My Hands Free Journal

Mistress called a little while ago, and told me in graphic detail what she would do to me when she gets home. I felt myself fighting the belt, trying to get hard, but knew I can't. She finished by saying she forgot, I am locked tight, so no sex from Mistress for me, no bj, no pussy, no ass. She actually had me believing she intended to unlock me to give me sex! She laughed when I moaned in frustration. I told Mistress she is evil. She said of course she is, and that I had just earned myself a paddling when she gets home. I could hear a male voice in the background, chuckling. Mistress told me that all the while we'd been talking she was straddling her friend cowgirl style, his cock deep inside her. Too bad my little clitty was not allowed that privilege. Then she asked if I even remember what being inside her pussy feels like. Mistress then told me she wanted me to send her a different photo of the belt, and to share it in my journal. As ordered, I have attached that photo. Mistress wants me to write what her friend said I should say about myself just before she hung up: "I am a pathetic cuck and a sissy. Castration would be redundant." Mistress has found another way to humble and humiliate me.
MissCarly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

Robert came for a visit. He had been sent by Mistress to take specific photos of me. He took quite a few, and Robert approved a few for me to post, with the possibility of Mistress approving of more tomorrow. Mistress is certainly asserting her dominance over me by making me post these submissive photos. The only reason for these can be to further humiliate me. You be the judge. Robert says the photo of me on the couch facing away from the camera is a parody of a famous (female) nude.
It is unnecessary for me to say what took place between Robert and me after the pictures were taken, other than I love being used by him.
MissCarly, feeling thoroughly humbled, curtseys and exits her journal.

 

I just noticed that Robert had left a msg, to remind me to post 4 other photos that were his idea. So here they are. I am uncomfortable with the last photo, since it does not make me attractive, which is what I hope Robert was going for.

 

Still getting used to the belt. I'll be happy to have it off for first inspecttion. One positive, it makes me aware of my posture.
Am watching the porn Mistress left for me to watch, and while the tube prevents my clitty from thickening, I checked with a finger to find it has almost reached the bottom of the tube. And the tip of my clitty is moist. I think Mistress would say the video is making her girl wet. I am finding it becoming natural to think of, and refer to myself with female pronouns, just as Mistress wants. Having Robert take a photo of me in a bra, wearing a wig, and lipstick, was taking things further than I anticipated. I didn't think she wanted photos taken of this start of my gender identity transformation, as Mistress calls it.
As Mistress wants me in a belt 24/7, this is the one I'd prefer to have to wear. When I asked her about being let out for airport security, since this will definitely set off warning buzzers, Mistress just smiled and said, "We'll see." Just thinking about that smile makes me nervous.
Mistress is home now, and one of the first things she did was sit me down and shave my head. When she was finished she looked at my bald head and said, "That's better." She said there was no need to shave my armpits as I am hairless there, same for my legs. She said most girls would kiĺl for my lack of body hair.
Well, the belt came off and the result of my clitty trying to get erect in the tight tube was my clitty was compressed lengthwise, most noticably at the glans. My pee shot off in different directions at once. Mistress said it needs rethinking. She is careful to take care of her property.
Attached are more photos from the other day. It turns out the photo of me (slightly) feminized was all Robert's idea. Mistress got a laugh out of it, and said she wanted me to send a set of the photos directly to Callie, Silver, Master George, and to request Adrian see them. Oh joy. She reminded me to send a set to, "your husband."
For the time being Mistress has fastened my p.a. ring on with ownership disk attached by a chain. She got the idea from Story of O. Photo attached. Thanks to the tube's compression, my glans is not as wide as it was, but more bullet shaped, as the photo shows.

 

Mistress sent me the attached files yesterday just to humiliate me, to further erase any traces of masculine pride I might have left. I think I'm closing in on zero. I deserve Mistress' captions, as I could not satisfy her with my less than manly clitty.

 

Here are the rest of Mistress' pictures to improve my self image.

 

Rubbing my clitty with one finger like a real woman. With permission from Mistress, of course. The more determined I was to cum, the harder she laughed. The other 2 are "sign" pictures by Mistress' orders.

