mistress told me that the next time she sends me to a gay bar, I will be wearing my necklace with the new tag. (See attached photo) That is something I can do without.
Locked back in my penis tube, feeling once again like owned property, who's sexuality is not under her control. Such a comforting feeling.
Miss Carly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

Mistress took off my cage and had me clean it, then lock it back on myself with the ring and pliers. Then she had me touch up my nail polish, to make me "cute and girly". Oddly enough, I would have done that anyway, as I am very conscious of maintaining my andrgynous appearance. It has been a day she devoted to reenforcing my growing lack of masculinity. I am lying in bed, very aware of the steel tube between my legs, and the lack of sensation where my clitty is. Lately I feel a growing distancing of myself from the male I grew up as, not so much supressing, as erasing it. Just a random thought.
Miss Carly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

This morning, Mistress took the locking ring off my cage and replaced it with a new silver Master padlock. She explained that since the lock that came with the chastity tube was a cheap generic model, she bought a quality replacement lock. She told me that she wanted to be able to unlock me anywhere without having to carry the reverse pliers at all times, something, btw, she has never done. She also likes the idea of an "emergency key" being always available. So, I now have a lock that complements my chastity tube. Beau- effing-Brummel. She also said that having an actual lock on my clitty might boost my sub state of mind. Well, I am definitely aware of it, especially when it shifts and clanks against the tube. I wonder what will next take her fancy.

 

Not surprisingly, I wasn't able to finish. She tossed the solid cage, base ring, and a padlock on the bed next to me and said, "Lock that useless thing away, Princess." Right now I find myself craving an orgasm, but unable to even get hard. My torture has already begun.
She said that for the sake of hygene she will take me out of the cage after I shower, only long enough to thoroughly dry myself.
So I sit here, locked in the clitty tube, wondering if this will be my fate for October. I find myself half hoping to have to submit to a solid month of genital sensory deprivation chastity.
Miss Carly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

Thanks for the encouragement. BTW, that was from 2019.

 

Mistreess woke me at midnight to inform me that Locktober had officially begun. She carressed my balls for a few minutes, which had me squirming. I could feel something happening in my cage, but had no idea exactly what. When I told Mistress of my predicament she said it didn't matter since she doesn't really think of me as having a penis anymore. "Nothing in there worth looking at anyway," she said. "Now go back to sleep, princess."

 

Longer is challenging, but better. It reenforces commitment to chastity in service to one's kh/Mistress/Master, and breaks down false pride. IMHO anyway.

 

Our 27th Wedding Anniversary is fast approaching, and Mistress decided that we should renew our vows in a small, private ceremony with a select group of people who know our lifestyle. Mistress has instructed me to share our new vows here.

Me: I promise to Love, Honor and Obey.

Mistress: I promise to Love, Lead and Protect you.

Mistress and I are still discussing if I should wear nothing but my cage for the ceremony. She joked that maybe I should also have a wrist corsage to mark the occasion. This has me nervous, as I have only been naked in front of some of them.

Miss Carly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

Mistress sent me the attached photos, saying that the "tiny penises" are all bigger than mine. It is understood that she was laughing.
I include two drawings she recently sent to me.

 

Some misc pictures

 

Mistress reminded me that she will be out of town starting tomorrow, visiting family for a few days. She said that since she switched from locking my cage with a closable steel ring to a padlock, she'll just take the key with her to keep me from temptation. She said that if I had a problem and needed to be released, I should feel free to call a locksmith. I suddenly felt more like her property than I have in a while.
Miss Carly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

Today made just 4 days straight lockup, that is, without a minute unlocked. Before leaving today, Mistress took a photo of my clitty, mostly for her amusement rather than for comparison. "Very manly," she said, "for a week old baby." She then told me "back in your cage, sissy, you have nothing worth seeing between your legs."
Before leaving, she squeezed my balls through my pants, got into our car, and drove away.
Miss Carly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

I was wakened this morning by the delivery of a small pkg containing black hose. It appears that Mistress controls what I wear even when she is many miles away. So, immediately, I had to try them on, like a sissy at Christmas. Photo's attached. I love the open crotch design.
Miss Carly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

Mistress called, asked how things are going, had to admit that at the gay bar, i accidentily pissed on my jeans, while trying to direct the pee from the clitty tube. Annoyed, she told me she had put my padlock key on my keyring. She instructed me to remove my cage and to spend the evening unlocked, with a shrunken clitty. That is my punishment, because she knows I have come to need being locked up. Made me feel stupid, which i guess i deserve.
Miss Carly curtseys, humbled and humiliated, and exits her journal.