Last Names

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Domina-na-na, Aug 7, 2018.

?

Whose last name does your family use?

  1. Husband’s

    50 vote(s)
    74.6%
  2. Wife’s

    2 vote(s)
    3.0%
  3. Both (hyphenated)

    3 vote(s)
    4.5%
  4. Both (we each kept our original last name)

    12 vote(s)
    17.9%
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  1. Domina-na-na
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  2. L-u-c-y
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    Staff Member Owner of Chastity Mansion Administrator Verified Female

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    If I were to get married (god forbid!) I would have a hyphenated surname.

    But if 2 people got married who already had hyphenated surnames, what would happen then? :)
     
  3. RangerCuck
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    RangerCuck Member

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    I actually didn't realize *any* guys had taken their wife's last name. And to be honest, this is a subject that had never crossed my mind (largely because, as the article states, there are no publicly visible examples of it happening).
     
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  4. mr_newbie
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    mr_newbie Member

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    I often wondered that! Long long names for future generations.

    There is a guy I work with who got married last year. They didn't use either of their surnames. They instead chose a new one.
     
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  5. Wonderwomanssub
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    Wonderwomanssub Active member

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    I took a sociology class like 10 or so years ago where this subject came up. More and more men were taking their futures wife's surname. One of the points made was that single or divorced women with children would have to go through a lot more hassle to all have their last names changed via excessive paperwork and trips to the court house when they wanted to remarry. It makes more sense for the man to change his last name as there would be a lot less confusion and hassle for the entire family. Plus I like it because it makes the relationship seem more matriarchal :)
     
  6. Wonderwomanssub
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    Wonderwomanssub Active member

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    I don't know if you are a fan of the show South Park but there is a great episode where Kyle's family moves to San Francisco, one of the jokes being made was that this family they met there all had hyphenated and double hyphenated last names, super funny!
    http://southpark.cc.com/clips/155202/new-neighbors
     
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  7. thundar
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    thundar Member

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    Huge increase in monogramming costs for towels, bath robes etc
     
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  8. HeForHer
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    HeForHer Member

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    I had this conversation with my partner and her mom. As I'm an orphan I'm not overly attached to my name and said I think it's a great statement to make about changing times for the man to take his wife's name. They both agreed with relish and her mom once told me it would be very sweet her her son-in-law to have HER surname, hint hint. That made me realize, as my partner's mother never married, I'd be taking her name. And I loved that she'd thought about it and the statement of this man joining their family and having to take the matriarchal name.

    I'm going to press for this when the time comes but it seems they are all in favor.
     
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  9. tegelad
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    tegelad Class and sophistication in all things

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    People forget that the whole point of surname taking was to ensure that incest didn't happen. For guys it is a positive point of pride of being in a relationship. It should not be the prime or only reason for a relationship, but people also need to be cognizant of the fact that by stripping more and more of the traditions away from something, the less important the act becomes. Some say good (not for me to judge), but marriage is a positive aspect of building a society. With it being devalued the societal costs will be great.

    There is great strife in the United States right now, and it all started due to abandonment and loss of belief in the traditional structures of America. For good or bad ... one can see the end output/result. YMMV.
     
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  10. Cuckster
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    Cuckster Member

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    I've always wanted to take my wife's name.
    Since long before I knew what chastity or FemDom or any of it was. since I was a kid.
    2 reasons:
    - Always felt it was just wrong that the girl was always expected to give up her name (which it totally is)
    - I hate my own surname, which is convenient. Nothing wrong with it per se, I just don't like it. Have thought about changing it by deed poll but that seems rather vain.

    Not a fan of the double-barrel I'm afraid (no disrespect @L-u-c-y ) I just can't get past the fact it seems really pretentious. It should be 50:50 whether a married couple takes wife or hubby's name. No conventions or expectations whatsoever. Couples should just choose whichever they like best. Where they absolutely cannot agree on one or the other (good luck with that marriage) they should just each keep their own name.

    *of course in the wonderful subby fantasy world it should always be the wife's name by law :)
     
  11. keyheld
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    keyheld Member

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    I’ve also had this thaught. Still it might make doing a family tree easier
     
  12. skD
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    skD HausCuck

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    In the consummate female led marriage, this would signify the ultimate surrender; taking my wife's last name. I did like the one post that referenced a couple choosing a new last name together - sure to plague Ancestry.com ;)
     
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  13. slutpj
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    slutpj Junior Member

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    I'd have happily taken my wifes last name. In her prior marriage, she didn't give it up, her ex kept his, too. But, she wanted to take mine - it was a new start for her, a break from a bad life. I was honored.
     
  14. Goddess Gaia
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    Goddess Gaia Looking for a Good boy in Central PA
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    My parents are staunch feminists, and I asked my mom why she took Dad''s name. "Either way, it's a man's last name, and I liked my husband more than my father." My middle name is my grandma's maiden name, bc Mom didn't want it to be lost.