 

Mistress has had very little patience lately, I think it's because she had high hopes for the new belt. This has led to my p.a. with the Story of O attachments, the shackle, and just a few minutes ago my 4 gage p.a. ring. I don't usually wear it because it's heavy, is initially painful to put in because I normally wear a 6 gage, so I have to gradually stretch the hole. which makes all the difference in comfort.
Mistress stopped me as I was going out to do some shopping. She as asked if I had forgotten i was due for a corrective paddling. I actually had. That made no difference to Mistress.I assumed the posìtion across her lap. Soon I was fighting not to beg her to stop, as that might tell her I needed more. When it was over I slid to the floor. She told me to crawl across the room and stand in the corner for 2 hours. So, that was how I got a cherry red bottom and missed dinner. The last picture is a repeat, but it is so Mistress, I had to put it up again.

 

Mistress wanted photos of me neutered and genderless. Here they are.

 

A great day Part 1

Mistress came home with her sister while I was dozing on the couch. I heard Callie say that I hadn't done a good job dusting. They whispered and then Mistress commanded me not to move. Moments later I heard Mistress say , "No, you do it." I felt a lubed finger on my anus, followed by something inserted inside me. There was giggling and pictures taken. Mistress told me to do some dusting and do it without touching the duster. Callie said, "Move your ass like a cotton tailed bunny rabbit." More giggling. "Peter Cotton Tail," Callie said, giggling. I obeyed as best I could, and was then told to remove the duster.

 

A Great day. Part 2

Then Mistress handed me the vibrator she uses on me. When I asked what I should do with it, she said, Shove it up your ass, girl. We want to watch the show." So I lubed the vibrator and my anus, and slowly inserted it. With the vibrator on medium pulse, it felt VERY GOOD. More photos were taken, directions called out. I was disappointed that I stayed limp, which provoked outright laughter. Callie pointed out that I couldn't get a hard on. Mistress walked over to me and held my pathetic clitty in her hand. She began to stroke in in an uninterested way, Nothing happened. She asked Callie if she ever heard of the Irish curse. When Callie said no, Mistress said there are scientific studies that Irish men have the smallest penis size of all europeans. Callie looked at my limp little clitty in Mistress' hand, and said that I must be full Irish. Mistress laughed and said, "She is. My little Irish girl has an Irish clitty." More merriment at my expense.

 

A Great Day. Part 3

Callie asked Mistress when she was going to lock up "Mopey Dick, the limp white shrimp." Mistress gave it a moment's thought and said, "Right now." She asked Callie if she wanted to watch, and was told yes. Mistress ordered me to bring out my belt. If anything, my clitty deflated even more. Mistress told her sister it is more humiliating to make me put it on myself, without help. And so I tucked away my limp Irish clitty while the two women watched me, giggling. Once I was securely locked, Callie patted the front shield, and told me, "Men have cocks. You have nothing. Real men fuck. You get fucked. Real men please their women. Yours had to find a real man who can. You're more girl than man, you little cocksucker. I know it, my sister knows it, and now you know it too. That belt your'e wearing should never come off." This little speech caught me off guard, leaving me with no reply. It was as unexpected as it was undeniable. Mistress was shocked at Callie's intensity. Mistress asked me if I had anything I wanted to say. I felt the familiar wave of submission take control. I bowed my head and said, "No, Mistress. I can't argue with anything Callie said. I'm not a man."
"No, you're not. You are a sissy cocksucker with a tiny clitty. You are my slave. What are you?"
"I am your sissy slave girl, Mistress."
She nodded and ordered me to take a cushion and to rub Callie's feet. I obeyed, humbled at being so submissive to someone who had just called me useless and worthless.
Attached photos are by order of Mistress.
Miss Carly humbly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

Today Mistress took off my belt, but said not to get my hopes up, it was just temporary. She also took off my collar and bracelet. She handed me some of her clothes and told me to put them on. She wanted me to look soft and girly. She posed me, saying I have a stronger female energy than I used to. Attached are the results. Mistress wasted no time in relocking me.
MissCarly humbly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

Thank you, Bobber. It's easy to be insecure being dressied in girl clothes. Having to look pretty and be judged by everyone who sees me is a cause for anxiety. <quick shy hug>
MissCarly humbly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

Next to last photo: my tits look pretty good.

 

<curtseys>
Robert came over while I was asleep on the couch. Mistress had taken off my belt on the theory I could get used to it gradually. Later, Robert showed me pictures he had taken of me. I think they are artistic, in spite of starring my ass.
MissCarly curtsey's and humbly exits her journal.

