My Hands Free Journal

Thanks, nice to hear.

 

Well, I decided that I really had no choice but to agree to Mistress' demand. I should have seen it coming. It seems to me our being at this juncture was inevitable. So, I agreed to what Mistress proposed, and signed the document, signed away my freedom as an individual. Signed because I love her. Mistress then tore up the document, saying that it wasn't necessary, that my understanding she was serious was enough to insure my complete obedience.
Mistress told me that the changes she makes will come gradually because she has no intention to reinvent our relationship, but rather to modify it for her convenience and pleasure. Slaves are not consulted, they obey. The first change Mistress made was to have me give her my wallet with my identification, which she put in her night table, as a sign that she owns me. She didn't lock it, just told me not to touch it. She reminded me that I was free to leave any time I pleased. There would, of course, be consequences. I have a feeling that this is one massive mind fuck. Surely Mistress would not do such a thing, that the idea of the document, even destroyed, was purely symbolic. But, it is not beyond her to carry out her threat. Either way, she now owns me.
MissCarly curtseys and humbly exits her journal.

 

I had just finished folding and putting Mistress' laundry away when Mistress took off my collar and bracelet for reasons she didn't share with me. She handed me the piggy mask. I put it on. She then told me, "Show me your cleavage, little girl." I thought a moment and did my best while she took a photo. Later, with my collar and bracelet back on and fastened, she handed me a Madonna mask, and said, "Let's see that cleavage again, girl. Show me 'sexy'." Another photo was taken. "Good slave girl," she said." Mistress told me to put the Madonna mask in my night table drawer, and to post the 2 photos when she sends them to me. She said it was nice to have my clitty tucked away and out of sight. She then said she wondered if Slave Adrian would get a smile out of the photos. Mistress decided she would. She quickly wrote down Master Paul's e-mail address and handed it to me. She told me to send the photos to him, asking him to please show them to Adrian. Another level of humiliation had been reached.
MissCarly curtseys and humbly exits her journal.

 

Tonight Mistress unlocked me, masturbated me until I was about 70% hard, then told me to push my clitty inside the belt's tube (down and backwards) and lock myself in. It was, and still is, uncomfortable. If I get any more aroused, i.e. attempt to get straight and hard, things could get downright painful. Fortunately, I don't think getting a full erection is possible while locked in my belt. Unfortunately Mistress insists on using her finger tips and fingernails on my balls to keep me as stiff as possible.
Mistress has instituted a new rule. When not answering a direct question or acknowleging a command, I am to ask permission to speak to her. This is, she told me, to keep me in my place. I hope she will soon get bored with this.

 

It is now a month since I had my first (and only, so far) anal orgasm. From pegging, while still locked. Only unlocked to shower. Mistress has said that she has noticed a subtle increase in my submissiveness to her, and that she is pleased. Today she pointed out, once again, that my belt removed my male bulge. She handed me my phone and told me to take pictures which showed the flat front in my jeans. "See," she said, "you are my girl." She sent the pictures to Silver, with the subject "Bitches Don't Bulge." Then, she told me to make myself ready for her cock, and to bring it to her when I was cleaned out. So i did my douching, lubed her cock and my ass, and presented her cock to her on my knees, as is now normal. The rest went as you would expect. She fucked me, then had me lick her. Mistress was satisfied, so I am happy.
MissCatly curtseys and humbly exits her journal.

 

Mistress just showed me an e-mail from Master Paul. It said, "adrian says, " please keep whatever she has down there, no matter how limp or tiny, locked away." I don't think adrian is enamoured with your girl."
Mistress laughed at Adrian's msg and Master Paul's comment. Good thing I have no dignity or pride.

 

Mistress is still surprising me. She unlocked me from my belt and had me put it in her bedroom, and return with a small box from her night table. I handed her the box, curious as it felt empty. She unwrapped a purple plastic cage, in the form of a vagina. She had me put it on, at which point she locked it in place. It feels like I'm not wearing a cage. She said, "Congratulations, you now have a pussy." The down side is my clitty moved, so is no longer alligned with my vaginal opening to pee through. Mistress told me we'll work on that later.

 

After a bit of experimentation, Mistress and I determined that the opening on the pussy cage needed to be rotated down before I could pee through it. That design flaw (for me, at least) makes it more decorative than practical. Mistress put me in the micro Cherrykeeper, as a sort of a second place prize, one that would also hide/compress my clitty.

