Kitchen duties and backtalk

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by lockedbyLadyKat, Jan 10, 2022.

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  1. lockedbyLadyKat
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    lockedbyLadyKat Happy submissive hubby

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    I am responsible for washing and putting away dishes, glasses and cutlery etc. I do have a bad habit of leaving cupboards & drawers partially open while i am washing dishes and / or cooking. But once i am done in the kitchen and turn off the lights i make sure the cupboard doors & drawers are closed. Lady Kat will often come in the kitchen and make a comment about this and i will defend my actions. Today she asked me to find out what other subs would do in this situation. Are others allow to answer back, to defend their actions or just stfu, apologize and follow the orders to the letter.
     
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  2. Mojoman
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    Mojoman Long term member

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    I feel that there is a difference between being dominant and micro-managing. Dishwashing is one of those real-life everyday tasks which, I assume, your wife has designated to you because she hates doing it. I assume that she's more interested in the finished job than how you do it?

    I don't think you'll get a definitive answer to your question..... some will say "do as she says", some wives won't want to bother with that much detail.
     
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  3. Jail Bird
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    Jail Bird Long term member

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    I can defend my actions to a point. While she's in control of our WLM, I do try to do as I'm told or required.
    Cabinet doors and drawers are about the same here.My wife is more concerned with me doing my tasks the correct way, or her way as she puts it!

    Too much back talk gets me disciplined.
     
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  4. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    I see this as a failure of submission. Her comments make clear how she'd like it done. So why aren't you doing it that way?
     
  5. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    In my opinion, this is more of a roommate issue than a dom/sub issue. She doesn’t like doors open if she happens to walk in while you are doing dishes. Seems small to me but hey, I have my pet peeves too.

    If you know it bugs her, don’t do it, that’s roommate 101. If it’s something she felt the need to question you about, it would probably be best to accommodate her. If you can’t do things the way she wants it’s usually best not to add to the problem.

    My wife is just glad she isn’t the one doing it and happy with the final results. Sometimes she will come up behind me and give me a hug and say “I’m so lucky” kiss my neck and head to the living room to relax.
     
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  6. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    My wife and i aren't in a FLM, but i do a large part of our household chores. She normally lets me do stuff as i like, but when she complains i realize i should adjust. Like vacuuming, she wanted it done more often while i thought weekly was enough. But after her compliant, i began doing hardwood floors more often which made her happy. Same with how i do the laundry, if there are items she wants done a certain way, i do it, even if it seems like overkill. She has a couple of tops and shorts she doesn't like put in the dryer too long, so i watch those and remove early or hang to dry instead. It is just a matter of listening and doing what pleases her. If you are submissive that is how you need to operate.
     
  7. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    Oh and Back Talk is never a good idea. Being sassy is certainly not a good attitude for a sub.
     
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  8. asastype
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    asastype Service sub to Mistress AMA

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    @MistressAMA and i are in a FLR and i do all the chores outside of cooking, which She enjoys. I am able to do these as i see fit--She definitely doesn't micromanage me. She sometimes questions my process, but will listen to an earnest explanation. However, obedience is paramount and any direct requests are taken as orders, no matter how they are framed.

    asa
     
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  9. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Fiona with the Magical Velveteen Pussy

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    My Wife doesn't micro-manage me, nor does she object to me defending myself or arguing my point of view. As long it's respectful its fine to disagree. She doesn't want a robot, she wants a husband. She may want a submissive husband, but she doesn't want a 'yes' person she wants someone who actively helps and supports her in her life.
     
  10. lockedbyLadyKat
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    lockedbyLadyKat Happy submissive hubby

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    I should have made it perfectly clear. Lady Kat isn't mad when she comes in the kitchen, we have a very playful FLR. She will be smiling as she make the comment " how will I know if the house is haunted if you keep leaving cupboard doors open".
    Then yesterday when i made a comment to defend myself, that when she challenged me to discover how other couples would react to this situation.
    If she was mad with the open doors / drawers and didnt have that playful tone and smile, i guarantee every single time every thing would be closed immediately after i used it.
    We have been together 27 years and have had very few arguments & fights. We are best friends and i know on issues that she is serious about, her word is law
     
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  11. B.E.Sissy
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    B.E.Sissy New member

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    It depends if your task is to wash the dishes surely you should be judged at the end and not how you do it?
     