 

This morning Mistress told me she was buying me a present and I had to try it on in front of her. So we went on this mysterious errand into the city. Mistress made certain to keep me in the dark as long as possible ("Just sign the paper, don't read it"). It was only when I was told to lift my shirt and the sales woman used a marker on me, that I realized she was a professional piercer and about to pierce my navel. After I was pierced, momentary pain only, Mistress told me that belly piercings were historically a way a woman let men know she was open to a sexual relationship, and that it was still almost exclusively an erotic female piercing. She congratulated me that I had taken another step in embracing my feminine nature. I asked why she had picked out the pink jewels. Mistress said, "because it's cute." She then said it's another way I can let Robert know that I want to be swept off my feet and ravished by him on a dark, lonely moor. I could call him Heathcliff and he could call me Cathy. I think Mistress has been reading romance novels. So, I can't swap it out for 6 months, and it should take a year for it to fully heal. This means my belt won't be usable for a year, maybe longer because it rides right up to my navel when I sit down or bend over. Just realized I will have to be careful when Robert and I make love. And it's low riding pants from now on. Another sneaky part of feminiizing me, perhaps?

 

Just had a thought: i'm going to have to buy a lot of low rise, french cut panties to avoid any accidental piercing rubbings. The french cut just because they look cute.

 

Here's a test for a femme look for me. Naturally, I have no say in the matter.
MissCarly curtseys and exits her journal.

 

First off I have to say I feel stupid.
With my clitty tempoarily uncaged as a treat, i found myself idly stroking, giving me that comforting feeling i hadn't realized i had missed.. Mistress walked in on me and said, "bad girl." Well, i had been caught with my clitty in my hand, no point in pleading for leniency. Mistress had me kneel, my hands resting on my lap, careful to keep my back straight so as not to put pressure on my piercing. Mistress said i showed i wasn't appreciative of her generosity. The first thing she did was put me in the Cherrykeeper micro, "To keep your hands off my property." She walked around me, taking her time. She said that since i like the people here in the Mansion she would let them decide what should be the appropriate punishment for a naughty sissy. The choices are:
1. 20 swats with a paddle. (or until welts show, whichever comes first)
2. Be Mistress⁰ Carlie's maid for a month
3. Wear girl clothes 24/7 for 3 months, while practicing my feminine voice; I am so not there yet!
4. Advise all family members that i want to only be called "Carly" and practicing my feminine voice; I am so not there yet!

Thats it..if you read this, please let me know your verdict. The votes will be counted April 8, with the results postd here. A hung jury would be nice, although in the mansion, a hung jury seems unlikely.
MissCarly (contrite) curtseys and exits her journal.p

 

Realistcally, 4 is only immediate adult family.

 

nikki, thanks for being the first to vote.

 

Today Mistress sent me on a secret mission, pick up a package. Following instructions, I arrived in NYC at an ordinary office building. The package waiting for me contained a pocket bra sized for me, and fitted in it were 2 silicone breast forms, the same as used in implants, only these have nipples. In short, thanks to Mistress, for all practical purposes, I now have a pair of 40D breasts. All I have to do is put on my bra. In case it isn't obvious, I am thoroughly delighted with my new tits. I have been wearing them since I arrived home 3 hours ago. I feel so girlish, like I just found a part of me I didn't know was missing. They have some weight to them, (which i find very erotic) giving me an insight into what girls live with every day. Mistress told me it is a lesson I should learn. Another is to see how people will react to me with my new breasts. Also waiting for me at home were 2 toys. One is a medium sized butt plug with a 3D rose on the back, handle, whatever it's called. The other toy is a 7" long, 1.6" wide chocolate colored dildo, which curves up like a good erection. So to sum up. Mistress gave me a pair of 40D breasts and a 7" cock that I can fuck myself with. Needless to say I had to try them out. The cock was difficult to insert, as my hand was covered in lube, making that source of pleasure slippery as hell. Ahh, but once it was inside me, pure bliss. And then to be fucked by that cock while wearing my new titties...well. this sissy was in heaven. I suction cupped it to a chair and easedi down on it. Once I had hit the base I began riding it, kind of a reverse cowgirl. The only thing that would have made it perfect was if I was unlocked with my clitty flapping up and down, like in the gay and trans porn Mistress has me watch to reenforce my association of butt sex with pleasure and orgasms. The packaging says that it is compatible with all dildo harneses. Perhaps Mistress wants me to have a cock that can give pleasure while denying me. Is she being that devious?Mistress said the cock reminded her of the boy she lost her virginity to. So she said that since I tried it out, in a way he fucked me too. I can live with that. Pictures commemorating this good day are attached. Mistress said i could also use my new cock to practice giving blow jobs when the real thing isn't available.