 

Back in the full belt. Amazing how confining it feels after just 3 days out of it. Nothing like it as a constant reminder that one's sexuality is owned by another. This is what Mistress calls the Castration Effect. The implications of that term are truly humbling, which is how Mistress wants me.

 

Thursday, early morning.
Laying in my bed, wondering when Mistress will next allow me to sleep next to her, in what has become "her bed." Still in the belt, my clitty tucked away, as securely as the Man in the Iron Mask. I can feel it stir sometimes, in a useless effort to try to grow. Foolish clitty doesn't yet realize that Mistress has taken away my manhood, made me less than a man, as she says, "almost castrated" but not female either. Sometimes I almost forget I have male genitalia. Mistress should be pleased to hear this.
I've decided to take Mistress' advice and send my boyfriend a couple of pictures to remind him of me. One is a female version of me courtesy of Faceapp, then one of me feminized in an art style with Disney characters, and lastly is one of me wearing the belt, suitably time stamped. It's too late, or rather too early, to ask Mistress to take a full length photo of me for him. Maybe later.
MissCarly humbly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

Later Thursday morning.
This morning Mistress surprised me with what she described as my Daily Housekeeping dress. It is to be worn, as the name implies, when I clean and do chores around the house. My maid's uniform is for serving meals and/or guests. Excuse me, Mistress now wants me to always refer to it as my Sissy Maid's uniform, since I am her sissy slave. She said she might have the hem raised. I asked her what I should do if family or vanilla friends stop in unexpectedly. She said I can say I lost a bet, or anything else. I could explain some or all of our relationship, if I want. She said that she really doesn't care. It's not her problem. One thing she certainly does not allow me is male dignity. She joked that she's doing it for my own good, because pride is a sin. Thank you, Mistress, for my ongoing training. The only pride and dignity I have comes from serving you, however you desire .
Mistress had me put on my piggy mask for photos in my new uniform . She sent them to Robert, and allowed me to post them.
MissCarly humbly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

Mistress told me to clean her room to prepare for Silver spending the night.
MissCarly humbly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

Mistress had me sit in a chair, facing her. She knelt in front of Silver and took his large penis in her mouth. Silver looked at me and as she worked on him, and said how good a cock sucker she is, enjoying my enforced impotence. Mistress then paused to say that I am a good cock sucker too. They soon moved to the bed where Silver took her from behind. I felt my clitty stir in it's tube. Mistress then told him to take her in her ass. All through this I watched them, as ordered. Mistress called me over to take Silver in my mouth. She asked me if I could taste her ass on his cock. Mistress then took advantage of my having to take a muscle relaxant earlier, having twisted my back. She had decided that I could probably accept his cock up my ass. I did my best to be open for him. He took his time, moving slowly, showing surprising consideration for my comfort. Still, I imagined that I now knew what it felt like to be fisted. I was amazed that Mistress enjoyed the sensation. I was then positioned to lick his cock as he fucked her pussy. I wondered what it must be like to be as long and thick as him. I had never felt so less endowed. I was glad my little sissy clitty was locked away, out of sight, where it couldn't be compared to Silver's cock and mocked. Mistress had Silver finish in my mouth. I was then sent to my room.

 

I could hear them continue enjoying each other while I stretched out in my bedroom.

 

Robert came over, said he wanted to see me wearing my Housekeeping dress in person. He got a good laugh, which made me blush, which made both Mistress and Robert laugh. After a while, Mistress had me strip, get on my hands and knees, and be her footstool while they talked. I was not allowed to contribute to the conversation, being under orders to only speak when spoken to.
After a few drinks, Mistress threw a cushion on the floor and told me to kneel. She knelt in front of Robert and had me watch her suck Robert's cock. Once she had finished him, and licked him clean, she asked Robert who gave the better blow job. Being a gentleman, Robert unhesitantly told Mistress she was more skilled.
Mistress invited Robert to spend the night in her bed instead of mine. Robert accepted, (sweet frustration!) and I was ordered by Mistress to sleep at the foot of her bed so I could hear, but not see, them continue what Mistress had started. My imagination was more vivid than anything I might have seen. It was an agony I hadn't ecpected. I realized that Mistress had decided to punish me for no reason other than her own amusement, just because she could. For the entire visit no one spoke to me, as I should have expected.
Attached are 3 photos of me in the Housekeeping dress wearing the Madonna mask, the last one Robert insisted on.