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  12. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    Intent is important, and understanding intent is important.

    If her intent is to instruct you, then you listen. If it's playful, then play!

    If your intent is not one of respect for her, then you have trouble.

    Sometimes my wife gets upset with the way I'm doing something (yup, washing dishes is a recent example). I just try to figure out how to respond in a manner that I won't be upset with myself later. I don't always get it right. But if there's an indication of what she wants, then it's pretty easy ...
     
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  13. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Sounds like a nice intro into some funishment! Have fun being a little bratty, she may have fun dishing out some playful discipline
     
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  14. slutsarah
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    slutsarah Active member

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    sounds playful. But, to be serious, not only am i responsible for all of the chores you mention, but when my Wife is done with something i put it in the dishwasher not Her. She will leave things laying around and i clean up after. If i leave something of mine laying around She comments. We love it is our dynamic. No regrets.
     
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  15. LockedTower
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    LockedTower Active member

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    If your mistress expresses a desire that you do something a certain way, then you should do them that way without complaint. I think this is essentially the baseline expectation of a D/s or FLR dynamic. I'm far from perfect at living up to this ideal, but I'm working on it.
     
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  16. MSDB321
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    MSDB321 Active member

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    I am not allowed to answer back and my explanations are not welcome or accepted. I am expected to leave the kitchen neat and tidy when I have finished cooking and putting everything away.
     
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  17. lockedforfun
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    lockedforfun Active member

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    How other couples would react isn't an important as how you two react, but if she's looking for ideas, then I think Nicoftime has it right then, with:

    What we would do in your situation would probably be that my wife would use my arbitrary 'failure' to do the dishes in the manner she wanted as a reason to punish me, with the fact that I actually did the dishes as the reason the "punishment" would be enjoyable for me. Using the chore of doing the dishes as an excuse for her to assert some playful authority makes the chore into a fun and exciting activity for me, and for us, that's one of the great parts of our power exchange relationship - we inject sexual connotations in routine necessities. What better way is there to turn chore-time into play-time?

    As far as "back talk", she could cut you off and say "You can explain yourself to me later, while I'm sitting on your face." Assuming that works for you!
     
  18. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    You are in the “Female Led Relationship” sub forum. Correct?

    She has made an effort to correct you on a simple task. Should you do it to her satisfaction, or argue with her?

    Answering one way, says you are in the right spot, with the right spirit, and her satisfaction is important to you.

    Answering the other way, should cause you to question why you are involved with a FLR. She may also be wondering.

    If you were just having a bad moment, then an apology would probably be appreciated and well received.

    I am sometimes tested by small requests as you have been. I suspect these “little” requests are gauging my commitment to her. We are very much a partnership and my opinion counts a great deal. But, the little things matter.
     
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  19. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    On the other hand, if she is just provoking you for fun, then get creative with your response!
     
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  20. B.E.Sissy
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    B.E.Sissy New member

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    dishing....... heehee
     
  21. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Long term member

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    Mistress delegates certain task to me and if they are not done to Her satisfaction, I hear about it and correct appropriately, but I am never permitted to talk back to Her about it. Peace in the wigwam!
     
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  22. madams-sissysub
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    I can see this from both sides of the argument, if it was me, as it is quite often my madam wouldn’t enter the kitchen until the task had been completed, so she would not know the doors had been left open during the task.
    But as your lady is in the kitchen and an see what’s is going on, it’s your duty to obey and comply completely.
     
  23. ballbust
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    ballbust bbust

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    Back talk is usually met with her right knee immediately slamming into my balls. I guarantee you learn pretty quick.
     
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