    I always thought it weird that girls aren't attached to their names. When we get crushes as teens, we write in our notebook, 'mrs. Gaia Smith, Mrs Gaia Jones, etc'. You never meet a Gaia Scott Jr.
    I've read in Sociology that not all cultures drop the wife's name. I think in some Latin American countries they keep their own and the child takes the mom''s name.

    I think the most romantic thing would be take both letters and make a brand new name, bc it's the start of a new family. Or Skywalker. Always be a Skywalker if given the chance.
     
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  15. imasissytoo
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    imasissytoo Member

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    They would open a Law Firm
     
  16. Breathe
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    Breathe Wife, Owner, Dom/me, and KH of _and_smile

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    We kept our own. Mostly, because it wasn't really something that came up in discussion for either of us before marriage - which was refreshing.

    When it did, the decision was easy. Continuity in My career was a big factor for Me. For him, there was no desire to 'brand' Me in such a way. So you can imagine the smile I had when this five minute conversation was done! :)

    It's not for us, but I love the idea of taking a new one. Seems like an exciting way to get a fresh start. :love:
     
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  17. Domina-na-na
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    Thanks for all the responses! I find this topic so fascinating. At the time of our marriage, it never occurred to me that we could use my surname. I really disliked my original surname, for a few reasons but mostly because it was so long. I much prefered my husband's shorter surname so I was very excited to switch. Also, I would never want to have a different surname than my husband or children. I like being a cohesive unit/team.

    I also like the idea of creating a new surname together... A mashup of both would be fun.
     
  18. Scott Boi
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    Scott Boi "Being me is harder than it looks."

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    I found a few blog posts that have been collected at "The Wonderful World of Female Supremacy," where many of the dominant women believed the male should be given the woman's last name, but that was only the first step. For instance, this post speaks to the "Matriarchal Ownership of Males" --- http://thomaslavalle.blogspot.com/2018/04/lady-julie-matriarchal-ownership-of.html

    There are also some other contributions written by women who were living in households where Female Supremacy was seen as the natural order of things. I found the comments about raising children to see women as dominant and males as submissive to be unsettling, but not for any immoral or unethical practices that were obvious or blatant examples of abuse, but just because I think I might still be a little under-evolved.

    Here are a few of the earlier posts and if interested you can find many more on the website:

    1. Enforcing Male Silence in a Female-Led Home --- http://thomaslavalle.blogspot.com/2016/06/enforcing-male-silence-in-female-led.html.

    2. Female Led Families: Submissive Dads and Dominant Daughters ---- http://thomaslavalle.blogspot.com/2016/07/mistress-sandra-commenting-on-post.html

    3. Growing Up in a Female-Led Home (Part One) --- http://thomaslavalle.blogspot.com/2016/08/leo-growing-up-in-matriarchal-home-part_73.html
     
  19. Lann
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    Lann Member

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    then it starts becoming like Daenerys' title. Give it a couple more marriages and it'll start sounding like...

    Daenerys of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, The Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Realm, Lady Regnant of the Seven Kingdoms, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons
     
  20. sgdgolf
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    sgdgolf Member

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    Both of our last names are hyphenated, but my name is last for both of us.
     
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  21. jb123
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    jb123 Member

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    Made me think of this.

     
  22. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    Changing your surname legally is easy and is quite low cost £15 by Deed Poll
    Christian names.... used to require an act of parliament or some such ridiculous thing but no more.

    I can see the sense for professional reasons in retaining ones surmane or hyphenating it when marrying and thinking of having children.

    But for most people just carry on with your given name.
    Don't forget changing your name, in sense accepts your prior name which has all kinds of 'Straw Man' implications. As indeed does simply the case you use in writing your name.
     
  23. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I am no stickler on traditional dogma and if she had not wanted to take my name it wouldn’t have upset me in the least. On the same note, I wouldn’t feel comfortable changing my name.

    She has actually had a huge interest in taking my name. I do think it has a lot to do with a fresh start, a new beginning, to tell the world we aren’t just dating anymore, and to be honest a bit of pride (he’s with me). Plus I have a fun Italian name lol!

    Watching her go through the motions of changing her name almost makes me feel guilty. All I had to do is sign a marriage license. She had to put in for a name change, drivers license, bank accounts, social security, email for work, health and life insurance, new checks, and all her bills. Yuck what a hassle!
     
  24. tegelad
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    tegelad Class and sophistication in all things

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    I never thought of this what a great idea. My last name is rare so I would prefer to have it stick around, but not like it matters since I don't have kids ....

     
  25. sublkd33
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    sublkd33 New member

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    What a great question for the FLR forum and all great answers. When we married it was not a question, just went with my name but I really thought she should have kept hers. Her first and my last just didn't sound good together. She took hers back immediately after the divorce so I don't think she liked it either.
     
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