 

A short while ago, Mistress woke me, unlocked me and took off my belt. She told me to push my clitty inside my body because she wanted to see me as close as possible to having a vagina. With a little trepidation I obeyed, wanting to please my Mistress. She laughed and took the attached photos. I assume they're being sent to Robert, Silver and Callie. Maybe Master George too. She has found yet another way to humiliate me.
She called me Mister Softee after the ice cream company. She said it was because I couldn't push my clitty inside myself unless I was totally soft and useless. She wasted no time locking me back in the belt.

 

Mistress told me to find 5 photos online which represented our relationship and to send them to her. Once I had completed this assignment she said that she likes them, and will send them to our circle. Mistress Just told me that one of them will be the template for our Christmas card photo.

 

Last night, Mistress told me that she has decided that from now until she says otherwise, I am banned from eating at the table. My plate will be on the floor, next to Mistress' chair. I will still be allowed cutlery, but soup, (actually all liquids) must be consumed from the bowl, no spoon, no cups allowed. I am, however, allowed to lift the bowl to drink, because the human head wasn't designed to lap up food like a dog.
Update: The other day, Mistress had me stuff my clitty as far as possible into my belt's tube. Later, when I sat to pee, it hurt like hell. Either my clitty was fighting the extreme curve of the tube, or I bruised it stuffing my clitty inside myself earlier. Mistress took pity and unlocked me so I could recuperate and get back to normal. Funny what I now consider normal. Another day in the life of Mistress' Sissy. I thought I should say, "Mistress' Sissy Maid, or Mistress' Sissy Slave," but when I asked her how I should describe myself just now, she said that "Sissy" is sufficient. "Let's not over complicate it," she said. Grateful to Mistress for solving that problem. I guess Mistress is right when she says that I am developing a simple sissy brain. It is freeing to have Mistress do the thinking for me. Mistress is always right.
MissCarly (Mistress' Sissy) curtsey's and exits her journal.

 

Mistress told me she has a virus mask for me to wear. She said not to worry, it's plain black. Of course she didn't tell me everything.

 

Today Robert visited us. Mistress blindfolded me and took off me belt. She said that it was too bad that I had the blindfold on, unable to see my clitty. Then they lubed my clitty and put me in a different belt. It turns out that Robert sent my measurements to Access Denied for a new belt. This was before Robert knew about my current belt. Mistress said she likes how this fits me better, sized exactly for my body. Mistress said, "This might be the one." She likes the flat front, coupled with the round locks. She also likes how the rear chains, contrary to the company's name, provides access. I am curious to see how it feels to go 1 and 2 while wearing it. The belt, not being ergonomic like my now previous belt, rides higher, just below my navel. Robert told me he would soon use me while I'm wearing it. Mistress said he would have plenty of opportunities, because if things work out, I might be wearing it for a very long time.
MissCarly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

I was thinking that I just went from one full belt to another, and although both do the same job, they feel so very different. Both have a front shield, but the new one (belt 2) maintains almost complete coverage where the previous belt (belt 1) separated my balls on either side of the tube. Unlike belt 1, belt 2 does not have a penis tube that can be seen, which adds to my current feeling of being desexed, neutered. Mistress rested her hand on the shield and asked if I could feel anything. When I told her no, she smiled and said, "Good girl. Get used to it."
MissCarly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

This new belt is amazing. Robert gave them my measurements, and it fits perfectly, snug, without any gaps. As the saying goes, like it was made for me. It would fit even better if I loose a little weight. Now I certainly have incentive, since the belt is one continuous peice of metal, with no adjustment possible. There's only one drawback, riding as high as it does, now some of my jeans won't close. Fortunately I have a pair of "fat" jeans, otherwise I'd be in trouble until Mistress comes back on Monday. Speaking of Mistress, she just sent me a picture of her flashing her tits, with the caption, "how's the belt? Nice and tight? Think of me, my little slut." I can tell an erection isn't gonna happen in the new belt, because it grips me tightly when flacid. So now, thanks to Mistress, my clitty feels like it's being crushed. I know that she's going to keep tightening the screws, turning me on just for the fun of it. Mistress just ordered me to send her a time stamped photo. I get the feeling she intends to show it to someone, possibly her latest conquest.
MissCarly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

Mistress sent me a photo of her pussy and told me to send a humble picture. She then sent a photo of her giving a man oral, and then told me to send "something sissy." These are what I sent her. I am very uncomfortable from trying to get hard in the belt. I'm sure Mistress is having a good laugh at my expense with someone I don't know. It's going to be a long weekend.